Cue Demoness
As Jason sat, he watched the people enter and leave the cafe carefully, scanning for faces known to him. Jason also checked his appearance in the window, nice looking jeans, a loose red T-shirt and clean white sneakers. Reasonable, he decided. It was approaching dinner time, so the cafe became quite full. His was the only table with a lone occupant, and the (new, Jason noticed) waiter came past several times to ask if he want anything. Jason got the impression that the fellow must be concerned about his tips, and was trying to get him to move along.
Finally, She walked in through the front entrance. As usual, a quarter hour late.
The last years had been not so good to Ashikel. Her vessel had thinned to the modern fashion of beauty, but to Jason, she just appeared gaunt. Her faintly haunted blue eyes flicked in his direction, and he remembered how she looked in the beginning, when everything was new. Now she was like a shadow of her former self. She wore loose fitting jeans and a burgundy sloppy joe, and had a baseball cap tucking in her long blond hair. A disguise, as good as any, for one so attractive even now. Even dressed down, she attracted the covert attention of more that one pair of eyes.
Ash looked about the cafe once, carefully, and then without hesitation, moved over to the opposite side of Jason's table. With a whimsical smile that all too briefly lit up the room, she spoke.
"Is this seat taken?" From the sound of her voice, deepened and throaty, she must have taken up smoking.
"It is now" replied Jason. "Should I have gotten a table in the 'Smoking' section?" he asked with a quizzical smile. "And how many times have I warned you not to talk to strangers?" Jason wagged an admonishing finger, shaking his head with mock sincerity.
Ash chuckles deeply as she sat down. "For you, for this evening, I quit. Anyway, you don't look that strange."
Jason made a signal to the waiter. Looking at Ashikel he asks "The usual? Or are you feeling a little sausy today?"
She shrugged her shoulders indifferently. "The food is merely what comes before the coffee. I leave my self in your culpable... sorry, bad habit, capable hands."
Jason ordered for both of them. Once the waiter had taken their orders and left, Jason continued. "It has been awhile, and many strange things seem to be happening all at once. But here I am doing all of the talking. How have things been with you? You obviously aren't wasting all of your money on clothing." he said with a little chuckle.
Ash skygazed mockingly. "Give me strength." She sighed. "I am going incognito. Besides, I wouldn't want to mess with your style." She eyed Jason's apparel with a raised eyebrow. Then grinned.
"Well... things are busy." She left that comment in the air and it fell like lead. "Yes, there is a lot that has happened these last few hours. But, business over coffee. Food first."
Giving a too attentive neighboring patron a look that would melt titanium, which elicited an abrupt pale look from its target, she tilted her head at Jason. "What is it about female forms? I keep meaning to make myself a male vessel, but just never seem to have the time. You have been on His side all along. Any clues as to why He did the whole Adam / Lilith / Eve thing? It is still completely beyond me." The corners of her mouth betrayed the faintest smile.
"It certainly makes life more interesting, don't you think? Fortunately *we* are not so shallow...." Jason pursed his lips slightly, but otherwise kept a straight face. Ash chuckled deeply.
Looking over toward the waiter, Jason said "Ah our food has arrived."
The waiter had brought out the food in remarkable short time.
Jason and Ash made additional small-talk over dinner. When they were done Jason signals the waiter, "Coffee for the lady and I'll have some chocolate Ice Cream please." When the waiter had gone he looked over at his dinner companion and says "You should be careful with all that coffee and cigarettes. You'll stain those pearly whites. Another thousand years and you won't be getting those same looks from all the young men." He smiled.
Ash just shrugged. "In a thousand years? You think we will make it to the end of /this/ millennium before your people call out the Four Horsemen? Anyway, in the words of the holy man, its better to burn out than ... something else."
"So you were saying it has been a busy few hours?" prompted Jason.
After the coffee arrived, Ash looks about once more, carefully, as she spooned in the sugar. As in lots. "Hokay. Business." She stretched, then looks about dreamy eyed and vacantly.
"My people are on the move. The eyes of the guardians of the mortals on your side seem to be distracted in a big way since those few moments that didn't happen. I won't name names, but there is a big faction that are using this interlude to put the toe hold in on the corporeal plane." She smiled at Jason in perfect ditz, covering the seriousness of what she was saying with a remarkably good act. You have to hand it to her, she could cover well.
Jason volunteered information about seeing Azazel, and what he saw in Frederick's future (but not Frederick's name).
"That does not surprise me, really. A large number of servants of your side are going to get some nasty surprises in the next few days. Most of your people have become clumsy over the years, and have left clues that any attentive celestial could follow. So this person in the angel's office, he could quite easily be a target."
Jason added the fact that Raphael was about, and that he 'says "Hi." '
Ash showed a difficult to read reaction to that, and covered it by muttering, "How is the original bleeding heart, anyhow?"
"Still bleeding...in more ways than one I'm afraid. It should not be much of a surprise that s/he has had a very bad day."
She seemed vaguely troubled by Jason's words, which for Jason was perhaps the best sign he had received of some form of sympathy from her. But she did not speak again about it.
Jason let that pass, and instead asked an indirect question about what information she might have about angelic superiors.
"Well, David and Laurence and Michael are usually the ones we hear about most on my side of the fence, and I know for sure that no one has any idea what they are doing now. I was kind of hoping you might be able to let me in on what ever it was... Because if they are playing at confusion they are doing a damn fine job of it. All I can guess is that they may be waiting for specific people to poke their heads out and then do unto them the old one about how to deal with a snake."
"The others have been pretty quiet too. Domenic is your side's problem so I don't know about him, Gabriel has not been seen, the Dreamers are off in their own worlds as usual (surprise surprise), Yves is an unknown to all of our people, Novalis has shown her face about in one or two areas of ... activity and put a stop to it, as has Jean but they are, like, the only ones of the bunch."
Jason asked about any effects of the silence.
"All I know is that the people I associate with had nothing to do with it and have no idea, but are going to milk it for all it is worth while the confusion reigns. There were a large number of very nervous demons performing all kinds of restoring rites for essence after it happened, just waiting for the sword of Damocles (or, say, Laurence) to drop, I can tell you."
"What about your people? What did it do to you? Did your side cause it?"
"The lose of Essence seems to have been universal. I'm afraid I have not talked to too many other celestials. I spent most of the morning trying to get together with some of the angels I know in the City and had a hard time getting a hold of anyone. One was out of the country (and who knows what else), another was nowhere to be found, and a third had...company. I am hoping more than anything to talk to him soon, because I think he knows more about what is going on."
Jason lapsed briefly into silence as he takes another look around the restaurant before continuing. "Raphael spoke with Novalis, but she seemed to be a bit evasive about what happened. I wonder whether she might know something of what is going on. But the really big news is that Michael appears to be around...and apparently ready for a fight."
Jason allowed that news to sink in and then said "if *I* were a demon" he looked meaningfully at Ashikel "I would watch my back. I don't know who he is out to get, but I certainly wouldn't want to get in his way. I don't think that our side directly caused the silence, but something significant certainly happened, and that might have been an unexpected outcome."
Ashikel went a trifle more pale. "Michael /Himself/ is here?" She paused to consider this, and hung her head suddenly, all sign of humour and light heartedness gone. "I'm screwed."
She remained deathly quiet for several moments, as though weighing up her options. Finally she spoke again. "I am /so/ dead. Shit Shit shit shit shit." She raised her eyes to meet Jason�s and shook her head. "You might as well know what has happened. Call it returning the favour for not handing me to Laurence's fellows that time."
In a deadpan voice, she explained. "I was given the task of watching a tether we were in the process of setting up after last night until someone Named was assigned to it. It was in a relatively public place, and everyone else was so busy, so they put me on it, me being such a people person. But then, four or five hours ago, a group of people show up. They are awful quiet about it, but they set up watch in the area. Then I recognized one of them. You remember Karlial? Anyway, I do the whole 'nobody here but us mortals' thing and watch for a bit. Then they make their move. Seems the leader has a police badge, someone high up in the force, but I tell you this, not one of those others were police. Anyway, I hang around long enough to get a look at the leader. She is five five, red hair, smoking, dressed in trenchcoat with something bulky underneath. And damned if I have ever seen her before. But the others are taking orders like she is the right hand of ... well you get the idea. They move in and take over the entire area, shooing away any mudanes that wander passed. I was so lucky none of them recognized me."
"So I split. I wasn't going to show up to this meeting with you, but I needed to have some options, and any information is better than none. I can not go back to my boss and let Him know what has happened. He will string out every vein in my body and use them as harpstrings for failure. I can't go and face a noble discorperation at the hands of these guys, because if that was Michael, then you know his policy about fallen foes. His sword bites the soul and mind, not just the body." She shivered.
�And it is around about there that my options end." She became quiet, thinking. After some time, she finally turned her head towards Jason, pleading.
"Unless you can offer any suggestions."
Jason reached over and took her hand, looking deep into her eyes he responded, "I guess it depends on how bad you think it is and how desperate you are to get out of it. I'll do whatever I can for you, but like I said, I'm not standing between Michael and anyone he is mad at. Not that I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice myself, but I think we both know how long walking through me would slow Michael up. And I doubt he would think twice of walking through me in a situation like that. I only see two choices that I can help you with. I can help you hide out and hope this blows over...or we can get a little more drastic."
Ashikel tilted her head, and a stray blonde lock of hair escaped the confines of her cap and half obscured one of her eyes as she listened, expression faintly hopeful. She appeared to accept Jason's assessment of the situation, and seemed to be speculating on this suggestion.
He paused, maybe for effect, maybe not. "You know that Raphael can bring you back... I know s/he would be more than willing to... and I would love to have you back... but it is up to you."
As Jason said this, she looks up as though slapped. "You..." she started, but faltered. Looking for words, she pulled her hand out of Jason's, and looked at the table and the coffee and the sugar and the salt and the pepper. Anything, but not into Jason's eyes.
She lit a cigarette, and puffed on it a few times in silence. Then finally, she looked up at Jason after several minutes, and her eyes were neutral, controlled. "You have absolutely no idea what you are saying, do you?" Not so much a question, as a statement.
Then, she leaned back and gave a low chuckle. Only the lone tear half welling in the left eye betrayed the depth of feeling that Jason's words had evoked. "Oh, how easy it is for you. You have never really had to face what it is like, have you, to hear your own Symphony? How could you know? For you, and Raphael, everything that happened all that time ago, it is just a sickness, or a wound. Just a condition, waiting to be treated. Oh, I know what Raphael would do. He would forgive me. He would take away everything that I am now, remove utterly the private Symphony I have constructed in myself over the last five millennia, utterly change me to be back again to be as I used to be." She chuckled emptily.
"You have forgotten what the War was for, haven't you? I am not the way I am out of spite or hatred! Or for that matter out of something that is wrong with me. I am the way that I am because I did not then, and do not now, really agree with what I see of The Plan, and cannot accept my role in it. Lucifer did not seduce us, you know. We followed him willingly. Just because you won the War does not make your side right. Just more powerful."
"And what you are suggesting is something I cannot agree to. If this is a Wound I do not want to be healed. I have done pretty awful things for what I believe. You want to know about that? I know Raphael would forgive me, but you, I am not so sure of. This morning I killed two mortals. One on orders to maintain the tether, the other merely because she was in the way. And I would do it again. Would you forgive that? Even if you did, could you allow me to exist unaltered if you had the choice?"
"My superior would gut me for failure. And under most circumstances I would accept that Judgment. This time it is unfair because I was matched against vastly superior people without thought. But I still prefer that judgment to Michael's. Why are my people so harsh on their own? Not out of malice. Because we cannot afford failure. Every step forward we have made has been with infinite opposition and limited resources. Do you know why all this happens? Because we Lost. We have had to make use of every tool available to try to tip the scales back, but your people are more powerful and there are more of you. And, because we have done that, because we have been willing to make those final steps to win even on a local scale, your side has the chance to be all high and mighty about how bad we have been."
"What about Michael, huh? Or Gabriel? Or Domenic? You cannot in your heart pretend that these angels, or sorry, Sanctioned-From-On-High-Arch-Angels are doing any less bad things than what we have done. Whatever justification you manufacture, the result is the same. There is more blood on the hands of Heaven than has ever been poured out in the depths of Hell. Human history has been under the influence of the Choirs since the beginning, and look how that has turned out. You know very well whose idea the Inquisition and the Holocaust were."
"So. Are you so sure you want to try to convert me, Jason? I am not the same as I used to be, and I am not some hard luck case for you to feel sympathy for. I am a Demon, damn it."
"You still want to try to help me?" She looked at him accusingly.
When Ashikel finishes Jason chuckled. "It is good to see the fire in your eyes again Ash. I have missed that more than most things these last few millennia. Remember, you asked for options. Maybe if last night had not occurred I could supply you with a lot more options and help. But we all have our troubles at the moment. I fear that Michael has more likely come for me and not you. Maybe I'll be asking for you
to redeem ME soon." He let out a bitter laugh. "I'm afraid that I have not told you all of my fears and suspicions about what is going on, but can you blame me for not completely trusting a 'Demon, damn it'?"
The steel in her eyes softened a trifle, and she remained thoughtful.
The bitterness was gone from his voice now, and he chuckled again. "I think I understand why you left, do you think everyone is completely satisfied with every detail of the Plan? But ask yourself, if your Side wins, will Lucifer's Plan be any more palatable? The King of the Selfish is unlikely to be so open to your criticism. Rebelling against what exists is much easier than trying to fix it from within. Unfortunately, radical change has a way of getting out of hand and coming back to bite you."
She bit her lip at this, but remained quiet.
He sighed. "What options were you hoping I would give you? Would you like me to come talk to your Master and give testimonials on how hard you tried? Or maybe be a gift to divert attention from your failure? I just want you to know that if you ever get tired of being alone unable to trust anyone, you always have a door back."
Jason stood and dropped some money on the table to cover the bill. "You asked whether I could forgive you..." he looked directly into her eyes "...I could forgive you anything you were truly sorry for doing. We have all done things we are not proud of to further our cause. The question is whether you can forgive yourself. Until then not much else matters."
She looked up at Jason as he stood, and then finally shook her head, still seated. "If that is what is required, then no. I cannot. I would not be able to forgive myself, if I was returned to how I was. I know that. If everything I have done has been for nothing, or worse, has been just a continuous series of bad things done by a dysfunctional soul, then I could not live with myself. I have to believe that there is a reason that I am the way I am, and I have to try to make that reason real. Maybe it is part of the ineffable, maybe it /is/ just to create an opposite for Heaven, or maybe there is real possibility for something of value in Lucifer's Symphony. I don't know. I do not have the ear of either Lucifer or your boss. I can not ask them. All I can do is make the decisions I can live with for as long as possible. Then probably die."
She hung her head. "Maybe Lucifer was lying when he described his Symphony. But it was beautiful, Jason. You remember? In the same way of flame, in the same way of a thermonuclear explosion, like a flower unfolding with petals of fire. My god, my fallen god, how beautiful... Would that I could sing for you my song, the occasional notes and alterations I have added. Perhaps you too would understand. Maybe if Michael does come for you, though I do not understand why... Perhaps it is as flawed or worse than the original, but it was the only alternative, and it /is/ magnificent in its fragility and intricacy, and power."
She looked at Jason directly. "You did not answer my question. I cannot accept Raphael's gift, and I would find speaking with him as a tear at the soul, because everything I am and do hurts him so much... and much as the propaganda declares, I take no pleasure in pain. Especially for one like She/He."
"But, are you still willing to help me, unrepentant and unchanged? I could use a place to hide, if your first offer holds, at least for a while."
"I have always been willing to help you. And not just do what I think would help you, but what you think will help you. I will accept you however you are. And Raphael will too. S/he would be happy to...well I guess 'see' is not the right word at the moment...have you in His/Her presence. S/he would have come with me tonight were it not for His/Her condition and fear that His/Her presence would upset or frighten you."
Ash seemed reluctant at these words, but nodded her understanding
Jason took a long look around the cafe and surrounds to see if any Celestials appear to be about. "If you would like to come back to the Library with me you are welcome. I am afraid that in its current state it may not be as much protection as you would hope, but it is better than nothing. I have a great deal of healing yet to do there tonight, so I must go back. We can talk about your other questions there if you like."
She considered him carefully, and nodded.
A grin broke across his face "That is if you don't mind being seen in public with one smartly dressed stud of an Angel." He held out his hand.
Ashikel stood, taking the hand. "I would have said devilishly handsome under other circumstances, but I would prefer not to invoke the name of the Lustful one..." She smiled wanly. "I would be grateful of whatever protection you could provide, and do not fear speaking with Raphael. Lead on, my guardian angel."
Jason got them a cab and they drove back to the Library and entered via a side entrance, all the while on the lookout for Celestials or their servants.
The side entrance to the library was easily accessed, and with caution the two descended into the stacks.
As Jason approached the reading room where Raphael was holed up, he could hear a faint electrical sizzling ringing out in the Symphony, growing louder as he approached the room. Finally even Ashikel could hear it, and she looked at him, worried. The palpable symphonic tension reminded him of the moment before a storm, standing where lightning was about to strike. Someone of Jean's was near.
Selindeal manifested in the air before the two of them, coiling and flapping in the ether. "... lightning strikes ... ashes to ashes ... after the embers die ... the remnants mingle with tears and become black paste, clogging arteries and aureoles ... smoke rises and pain is felt at trust misplaced ..." Then Selindeal faded into the walls.
From the room beyond, Jason heard Raphael's voice.
"Jason! Worry not, we are among friends."
Jason was extremely suspicious at the moment, and was certainly not going to take ANY chances with Ashikel, and hopefully not too many with himself.
Quickly he backtracked a little to a place where Ash could hide, and explained at least two ways out in addition to the way they came in. He then whispered "Something seems very much amiss. If everything is OK I will come back for you and call you 'Ash'. If something is wrong I will call you 'Ashikel' and you will know there is to be on your guard. Either way I will not lead anyone to this spot, but you may want to flee if there's danger. Hopefully I am just being paranoid." He gives her a smile and goes back to the reading room.
Ashikel nodded her agreement with one swift motion of her head, and faded into the background.
Jason then returned to the reading room and entered cautiously, looking around to find exactly who was there.
"So Raphael, which friends are we among?" he said in an inquisitive, and not suspicious, tone.
Chapter 1, and Meeting with
Karen
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