One day, Sonny decided to take a walk in the forest. It had been a while since Sonny felt at home in nature - he was still haunted by the grisly deaths of his family members - but he thought that it was time to return to his feral roots. So, on a bright Saturday afternoon, after waking up at 4:00, sonny began a therapeutic stroll down a dirt path near his dorm.

At first, Sonny just took in the sights and sounds of the environment around him: the flocks of tall orange cranes and the stampeding bulldozers tearing through the forest. But there was something else in the air; something he'd never noticed before in his past visits to the forest. It didn't hit his until he ran across a monkey doing #2 in its little forest toilet (Note: If you've never seen a forest toilet, don't worry. 'Forest toilet' is just a fancy word for 'forest' because, let's face it, animals don't really need a toilet to do #2). So anyway, Sonny was just watching the monkey finishing its business when it hit him...actually two things hit him at this point. The first was the smell � he couldn't avoid the smell. But the second, more poignant element that hit him was the fact that the monkey wasn't wearing any clothes. In fact, none of the animals in the forest were wearing any clothes except for Sonny.

Now, Sonny isn't usually one to succumb to peer-pressure, but since he'd been working out a lot, he didn't think it would hurt to take off his shirt and his shoes...and his pants. On the other hand, there was one particular muscle that Sonny hadn't had the chance to work out as much, so he kept his tighty-whiteys on to avoid embarrassment.

So there was Sonny, running along the path with his clothes in hand. He'd already been awake for two hours now, so he was starting to get tired and a little hungry. So when he saw a little house just to the side of the path, he thought it'd be a good time to stop and rest. As he walked up to the door, he thought to himself how strange it was to see a house in the Virginia woods decorated with Chicago football memorabilia. But he didn't think about it long because he knew that too much thinking would make his head hurt. Instead, he just pressed the doorbell a few times and took a step back in anticipation of the home's inhabitants.

At first, no one came to the door, so Sonny just waited on the front porch for the house-dwellers to return. After a while though, Sonny needed to do a #2 himself, and he wasn't content with going in a forest toilet. Instead, he turned the handle on the door, hoping to gain entry and access to an actual toilet inside. Unfortunately, the door was locked. Sonny initially took this as a sign that visitors weren't welcome in the house; but as he circled the home, he noticed three unlocked windows...leading him to conclude that he was welcome indeed.

But Sonny had a decision to make before he entered the house; there were three unlocked windows of different sizes to choose from. Sonny took a look at the first window and saw immediately that it was too small, so he turned his head towards a second window near the end of the building. The second window was huge, and Sonny was sure to fit through, but it was too far away for Sonny to walk, so Sonny went on to examine the last window. The last window was just right, and even better, it was right in front of him so he didn't have to do any more walking. Sonny slipped inside and quickly directed himself toward the bathroom to relieve himself. After finishing with his business, Sonny was faced with another decision. When he went to wash his hands, there were two handles on either side of the faucet to choose from. One had an 'H' engraved on the top and the other had a 'C'. Sonny wasn't exactly sure what to do at first, so he started by turning the handle with the 'H'. But when he stuck his hands under the faucet to feel the water, it was too hot, so he shut it off immediately. Next, he tried turning the handle with the 'C'. This time, the water was too cold. Unsure of what to do next and not wanting to walk around in a strange house with dirty hands, Sonny stayed in the bathroom for a few moments, thinking about what to do next. Then, all of a sudden, it hit him. Using the wisdom he'd acquired from the owls he'd befriended in his childhood, Sonny turned both of the handles at the same time; and when he felt the water, the temperature was just right. So he finished washing his hands and left the bathroom to explore the rest of the house.

Since he was hungry, Sonny started off by going to the kitchen to see what there was to eat. Being the polite guest that he was, Sonny didn't want to steal any food from the family's refrigerator; instead, he went to the trashcan to see what kinds of things might have already been thrown out. If he took something from there, it probably wouldn't be missed.

The first thing Sonny came across was an almost-opened can of Spam. Apparently, someone had broken the key while trying to open the container and threw the can out in frustration. It even looked like there were claw marks running down the sides of the can. Either way, Spam was too salty for Sonny, so he kept digging through the trash for something better to eat. The next thing he ran across was a jar of honey. He dipped his finger in and tasted the honey with the tip of his tongue, only to find out that it was way too sweet. It must have started to caramelize during the time it had been left in the garbage.

By now, Sonny had grown to be very hungry, so he kept digging through the pile of trash until he found a half-eaten box of animal crackers near the bottom. Sonny thought it was strange that all of the tigers and elephants and monkeys had already been eaten. In fact, the only animals left in the box were the bears. But since Sonny was very hungry and couldn't both think and eat at the same time, he starting munching and didn't give another thought to the strange distribution of animals in the box. After Sonny finished eating, he decided to go upstairs in search for a place to rest. On his way to the bedroom though, he came across a small room with three computers. Curious, Sonny stepped inside and took a look at the glowing screens. As he looked at the first computer, he couldn't read a single word on the screen because the screen resolution was set way too small. So he moved on to the second one. The second one wasn't much better though. This time, the screen resolution was way too big, and the whole screen was filled with only one word. But when Sonny sat down at the third computer, the screen resolution was just right, and Sonny logged on to ICQ to chat with his friends.

After a while, the sun started to set. Sonny looked at the clock on his computer screen and realized that it was about time to head back home. So he logged off of his computer and walked back downstairs towards the entrance of the house. He checked to make sure the garbage was all back in the trash can, and he washed his hands one last time before he left the house. While he was in the bathroom, he even checked to make sure that the toilet seat was put back down. When he was finally satisfied with the condition of the house, he opened the door and headed on the dirt path back home.

Along the way, he saw three bears walking in his direction. He wondered where they were going since it was already so late, but he refrained from asking them because he didn't want to pry. Instead, he just said 'good evening' and continued on home to rest up for his next big adventure.

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