Valgarv's Oedipus Complex
Sedalia: Hey, Xellos, help me decide who to slash Valgarv with next.
Xellos: This should be fun.
Valgarv: Don't I get any say in this?
Sedalia: Not really, no.
Valgarv: This ain't right.
Sedalia: You didn't like the fic I wrote about your hidden love for Lina?
Xellos:
*snicker* I thought you liked redheads, Val.Valgarv: @#$%ing die!
Sedalia: I think that you're in love with Filia, but don't want to admit it because of...
Xellos: ...your feelings for me! ^_^
Valgarv: What the @#$% are you talking about?
Sedalia: Haven't you heard the rumor that Xellos is your ex-boyfriend?
Valgarv: I certainly don't remember THAT.
Sedalia: Anyway, how would you feel about being slashed with Filia?
Xellos: I wouldn't mind sharing.
Valgarv: You touch her and I'll kill you!
Xellos: But I was talking about you, silly.
Sedalia: Was that jealousy I detected in your voice, Val? How sweet!
Valgarv:
*flushes* What?!?!?Xellos: It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Freud thought that it
was perfectly natural for boys to want to...
Sedalia: That's quite enough, Xellos. True, the fact that Filia adopted you when you were reborn at the end of Slayers Try would make a relationship sort of awkward.
Xellos: Stranger things have happened. Rezo boinked his own biological daughter.
Sedalia: You have a point. That doesn't make this seem that bad after all. At least they're not related.
Valgarv: You two are @#$%ing sick.
Sedalia:
*goads* Well, if you don't have feelings for Filia then I guess you wouldn't mind her ending up with Xellos.Valgarv: She deserves somebody better than that @#$%ing fruitcake.
Sedalia: Even though Xellos/Filia is a pretty popular couple, I just don't think it would work out. Filia's going to look for somebody who would be a good father.
*a thought bubble appears*
(
Xellos: Val, you forgot to clean your room! *grinds his staff mercilessly into little Valgarv's back, grinning maniacally*Little Valgarv: Waaaaah! Mommy, help! Daddy's bein' a perverted sadist again!
)I don't think Xellos would be a model parent.
Xellos: Spare the rod and spoil the child. ^_^
S
edalia and Valgarv: That's @#$%ing disgusting.Sedalia: I just think that you and Filia would make a much better couple that her and Xellos. It's pretty obvious that you had feelings for each other. She gave you a second chance because she loved you, Val.
Valgarv: . . . . . . . . . . .
Sedalia: Is it so wrong to want you two to be together? I just want you to be happy.
*hugs Valgarv*S
edalia and Valgarv: *speechless moment*Xellos: Don't I get a hug, too, Val?
Valgarv: @#$% off!
Sedalia: Shut up! He's mine!
Xellos:
If you think he belongs with Filia, then why are you always all over him?Sedalia:
*shrugs* Just because I'm a Val-crazy hentai, I guess.Xellos: Speaking of hentai, isn't there something we're forgetting?
Valgarv: Oh @#$$%&*!!!!
Sedalia: That's right, Xellos! I can't believe it went unnoticed this long. Our dear Val-chan still has all his clothes on!
*whips out the Scepter of Domination**sound of clothes hitting the floor*
Sedalia: ^_^
Xellos: ^_^