This page is dedicated in its entirety to Queen and lightbulbs.

Here, I will attempt to answer the question that has plagued people for centuries (okay, since 1971 at least):

How Many Queenies Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

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How many Queenies does it take to change a lightbulb?

ONE.

Freddie. He was the one that broke the thing with his Ping-Pong racket!
Brian. Because he is such a nice guy...

He did it with "Back to the Light" (contributed by Richard "breakfree" Anderson - hats off, dears!)

He'll change it. Some day, one day...

Roger. But he will break two more in the process.
John. He is a wiz with electronic gizmos.

TWO.

Freddie and Brian. They are used to working together.

Freddie and Roger. That flashy "couple of queens" from the Kensington Market. Of course, changing lightbulbs isn't something they are used to doing, so in the process of changing that lightbulb., they'll make a mess, cuss everybody out, fight, make peace, fight again, bicker 'till kingdom come, and drink half of Russia.

Freddie and John. It will be a chance to get to know each other better.

Brian and Roger. No more fighting over hairspray, you hear?!!

Brian and John. Because they are the high-tech science-minded lads. And they won't just change the lightbulb either: they will replace it with a home-made device that give out twice the light at half the electricity, takes minutes to put together and faithfully serves Queenies 24-7, until they can afford a real lightbulb. They know it doesn't work as well and costs a lot, but they don't want to become known as "The Group That Can't Afford Lightbulbs' - it would be rather unprofessional, dears!

Roger and John. Freddie and Brian are away in the studio, writing hits, recording new songs and doing other such mindless things...

THREE.

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(sorry, I'm still working on it. Why do you think I haven't posted "I've updated my Humor Page" on my main page? 'cause it ain't done yet!)

" Me ? Changing *lightbulbs*?! Absolutely not! I'm not here to change lightbulbs (or the world)."

NONE.

1) Queen do not change lightbulbs. They graciously permit their roadies to do it for them.

2) Queen do not change lightbulbs. They find darkness simply *fascinating* and a rather creative nuance . The rest of the album is recorded in absolute darkness, of which Queen do not hesitate to notify fans on the sleeve. Right next to that "No synths!" sign: "No synths, No lights!"
And coming up next: "No singing - lead singer absent indefinitely."

3) Why bother? Queen love candlelight...

4) They won't change it. Instead, they'll write songs like "Scared of the Dark" and "Monsters in my Corner", because Queen are used to making the best out of the worst.