Disclaimer: All concepts and characters belong to L.J. Smith. They are used here for non-profit entertainment. Yeah right, like anyone would believe me if I said they were mine

Rating: R (Language, adult content)

Spoilers: Daughters of Darkness, The Chosen, my previous fan fiction.

Dedication: For 'Trick, who never fails me when it comes to making up.

Ashes and Embers

Part 1/4

Ash reached for Mary-Lynnette’s hands and felt her forehead come to rest on his shoulder. "I hate this part," she said, and he nodded.

"Me, too."

The day was thick with end-of-winter scents, a sour autumn wind and the dankness of drying leaves, and the airport’s doors invited a warmth and shelter Ash was both dreading and eager to reach. Inside was gate 32. Beyond gate 32 was flight 1109. Flight 1109 would be taking him back to New Mexico.

"It doesn’t have to be like this," he said hesitantly. Mary-Lynnette sighed and he rushed on, "I mean, high school’s over, and you’ve got six months until college, right? You could...."

She lifted her head and he saw that look on her face, the one he hated. "Come hang out with me for a while...." Ash finished lamely.

"You know I can’t," she said gently, and he felt a spark of anger in his chest.

"No, I don’t know. You won’t tell me-"

She put her finger over his lips and he fell silent. He opened his mouth and she let him suck on her nail for a moment. Her pulse pounded against his tongue like the tide rolling in, and he knew that if he didn’t end this now, he was going to miss his flight. And then she’d be really pissed.

"I guess I should get inside," he said.

She nodded and put her arms around him. "Don’t be mad at me, okay?"

He closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck, in her scent, pressing his lips against her collarbone until he could feel that gentle throb again. Reassurance, that, that she was still here.

"I’ll try," he promised. His voice dropped to a bare whisper. "I love you."

Was that a tear dripping onto his temple? "I love you, too," she said quietly. "Take care."

Ash straightened and flashed his best smile–the one that didn’t show fangs but still looked really, really happy. "Of myself and everyone else," he promised, but she still looked sad. She’d looked sad all week, and no matter how his sisters had tried to make it off as nothing, Ash knew their problems had escalated in his absence.

"Bye," he said, walking backwards toward the airport door. Mary-Lynnette nodded, forcing a smile, and Ash decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to kiss her goodbye.

The flight took a long time, much longer than the four hours the piolet had promised. It didn’t help matters that Ash’s watch was running slow, and so was the lady’s sitting across the isle.

Either that or he was just upset.

He’d looked forward to that visit for months, three days with his sisters and Mary-Lynnette. Three days to hold her and remind her that he loved her, and convince her that everything had changed inside him. Three days to a fresh start.

He’d honestly believed she would come back to Cross Bien with him at the end of the week. The seat next to him was empty because he’d bought her a plane ticket. And the damn thing hadn’t been cheap, either.

He picked up the Airfone, entered his credit card number, and dialed. An overly pert voice answered. "Hello, Soda Baker’s Slaughter House. This is Melissa, how may I direct your call?"

"Hey, Jez, it’s Ash. I see you’re still breaking the rules."

"Not breaking, just bending."

"I’m sure. Is Quinn around?"

"Hold on, let me see." There was a muffled shout, "Morgy, go get Quinn. Tell him he’s got a phone call."

"God dammit, Jez, I’ve told you not to call me that!"

"Shut up, go get him. This is a long distance call."

Glad to see I’m not the only one having trouble in paradise, Ash thought. Jez and Morgead were living together inside the compound that protected the Wild Powers, alternately basking in ethereal bliss and bickering like Jade and Kestrel. Well, at least Morgead got to see his soulmate more than twice a year. At least Jez was up-front when she was angry and scared and horrified-

"Quinn here."

"Hey, guess who?"

"Santa?" The sarcasm was as thick as chocolate syrup.

"Yeah," Ash told him good-naturedly, "I’ll be delivering that wooden stake to your heart in just a few days." Beating up on Quinn always made him feel better.

Quinn sighed loudly. "Where are you?"

"In the air."

"What time are you getting back?"

"I’ve got a connection to grab in Minnesota at eight-thirty, and it’s like three hours from there, so figure midnight."

"I’ll send the car."

"Thanks. I just called to see if anything was going on that I should know about."

"Yeah, your license to carry a high-powered ego ran out. Hell, Ash, you think you’re gone for three days and the whole compound falls apart?"

"They say Atlas shrugged, too."

"You little prick," Quinn said, but he was laughing. "Is your better half on her way down?"

Ash tried to sound like nothing was wrong. "No, she’s got some stuff to do. Next time."

"Next time," Quinn repeated. "Sure. Here, Tern wants to talk."

The phone was passed around with thudding sounds, and Tern came on the line. "Hi," he greeted, but sounded vaguely distracted. Not unusual for someone living with at least a fourteen track mind.

"Hi. I just called to tell Quinn what time to send the car."

"Mary isn’t coming?"

"No."

When Ash didn’t go on, Tern said, "You want to tell me about it when you get here?"

"Yeah, that would be better."

"Okay. I just thought you’d like to know that you’ve got an assignment from the new council."

"Besides wandering around the forest looking for spies that don’t exist? Oh goody, have I been promoted to garbage man?"

"Actually, no. We’ve got a problem with the Gift of Life."

Ash felt all the air slip out of his lungs. "You aren’t serious."

"Of course I am."

"Well? Come on, who is he?"

"She. Her name is Cristona Patterson. She’s about four feet tall, looks like flower child, and she’s Deaf. She also happens to be dying of some kind of brain thing."

"No wicked way."

"Don’t expect a reply to that. She’s very tight with Thierry, but apparently her body guard didn’t let him know she was sick until a few days ago. If she dies...well, it won’t be pretty."

"No, it won’t. Are the witches going to help her or what?"

"They’re with her now, but it doesn’t look good. Maybe if Grandma Harman was around....Never mind. We’ll wait and hope for the best."

Ash was quiet a moment. "Wow," he said finally. "And I thought I had problems before."

"You should be glad you got the week off. Quinn’s been on edge since we heard."

"Quinn’s been acting bitchy for months now."

"This is worse."

"Oh."

They said their goodbyes and Ash hung up, leaning back in his seat. Naturally, Quinn was worried. If the Patterson girl died, he’d be feeling his true age in a matter of minutes. One moment he was young, muscled, cold Quinn, the next he was a rotting pile of bones with cheesecloth for skin and oatmeal for brains.

Speaking of which, Ash’s own life expectancy might be considerably shortened.

And I bet Mary still wouldn’t care, he thought bitterly.

His bad mood had returned full force and then some by the time he got off the plane, not helped by the turbulence they’d ridden through on the way down. Water was pouring against the airport windows so quickly the drops didn’t even have time to form rivulets before being washed away.

The atmosphere was somber, everyone huddled under the electric lights as if afraid of the blue shadows that crept in the corners. Ash felt at home here, the storm fit his mood, and watching the human boys cringe at the lightening lessened his anger. The airport was tiny, with only seven gates, and Ash found himself in the one gift shop examining junky gifts and shot glasses with "Blue Ridge Minnesota, Home of the Blue Monkeys," written on them.

His flight wouldn’t be boarding for another half hour, and since the gate was about fifty feet from the gift shop–actually, it was about fifty feet from everything–he had time to kill. Then the announcement came over a crackling intercom.

"Good evening. I’m sorry to inform you that due to weather concerns, all flights will be grounded for the remainder of the night. We’re sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, our travel agency will be available at the front desk to help you find accommodations for the night, should you so desire. Once again, we’re sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for flying through Blue Ridge Airport."

"Bloody duck on a hot plate," Ash hissed under his breath. "I don’t fucking believe this."

His hand clenched around his duffle bag so hard the plastic handle cracked. He stormed over to a phone booth, snatched up the receiver, and crammed a couple dollars worth of change through the slot. Then he pounded the compound’s number.

"Hello, Whips Incorporated, House of Sadism. This is Mistress Katya-"

"This is Ash, give me Quinn. Hurry up."

"Sorry," Jez grumbled, and a moment later Quinn came on.

"What now?"

"I’m going to be late."

"They checked the thermos, huh? I told you no one would believe it was tomato juice."

"Shut up. All flights are grounded because of a storm. I probably won’t get in until tomorrow morning. I’ll call you from the airport."

He hung up without saying good bye. Releasing a long breath, he let his head roll forward against the pay phone. He’d just wanted to go home and think this through. Seeing Mary-Lynnette–so close and yet so far away–had exhausted him.

He walked toward the car rental desk.

The bed and breakfast was a little too Victorian for Ash’s taste; everything was made of wood. And lace, which presented no supernatural danger but was damn delicate. He tore a curtain just trying to close it.

He tossed his duffle bag on the floor, lay back on the bed, and closed his eyes. A tv was playing in the next room, some stupid sitcom he guessed, from the sound of the laugh track. Rain continued to pour from the sky, making a furry sound like an air-conditioner on full blast as it ran down the clap-board sides of the building.

Christ, none of this was right. Mary-Lynnette was supposed to be with him right now, pointing out stars or falling asleep with her head on his shoulder or making that blasted sitcom seem funny. "I live in a world of darkness and she is my light," Ash heard himself murmur, and then broke out in a bark of a laugh.

"Listen to me, I sound like a soap opera character." He sat up and ran his hands through his hair. "I’m so damn pathetic right now."

The sitcom went to commercial in the next room, and the rain continued to drone outside. This wasn’t working, he didn’t feel any better, just light-headed from sitting up so quickly. He needed to feed, needed to hunt or do a cross-word puzzle or anything that would occupy his mind until he was tired enough to fall asleep, which, judging from the hours he’d kept with his sisters these past few days, wouldn’t be for a while yet at the earliest.

There was a restaurant in the lobby downstairs, he recalled. It wasn’t hunting, but he had no intention of going out in rain like this. Too easy to loose the scent of his trail, and he wasn’t familiar enough with the area to be sure he’d make it back. No, he’d just go downstairs and order an under-cooked steak and try to pass the time. Maybe he’d find a nice drunk to feed off of. Maybe then he’d pass out and stop thinking of her.

Part 2/4

Of course, before Mary-Lynnette, he wouldn’t have cared if he beat up some strange vermin in a land far away. Before her, he wouldn’t have thought twice about skipping out on the bill, too.

He stared down into his glass of water, which he hadn’t been able to bring himself to touch, and watched his reflection waver across the surface. I’m not even myself anymore, he thought. I’m her creation and she’s dumping me.

He was fairly sure it was the vampire thing. Living so close to his sisters probably hadn’t helped her comfort level concerning the undead. Sure, she’d refused to say it, but Kestrel hadn’t, and Rowan had dropped gentle hints. "She just needs more time, Ash, that’s all."

"She doesn’t need time," Ash had snapped. "She needs a soulmate she can kiss without worrying about fangs."

And the fact that Mary-Lynnette had paneled her bedroom walls with cedar wasn’t a great sign, either.

A wave of disgust washed over him. He’d bowed down to her, changed for her–it was really disgusting when you thought about it. He hadn’t killed anybody in so long he could barely remember the feeling of it.

That thought brought a new wave, but this time it came like a sickness in his stomach. He didn’t want to kill anyone, even if Mary-Lynnette wouldn’t mind. It was...wrong? It brought up all sorts of arguments he’d had with the all-holy Tern, those late-night debates over the sanctity of life that he’d eventually lost.

You can’t do this to me, Mary, he thought. You can’t show up, destroy my life, and then leave me alone. That’s not the fairness you’ve always preached.

He paid the bill and went to a phone in the hallway. Phones seemed to be his lot for today, at least this one didn’t request money. He contemplated, sighed, and dialed.

The phone rang nine times before someone answered it. "Hello?" a foggy voice said incredulously.

"Mark?"

"Who is this?"

"Ash. I need to talk to your sister."

"It’s like two in the morning here. She’s sleeping. Call back tomorrow."

"No, I need to talk to her now. Go wake her up."

"Ash...it’s just not a good idea, okay?"

"I’ve had a really hard night, all right? I just need to talk to her for a couple of minutes."

Mark was silent a moment. "Come on, man. I mean...you know she doesn’t want to talk to you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Go wake her up, Mark, now."

"Look, Ash, it’s over. Okay? I thought she made that pretty clear to you. She’s just....let it go, man."

There was a sudden click Ash couldn’t believe he was hearing. He waited until he heard the dial tone before admitting that Mark had actually hung up on him. The receiver fell out of his hand, back into its cradle.

She dumped me, Ash thought dimly. She dumped me over the phone through her brother. He couldn’t believe it.

She’s not going to be complete without me. She knows that. She knows it and finds me repulsive enough that she’s willing to live with it.

He’d never felt so alone. Or ashamed.

The old Ash wouldn’t have let this bother him. But it bothered the new one. A lot.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned just as a weight tumbled into him. His shoulder slammed into the floor and the sound of cloth ripping in his ears was loud. He opened his eyes and found a girl slumped on top of him. Her eyes were half open as if she had been stunned by the impact.

Ash waited for her to get up, and when she didn’t, realized that she was on the verge of passing out. "Are you okay?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably. It had been a long time since he’d had a female body this close to him.

She made a soft, breathy sound and rolled off him onto the floor. She was wearing coco brown slacks and a light tan blouse that showed her shoulders to good advantage. "I...eh."

Ash sat up slowly. "Do you need some help?"

Her eyes opened, an interesting cross between blue and copper, but human. "Yeah, that would be nice," she managed to say, and the words were only slightly slurred.

Ash climbed to his feet and helped her up. "Why don’t I walk you to your room and you can sleep it off?"

"No." She shook her head, blinked a few times. "I’m diabetic, my sugar is really low. I need to go to a hospital."

"Oh." She was still leaning on him, looking woozy and pale. "Here, sit down and I’ll call an ambulance."

"Thanks. Tell them it’s important, but not critical. Yet."

"All right. Do you need to eat something?"

"Orange juice with sugar would help. And some peanut butter."

He walked quickly back into the restaurant, grabbed a waitress, and told her to call the hospital. Then he strode behind into the kitchen and grabbed the food items.

The girl was sitting in a chair in the lobby, slightly hunched over. "Here," he said, setting a five-gallon tub of peanut butter at her feet.

She opened her eyes. "That might be a little more than I need," she told him, and her mouth turned up in a tiny smile.

"Here’s the orange juice. I brought about twenty sugar packets, how many should I dump in?"

She shook her head and took the packets from him. Then she ripped about a dozen of them in half and upended them over her mouth. Ash had to help her hold the pitcher of juice, which she gulped down as fast as she could.

"Feel any better?" he asked.

"Not yet. Sorry I ran into you. I’m not feeling too great right now."

"No, I understand."

"Sir," a waitress said, touching his arm. "I called the hospital, and they’re sending an ambulance, but with this rain they think it will take between half an hour and forty-five minutes to get here."

The girl groaned and lay her head against her knees. Ash thought and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, why don’t I just drive you there? It will still take a while, but it’ll be quicker than waiting for an ambulance."

She sat up, wincing, and sighed. "I’m sorry, I don’t want to put you out. I might just even out if I eat enough, but..."

"No, don’t worry about it. You wait here, I’ll go get my car. Miss," he turned to the waitress, "can you write out directions to the hospital?"

He looked back at the girl. "By the way, what’s your name?"

"Nina Rosette." He liked the way she pronounced it, Nina with a long i and Rosette with a slight accent.

"Nice to meet you, Nina. I’m Ash Redfern."

She asked him to get a bag out of her room, and a few minutes later they were in his rental car, a Nissan Maxima. The five-gallons of peanut butter sat on the floor between Nina’s feet, and the orange juice was held in three travel cups lined up on the dashboard. "Thanks for doing this," Nina said. "Really, it’s sweet of you."

"No problem. My best friend is diabetic, I’ve driven him to the hospital dozens of times." Well, that wasn’t quite true, but he thought hunting down rabbits for Tern when he’d forgotten to feed and was too weak to hunt was close enough.

Nina nodded. "I’ve been keeping it under check so well through my whole vacation, I don’t know why this had to happen now."

"You’re on vacation?"

She waited until she’d finished swallowing another mouth-ful of peanut butter to answer. "Not any more. I was supposed to be going home today, but my flight gone canceled because of the storm."

"Yeah, so did mine."

"Rachel, New Mexico?"

"Same flight. But from there I have to drive to Cross Bien."

"Oh. I live in Rachel. I’m going to RU."

"Wow. I thought that place was almost impossible to get into."

"Yeah, I had to go through four interviews."

"You must be awfully smart."

Nina looked down at her hands and busied herself with some orange juice. "I’m okay," she told him, and he couldn’t help smiling. Modesty was so cute.

"What are you studying?"

"Criminal psychology and graphology."

"Don’t go for the easy majors, do you?"

She looked like she was going to answer and couldn’t do it. Instead she lay her head against the window and closed her eyes.

"You okay?" Ash asked. "Have some more juice."

"If I drink too much, I might throw myself in the other direction. I’d rather not go into a coma."

The rain was, if possible, getting worse. Lightening shattered the gray sky every few seconds, and thunder made the car vibrate. The road was twisty, lightless, and slick. Ash had to use every bit of his better-than human reflexes just to keep them on the road. He seriously doubted that the ambulance would have made it.

"Where are you on your way home from?" Nina asked, rolling her head to see him.

"I was visiting my sisters in Oregon."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Not really. My sisters and I don’t get along, and..."

"And?"

"My girlfriend lives there. She dumped me."

"Oh. Sorry." Nina ate another packet of sugar. "The last three guys I went out with broke it off when they found out I was sick. Or that I got sick occasionally. I can’t really blame them, insulin never works on me the way it’s supposed to. I end up in the hospital at least every other month."

"It must be scary."

"They sure seem to think so."

Ash frowned. "No, I meant scary for you. Always knowing that you might get put upon because some jerk can’t handle it."

"Yeah, part of me wants to get mad at them, but hey, they don’t owe me anything."

Something dark washed through his brain. "That’s what love is. Acceptance."

Nina glanced at him speculatively and he realized he’d given something away. Most girls wouldn’t have heard that tremor in his voice.

He was so startled he almost didn’t see the tree in the road. His foot came down hard on the break and the Nissan hydroplaned, skimming across the surface of the asphalt like a duck trying to ice skate. The back end crashed into something and Ash heard the horrible scream of metal torn like paper. The lid on a cup of orange juice flew off and he felt cold liquid wash over his face as the car reeled backwards.

"Oh, god," Nina whispered, one hand closing around the oh-shit bar above her head.

"Hold on," Ash told her. He could hear plants bending under the car as it slid backward down a hill. Finally it thumped hard, the back windshield shattered in a symphony of crystal tinkles, and the car stopped moving.

Nina was breathing fast, and the last bits of color had drained out of her face. Even her lips were white. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Ash nodded slowly, checking himself over for broken bones. His eyes lit on the rear-view mirror, which showed a tree branch that had burst into the car just behind his seat. A foot further and it would have gone through his head.

"Well," he said shakily, his hands trembling as he tried to turn off the car, "I’m glad I payed the extra twenty bucks for insurance."

The headlights were still on, and he decided that the extra light wasn’t worth taking a chance on having the gas tank catch fire. Nina touched his arm gently and he looked at her. "What now?" she asked.

He had no idea.

Part 3/4

He wasn’t sure who he was addressing, but it sure felt good to scream like that.

The car was a few feet away, Nina leaning against the door looking unimpressed. "Are you done?" she asked when he didn’t go on.

"Maybe," he snapped, then shrugged. "Yeah, for the moment."

"Great. Want to help me push the car out of the ravine, or should I get that toe-truck guy over there to do it?"

"What toe-truck guy?" Ash asked, trying to peer through the rain.

"Exactly. Come on."

He walked back over to the car, feeling depressed and defeated, and lay his forehead on the hood. "Are you sure you should be doing this?" he asked.

"Yeah, I’ll be okay. I checked my blood sugar while you were enjoying your little tirade, it’s almost up, although I can’t say I think hauling automobiles will help."

Ash braced himself against the tree that had punctured the car, set his foot firmly into the damp earth, and shoved. The car didn’t budge. "Are you going to help or not?" he asked Nina.

She started waking back toward her door. "You left the parking brake on."

This time, with Nina’s added help, the car was happy to budge. Gravity wasn’t so happy letting it go up the hill, but at least it was moving. They made it ten feet before Ash realized he wasn’t going to be able to just give it a shove and have it roll back onto the road like he’d anticipated. Apparently even vampiric strength wasn’t enough.

"I think it’s going to slip," he grunted, and realized Nina was holding a triangular rock in her arms. She leaned down, still pressing the car up the hill with her back, and wedged the rock behind one of the tires.

Ash tested the hold and then stepped away. "Good thinking."

Nina nodded, bent over and panting. "How far do you think it is?"

He stared up toward the road, trying to gauge the distance in the pouring rain. "Maybe a hundred feet."

"So it will probably take us another ten gos before we can get this thing all the way up."

"Probably, assuming we don’t get too tired." As if that was likely. He kicked the ground and swore again.

"Tell me," Nina said, "are you planning on having a screaming fit during every break?"

He glared at her and she smiled back. They moved the rock and started pushing again.

"I wish my ex-boyfriend could see me now," Nina said, leaning against the car while she caught her breath. "Sick, weak little Nina, standing in the pouring rain, pushing a car up a ravine with a complete stranger who’s obviously got some issues to work out."

"I wish my ex-girlfriend could see me now," Ash countered. "Cruel, blood-thirsty Ash, shoving his car up a hill because he was trying to rush a sassy and rude diabetic to the hospital in the pouring rain."

They pushed again.

"It’s damn cold out here," Ash told her.

"Do you always swear this much?"

"Leave me alone, I’ve had a bad day."

"And I’ve had a good one? You’re one of those people who always sees things from your point of view only."

"Be quiet and help me."

They pushed.

"Why’d your girlfriend dump you, Ash?"

"You’re really pushing my buttons."

"Yeah, you shouldn’t have given me all that sugar. I’d be in a coma now."

"Hey, is that your insulin rolling down the hill?"

"Where!?"

"Made you look. That’s for the toe-truck guy."

They pushed.

"You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to hold the rock this time. My arms are trembling."

"Fine, I’ll take the dumb rock."

"That rock is the only thing between you and two tons of metal. Don’t bash it."

"Would you rather I screamed swears at the sky?"

"Yeah, actually I would."

"You know, I don’t think your being diabetic is the only reason all those guys dumped you."

"Shut up."

"Probably not even the main reason."

"I told you-"

Then two simultaneous, "SHIT!!!"s.

Nina and Ash both jumped back just as the car rounded the top of the stone wedge and started rolling down the hill again. "Grab it!" Nina yelled, but there was nothing to hold on to that Ash didn’t think would tear his fingers off.

His footing slipped and he landed on his back in the leaves, two inches of freezing water under him. An uncomfortable position, but it gave him a great view from which to watch the car turn slightly as it slid, roll three-fourths of the way over, and then slam belly-first into a tree.

There was a moment of relative silence before it exploded into flame.

Nina sank onto the ground next to him, rubbing her head. They watched the car burn together and Ash opened and closed his hands, trying to keep his fingers from going numb.

"You know," Nina said finally, "I think the rain is starting to lighten up."

Ash looked at her and burst out laughing.

Part 4/4

"Which way did we come?" Nina asked, and Ash frowned.

"I don’t remember."

"Great."

They stared at the two roads, and finally Nina took a quarter out of her pocket. She fisted her hands and said, "Pick one. If it has a quarter in it, we’ll go left. If it doesn’t, right."

He tapped the back of one fist and then said quickly, "No, don’t tell me. We’ll go right."

Nina shrugged and stuck the quarter back in her pocket. They started walking down the right road.

"Are you feeling okay still?"

"Yeah, I’ll be alright. Sorry about what I said. About your girlfriend."

"Same here. It’s okay, I understand. I swear when I’m mad, you get bitchy."

"I hope I don’t sound bitchy here, but can I ask you something?"

He glanced at her warily as they continued down the road. "Okay."

"Are you a criminal?"

"A criminal? What do you mean?"

"You act like one, like you’re trying to hide something or look all innocent. Maybe it’s my imagination."

He groaned. "Leave it to me to get stuck in the rain with an expert on criminal psychology."

"Is that a yes?"

"Not exactly."

She thought for a moment. "You confuse me, Ash. You’re both a people person and an introvert, you’ll tell me the heart of your problems with your girlfriend but not the simple situation surrounding it, and you aren’t that big but you’re the strongest son of a bitch I’ve ever met."

Ash nodded, wondering how he was supposed to get out of this. Given Circle Daybreak’s new policy laws, he could tell her that he was a vampire if he wanted to. But would she believe him? Would she run off into the woods, get lost, knock her head on a rock, and bleed to death before he could get her back to the hotel?

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying," he told her, hoping she hadn’t noticed him nodding. The rain was turning into a thick drizzle now.

"All right, let me explain more. You pretty much said your girlfriend dumped you because she couldn’t accept you, right?"

"I don’t remember saying that."

"No, I mean, is that why she dumped you?"

"Basically, yes."

"But you haven’t told me what it was she couldn’t accept. Most people would have said, ‘She’s Christian and I’m Jewish. Our religions clashed, and we decided to break up.’"

"You think it’s religious, then?"

"No, I think it’s because you weren’t willing to look at the situation from her point of view. But-" Ash tried to interrupt and she held out a hand. "I also think she was just as unwilling."

He frowned. "I guess that’s fair." This wasn’t going in the best direction, was it? "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you really doing a double major at one of the country’s hardest universities because you want to?"

Nina glanced at him. "Why else would I do it?"

"Because you’ve got something to prove."

Her expression was an interesting cross between surprise and forced skepticism. Ash couldn’t help grinning. "You must be right, I can’t see anything from some one else’s point of view."

It only took her a few seconds to shake her confidence back into place. "I didn’t say you couldn’t do it when you wanted to. What I said was that you are unwilling."

"Uh huh."

They kept walking. The mist made everything appear to have been covered in gray cobwebs and dingy throw-covers. An inch of water still sat on the asphalt, sloshing with every step they took, and the thick clouds let just enough light pass through for them to make out the path.

"I didn’t realize I was that transparent," Nina said. Her voice was softer than it had been a few moments ago, faintly hurt.

"The bitterness was a big tip-off," Ash told her, and then wanted to smack himself. "Crap, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that."

She nodded and didn’t respond. For a long time, the forest was silent except for the drip of water dropping off leaves, and the beat of Nina’s heart, which Ash realized he could hear clearly. He wasn’t sure, but it sounded a little too fast.

"Hey," he said, "are you still doing alright?"

She nodded again. Then she stumbled and almost went down.

Ash grabbed her arm and held her up until she regained her balance. "There was a rock," she started.

"My ass, there was." He went to pick her up and she kicked him in the stomach. Hard.

Ash jerked back and Nina fell to the ground on her butt. "Has it occurred to you that this whole thing might be a pretty big blow to my self-esteem?" she snapped. "I mean, I can’t even got out of town for a week without forgetting a shot, or deciding not to bother pricking my finger and then blowing the insulin dosage. I’m almost twenty years old and I still need somebody to look after my medication for me. It’s pathetic!"

Ash stared at her for a moment, still bent over, and then sighed and sat down. "It’s not pathetic," he said.

"Oh yeah? What would you call it?"

He shrugged. "Hard."

"Funny, most people call it laziness."

"Nobody can deal with a serious illness by themselves. Especially not some one who’s feeling sick, wandering through the forest of a strange land."

She pressed her face against her knees and her voice came out muffled. "Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we’re going the wrong way."

He gazed around at the nothingness of the forest. "Yeah, I think so, too."

She lifted her head and suddenly grinned at him. "You picked the hand with the quarter in it," she said.

Ash laughed and took her hands. "Come on, let’s turn around."

Getting to her feet, Nina said, "If I pass out, you can leave me here."

"I’m not going to leave you here."

"You can’t carry me all the way back to the hotel."

"I’ll carry you to the hospital instead."

"Tell them not to call my parents."

"Okay. Do you have insurance?"

"My card blew up in the car with all my insulin."

He continued holding one of her hands as they walked along, ready at any moment to catch her. "I really thought I could make it the whole trip without getting sick," she said. "Guess I’m not as strong as I thought I was."

"Maybe it wasn’t you. You’re right, insulin doesn’t always work the way it says it will. You’ve got to do, what you’ve got to do."

"The same way you’ve got to keep doing whatever it is your girlfriend doesn’t like?"

He thought of hunting, of blood in his mouth and on his hands, of before-and-after pictures of necks. "I guess so."

The clouds in the sky finally broke, and the moon glistened suddenly above them, the angel’s beach-ball. "Ash?" Nina said again.

"Yeah?"

"I think I.... I think I’m going to...."

"Yeah." He managed to get a good hold on her before her knees buckled. She sagged in his arms, and he could feel her pulse pounding much too fast. "Take it easy," he said. "We’ll make it."

Her head was resting against his shoulder, face down. "If I pass out, you promise not to molest me or anything?"

"Sure."

"You swear on your mother’s grave?"

"I haven’t spoken to my mother in almost a year."

"You swear on your ex’s grave?"

"I swear."

"Good."

She smelled like lavender soap with an underlying hint of face powder, as if maybe she’d been wearing make-up the day before. Her weight was limp and warm like a child who’s just about to reach the toddler stage. Just before she finally passed out, he thought he heard her whisper, "Sorry."

The walk went on and on. Nina woke up twice, disoriented and sick to her stomach. The second time she gestured to a big stone and asked him to kill her with it. Ash’s arms and back were starting to get tired; he thought momentarily of feeding off her and then dismissed it. There were animals around if he got that thirsty.

The night turned from black and gray to dusty blue, and the stars finally came out. Ash thought of Mary-Lynnette, of the day’s strange spiral of events that had brought him here, to this moment. To carrying a pretty, smart, and incredibly complex human girl down the road without biting her. With compassion. With maybe even a little sensitivity.

He’d done it all for Mary-Lynnette at first. Now he wasn’t sure why he was doing it.

Nina stirred and sniffled. She was probably catching a cold to boot, dressed in her thin silk blouse and slacks. For a college student, she sure as hell dressed well.

She shifted to look at her watch. "You’re been carrying me for almost an hour now. Do you want to take a break?"

"I sat down just a few minutes ago," he lied.

"Oh." Her head fell back against his shoulder. "Are you crying?"

There were tears on his cheeks, he didn’t have a free hand to brush them away. "One of the branches must have leaked on me."

Another, "Oh." Damn psychology, she could probably hear it in his voice.

They reached the hotel twenty minutes later. Nina had fallen asleep again, and Ash had been walking for so long it was hard to make his feet stop long enough to open the front door.

He thought about leaving Nina in the lobby and letting the desk take care of her, then voted against it. He doubted she would want people ooing and ahhing at her on their way to the snack machine.

Shifting her onto his hip, he managed to worm the key out of his jeans and cram it into the lock. The room was quiet and warm and dry, all things Ash hadn’t felt for the last three hours. He paused a moment to enjoy them before setting Nina down on the bed. She frowned, groaned, and rolled over.

Ash went into the bathroom with his duffle bag and stripped down. There appeared to be no hot water or he would have taken a shower. Instead, he pulled on a pair of slightly-too-tight jeans and tossed his wet clothes in the tub.

He checked to make sure Nina was still breathing, then sat down at the ornately carved desk and called the hospital. "Damn, we were wondering what happened to that case. It got totally forgotten, ‘cause this broad had triplets in the ER."

They promised to send an ambulance immediately.

Then he called the compound. Again.

"Hello, Alcoholics’ Summer Home. Some are drunk, some aren’t."

"Jez, what the hell are you still doing up?"

"What the hell are you doing calling me again? I’ve got suicidal drunks trying to get through here."

"I need to talk to Quinn."

"Again?"

"Again."

"Is it important?"

"Very."

"Yeah, I knew there was more than friendship going on with you two. Hold on, I’ll get him." Though she must have put her hand over the receiver, Ash could still hear her call, "Quinn! Your bitch is on line two!"

Ash glanced over his shoulder to make sure Nina was still asleep. Sure enough, dark lashes fringed her closed eyes. She looked so pretty when she was asleep, not that waiffish beauty Mary-Lynnette had, but a subtle look of strength at rest. Like a lion napping.

"Ash, what do you want now?"

"A phone call, a plane, and a half gallon of warm blood."

"You’re so greedy."

"Seriously, I need you to call Circle Daybreak’s health insurance company and have them okay us to cover Nina Rosette. Do it quick, because we’ll probably be at the hospital in under an hour."

"Six hours away from her and you’re already spending money on another girl. I can’t believe Mary’s fallen for this repentant vampire line you’re feeding her."

"Don’t talk to me about Mary right now, Quinn. I’m really not in the mood. Besides, we broke up, so it doesn’t matter what I spend or who I spend it on."

If Quinn was startled, it didn’t show. "Fine, sulk. What was that about a plane?"

"I need you to call the airport here and get me another flight back to Rachel for about two tomorrow. Get two tickets."

"You’ve just met this girl and you’re bringing her back here?"

"She lives in Rachel. And she’s got health insurance, but her card got lost when our car exploded."

Quinn sighed. "I don’t even want to know. Anything else?"

"Yeah. Do you know anybody around here who could get me some blood?"

"Mary didn’t allow you to feed?"

"I could have, but the woods aren’t really big enough for the four of us. Anyway, it doesn’t have to be human, I don’t need a donor. Just if you could find a local grocery that wouldn’t mind setting me up with a thermos-"

"Don’t get me started with that thermos business again. I’m not risking that. Besides, why not get some blood at the hospital if you’re going to be there?"

"Quinn, I’m not going to steal blood from the hospital just to satisfy my inhuman cravings. They need that blood for people who’ve lost theirs."

"So feed on a patient and the doctors can refill ‘em."

"Quinn...."

"Fine, fine, I’ll try to have something on the plane for you tomorrow."

"And none of that AIDS spiked stuff, either. You know that shit’s too spicy for me."

Quinn laughed. "You and Tern both. Children. Is that it?"

"I think so. I’ll see you late tomorrow."

"With an explanation, I assume?"

"Yeah. Bye."

Quinn didn’t say goodbye before hanging up, naturally.

Ash put the phone back in its cradle and sighed. He probably needed to get into Nina’s room and grab some dry clothes for her before the paramedics arrived-

"Ash?"

He turned. Nina was sitting up on the bed, back pressed hard against the headboard, fingers digging into pillows. Her eyes were flecked wildly with gold, and her lips were parted in surprise.

"Uh..." he stammered. "I thought you were asleep."

She nodded, then stopped and shook her head.

"I can explain."

He started to stand up and she grabbed a small, metal alarm clock off the bedside table. Not much of a weapon, but she was working on short notice. Ash lowered himself back into the desk chair.

Nina’s hand was shaking. She quickly put the alarm clock in her lap where she could still grab it and touched her neck. "I didn’t bite you," Ash said. "I promised not to molest you or anything in your sleep, remember?"

"I might have been more specific with the ‘anything’ clause if I’d known about this then," she replied. She licked her lips slowly, not taking her eyes off him. "I take it this is why your girlfriend dumped you?"

Ash started to nod and heard pounding on the door. "This is the paramedics," a woman called. "Can you open the door?"

"I’m gonna get that," Ash told Nina. She nodded, seeming suddenly to wilt with relief.

The team came in and loaded her onto a Gurney, and Ash pulled a shirt on and followed, making sure he had his insurance card. "Are you coming?" one of the ‘medics asked as the others strapped Nina securely into the ambulance.

He wavered a moment, hand on the edge of the door, and she lifted her head to see him. Her eyes were still wide, but she said, "I guess I can accept your problems, if you can accept mine."

They stared at each other, and then Ash felt himself break into a smile. "Okay," he agreed, and climbed in.

The End

27-29 August 1998