Dialogues

Disclaimer: All concepts and characters belong to L.J. Smith and her publishers. They are used here for non-profit entertainment, with the except of characters who do not appear in her books or her head.

Rating: PG (Language)

Spoilers: My previous NW fan fiction, as well as NW books before Strange Fate.

Dialogues:

So Far Away

7:48 p.m.

(ring)

(click)

(breathing)

Quinn? Quinn?

(pause) I'm here.

Oh god, you had me so worried. What are you doing? Open the door. Quinn? Are you still there?

I'm here. Where are you?

Delos's room. He said I could call you from his private line. What's going on? (pause) Quinn, come on, talk to me. Tern said you got hurt, he wanted me to get here as fast as I could. Why won't you open the door?

I just....I'd rather not.

Why no? If can't be that bad, Quinn. Even if they cut your whole face off, I still want to see you.

Why is seeing so important?

Because....well, it's not actually, but your barricading the door like this makes it seem like you're hiding something.

(Pause)

They didn't cut my face off.

(click)

7:53 p.m.

(ring)

7:59 p.m.

(ring)

8:04 p.m.

(ring)

8:12 p.m.

(ring)

9:15

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Why did you hang up? Dammit, Quinn, just stop this! Go open the goddamn door, you've got the whole compound scared.

They don't need to be scared. I'm okay.

How can you be okay in there without blood?

I told you, I'm okay. I’m just not ready to come out yet..

What happened to you? I asked Ash and he just shook his head and ran away, and Tern would only say that you'd been tortured. What the hell happened?

It's nothing that won't heal.

Quinn, it isn't going to heal if you don't feed!

Maybe I don't want it to heal.

(pause)

What does that mean?

(click)

9:37 p.m.

(ring)

(click)

Don't you dare hang up on me again.

(silence)

Fine, don't answer. Don't reassure me that you're all right or anything, just let me sit out here and sweat. They're talking about melting down the door, you know. It could take a couple of days, since that room is bomb proof, but they'll do it. Things would be a lot easier if you'd just open the door.

I just can't right now, Rashel.

But why not? Do you just want some time alone? Because if you just said that, every body out here would feel a lot better. I mean, are you trying to kill yourself in there?

I'm healing, I am. It's just going very slowly.

Could you at least open up the door long enough for us to shove a pint in? Or a gallon? No one will come in, I swear.

It's not about people.

Then what's it about?

(pause) You.

(pause) Me? Are you angry at me?

No, not at all. I'm just not ready to see you.

(sigh) Jesus, Quinn, I really don't care if there's a bunch of disfigurement. I just need to....sink into your mind, or whatever it is that we do. I need that, to know you're okay.

Did Mona talk to you? Or Thea?

No, why?

(pause) They skinned my back. Well, he skinned my back. There was only one man. He used a wooden knife, the most incredible I've ever seen. Started with the back of my thighs and worked right up to my neck. He did a few square inches at a time, marking the pieces out and then sliding the knife under them. He put the pieces to dry out on a rack where I could see them, and then he stuck tooth picks in my muscles. The exposed ones. There's one still in the back of my left leg that I can't reach.

(quiet crying)

Don't cry, Rashel. It's over, I'll heal. I just wanted you to know what happened. There will be scars, of course, but not terrible ones. Thea didn't try to put the pieces back together, if she had I'd look like a patchwork quilt by now. She says if I rub myself down with flesh blood and snake venom twice a day the skin will eventually grow back on its own. Could take a year or two, but it will return.

Is it hurting?

Yeah. (sigh) It's not terrible. I mean, it was a lot worse when the man was cutting me. Now everything just stings, and I have to lay on my stomach all the time. Listen, Rashel....Later, when I come out, I don't want you to look at these memories, all right? It's not that you couldn't handle them, I just don't want you to go through that. There have always been things in my head I didn't want you to see, and this is one of them.

I understand, but it might be easier for you if you let some one else share it. You can't just sit in there wallowing.

You've got your own pain to deal with.

Quinn, what do you think soulmates are for?

(pause) Have you ever killed a person, Rae?

A couple of times, yeah. Two accidents and a case of mistaken identity.

Tell me about them.

(sigh) Okay. I was in a night club three years ago and this vampire got away from me. He was running down the street, so I jumped in a car and went after him, and while I was driving I hit a woman. She rolled right over the hood and flew through the window of a storefront. I read about her death in the paper the next day, and I felt awful. She was a single mother. The second one was less my fault. There was a human in the seven-eleven when I went after this vampress, and while we were fighting we ran into a shelf and knocked it down. It fell over, crushing a twelve-year-old girl in the next isle, and I went right ahead and staked the vampire on top of the shelf, knowing she was under there. I don't think it would have made a difference if I had gotten up; they said one of those huge pickle jars landed on her head.

What about the other one?

Oh. That one was awful. You know I didn't actually start staking things until I was twelve, and it was one of my first kills. There was a guy I'd been following around for a while, really good looking, very suave, only came out at night. I cornered him, staked him, and it turned out he wasn't a vampire. He just died like a normal human being. I almost quit I was so upset, but eventually I just made myself be more careful about who and what I staked. No attacks until I had seen them actually feeding. Why do you want to know?

No reason. If you weren't my soulmate, would you have staked me the night we met?

Quinn....well, yeah. I hate to say that, but you know I would have.

And you never thought that maybe some of the vampires had families and friends and were decent people? I mean, I know I'm not one of those-

Of course you are.

-but did you ever feel sympathy toward any of the others?

There’s more than one kind of vampire out there. You live in a different world than the vamps I was killing. You know the lore, you must have heard the word revenant. And revenant is how I always thought of the vampires I killed. Not as real, thinking creatures like you are, but as mindless blood-suckers. I almost never came across ones like you that you think and talk and form coherent sentences. Why feel any sympathy toward them? They were monsters.

Did you ever kill one of these revenants and then find out it was a real person?

No.

What if you had? Could you have forgiven yourself?

(pause) Yes, I think so. I didn’t realize they were people inside, and regardless of that, more importantly, they were still evil.

(pause) I need to think. Can I please hang up?

God, Quinn, I really need some kind of reassurance that you’re okay. It’s obvious that you’re trying to work something out, can you please just tell me what it is?

Later, when I’ve had a little more time. Please?

Promise to call me later?

Yes. In a few hours.

I'm here if you need me.

(click)

8:15 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello, Master Plumbers Incorporated. This is Jim, can I help you?

Hi, Jim, this is Mona.

Mona, hey! How've you been?

Pretty good, how are you?

I'm great, business is booming. What can I do for you?

I wanted to talk to you about rigging a bomb shelter faucet from the outside to pour blood instead of water.....

10:31 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Hi.

Quinn?

Yeah, it's me.

Hi. I was going to call if I hadn't heard from you by noon.

(pause) I know this sounds weird, but I'm going to ask anyway. Would you please tell me about your childhood after you mother died?

I don't understand.

I know, I'm sorry.

(long pause) I went to live with Aunt Corinne, but she got killed in a fire. After that it didn't really matter where I was, or who I was living with. I always felt....well, you know. You've seen the memories. I was angry and alone and I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. I took tons of self-defense classes, karate, T'ai Chi, fencing, stuff like that. I wanted to feel like I could take care of myself.

Do you miss your mother?

I can barely remember her anymore.

But do you miss her?

I don't know. I mean, yeah, of course I miss her. I wish I had a mother, even just to talk to once in a while. Quinn, where is this going?

Nowhere, I've just been missing the sound of your voice.

Quinn.

I'm sorry, I'm wasting your time.

Don't be stupid. You know you aren't.

Did you screw up your undercover case getting here?

No. I told the guy my mother had died, he believed it. He isn't expecting me back for a few days. (pause) You sound better, less spacy.

I gave in and fed off the extra bag of blood Thea left in here.

That's good. So you're walking around?

Very slowly.

(long pause) Quinn, listen to me for a minute. I'm trying to be as sympathetic as I can, and understand that you're going through an incredibly rough time, and you just got skinned for crying out loud, but I don't think I can keep it up for much longer if you won't tell me what's wrong. This is like fighting with the invisible man, it's driving me crazy.

Can I call you back?

No, I'd rather you didn't. Just tell me what's wrong and get it over with.

(deep breath) Let me get a drink first, and then I'll tell you. Hold on a minute.

Okay, but don't hang up.

(silence for several minutes)

Rashel, I have to hang up. The water coming out of my sink has turned into blood.

Wait, we-

(click)

10:58 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello, you've reached the office of Mona Mastry. I'm not in right now, but please leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you. Thanks.

(beeeeeep)

Mona, this is Quinn. I'm just calling to let you know that the sink in here is running blood and this may be a sign of the coming Apocalypse.

(click)

11:03 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Quinn, it's Mona. I know your sink is running blood, I had it rigged. It's all fresh, pure blood, and it will come out of the shower, too, so that you can get some on your back. Drink it, all right? And for christ's sakes, open the door.

(click)

1:24 p.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Hi, it's me again. Sorry it took me so long, I was taking a shower.

I tried to tell you that Mona had your plumbing re-done, but you hung up before I had a chance.

I'm sorry, I was startled. (pause) Are you okay? You sound tired.

I am tired. I was up all of the night before last flying here, and I was up last night waiting for you to call, and I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out what's wrong with you and what I can do, and what I shouldn't do because that might upset you and then you might never come out-

Rae, don't. You don't need to get hysterical. I'm sorry I've been worrying you.

(sniffle) I'm sorry, I'm extremely over-tired. You know how I get cranky when I'm tired.

It's okay, my fault. Is there some place you could crash for a few hours?

Ash said I could stay at his apartment if I wanted.

Why don't you go over there and get some sleep, then? I promise nothing will happen while you're away. I won't do anything rash.

I wish you would. Just open the door, okay? The best thing in the world would be to wake up and see you, not just hear the phone ring again.

(pause) Go get some sleep, Rashel. Give me a call when you wake up and you're feeling better.

And we'll talk?

We'll talk, I promise.

All right. Good night.

Good night.

12:35 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Hi, did I wake you up?

Not really. Did you get some sleep?

Yeah, eleven hours worth. Maggie and Delos said I could just stay in here on the couch bed.

I thought....

What?

(chuckle) It's stupid.

Tell me anyway.

I feel asleep for a little while and I thought you were here, in the building. I could sort of....feel it.

(pause) It was weird, sleeping in the same room with Maggie and Delos. They mumble to each other the same way we do while they fall asleep, and I felt like there was an energy coming from them. I thought of you, well, hey, I've done nothing but think of you the past couple days. But I mean it reminded me of you, that feeling coming from them. It reminded me of how we are together, curled up in the dark like that, all warm and whispery. I kind of freaked out after that, I ended up sleeping on the pool table because I wanted to get out of there. Don't take it the wrong way, it's not like I didn't want to be feeling that, but I didn't want to feel it from them. I wanted it from you. It made me realize how irreplaceable you are.

What are you saying, Rae?

I don't know, nothing specific. I just wanted to let you know.

(long pause) Did you know there's a support group for people who are living without their soulmates? Some of their soulmates died, and some couples just didn't get along well enough to hold it together. They had to go their separate ways before they destroyed each other.

(whispered) I can't imagine that, Quinn.

Neither can I. But it's out there, people are doing it. Mary-Lynette told Ash she didn't want to see him any more on Thursday. Some people have that kind of strength inside them, to live without the kind of closeness we have. But I don't think I could do it, I really don't.

Then why are we even talking about it? We aren't going to end up like that, Quinn, it won't happen.

But it might. Ten years ago I would have sworn I would never fall in love with a human. Five years ago I would have said it was impossible for me to side against the Night World. Six months ago I never thought I might have the skin peeled off my back like slices of cheese. You don't know what's going to happen.

Jesus, Quinn, would you please open the door?! (pause) Quinn?

(rushed) I was there the day your mother was killed. I watched it happen, and I didn't try to stop it.

(silence)

(hurried) We don't really know each other, maybe, or ourselves. You love me, I know that, but maybe you don't know what it is you're loving. I’m undead, I haven’t aged in three hundred years. Not physically, not emotionally. Christ, you’ve killed three people by accident while trying to save the human race. Do you know how many people I’ve killed? All for selfish reasons, or because I was bored, or because they looked at me the wrong way? Do you have any comprehension of the evil I am? You don’t love me, Rashel, you can’t, because you think I’m decent somewhere in here and I’m not. I’m everything you despise, no matter what I do to try and change it. And it gets worse. I...goddamn, this is hard....When Ash found out what had happened, I brain-washed him to keep him from telling you, and when one of the hostages had to be killed in order for the rest of us to escape, I offered him up like a sacrificial calf. I still haven’t told him, I know he’s going to-

(click)

Rashel? Rashel?

(click)

Rashel?

I can’t talk right now....I just...have to go.

(click)

1:37 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Delos? Is Rashel there?

She went to Ash’s apartment. Is everything okay? She didn’t look too good.

Was she crying?

No. Her eyes were very wide and she was breathing quickly, though, I noticed that. What happened?

I...god, Delos, I told her.

About her mother?

Yes.

It was the right thing to do.

You think?

Of course it was. She has every right to know, and it was tearing you up inside. I’m not sure now was the right time to tell her, since you’re in the midst of trying to recover, but it was right to tell her.

It’s my fault they did this to me in the first place. Shale was right, I’m a disgusting person.

That isn’t going to help you get better.

I don’t think anything is. Did you say she went to Ash’s?

Yeah, he came to pick her up. He’s been pretty upset, Quinn, I think seeing you like that really scared him. I know you two pretend to hate each other, but he’s been worried. You should call him if you have the time.

Ash. Worried about me. God, I really hate myself.

(pause) They’re bringing in a wall-melter. You’ll be out of there within forty-eight hours, whether you come willingly or not.

You want me to open the door.

Of course I do. Not just for you, but because everyone out here is going crazy. Mona hasn’t slept or feed, Thea and Tern haven’t left, Ash is holed up in his apartment, and Jez is pushing for blowing the wall out with her fire. She wants me to help.

You aren’t going to do it, are you?

I’d rather get you out myself than see the bomb shelter wall come down. And I’d have to do it, because I don’t think Jez has the precision to do it without taking you out as well.

Don’t bother. I will come out. I just need a little time.

Because of Rashel? You couldn’t tell her in person?

I couldn’t. Having to see it written on her face...

She needs you now. Even though she’s angry at you, you’re the only person who can help her heal. That’s what soulmates are for.

God, that’s what she said. If Maggie had caused every pain in your life, would you be able to forgive her?

Maggie is the reason I would forgive her. She’s the one who taught me how.

(silence)

Let me get you Ash’s number.

All right. Tell Mona not to melt down the wall.

3:04 a.m.

(knock)

Rashel? Are you okay?

Yeah, I’m fine.

There are fresh towels in the closet.

No, there aren’t.

Oh. Sorry. I’m going to make some coffee, do you want a cup?

Uh, not right now. I’m fine, Ash, I’ll be out in a few minutes.

Would you mind unlocking the door? I promise not to come in, it just makes me nervous.

(click)

Thanks. I’ll be in the kitchen, if you want to come talk.

Okay.

3:06 a.m.

(ring)

Hello?

Hey, Jez, is Tern there?

Hold on, I’ll get him.

Thanks.

(muffled sounds)

Hello?

Hi, how’s Quinn?

No change, he won’t come out. But he talked to Delos for a few minutes, and Delos said he sounded sane and everything. How’s Rashel?

She’s in the bathtub right now.

Has she said anything?

No, and I’m scared to push.

Look, Thea and I are leaving in the morning. We’re flying out to Nebraska for the girl’s funeral. We’ll be back tomorrow night. Do you want to come?

I don’t think so. Call me if anything happens?

Sure, you do the same. Bye.

Bye.

(click)

3:11 a.m.

Oh, that was quick. Coffee?

Okay.

(pouring sounds, chairs scraping against the floor)

It’s decaf, sorry, but I’m all tensed up as it is.

Decaf is fine.

I just called Tern, he says Quinn still won’t come out.

Oh.

(several minutes silence)

I heard you broke up with Mary-Lynette.

She broke up with me.

I’m sorry. That must be hard. (sniffle)

(sound of chair scraping) Oh, god, let me get a tissue.

No, I’m okay. Really. I’m just a little confused right now.

He’ll be okay. Thea said he would heal.

Not about that. I mean, yes, about that. About everything. Jesus, Mary must have hated you to leave you like that.

(softly) I guess so.

I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry, I didn’t. But I don’t know how she can live without you if she feels the way I do.

Me neither.

And I don’t know how I’m going to manage without Quinn.

He’ll heal, he really will.

I don’t mean because of the skinning. It’s because I...I have to leave, I just (sob) can’t live with this.

Rae? Here, calm down. What are you talking about? You don’t have to go anywhere. Let me get a Kleenex, or, here’s a napkin, that will do.

You used to hate humans, right?

Yeah, a long time ago.

But now they don’t bug you?

Am I sitting here hugging you or what?

But you used to really hate them, like hate them so much that you killed them all the time.

Well, I wouldn’t say all the time, but....I did kill some people.

And now you regret it, because you understand that there are a lot of really nice people in the world, right?

Yeah, I feel bad about a lot of it. But....well, not all life is sacred. I mean, I used to feed off a lot of criminals, and the murders I killed I don’t feel bad about.

You fed off criminals?

Sure, most vampires do. It takes longer for people to miss criminals than it does good people, so they make better targets.

I’ve killed vampires. Mostly rotten ones, but some were probably nice people.

Yeah, I figured you had. I killed some nice people once.

Do you feel bad about it?

I didn’t then, but I do now. People change, right? You probably aren’t the same person you were before you met Quinn.

(slowly) No, I’m guess I’m not. Ash, if Mary-Lynette were a total bitch, would you still love her?

(chuckle) Yeah, I probably would. What am I saying? She is a total bitch, or at least she’s acting like one right now. And I still care about her, I can’t help it.

And if she called you right now and said she’d killed your sisters?

(pause) What’s going on? Did Quinn....

(sniffle) I don’t want to talk about this. I’m going to go lie down.

(chairs scraping) Rashel?

Please, Ash, later.

7:37 a.m.

(ring)

(groggy) Hello?

Quinn, I don’t think I can hold them off much longer. Mona says that if you don’t come out by eight, she’s going to bring in the wall-melter. It’s like Waco out here.

Damn. Is Rashel still at Ash’s?

Yeah. Did you call her?

No.

Why not?

I don’t want to force myself on her. When she’s ready to talk to me, she’ll call.

Look, all Mona wants you to do is open the door. I’ll be the one to come in, I promise, just me. I’ll come in, bring you some fresh blood, rub a little venom on your back if you want, and then I’ll leave. We just need to know that you’re all right.

(sigh) Fine. Give me a few minutes to get out of bed and get the door unlocked.

Thank you, Quinn, you’re doing the right thing.

That’s what you said when I told Rashel I killed her mother. Look where that’s gotten me.

8:02 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

Ash, it’s Jez. Tern already left, but he asked me to tell you if anything happened. Quinn opened the door a couple of minutes ago and let Delos inside.

Seriously? Oh, that's great. Is he okay?

Delos went in with two gallons of blood and some of the paste stuff Thea left, and he would have let us know if anything had gotten worse. I'll call you back if I hear anything. Bye.

8:23 a.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hey, it's me again. Delos came out and he says Quinn's back is looking pretty bad. None of the flesh is growing back and his muscles have started drying out. Mona ordered three more gallons of copperhead venom, and Quinn agreed to leave the door open as long as Delos is the only one who goes inside. I'll keep you updated. Bye.

Two days later

7:35 p.m.

(ring)

(click)

Hello?

(quietly) Hi, it's me.

(pause) I wasn't sure I'd hear from you again.

Yeah, well....

Where are you?

Ash's.

Is he home?

No, he went to the grocery. All he has here is Little Debbie, so he went to pick up some take out for me.

(rushed) Rae, I'm sorry.

No, don't. I don't want you to tell me that you're sorry.

(pause)

My mother....I can forgive you for her. One of those vampires I staked could have turned out to be your mom, I know how it is on the streets. It hurts like hell, but it always have. Laying blame isn’t going to make that go away.

And Hunter is dead.

Hunter is dead. If my mother needed avenging, it’s done. (pause) But about Ash....I don’t have any right to be angry at you about that. He does, but I don’t.

But you are angry, I can hear it in your voice.

(sudden) I thought we would change, both of us. I thought we agreed on that the night we saved all those girls. I thought....that you saw the kind of light we could live in.

Rae, I screwed up. I know that. I tried, and I still screwed up, and if that isn't true failing then I don't know what is.

You didn't fail, Quinn, you just forgot.... Hell, like I’m one to talk. The things I’ve done here I hate myself for. But to Ash? He’s your partner, you’ve known him since he was a baby. I don’t see how you could have done that to him

I didn’t want to, that’s what I’m saying. I can’t change alone. I need you if I’m going to do this. I can’t break ruts with you a thousand miles away.

I’ve broken as many promises as you have, I wouldn’t be any help.

Just knowing that you’re alive helps. But having you in the room is like some kind of Divine intervention. And you weren’t frowning at me when I watched Hunter kill your mother.

Jesus, Quinn, I don’t want you to do this just because I want you to.

That’s not what I’m saying. I’m not trying to blame you for what happened with Ash, I’m still my own person. But I can’t do this alone, I can’t become somebody else without your help. (softly) Rae, you have no idea how frightening this is.

(pause)

Yeah I do. Cause I’m scared the same way, every morning, that my mind will just close all it’s doors and I’ll turn into that girl I used to be, the bitter, illusioned one who was so angry inside that she wanted to kill everything in sight. Half the time I’m undercover I’m hating myself and wishing it were all different and that I hadn’t left you, because when you’re so far away it’s so damn hard for me to keep believing we can change all this.

Come to the compound.

You'll open the door?

The door is open.

I love you.

I love you, too.

The End

November 15, 1998

(revamped on Christmas)

Jory San-Corinth

Tales From the Scarecrow

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