times.
This scene has been viewed for times.
(The English translation is done by me, AKIDA Yamakusa. The original Chinese version is here.)
It's a dream...
I am very strong.
I don't need to live seriously, nor paying much effort to live.
I write the script, direct it and act it out myself.
As if the fast forward button of a video tape player was pushed, this 'abnormal' life which has lasted for more than 10 years flied across HAO's eyes.
And suddenly stopped at that moment.
Yoh, caught tightly in the palm of the Spirit of Fire, shouted, "You are continuously searching for a greater power because things had never been in accord with your wishes!"
The pain which had been piling up for a thousand years started tumbling down in an avalanchish way. You, Asakura Yoh, showed me the things I could also enjoy having and actually having them. However, I could not understand the plain fact that "you are another me, another possibility of me". And I was a shaman?!
No. Actually I have understood that from the beginning. It's just that I cannot accept it... why it is you? Not me?
Formatted weird building, called 'school'.
People wearing tasteless uniforms, called "students".
Reading identical books, called "textbooks".
Hm? This certainly doesn't look like my memory? So this is really a dream...
Someone called 'teacher' was asking questions.
Sombody called "Asakura" held up his hand to answer.
Something called "fright" was inside the eyes, which were all fallen on the little boy who was holding up his hand, and looked exactly like a super-deformed version of Yoh.
Ah? So this is Yoh's memory?
If you speak something, others would give you an expression showing that they thought you have lied; if you don't speak anything, others would show you an expression that "you have said something wrong."
So your situation had also been very bad! Although you have your parents to take care of you... You were so weak, so dependent on others, but luckily you had got love and care from your parents. Otherwise you won't be able to have such a leisurely belief like "there must be a solution somehow" for each problem, right?
Because I had never been able to have the things I want, I wanted more power. You are dead right! But people like you, who has got a hiding place for both your heart and body, won't be able to understand my pain! Although I am strong enough to make every place a hiding place for my physical body, there is no place in the world that would accept my heart...
BANG!
HAO turned and looked, only to discover that he had just thrown the unconscious Yoh straight into the ground with Spirit of Fire. Unbelievably, the unconscious Yoh managed to create an oversoul before he hit the ground and landed unhurt.
This is impossible! Producing an oversoul when one is unconscious?! This is not achievable even if Yoh had melted a part of his soul with the spirit he had! Without permission from the shaman, his spirit could have done nothing...
So Yoh had given prior permission to Amidamaru to to use his body and memory as he like when he lost his consciousness! Even if Amidamaru was Yoh's 'friend' this is still too much trust...
Trust...
"Even if it is not achievable by a single person, with collective effort, it might be achievable!"
"This is just an excuse with which the weak ones use to deceive each other!"
Honestly speaking, your oversoul attacks were useless to me. However, your words and your behaviors shook the believes I had held so tightly.
What you had faith in was 'the light of hope'. It is different from blindly believing in somebody, one's own power or some believes, it is but to believe in one's insignificance when the situation seems to be hopeless -- "I must have missed an important point", "There must be a solution somehow, it is just that I haven't thought of it", "I must have done something wrong, or it must be because of my lack of power such that the situation is like this".
Genuine trust is something intricate that depends on a complicated network.
Or else it would not be possible to trust another entity continuously and truly with one's full heart.
With the collective wishes and Furyoku from all the people, you rescued me from this nightmare which had lasted for a thousand years. You knew that death is nothing to me, therefore you chose to use such a violent method to satisfy my wish and others, even if that violated your wish of 'not to kill'...
'The outcome is the truth'. My own thesis was proved to be right.
It was really out of my expectation, no -- I should say 'imagination', that the whole Patch village and the Sacred Land of the Star was just a big oversoul illusion made by that oversoul-producing machine, and were eliminated by you lot, who were chasing for the 'truth'. (AKIDA: at the end of the anime, after HAO was killed, the whole Patch village and the Sacred Land of the Star disappeared.)
There is nothing more cruel than the truth, father. (AKIDA: This is a famous saying of Asakura Misaki, Yoh's dad)
* * * * * * * * * *
WHAP!
Sharp pain was coming up form the face. Must be Anna-dono's 'lengendary left'! Ahhh, so this is my first morning after I woke up from the 'nightmare'...
AKIDA Yamakusa 2003
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