ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT KERMIT!
Kermit sets out to interview her, but first talks to a young lady who lives in a glove ("Does this
look like a shoe to you?"), who also has a rhyme: "There was a young lady who lived in a
glove, if you came to her door, she'd give you a shove! Now get out of here, frog!" Kermit
then speaks to an old man who lives in a hat ("He could bark like a dog, and meow like a
cat"). He eventually meets the old lady, who makes him take care of her children.
Humpty Dumpty
Kermit begins by interviewing one of the King's horses, who
feeds him a load of puns, which Kermit jots down on his notepad: "Well, he's a good egg."
"Uh huh, good egg." "Not what you'd call hard-boiled." "Uh-huh, not hard-boiled." He then
interviews Humpty Dumpty, who's safely on top of his wall. Eventually, Kermit gives him a
hearty congratulatory slap on the back,and, of course, he falls off. Sirens go off, horses and
men show up, and there's a lot of talking and confusion. We hear the voice of the horse from
earlier talking with a man: "What happened?" "It was the frog that did it." "Somebody get the
frog out of here!" 
Old MacDonald had a Farm
Old MacDonald (terrific Scottish accent), has become wealthy and famous from his song, and
in order to repay the animals who made him what he is, has converted the Farm into a health
club. I remember two aristocratic pigs, "I'll meet you down by the pool, Muffy." They do a
version of the song with a stretch, stretch here and a jump, jump there, and Kermit becomes
exhausted.
Peter Piper
Kermit goes to Piper's pickle patch and meets Papa Piper, Piper Piper, all sorts of Pipers
except Peter. Eventually Kermit is covered with peppers.
From the Planet Koozbane
There's also one from the Muppet Show where he broadcasts from the planet Koozbane,
with the Koozbanian Foob, the most sought after food on the planet. Kermit's asking him how
they survive. The answer is "evolution", as the Foob turns more and more into a Kermit
look-alike, and it ends in a fight between who's the real one.
Cinderella at the Ball
Kermit asks Cinderella to describe her outfit, and the Prince (brilliantly played by Guy Smiley)
breaks in with a yuppie accent: "I'd be glad to. I'm wearing a sky blue velvet jumpsuit with
ruffles at the neck and cuffs ... the crown that dad gave me, with jewels and sparkly things ..."
Meanwhile Cinderella realizes it's almost midnight and leaves; after he's through describing his
ensemble, the Prince finds her slipper ("Heigh ho, what's this? A glass slipper!"). He ends up
dropping and breaking the slipper ("Easy come, easy go"), forgeting about "Cindy", and
soliciting dances from other ballgoers "The prince is free to dance! Who wants to dance with
the prince? Get your tickets! ... Hey, Frog, you wanna dance? No, I suppose not."
George Washington's Father's Cherry Orchard
Kermit interviews George Washington's father about the famous cherry tree incident;
meanwhile little George keeps chopping down trees, and telling the truth after each one: "I
cannot tell a lie, I chopped down that cherry tree with my little hatchet". Kermit keeps count
of the trees ("Let's see, there were 1776 trees, now there are 1775 trees; 1776 take away 1
is 1775") and George's father regrets giving him the hatchet ("I wish we'd gotten him that
wagon instead"). He continues discussing his son's peculiarities with Kermit ("Chop, chop,
chop; truth, truth, truth. Chop, chop, chop; truth, truth, truth."), finally explaining that there's
one thing the boy has to learn: "TO STOP CHOPPING DOWN MY CHERRY TREES!
C'mere, George! Gimme that hatchet!" The 1774th tree falls on Kermit, who returns us to our
regularly scheduled program with cherries and sticks on his head.
A little greeting from Kermit!