At the End is the Beginning

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(The Chinese version is here.)

(Much thanks to the editors of the English version: Wind of MESSWORLD & 262501)

"No one knows how many times he has lived and died during this thousand years -- if experience is reality itself, then HAO, who has probably got the strongest form of Spiritual Sight, ReiShi, would have a soul equivalent to a mini-G.S."

This was what Anna said, in a heavy and serious manner, to Yoh before he left the uninhibited island, where the second round of S.F. took place, for MU.

Yoh had just awakened in Kalim’s Plant. For some unknown reasons, the first thing that came up in Yoh's mind was Anna and the last words she said to him. This is unusual for him -- normally his body wakes up an hour before his mind. Yoh was perfectly aware of his present anomaly -- his mind should be empty, but obviously it was not.

Something is wrong, Yoh thought.

It's uncomfortable not to have an empty mind at this time of the day, Yoh decided as he looked around his already awakened friends. He turned on his iconic smile like the sunrise, and said in his usual lazy tone, "I'm going out to have a little walk alone."

Yoh could not stop feeling amazed at this Plant, which was practically an all-in-one self-sustainable farm. It not only had a natural scenery, the smell was just what a farm smells like. Although it was actually indoors, it did not have that weird air-conditioning smell which is prevalent in the air-conditioned indoors of the cities.

Slowly, a real smile spread across the naturally toned skin of Yoh, like sunlight, as his mood slowly returned back to a relaxed state.

He had realized what was wrong -- he had come face to face with his originally unacknowledged desire that he really wished that he had grown up with his identical twin brother, HAO, under the same roof, like normal brothers in normal families. However, Anna's words had necessarily declared this as an impossibility: even if they had grown up together, they would not have developed exactly a normal sibling relationship since they started out too different mentally.

Yoh was glad that Anna had left such inspiring words for him to chew on. Else, such hidden desires would be fully used by HAO to take advantage against Yoh himself when they finally face each other.

Yoh took a deep breath, and re-examined his situation.

Do I want to rescue HAO's soul no matter what is out there?
Yup.
Why?
Otherwise my soul can't relax.
Why?
Because...probably... my belief would therefore be challenged. I really cannot agree with his beliefs and his way of doing things.
Why can't you agree with the way he does things?
I guess, I really do think that "there must be a way", so I really can't be comfortable with HAO's violent and bloody style, because I do not agree with the beliefs behind those methods. Also, after talking to him, I think he's not fundamentally a bad guy.
...

"Nah, still contemplating about how you can show mercy to your elder brother? It's impossible, I tell ya," Ren had been following Yoh again, without him knowing.

"To be honest, I guess he's already awake now. On the other hand, Anna's going to fidget and at the end she will persuade all of them to come down here, under the name of "protecting the Gandhara", or something like that. So have you decided to take all the attacks for HAO, or beat him down first and then teach him how to rest in peace? Or do you want us to be the bad guys and send you two on your way?" Dangerous golden sparkles in the pair of unnatural eyes gave the receiver a mild sense of electrical shock.

"Although it's told in a rough way, it sounds practical, boss Yoh," Ryu seemed to be worrying about Yoh and Ren starting another fight at this sort of time, and had tailed them therefore.

But no one expected Kalim, who came up from behind Ryu.

"My dear good children, I've, with blessings, prepared you your breakfast."

Yoh joined in the breakfast, and was glad to see Jeanne, Faust and Radim enjoying the food like others, just like today is any usual day in the past. However, Yoh still felt somewhat uncomfortable, although he tried hard not to show that on his face.

If Anna were here, my amateur level of acting would have been mocked at.
I'm still feeling weird eating with people whose death were at least partially caused by me, or why some people who know they will soon be dead under the hand of kids one had made food for can eat with them. Although all seems not to mind this, as if this sort of things, including going through death and then being revived, are usual, wouldn't it be possible that they are also just acting like me? Or, is this the true nature of shamans?
Is this how the adult world is like? And that HAO had had a lot of similar experience...?
I'm... confused.
Why am I like this?
Oh no.

Yoh finally couldn't help showing his emotion on his face.

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AKIDA Yamakusa 2005

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