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Do not overestimate the decency of the human race.

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Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

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An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

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Of government, at least in democratic states, it may be said briefly that it is an agency engaged wholesale, and as a matter of solemn duty, in the performance of acts which all self-respecting individuals refrain from as a matter of common decency.

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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

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Nature abhors a moron.

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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights.

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No one in this world, so far as I know--- and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me--- has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

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If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.

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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.