Good Bye Castle Firth

Dear Castle Firth Members

As you know i have resigned as founder of Castle Firth and given it back to the rightful owner of it. It was a wonderful place to keep and have..and was very much a part of me. I now understand why it meant so much to the founder..and the funny thing is..it wasnt even my to begin with.

In my heart i know it was wrong to do so..for i have abandoned everyone, abandoned everything..have abandoned what i stood for..and most of all..i gave back a precious gift. Something that was bestowed to me..from a friend whom i hold dear. Someone..who taught me so much..even if he says he hasnt taught me anything. Sure it hurts me greatly to do much..but you know something..seems the place fell on its own..*sighs*..i hate to admit it...i tried my best everyone..tried like anything. Had weekly meetings, had the calender events, tried to make the place meaningful, fun, something to break out of the stresses and strains from yahell. Something where friends and family can truly get together..and be together..without worrying about posers, trolls, fakes, people who would hurt or destroy each other. It was a special place..which had so much potential..and god i tried so much..tried too much..but how much can a person truly do by themselves?..Especially one who is nothing more then a lost subbie? I couldnt do everything..although i did everything.

There are many reasons why i left Castle Firth. One reason is..i seemed to have lost all..lost a great deal of things..most of all i lost myself. I dont know who i am or what i am. And me of all people..should have never been the one with the answers..should never been the leader..the founder..shouldnt never been a person to look up to. I was on my podium..but i fell..and i fell hard..now i need to find myself..find out who i am..find out what i am. Find out something.

If everyone is against my descision..i appologize from the bottom of my heart..it was something i never wanted to do..something in which i thought i had a home a place..some thing that i could rely on. But seems i cant even rely on myself. I only hope that everyone can forgive me. And if the place falls with me..so be it..for it was crashing down..and no matter how much i tried to keep it up..even i feel down with it.

with that i wish everyone well...good luck on your journeys..good luck on what comes up in the future. For as you also know little_moonbeam_of_light..is now dead as well..light became something that she was not..but ironically she cant even give up this website..so here in the realm of HTML does the name light live on. But it is time for her to give it up.

To the current founder of the Castle. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me as well..You gave me a gift which i could never forget. Thank you so much..wishes you well and good luck..*wraps arms around you giving you a warm hug* wishes everyone well.. Sincerly Melanie

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