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Extra-terrestrial advice



This page is brought to you to give you advice on how to act like an alien, even if you are not one and how to act like an alien even if you are one.


Now this is definitely not the way to be an alien. The best way is to use the art of subtlety as noone will even believe that you are an alien if you dress up in a green monster costume with purple polkadots. You are much more likely to be suspected of being an alien if you play the whole thing down and don't stick out like a sore thumb.
Note:We are going with the humanoid alien trying to fit in theory here.

How to dress

Wear silver grey eye make up and plenty of mascara (both men and women). Face make up should be light and and a pale lipstick should be worn at all times. Blusher should be avoided. A spare pair of sunglasses should be carried at all times so that they may be worn in the most unlikely places. One should always create an air of mystery and a "far away" facial expression should be perfected.

Avoid bright and/or baggy clothes. Silver, grey, white and black are the best colors to dress in as to draw subtle attention to yourself. Never mix and match colors. Always dress in the same color from head to toe. Shoes should also match.


Another popular alien look this season is the 'grey alien dressed as human' look. This is one of the most difficult looks to achieve.

One must spray paint one's face grey and have nose reconstruction surgery to obtain a 'Michael Jackson'-like nose. It is also neccessary to dress in one's parents clothes that they wore during the 1950-60 time period to achieve a 'stuck in the time warp' style.


The blue anorexic alien style is definitely a look to steer clear from this summer. This fashion trend died out quickly after the blue aliens realised that blue was definitely not their color and decided to paint themselves a more friendly shade of pink.

The trendiest way for a wannabe alien to travel this year is in these high speed electromagnetic-pulsar craft with a destructability drive which vapourises any obstructions on command. These high powered vehicles give flexibility to travelling the universe and make in-galaxy holidays much easier to arrange and to take.

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