Jeff's Joke of the day! (or week)
Note: Most of the "jokes" below are TRUE!!! Thanks Mike.
IT'S SO HOT IN TEXAS.....The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms
out of the ground.
IT'S SO HOT IN TEXAS.....The potatoes cook underground, and all you have
to
do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
IT'S SO HOT IN TEXAS.....Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to
keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
IT'S SO DRY IN TEXAS THAT...The cows are giving evaporated milk.
IT'S SO DRY IN TEXAS THAT...The trees are whistling for the dogs.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You no longer associate bridges (or
rivers)
with water.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You can say 110 degrees without
fainting.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth
off.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You can make instant sun tea.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You learn that a seat belt makes a
pretty
good branding iron.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...The temperature drops below 95, you feel
a
bit chilly.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You discover that in July, it takes only
2
fingers to drive your car.
.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You discover that you can get a sunburn
through your car window.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You notice the best parking place is
determined by shade instead of distance.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...Hot water now comes out of both taps.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...It's noon in July, kids are on summer
vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You actually burn your hand opening the
car
door.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You break a sweat the instant you step
outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...No one would dream of putting vinyl
upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is,
"What
if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to
death?"
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...You realize that asphalt has a liquid
state.
Updated Aug. 4, 2000