lords and ladies
*in the beginning,there was nothing,which exploded.
*but that was a long time ago,in the past(footnote-which is another country).
*and besides,the bitch is...older.
(a qoute from 'the jew of malta'-"and besides,the wench is dead")
*nanny ogg never did housework herself,but she was the cause of housework in other people.
(a qoute from 'King Henry IV'-"i am not only witty in myself,but the cause that wit is in other men")
*'are you a hunter?'
I LIKE TO THINK I AM A PICKER UP OF UNCONSIDERED TRIFLES.
'what?like...sherry,custard...that sort of thing?'
I TAKE AWAY PEOPLE'S LIVES IS WHAT I MEAN.
*mustrum ridcully did a lot for rare species.for one thing,he kept them rare.
*using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as ridcully was like a red rag to a bu- was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.
*'we've got a hundred and fifty dollars',said ridcully.'we cant get any more out of the safe because the bursar ate the key yesterday'.
(the bursar takes dried frog pills to relax his nerves,but they make him a little stiff)
*so new directions have to be invented so that the way in the multiverse can be found.
like:east of the sun,west of the moon.
or:behind the north wind.
or:at the back of beyond.
or:there and back again.
or:beyond the fields we know.
("there and back again" is the sub-title of 'the hobit',and all the other directions are from other novels as well)
*there had been plenty of singers whose high notes could smash a glass,but nanny's high C could clean it.
*'well,you know what they say.you cant cross the same river twice,archchancellor',he said.
'why not?this is a bridge'.
*'we've slept out here all night',said jason uncertainly.'that's dangerous,that is'.
'you're right there,Mr ogg',said carter.'i think something went to the toilet in my ear'.
' i mean strange things can enter your head'.
'that's what i mean,too'
(the lancre moriss dancers slept near the stones circle,the path to the world of the elves)
*there should have been violins.there should have been something. there should'nt have been the librarian accidentally knuckling her on the toe on his way to the buffet,but this,in fact,there was.
(granny weatherwax and musrum ridcully meet again after 50 years)
*'i'm the head wizard now.i've only got to give an order and a thousand wizards will...uh...disobey,come to think of it,or say "what?",or start to argue.but they have to take notice
*he'd also found some peanuts.no one ever knew how he managed that.
'oook?'
'no,thank you',said ponder stibbons.'they give me wind'.
'oook?'
'i like to listen to a man who likes to talk!whoops!sawdust and treacle!put that in your herring and smoke it!'
'i dont think he wants one',said ponder.
(the librarian is offering peanuts for ponder stibbons and the bursar,who took to many dried frog pills)
*the shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the new york second,defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.
*'elves at three o'clock!'
'that's all right,then.that's hours away'.
*'why,certainly,i'll have your whelk!how do we do it?volume!'
(the bursar,of course)
*'the bursar',said ponder.'i think we may have overdone the dried frog pills a bit'.he raised his voice.'how...are...you...doing...sir?'
'why,i'll have a little of the roast weasel,if you would be so good',said the bursar,beaming happily at nothing.
*'call again tomorrow,baker,and we'll have a crusty one!' said the bursar.
*'cough,julia!over the bender!' said the bursar.
*(a dialouge between ponder stibbons,the librarian and the bursar,about to help magrat or not)
'you know,folksongs have got a lot to answer for'.
'oook'.
'she's going to get utterly killed'.
'oook'.
'hello,Mr flowerpot,two pints of eels if you would be so good'.
'of course,it could be her destiny,or one of those sort of things'.
'oook'.
'millennium hand and shrimp'.
ponder stibbons looked embarrassed.
'anyone want to follow her?'
'oook'.
'whoops,there he goes with his big clock'.
'was that a "yes"?'
'oook'.
'not yours,his'.
'flobbly wobbly,here comes our jelly'.
'i think that probably counts as a "yes"',said ponder reluctantly.
'oook?'
'i've got a lovely new vest'.
'but look',said ponder,'the graveyards are full of people who rushed in bravely but unwisely'.
'ook'
'what'd he say?' said the bursar,passing briefly through reality on his way to somewhere else.
'i think he said,"sooner or later the graveyards are full of everybody"',said ponder.'oh blast,come on'.
'yes indeedy',said the bursar,'hands up the mittens,Mr bosun!'
'oh,shut up'.
*'did you know they've got esme weatherwax as well?'
'what,granny weatherwax?'
'i came back to rescue her',said ridcully,and then realized that this sounded either nonsense or cowardly.
*'it's certain death anyway',said ridcully.'that's the thing about death,certainty'.
*'whoopsy daisy,old trouser,my bean's all runny'.
(the bursar)
*'what ho,Mr sunshine!' said the bursar,who was feeling almost cheerful with the fresh air and lack of shouting.
*'we need a best man'
'ook'
'well,at least put some clothes on'.
*'i'm sure you'll be very happy-'
'thank you'.
'ook!'
'thank you'.
'nail it to the counter,lord ferguson,and damn the cheesemongers!'
'thank you'.
(ponder,the librarian and the bursar are blessing the groom and the bride)
*'this is a lovely party',said the bursar to a chair,'i wish i was here'.
*do not meddle in the affairs of wizards,especially simian ones.they're not all that subtle.
(a quote from tolkein's "lord of the rings")