Discord

'Hell is for children.' - Pat Benetar

Lei Magnus chivalrously lit the cigarette at the end of Zellas Metallium's slender ebony cigarette holder. As the Greater Beast sat back in her leather chair, resplendent in a diaphanous ivory dress tied Grecian-style around her waist, she noted with tremendous self-satisfaction the way Lei Magnus watched her re-cross her legs. She smiled coyly at him as she exhaled smoke through perfect lips.  

He smiled back at her. "How long until Xellos returns?"

Zellas's smile melted. "You're not bored in my company are you?"

"Of course not. Seeing you is always a pleasure."

"Likewise," she said, smiling again. The tips of her canine-like incisors flashed brilliantly white in the light radiating from the large stone fireplace. "But it won't be long. I don't expect him to have any difficulties getting the thing you want. He's sneaky like that."

"So I've heard."

"Is this part of your plan or Shabranigdo's?"

"Nothing is part of Shabranigdo's plans any longer. That thing's presence was just a minor inconvenience."

'@#$%&*#!'

'Don't be rude, Shabranigdo. Can't you see that I'm trying to carry on a conversation here?'

"I should have known that it wouldn't be a secret to you, Zellas. How long have you known?"

"I knew that you were pulling the strings from the first time I saw you," Zellas said, giving Lei a long, intense look. He was quite an attractive man. He had beautiful long, maroon hair and dark eyes that burned with intelligence. He was tall, handsome, powerful. He was just her type. She silently hoped that Xellos would take his sweet time getting back. "Shabranigdo would have had me eliminated."

"Well, I must admit that I've always had a soft spot for gorgeous blondes."

Their eyes met. The air between them crackled electrically with charisma.

Lei Magnus tore his eyes away from hers.

Zellas sensed the mood die. "Lei, what's wrong? Don't you know how lucky a mere human like you is to have my attention?" she purred.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I am flattered. But . . . there's someone else."

Zellas's eyes narrowed. "You mean her? Well, I suppose I certainly can't compete."

"Pardon me, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," said Xellos, who had appeared out of nowhere. He noted that Beastmaster looked piqued. Apparently she had failed to ensnare her prey.

Lei Magnus rose from his chair. "Do you have it?"

Xellos produced the ancient scroll from the leather bag at his side.

Lei Magnus took it and unrolled it. He skimmed it over and then smiled. This was the real thing. "Thank you both for your cooperation," he said.

"What are you going to do?" asked Zellas.

Lei paused, closed his eyes, turned to smile at Beastmaster and her priest, and said, "Now that is a secret." Then he vanished.

"Smartass," growled Zellas.

"He certainly hasn't changed during the thousand years he spent on ice."

"No, he's still the same conceited jerk he always was."

"May I ask why we just gave him the most powerful magical artifact in the world? Wouldn't it have made more sense to keep it for yourself?"

"Nothing that powerful could possibly be worth the trouble of having," said Zellas.    

Though Dynast Grausherra was reputed to be the most intelligent of the mazoku lords, Zellas had figured out a few things that none of the others had. It's better not to stand in the way of people who tended to always win. Lina Inverse was one such person, and so was Lei Magnus.  

Lina, Zelgadis, Amelia, and Gourry stood at the base of the world's most ancient remaining temple to Valubazard, the fire dragon king. After a long, hard journey fraught with confrontations with bandits and, less frequently, mazoku, they were finally here. Even Zelgadis looked excited. The power of holy dragon magic had been lost to the human race for centuries, but hopefully it was waiting to be found again. He silently prayed to Cepheid or Valubazard or the Lord of Nightmares or Shabranigdo or whoever might be listening that within these ruins was something that could cure him.  

Lina was practically drooling. Ancient temples usually went hand in hand with priceless treasures and magical artifacts of untold power.  

Amelia carefully folded the map and tucked it away in her backpack. As per usual, she was stuck with the job of carrying the group's provisions. She paused to admire the sophisticated architecture of the ziggurat. It really was remarkable that a building this large could survive so intact. The temple was a colossal white pyramid topped with a gold capstone. The path to the entrance was lined with fluted columns and the crumbled remains of what she surmised were carnelian statues of Valubazard similar to the one in Filia's shrine. She found herself wondering if her own city of Seyruun would still be standing two thousand years from now.

'I'm hungry,' thought Gourry.

As Lina bounded up the sloping path to the temple, something hanging above the entranceway caught her eye. It was a gruesome visage, rimmed with horns. It almost looked like an oversized version of that weird talisman that Martina had been fond of flashing around. What the heck was that thing's name . . . . . . Zoamelgustar?  

A bit unsettled, Lina crossed the threshold. She held a light spell before her as she made her way past the gift shop. 

Pause.

Gift shop?

Lina turned to see a grandiose assortment of Zoamelgustar talismans, T-shirts, baseball caps, earrings, plushie dolls, keychains, coffee mugs, pencils, and just about every other kind of miscellaneous novelty junk that could be conceived of.  

"Welcome to the Temple of Zoamelgustar!" beamed Martina from behind the counter.

Lina was aghast. Zelgadis was perturbed. Gourry was hugging a Zoamelgustar plushie. Amelia was in a state of extreme distress. As a shrine maiden, she was familiar with all of the old legends about the four great dragon kings. Valubazard was the most temperamental of the four, and had a penchant for smiting heretics and blasphemers. She dropped to her knees and waited for lightning to strike.

"Martina??? What are you doing here?" Lina spluttered.

The resident high priestess/ cashier jumped over the counter and struck a dramatic pose. "The voice of Zoamelgustar led me to my true calling! So what brings you all here? Do you want to become my acolytes?" she said, eyes sparkling.

"Miss Martina, what on earth possessed you to turn this place into a Zoamelgustar shrine? Don't you know that this was a temple of Valubazard? Amelia cried.

"Valu-who?" Martina blinked in confusion. "What kind of a weird name is that? I've never heard of it before. Well, it's not like anybody was using this place. It was just so perfect!"

"I don't suppose you've found any treasure or spells here, have you?" asked Lina, who had always considered subtlety and tact grossly overrated.

Martina placed a finger pensively on her chin. After a few seconds of pondering she shook her head, curls wagging. "Nope."

Lina and Zelgadis sighed simultaneously.

"So how is Zangulus doing?" Gourry asked, suddenly remembering that Martina had married his old rival.

Martina's aura became a dark cloud of despair. Her eyes teared up, and her lower lip trembled. "I wouldn't know."

"Oh Miss Martina, you and Zangulus seemed like such a perfect couple! What happened?"  

Martina burst into tears. "He left me! He left me for some skank in a black dress!"

Two men bowed before the newly appointed Hellmaster. One wore a long hooded brown cloak. The other looked as if he had stolen his clothes off of a scarecrow.

"You have your orders, now go," she barked down them.

"Yes, Eris-sama," said Zangulus and Vrumugen, almost in chorus. Together they teleported away to the world above.

Hellmaster Eris reclined on her throne. She wasn't quite comfortable in it. Resting her cheek on her fist, she sighed. She had been in a foul mood ever since she had spoken with Lei Magnus earlier. He had made her purpose for her clear. She had relayed his orders to her minions. This was her chance to prove herself worthy of him. She would see to it that he obtained the thing he desired.

She whispered the name. "Lina Inverse." Why did it sound so familiar?  

She felt bitterness swell in her breast. Why did Lei want that girl? She pushed the question from her mind. Such thinking was unacceptable. She wouldn't question him. He was the great demon king of the north, and she lived only to serve him.  

She had to rely on her priest, Vrumugen, and her general, Zangulus. She could have chosen anyone, but their spirits had called out to her. She didn't know why, but it was as if they were already 'hers'.

"Welcome home, Breeze," said Phobos.

Breeze stared wide-eyed across the surrealistic landscape. So this was Hell. The sky glowed crimson, and everything else was painted in slightly varying shades of dark. There was an ambiance in the air, the distant, echoing screams of tortured souls. The ground was rough, ashy, and strewn with chasms that spouted geysers of flame occasionally. There was a huge, menacing fortress with lots of sharp-looking spires on the horizon. She felt sort of a warm, fuzzy feeling. She hadn't known it until now, but she was indeed homesick. There was something about the smell of sulfur in the air and the crunch of ash under her boots that told her that this was where she belonged. Giggling madly, she flopped down and began making an ash angel.

"Quit screwing around. We have a job to do."

Breeze sat up a bit, face-to-face with Phobos's skull kneepad. "What crawled up your butt?" 

She dodged a boot. She could feel him glaring daggers down at her. "How 'bout you save your abuse for the new Hellmaster chick, 'eh?" 

The priest and general of Hellmaster Phibrizzo were becoming quite accustomed to each other's surliness. The two of them stood before a colossal stone archway, inscribed with the words 'Abandon all hope ye who enter here.' Beneath this was a sign that read 'Under new management'.

"Do I need to remind you that we're here for an assassination? This type of operation requires a little subtlety. Now get up."

"Awww, subtlety?" Breeze whined. "That's no fun. Why should I listen to you?"

"Because I'm the general, that's why."

Breeze gave Phobos an obscene version of the standard military salute.

She dodged a boot again.  

"Come on. I'm sick of wasting time. Our home is crawling with humans and I want them out a.s.a.p., got it?"

Breeze sprang to her feet and boxed the air. "Yeah! Bring on the bitches! I'll show 'em what for!"

"Down, girl. First thing's first. I need to get my sword."

"Tch. Pansy."

Glare.

"Some tactical genius you are, forgetting to bring your sword with you!"

"Shut up! I had to escape while I had the chance. I didn't have a whole lot of time to think about . . . . oh shit. . . !"

"What? Did you leave the water running too?"

"No! The guardian beast of Hell. . . I left him locked up in the dungeon!"

"Phobos! You locked up Giga-chan?! And left him there?! How could you?! That's really mean, even for you!"

"Don't look at me like that. It kept chewing up my socks."

Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia bid a lengthy farewell to Martina, wished her the best of luck, and promised to seriously consider converting to Zoamelgustarism before they escaped the temple. They ran out with as much, if not more, enthusiasm as they had had running in.

"Free! Free at last!" shouted Amelia.

"So what now?" said Zelgadis, a paragon of grouchiness.

"Cheer up, Zel. There's got to be more ruins around here somewhere," said Lina, gesturing to the dusky horizon. "We've got a whole uncharted area to explore."

Amelia blanched. She remembered their map of the desert. The desert east of the temple of Valubazard had been largely void of named locales, the space instead filled in by drawings of skeletons clearly meant to indicate 'DO NOT GO HERE! THAT MEANS YOU!!' "But Miss Lina! East is. . ."

"The Desert Of Destruction, yeah I know. Your point is?" said Lina, smiling mischievously.

"Sure it's got a spooky name and all, but I don't see what could be so dangerous about a dessert," said Gourry, innocently envisioning pie and sundaes and cake.

Lina jumped up to hit Gourry on the head. "Not dessert! D-e-s-e-r-t!" she yelled, carefully enunciating.

"Idiots," Zelgadis grumped.

Without warning, a column toppled just in front of them. The startled Slayers looked up to see Vrumugen floating silently in midair. Then Zangulus stepped into view, sword drawn and a malicious look in his eyes.

Lina jumped back and readied a fireball. "You boys still looking for a fight?"

Zangulus tipped his hat to her. "Actually, we're here to send you to Hell."

"In a quite literal sense," amended Vrumugen. "If you cooperate you won't be harmed."

Zangulus looked plaintively up at Vrumugen.

Vrumugen sighed in acquiescence. "Much."

Lina threw her fireball at Vrumugen. It fizzled on impact. Vrumugen glared down at her and nonchalantly brushed ash from his shoulder. "Stop that."

Martina's yelling preceded her emergence from the temple. "What was that noise?! Just what is going on out here?!" Her gaze went from Lina and her friends, to the toppled column, to Zangulus and Vrumugen. Her eyes went from baby blue to burning red with rage. "You!" she hissed.

"Eep," said Zangulus, sweatdropping nervously as Martina stamped towards him.

Vrumugen uttered an incantation. Black ice spread beneath the feet of his intended abductees and then branched upwards to form a cage around them.

Zangulus regained his composure, "Ha ha! You mere humans should have known that you were no match for the likes of us!" he said, strutting in front of them just out of reach of the hands in mismatched gloves reaching through the bars trying to claw, strangle, or otherwise maim him. He turned to stand with his back to them and whispered, "Martina, sweetie, it's not what you think. I'm just doing a favor for an old boss of mine. I'll explain later."

With a hurried gesture Phobos broke the wards sealing his room. He pushed past the door and was relieved to find it in precisely the same state of disarray that he had left it in. He waded through piles of rumpled leather clothing and disregarded books towards the far wall, where his weapon collection was displayed. He kicked aside a rather hefty vivisection manual to stand before it. His gaze drifted lovingly over each member of his arsenal.

First there was the scourge. It was a torturer's weapon, capable of inflicting tremendous amounts of pain without killing. Not really suitable for the task at hand. Killing would be necessary. Tremendous amounts of pain would just be a perk. Then there was the scythe. Impressive, but unwieldy. It was mainly just for show. There was nothing more intimidating than a scythe. Then his eyes rested on the weapon he knew he would use. She was a beautiful red-bladed katana. Her name was Kalare.  

Mazoku swords were very special. Much more than mere weapons, each possess their own unique personality and consciousness, due to the soul sealed inside them. This imbued them with tremendous power, and loyalty to their owner. Only the Hellmaster was capable of making a mazoku sword, the last of which had been made for Dynast's general.  

He took the sword from its wall hangar and tenderly stroked the back edge of the blade. "You're ready for a good fight aren't you, baby?" he crooned softly into the glinting crimson metal. "Did you miss me? . . . Oh what's wrong? Are you jealous because I was looking at the others? Don't be like that. You know you're my favorite. Come on now, you do miss the taste of blood, don't you?"

Phobos sighed as he strapped his sword belt around his hips and slid Kalare into her scabbard, which was black with a red flame embossed down its length. Why did she have to be so damned moody?

Now it was time to get down to business, to do what he had come here to do. He exited into the dark corridor, pausing momentarily as he passed the door to Phibrizzo's room, which bore a sign that read 'KEEP OUT! Trespassers will be horribly mutilated,' in large, childish scrawl.

"I'll do my best to avenge you, Master Phibrizzo. I'll make them pay for betraying your memory," he whispered.   

Breeze stomped grumpily down a dark, dank corridor of the dungeon. She had almost forgotten how creepy this place was. It was like walking through the insides of a giant stone serpent. The walls looked like they should have a pulse. After she and Phobos had snuck in via a secret entrance that led into the catacombs, they bickered for a while about what to do first and then parted ways. He went off to find his sword-chan, leaving her to a godawful boring trek through the dungeon to free the Giga. The task had proven easy enough, considering how loud the thing was howling. As soon as she had unbarred the door and cut through its chain with her sickle, it had run off like the proverbial bat out of hell. Stupid ungrateful crapmuncher.

Why did all of these freaking tunnels have to look exactly the same? Breeze was getting more and more agitated with each passing microsecond. Phobos was going to hog all the action for himself; she just knew it. After pondering the matter, she had come to the conclusion that her obligations as the priestess of Hellmaster Phibrizzo had a lot to do with keeping his sadistic nutboy of a general from getting himself killed doing something stupid and/or insane. Phobos seemed to be determined to make her job difficult for her.

The sound of nearby voices made Breeze break from her ruminations. She flattened herself against the rough wall and peeked around the bend to see a guy in a brown cloak ushering a group of weird-looking prisoners into a cell. There was a short black-haired girl in white who was fussing about being given due process or something, a guy with a funky skin condition also in white, a confused-looking blonde guy in blue, a loud redhead in pink, and a green-haired girl with fashion sense only Phobos would admire.

The cloaked guy wasn't familiar. He had to be one of the new Hellmaster's toadies. Breeze grinned. 'Goody.'

Just as the door of their cell was screeching shut the Slayers were jolted by a deafening explosion. After her ears stopped ringing, Lina cautiously poked her head through the warped, smoking metal bars. There was a Vrumugen-shaped smudge of ash on the wall at the end of the corridor. In the other direction was a saucer-eyed, ponytailed little girl.

The little girl smiled cutely and waved. "Hi there!" she called out amiably.

"Umm, hi. Would you mind telling me what just happened?" said Lina.

The girl beamed proudly. "Hee hee. I fried him good!" She hooked the black sickle she was carrying around one of the bars and tugged back the door. "You guys gonna come out of there or what?"

When they were out of their cell, Gourry thanked her nicely. Lina and Zelgadis immediately started back on the path out. Martina stood over her imperiously. "Where can I find Zangulus and this Eris person?"

"Heh heh. I hope they're not friends of yours. Phobos-kun is gonna play with them and he's gonna kill them, and not necessarily in that order."

Lei Magnus paced back and forth, hands clasped behind his back. He stared intently at his reflection in the floor tiles. Everything in his tower sparkled with newness due to his powerful restoration spell.  

He went to one of the high, arched windows. The landscape was a bit different than he remembered it. His hometown wasn't there anymore.

Time passes. Things fall apart.  

The most powerful human sorcerer to have ever lived, he had the distinction of being a legend in his own time. He had embraced and exploited the darkness inside him in order to achieve his dream of immortality. He had seen the rise and fall of kings, demons, gods.  

What for? What was the meaning of it all?  

He came to the natural conclusion that the entire purpose of the world was to produce him, Lei Magnus. The answer was as obvious to him as it was appealing.

Lei frowned. This was taking too long. Eris should have contacted him by now. Would she fail him? Could there have been complications? He felt another migraine coming on.

It's not that he didn't have faith in Eris. He had seen her through his mental connection with Rezo the Red Priest, a fellow bearer of Shabranigdo. Her relentless passion had greatly impressed him, that and her legs.

Now that he had Lucifer's scroll, there was only one more thing that he needed before he could progress with his plan. And it was Eris's job to take her into custody.  

When Zangulus went into the throneroom to report his success in capturing Lina Inverse and her cadre to the Hellmaster, he found a strange young man with striped hair sitting in her throne in the manner of one who was quite accustomed to doing so.

Zangulus drew his sword. "Who are you? Where's Eris?"

The boy laughed. He turned to look at him with eyes like pools of blood. "Hello there. My name is Phobos, and you're too late to save that usurping woman, I'm afraid. If I'd only known she was this weak I wouldn't have waited so long. She wasn't very much fun at all. I'll show you where she is." He waved his hand. 

When Zangulus got his bearings he realized he was now in the courtyard. The scenery focused into one of the most gruesome displays he had ever seen. He felt nauseous.

"Lovely, don't you think? It's been ever so long since I've crucified anyone," the boy said silkily.

"Eris-sama!" Zangulus shouted as he ran to her side.

Eris drew in a rough, gasping breath. "Zangulus, is that you?" she said in a small, hoarse voice.

"Don't talk, Eris! You've got to hang on."

"No, Zangulus. It's all right. I think . . . it's better this way. I remember now, about everything . . . . and I know now that Lei isn't . . . isn't . . . who I was really in love with. So it doesn't matter if I die, because I'll be with him . . . . . . ."

"You've always been a real fool, you know?"

Eris smiled a weak, wry smile. "I know." And then she said nothing more.

Zangulus shuddered and turned back to her executioner. "Why?"

"WHY?! She had no right to be here and neither do you!" the boy screamed, drawing his sword.

Zangulus put up his hands and stepped back. "Look," he said, " we don't have to fight each other, do we? Why don't you just let me go . . ." 

"I'm afraid that's just not going to happen," said Phobos, smiling. He looked really creepy when he smiled. It was what happened to his eyes. They got really big and you could see the whites all the way around the irises.  

Zangulus decided that killing the giddy little maniac was the least he could do for poor Eris. He tightened his grip on the Demonic Howling Sword. "Have it your way, then."

Breeze located Phobos's astral energy outside in the courtyard, and when she got there she found that he had done some decorating. Apparently he must have thought that the lady Hellmaster would make a nice lawn ornament. The clash of swords caught her attention. She saw Phobos fighting with a guy in a funny hat, and he wasn't having an easy time. It took her a while to decide whether to help out or to sit back and watch Phobos get his ass handed to him.

Zangulus had no time to react to the black beam of energy that came from somewhere out of his peripheral vision. It shot across his sword arm, nearly severing it. He cried out in pain and stumbled to his knees.

Phobos paused. He was miffed. This was his fight, dammit. He turned in the direction of the source of the attack, and saw a little black butterfly with jagged-edged wings flitting about. "Breeze, get out of here. He's mine!" he snapped.

"Tch," went the little butterfly. She teleported to a nearby rooftop with a nice view, where she resumed her kawaii girl form.

Phobos turned his attention back to his handicapped opponent. He advanced towards Zangulus, Kalare poised for the kill. He found his path suddenly blocked by an angry human girl with pale green hair and a really cute outfit.

"Hold it right there!" she yelled, as she shoved a bizarre talisman in his face. "You leave him alone or else feel the wrath of the great Zoamelgustar!"

Phobos blinked, as taken aback as a cat might be if it found itself assailed by a mouse. "Eh?"

"Come on Zoamelgustar!" said Martina, shaking her talisman. "Let's see some wrath. . . anytime now . . .!!"

Phobos snickered. "Is this some kind of joke? Out of my way or . . ."

Martina gave up on divine intervention and just hit Phobos as hard as she could.

His head spun from the force of the slap across his cheek. When he slowly turned to face Martina again, his mouth was twisted into a leering grin and black blood was streaming from his nose. "Is that how you want to play, is it?" Then he pounced.

Martina's eyes registered only a brief flash of motion, and then she was doubled over in excruciating pain. She felt herself hit the ground, and then being picked up again.

Breeze appeared at Phobos's side as he was brushing his hands together in a very self-satisfied manner. There were two more people up on crosses now. Guy with funny hat and girl with weird outfit.

"Hey Phobos, are you all right? Your nose is bleeding."

"Uh, I'm fine. Did Giga-chan give you any trouble?"

"Nah. He just ran off somewhere."

"Don't worry about him. He was probably just hungry."

Breeze kicked Phobos's leg.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You ditched me so you could fight Eris all by yourself! It's not fair!"

"I didn't want you to get hurt."

". . . . What? Why?!" Breeze wasn't sure whether she wanted to hug him or kick him again. Did he really care if she got hurt? Did he just think she was weak?

"I remember watching you die a long time ago and I don't want to do it again. I'd be sad if you died," he said quietly.

Breeze wasn't sure how to respond. "Is it over now Phobos?"

"I doubt it. Somebody's liable to be pissed that I killed Eris."

"Miss Lina, I don't think we should leave without Miss Martina!"

"Screw Martina! We've got to get out of here. Her marital problems are no concern of ours!"

"Where are we again?"

"Shut up Gourry!"

"I think the portal was just outside this gate up ahead."

As they drew closer to their destination, they saw a strange creature lying sphinxlike before them. It looked like something of a cross between a bull and a dragon. It had a stubby snout with two enormous teeth that curved down past its jaw. It had two long horns above its eyes that were clearly designed for goring. Its hide was plated with thick, metallic scales. Each of its paws bore long talons. Behind it a spiked tail flicked back and forth. Its long, forked tongue was hanging from the side of its mouth, giving it a rather comical expression.

"Hey there puppy!" Gourry said, reaching to pet it.

Lina wrenched his arm back. "Gourry, keep back! That thing is a . . . a . . .I don't know what it is but its dangerous!"

"It's a giga," said a cheery little girl's voice from somewhere overhead. Levitating nearby was Breeze.

"That can't be! They don't exist!" Zelgadis said in disbelief.

"Poor Giga-chan is the last of his kind. He lives here and makes sure nobody tries to escape."

"I think he wants to play."

"Shut up Gourry!"

"Giga-chan would love to play with you. Most people aren't very good sports about it."

Lina glared up at the little girl. There was, in theory, only one way to get past a giga. If only they had waited for Martina. It couldn't very well fight all of them while eating someone. Well. . . there was still Amelia. No, that wouldn't work. It could probably swallow her without stopping to chew. Oh well. She gritted her teeth. "Darkness beyond blackest pitch, deeper than. . ."

'What? She actually knows it?! She knows the Giga Slave?' thought Breeze. 'That could make things interesting.'

The giga stood up and roared. It lowered it's horns, pawed the ground, and then charged at Lina.

Then it skidded to a halt and let out a confused yelp as it found its target lifted into the air by a powerful Diem Wing bubble.

Lina found herself in the air along with Zelgadis, Gourry, and Amelia. She looked down to see a strange man standing in below her. He was tall, had long hair, held an ornate staff, and wore a white robe with huge shoulderguards. He looked up at her and smiled. "Sorry that things got out of hand here. I'll send you away from this place. You can shower me with gratitude later. Oh, and take these two with you," He snapped his fingers, and Zangulus and Martina appeared in a crumpled pile in the bubble with them.

"Hey!" yelled Breeze.

Lei Magnus looked up briefly. Who was that kid? He'd deal with her soon enough, regardless. He pointed his staff at the portal to the world of the living, and it swelled open. With a wave of hand he sent Lina and her companions through. The portal closed behind them. He heard the giga growling at him. He glared at it, and it crawled back to its post with its tail between its legs. Then he turned his glare to the little girl. They eyed each other suspiciously.

He wracked his memory for mazoku who tended to take the form of children. When he failed to recall any except for Phibrizzo, he resorted to his astral sight. A butterfly? That was . . . . oh shit. It had to be the Lord of Havoc, Phibrizzo's priest during the Kouma War, who was known to raze entire countries out of sheer boredom. But that was impossible. The priest and the general had died, he was sure of it. Then he remembered that Phibrizzo tended to recycle his minions rather than resurrect them. And if they were alive again then that explained why Eris hadn't contacted him. They wouldn't have let her have Phibrizzo's throne. Poor thing.

"Where is the Lord of Pain?" Lei asked. Surely if the priest was here, so was the general. That was one mazoku that he could remember quite clearly. He remembered a rumor from long ago that an entire army of dragons had fled in terror at the mere sight of her astral body. Her corporeal form, he recalled, was much more pleasant to behold. A devastatingly beautiful young lady with wicked red eyes and a fondness for leather.

Breeze snickered. "The Lord of Pain," she said with facetious emphasis, "is probably over there still." She pointed in the direction of the courtyard. The crosses made an ominous silhouette against the red sky. "If I were you I would leave. He's probably going to be looking for somebody else to nail up."

Lei Magnus blinked. "He?"

Lei's worries about Eris were realized when he transported himself into the courtyard of Phibrizzo's fortress. Poor thing. Her death must have been excruciating. Leaning nonchalantly against her cross was someone he almost recognized. "Phobia?"

"It's Phobos now, but yes. The one and only," he said, bowing his head. "Long time no see, Lei-kun." He hoped his voice wasn't shaking. Charybdis's last words to him before they parted ways echoed now in the back of his mind. 'Beware Lei Magnus, beloved of the Golden Lord.'

"Am I correct in assuming that you're responsible for this?" Lei said, gesturing towards Eris.

Phobos nodded and smiled his defiance. "And what of it?"

"I needed her."

Phobos snickered. "I'll bet you did. You know, it really makes me sick to think that after all Phibrizzo did for you during the Kouma War you would actually let this woman take his place."

"Shabranigdo appointed her on my suggestion. You'd be wise to stay out of my affairs."

"The other lords might still be your bitches, but don't you dare think that we're all aching to please you. I'm not your toy anymore. Phibrizzo brought me back for a purpose and it's got nothing to do with you."

"Consider this your final warning. Don't cross me."

Phobos laughed. "Don't cross me, he says. That's funny, it really is. After you disgrace Phibrizzo by appointing a human in his place. I should kill you," he said as he drew his sword.

He was bluffing. He had to be. Lei stood his ground. "You know you can't kill me. You'd destroy the piece of Shabranigdo I carry."

The look that spread on Phobos's face was extremely disturbing. "If Shabranigdo allowed himself to be subjugated by a piece of shit like you then I think I'd be doing him a favor!"

Lei Magnus barely had time to block with his staff when Phobos attacked him. The force of the blow sent him staggering backwards. He cast a shield on himself and braced for another attack, but it didn't come. He saw Phobos on his knees, staring in shock at the broken blade of his sword. Lei seized the opportunity to take the offensive, and hit him with a massive astral attack. He didn't even try to dodge it.

Lei felt something hit the back of his head. He looked back over his shoulder and saw the little blonde girl from before. She was winding her arm to throw another rock at him. "Stop hurting Phobos!" she yelled. "You're going to kill him!"

"Well, that is the idea."

"You motherf***ing asshole! This is bullshit! He died for you!"

Lei stopped. He turned to face the little girl. "What's your name now?"

"Breeze."

"Breeze, I'm going to count on you to make sure that Phobos stays out of my business. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Don't patronize me, dickhead. How would you like to wear your own guts for a belt?"

"You're such a charming little girl. Don't forget, I'm counting on you."

When Lei vanished Breeze ran to Phobos. He was lying on his side, clutching his sword to his chest. The blade of it was broken. She prodded him experimentally with her boot. "Phobos?"

He didn't move. He must have been really weak still from fighting with the Hellmaster lady and those other people, and Lei's spell had really done some damage. "Don't worry, Phobos-onisama, you're going to be okay," she whispered.

Lina's head felt fuzzy, like it was stuffed with cotton. She was vaguely aware that she seemed to be lying in sand. She blinked several times to clear her blurred vision. Something was casting a shadow over her. It was a man. Maybe Gourry? No, it wasn't anyone she knew. She felt something brush softly against her cheek.

"Soon Lina, I'll see you again very soon," said the stranger. The voice she recognized. It was the same voice that had said 'you can shower me with gratitude later' or something like that. She couldn't remember exactly.

Lei Magnus stood up, brushed sand from robes, and turned to Xellos. "They'll all recover soon. I'll need you to keep an eye on them until I come for her again."

"Yes sir."

"Oh, and Xellos, why does she have my talismans?"

Xellos grimaced. "Well, it's a long story sir."

"Never mind then. I suppose it's all right if she keeps them for a little while longer."

"Sir, may I inquire as to who was responsible for slaying Hellmaster Eris?"

"A couple of Phibrizzo's old minions. Nothing to be concerned about."

"He brought them back, didn't he?"

"I said it's nothing to be concerned about. If I can't control them I'll just have to enlist the aid of one who can."

"You don't mean. . ."

Lei nodded.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm not afraid of Phibrizzo."

This was clearly a lie. Everyone was afraid of Phibrizzo.

Phobos's eyes snapped open. He sat up abruptly and howled in pain.

"Sorry, I think I had the healing spell in reverse."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Don't give me any ideas."

"Owwwww!"

"I think I'm starting to get the hang of this magic stuff."

"I think you need a bit more practice, and not on me."

Breeze helped Phobos up to his feet. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said. ". . . . thanks."

"Uh. . . Phobos. . ."

"What?"

"Look up."

Looming before their eyes was an enormous black shape with jagged white edges that was quite familiar to them. The astral energy contracted and then manifested itself as a small boy dressed all in blue with feathery black hair and big green-gold eyes.

"Master Phibrizzo!" Phobos and Breeze cried in chorus.

Phibrizzo was nearly knocked onto his butt when they glomped him.

"Urk. Shouldn't you two be groveling or something?"

"Oops, sorry."

"Please forgive us, Master Phibrizzo."

Phibrizzo's priest and general quickly assumed more deferential poses.

"Master Phibrizzo, how is it that you've returned?"

"Yeah, I heard that L-sama unleashed her almighty god-bitch wrath on your ass."

Phibrizzo glared at Breeze. "Shut up! That is not going to be mentioned ever again. And in regards to your question, Phobos, I was recalled by Lei Magnus."

"What? Recalled from where?"

"I really don't know. I don't remember anything."

Phobos ground his teeth. He had a pretty good guess as to where Phibrizzo had been imprisoned, and how Lei Magnus had summoned him. He had to have the scroll. Xellos must have stolen it on his behalf.

"Anyway, what did I miss?" said Phibrizzo, pointing over at Eris's cross.

Phibrizzo listened as Phobos and Breeze recounted their escapades to him. Then he sent Breeze off to polish the soul orbs and made Phobos give him a piggyback ride.

After nearly five laps around the citadel, Phobos retired to his room. He was completely exhausted. Mazoku didn't need sleep as humans do, but it was necessary to recharge their energy periodically, especially after injury. Phobos kicked off his boots and shrugged off his jacket as he stumbled across his room and into bed. He lay the broken remains of Kalare on the pillow beside him. She was a good sword. Phibrizzo could make him another, but it wouldn't be the same. He reached over to the nightstand and after a bit of groping found a pen and The List. He held the pen in his teeth as he unfolded it. He then crossed off the second name on it - Eris. With heavy, slashing strokes he added another name to it - Lei Magnus. Then he shoved The List aside and fell asleep almost immediately. Then the nightmares started.