By Terri Rothrock and Kristi Goldberg
As romance writers, we eventually have to learn to compose the pivotal--and sometimes painful--Kissing Scene. Kissing is more than the meeting of lips and tongues; it’s about emotion, reaction, sensation, as evidenced in the responses to a poll we took in honor of the month for lovers--and kissers. This random, unscientific survey containing "kissing" questions was conducted online among women ranging from age ‘twenty-something’ to ‘it’s none of your business.’ We claim no percentage points or margins of error. What we offer is a sampling of personal experiences that will hopefully provide inspiration. To protect the not so innocent, those who responded shall remain anonymous.
After reading these observations, you might find yourself laughing, nodding in agreement, or even sighing as your own recollections filter in. We take no credit for content except for composing the questions and giving the article some semblance of order among the kissing chaos. The participants did all the work, and we commend them for a job well done.
Happy Valentine’s Day, and we wish you lots of successful kissing (scenes).
Describe your first "real kiss". Who, when, where, and how did it make you feel?
"Nineteen-year-old Billy Clyde M., April 7, 1975, in his brand new,
white, 4-wheel drive Ford pickup in a company pasture somewhere in Washington
Parish...I felt like a goddess."
"Dave R. (who had a goatee in 1979--he was so cool), first real high
school dance, in the middle of the dance floor. I thought I was going to
faint."
"Joey S., in my aunt's back yard, while on vacation in North Carolina. He was three years older than me, obviously knew how to kiss and I felt very grown up (What a laugh)."
"It was about as revolting and fascinating as an activity can be. I was about 12 years old and standing in the dimly-lit coat closet of my Catholic school, putting my winter wear away when a classmate, a boy named Inoel (who, by the way, I couldn't stand because he always smelled muskily unwashed and had prankster eyes) grabbed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth for a few seconds. I wanted to vomit at the soggy, mushy and unwelcome sensation! But it was interesting, too, in the sense that it was a first and something to ponder and analyze, if not repeat with Inoel."
"Johnny H., who, I'm sure, is serving time in the Texas State Penitentiary for breaking and entering. He was a bad thief, but a grand kisser.
The Place? A big ol' drainage ditch (I was watching my love jump his bicycle over various pieces of garbage... it was wonderfully low life). When? I was 14, I think. How did it make me feel? Loved. I am the inspiration for ‘Lookin' For Love In All The Wrong Places’ and I wear it like a badge of honor."
"On a summer trip to Israel. I felt like a kazillion, million bucks. Until he told me that it had been a long time since he kissed a mouthful of braces."
"My first came from Marty S., hands down, the coolest and best looking "Bad Boy" in seventh grade. We'd been at a party where we played spin the bottle and he'd given me this innocuous little peck then. But later, we went outside on the patio and he just looped an arm around my waist and pulled me up against him and said, ‘This is how I really wanted to kiss you.’ And boy, did he ever. I melted and ran all over the concrete patio like warm chocolate pudding. It was a moment I'd love to relive."
What constitutes a good kiss, in your opinion?
"Lack of slime, absolute focus, good oral hygiene, no fishy puckers.
I hate that."
"More lips than tongue, moist but not wet, soft
and gentle with the power to melt my innards."
"If it makes me feel like I'm on an elevator ride--you know, that
funny sensation in the pit of your stomacH--it's a good kiss."
"I'm unusual, perhaps, in that I like a lot of face and lip contact,
nose rubbing, cheek rubbing, lip rubbing, small kisses progressing to kisses
that last longer and with more pressure, but I do not like a lot of tongue-down-the-throat.
I like tip of tongue maneuvering, light touches, lip licks,.but not much
into the meaty FRENCHING. Perhaps Inoel laid the basis for my eschewing
deep tongue maneuvers."
"A kiss that says ‘I love you.’"
"Hmmmm ... it has to involve feeling... passion... you know...hands holding the face kind of kiss..."
"A good kiss in my opinion is slow, wet and soft."
"I think it's all in the approach. The anticipation in that brief moment when you know you're about to be kissed, but no contact has been made. It's the look in the eyes before they close. It's the catching of breaths, the warmth, the gentleness. After that, it can go anywhere."
In your steamiest fantasy, who would you like to lock lips with? (Spouses don't count.)
"I guess it would be Chuck P., the guy that I pined for all through high school. I still wonder what it would have been like."
"How about Daniel Auteuil (French actor)? He looks so mild, but there's something lurking underneath that ordinary man's face. I suspect he’d make a gal’s lips swoon."
"Steve Young, right now. But this is subject to change without notice."
"At least once a month I have a verra hot dream about kissing the first boy I adored. Who I would not have now if you paid me."
"Ed Harris as he was in The Rock...I got a thing for men in uniform."
"Sean Connery comes most quickly to mind. I've always wanted to suck that man's lips right off his gorgeous face. Yum."
In your opinion, what is it about kissing that lights our collective fires?
"If done correctly, the man kissing you can't watch the fourth quarter while pretending to give you his undivided attention. The potential for control is endless."
"I think it has a lot to do with moving into personal space in an unequivocal way, and the fact that it blends so many of the senses: smell, taste, touch. Mingling breaths is highly personal. Mingling saliva even more so. It's not the kind of thing most people just do on first sight (or if they do, I figure they've got some problems). It's saying, ‘I'll let you in close, and let you smell me, taste me, the way no ordinary person can.’ Neurons blink and go blam. That helps."
"Even at it's most energetic, it's a tender, somewhat restrained display of passion with more power to arouse and excite than a more overtly sexual gesture. (Sorta like when guys say that a female in some sexy little garment is more of a turn on than total nudity...it's the hint of things to come.)"
"In its most perfect form, it's the physical manifestation of how we feel for a person. And we don't generally kiss people we don't like."
"The closeness. The voluntary exchange of germs with what otherwise would be a total stranger."
"It makes you feel very close to the person you are kissing."
"I feel the connection and closeness in a kiss lights our collective fire."
"Kissing is, in many ways, even more intimate than intercourse. You must share your face, your eyes, your taste, while partaking of someone else's. It requires a good deal of trust to allow that intimacy and yet, that type of trustful sharing is what we all long for, I believe."
Terri Rothrock is a part-time R.N.,
full-time dreamer, and grudgingly admits to being a kissing expert. Kristi
Goldberg has been writing for seven years, has the hips to prove it, and
shamelessly admits to letting Terri do most of the work on this article.
Both are Heart of Texas members .