Lord VorTEx is proud to present:
NPC of the Week!

This week's NPC is designed for a Palladium Fantasy RPG campaign. He was inspired by the Canadian release last friday of the movie "Bean: The Ultimate Disaster Movie". I haven't seen the movie but I know Bean. In any case this NPC will make a lot more sense if you're a Bean fan. Regardless of these innocent origins though I think you'll find that Mr. Bean makes a very interesting addition to a Palladium campaign.

Suggestions, requests or comments? Feel free to ask. E-mail: [email protected]



Mr. Bean
Wandering Jester and Clown

    His hilarious antics and follies are renowned throughout the courts of the world. He's recognized as one of the greatest clowns/jesters/tumbers in the world. He has performed his famous act in some of the richest courts in the world for some of the most powerful people in the world. He draws laughter wherever he goes. He is the famous Mr. Bean, and he's on the run.
    Mr. Bean is not his real name. Mr. Bean was one of many characters that this incredibly talented entertainer developed over many, many years. Today however Mr. Bean is the only name he knows. For the past eleven months he has been living solely as Mr. Bean because he doesn't know who he really is. His memory of his name, his life, his nationality, everything is gone, missing. All he could remember when he awoke in a bedchamber in the castle of an Eastern baron was his most famous character, Mr. Bean. So Mr. Bean he has become, entirely.
    Mr. Bean is never out of character. He is always the quiet, mild-mannered but troublesome and morally bankrupt man that has become one of the most famous comical figures of all time. He doesn't know how else to act, he has no other identity. Over time he has become less and less concerned with who he is or where he's from. He enjoys his work. He lives to see the smiles on people's faces, to hear their applause and laughter. It helps him keep going.
    Mr. Bean is a hunted man. He doesn't know why. He does know though that someone has been tracking him for at least nine months, perhaps longer. He has heard that practicing clowns who are not a part of the guild of Kleintro are hunted down and killed by assassins and mercenaries. He thinks he's already escaped such assassins several times, but he wonders why they haven't been more direct. They could easily have killed him several times. Perhaps they want to torture him, or they don't want to upset whatever court he is visiting, perhaps it is something else. Mr. Bean doesn't know and doesn't want to find out. All he wants is to keep one step ahead of them, keeping a high profile with the nobility may help to protect him...
    In reality the guild of Kleintro is indeed hunting Mr. Bean as a false clown, but they don't want him dead, or at least not immediately. Mr. Bean has something of great value, something he doesn't know about in his head. It is information of some kind, planted by a wizard using Memory Bank. Exactly what the information is is a mystery, but whatever it is, it is apparently vital that they get their hands on it. Intact.

Real Name: Unknown
Alignment: Principled
Hit Points: 33    S.D.C.: 23
P.P.E.: 3            I.S.P.: N/A
Attributes: I.Q.: 9, M.E.: 9, M.A.: 14, P.S.: 14, P.P.: 19, P.E.: 15, P.B.: 7, Spd.: 21.
Horror Factor: N/A
Experience: 5th level Tumbler
Weight: 144lbs.    Height: 6'    Sex: Male    Age: Unknown (mid to late twenties)
Disposition: Innocent and naive to the point that he'll do extremely stupid things. Also completely without conscience and very easily distracted. Tends to be quiet and humble. He also pays no attention whatsoever to social conventions and is equally comfortable with the nobility as he is with the common man.
Inanities: Memory loss! His character is also extremely unusual.
Magic: None.
Psionics: None.
Combat: Hand to Hand: Expert. 3 attacks per melee, +5 to parry, +5 to dodge, +4 to strike, +4 to roll, +2 to pull punch, and kick attack(2D4).
Vulnerabilities/Penalties: Has no memory of his past life and experiences. Consequently much of the Palladium world is new to him as well.
Skills of Note: Tumbling=85%/95%, Dance(professional)=65%, Streetwise=40%, Language: Eastern=98%, Languages: Western, Southern & Elven=70%, Literacy: Elven and Eastern=55%, Sign Language=50%, W.P. Knife, W.P. Blunt, Jesting=50% and Clowning=46%.
Allies of Note: Mr. Bean is well liked and respected by many nobles throughout the world and will be recognized by many more.
Enemies: The clown's guild of Kleintro is a mortal enemy. Perhaps others, Mr. Bean doesn't know.
Weapons & Equipment of Note: Half suit of studded leather(A.R. 9, 30 S.D.C.), grappling hook & rope (30ft), pair of daggers(1D6) and costumes. Mr. Bean also owns a small, brown teddy bear which he frequently talks to and interacts with.
Money: 900 gold pieces.



For the Head of a Clown
HLS style adventure

Hook: Characters are looking for work (they always are).

Line: A fairly simple job is offered. Capture/kidnap a false clown for the guild of Kleintro and collect a handsome reward. He can be banged up a bit but not dead or seriously injured.

Sinker: Of course the target is the infamous Mr. Bean. The players may have seen or heard of him. He's currently staying as a special guest with a powerful noble in a castle or manor. Getting to him and getting him out will be difficult.
    Secondly since they have to capture him intact and bring him to the guild representatives they're likely to get to talk to him/get to know him. He seems to be totally harmless and naive and its hard to imagine why on earth they'd want him or why they'd go to so much trouble or offer so much money...



Hero Worship
HLS style adventure

Hook: Characters are traveling along a road between cities.

Line: The characters arrive on the scene just in time to catch a group of thugs robbing a strangely dressed man all alone.

Sinker: After the inevitable rescue the characters are stuck with Mr. Bean who decides to follow them around and inadvertently gets them in trouble. Not only that but the "thugs" who were robbing him were really hired muscle from the guild of Kleintro who were trying to stage a kidnapping without drawing too much attention.



Who's Brain is it Anyway?
HLS style adventure

Hook: The characters, somehow having met Mr. Bean are either traveling with him, in the court with him or are perhaps in charge of his protection.

Line: Suddenly they find that Mr. Bean has disappeared! This is very bad if they were supposed to protect him but even if not is still worrying. Fortunately there are clues to lead the characters towards a solution.

Sinker: The trail branches in two directions. One leading to the guild of Kleintro which has already hired a Mind Mage to extract the Memory Bank from his brain. The other trail leads to a powerful wizard or alchemist who put the Memory Bank in Mr. Bean's head in the first place. Whoever doesn't have him wants him and whoever has him is having trouble holding onto him.



Next week's
NPC of the Week:
The Rattlesnake [Rifts] - Another gunslinger with a twist.



Lord VorTEx
"Excuse me. I'm looking for
my watch."
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