What do you get when you play a country & western album backwards?
Your wife back, your house back, your dog back . . .
- I can never pass a honky-tonk, and there's one on my way home.
- I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
- When the phone don't ring, you'll know it's me.
- I only miss you on the days that end in "Y".
- I'd love to live with you again, but then I couldn't live with me.
- Hey, Barnum and Bailey, can you use another clown?
- I've closed my eyes to the cold hard truth I'm seeing.
- It don't hurt me half as bad as holding you feels good.
- It seems the best in you brings out the worst in me.
- Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life.
- The worst you ever gave me was the best I ever had.
- So, I'll wait for her, looking out my window through the pain.
- You went out of your way to walk on me.
- I don't know what it is, but I sure miss it when it's gone.
- It wouldn't be so bad if it hadn't been so good.
- You can't make a heel toe the mark.
- She's the trip I've been on since you've been gone.
- Flushed from the bathroom of my heart.
- It's been a hard day today, I need an easy one tonight.
- My wife ran off with my best friend, and I miss him.
- Lay back down and love me and leave the leavin' for later on.
- I turned out to be the only hell my mama ever raised.
- It's commode hugging time in the valley
- When the hangover's over, your memory's still hangin' on.
- I borrowed the shoes, but the holes are mine.
- If practice makes perfect, I'm leaving you perfect this time.
- I haven't seen you with the lights on for two nights in a row.
- Remember to remind me I'm leaving.
- Just because you got to first base don't mean you're home free.
- I knew I'd lean, but I never thought I'd fall.
- You can't even do wrong right.
- She's waiting on the tables while she's waiting for the tables to turn.
- When she's got me where she wants me, she don't want me.
- It's the bottle against the Bible in the battle for Daddy's soul.
- Sunday "Love lifted Me"; Monday "Let the good times roll".
- When she left me all she left was a reason to drink.
- She took everything but the blame.
- Liars: 1; Believers: zero.
- I've got a funny feeling I won't be feeling funny long.
- Old Glenn lived himself to death.
- While I was busy holding on, you were busy letting go.
- How long can I keep loving you if she keeps loving me.
- All I do when I go to bed is sleep now.
- Nine o'clock boy in a 12 o'clock town.
- How can a whisky six years old whip a man that's 32?
- She's just a name-dropper, and now she's dropping mine.
- You rubbed it in all wrong.
- Your love left a ring around my finger.
- It's bad when you're caught with the goods.
- How come my dog don't bark when you come around?
- If fingerprints showed up on skin, wonder whose I'd find on you?
- Does my ring hurt your finger when you go out at night?
- I bought the shoes that just walked out on me.
- He's walking in my tracks but he can't fill my shoes.
- For better or for worse but not for long.
- I can't build a bridge to get over you.
- If today was a fish, I'd throw it back.
- If you want to keep the beer cold, put it next to my ex-wife's heart.
- I need somebody bad tonight, cause I just lost somebody good.
- Red necks, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer.
- I'm sick and tired of waking up so sick and tired.
- Four on the floor and a fifth under the seat.
- You can't go in the red playing Bluegrass.
- It takes me all night to do what I used to do all night long.
- The only thing I can count on now is my fingers.
- Send a dozen roses up to her and pour four for me.
- The devil is a woman and she wears a short red dress.
- The girl who waits on tables used to wait for me at home.
- I'll tread water as long as you think you can make it rain.
- She even woke me up to say goodbye.
- I gave her a ring and she gave me back the finger.
- Walk out backwards, so I'll think you're coming in.
- When I'm alone I'm in bad company.
- I only feel at home when I'm gone.
- When you leave Amarillo, turn out the lights.
- You pretend I'm him and I'll pretend you're her.
- What's the use to try to get over you; I've still got you all over me.
- I'd rather get picked up here than putdown at home.
- Our marriage was a failure, but our divorce ain't workin' out either.
- Leave if you don't want to lose what you came with.
- How can anything that sounds so good make me feel so bad?
- I'm going to the dogs with a bunch of swingin' cats.
- If you get the feeling I don't love you, feel again.
- She'll love you to pieces, but she won't put you together again.
- From the gutter to you is not up.
- She ain't much to see, but she looks good through the bottom of a glass.
- I was greener than the grass we laid on.
- My good girl treats me bad, but my bad girl treats me good.
- This time I hurt her more that she loves me.
- If you're ever in Houston, look me down.
- I don't mind getting burned if I can just be near the glow.
- You can't build a fire in the rain.
- Please put her out of my misery.
- It took a hell of a man to take my Ann, but it sure didn't take him long.
- On the muscle of my arm there's a red and blue tattoo, saying, "Fort Worth, I love you!"
- I can still hear the music in the restroom, but they can't see the hurt that's on my face.
- She feels like a new man tonight.
- I'll be under the table when I get over you.
- She went to the bathroom and never came back.
- I'm going to put a bar in my car and drive myself to drink.
- You're going to love yourself in the morning, 'cause I'm gonna love you all night long.
- A sad song don't care whose heart it breaks.
- Old King Kong was a little old monkey compared to my love for you.
- I wouldn't take you to a dogfight even if I thought you could win.
- Them that ain't got can't lose.
- I may fall again, but I'll never get up this slow.
- You're the busiest memory in town.
- You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
- I'm too low to get high.
- I've never had a thing that ain't been used.
- It was always so easy to find an unhappy woman until I started looking for mine.
- Thank God and Greyhound you're gone.
- She caught me lying and then she caught a train.
- You've already put the big old tears in my eyes; why must you throw dirt in my face?
- The more I think of you, the less I think of me.
- I'm going someplace I hope I find.
- What good's a girl when there's a woman nearby?
- Don't cry down my back, baby, you might rust my spurs.
- I can't afford to half my half again.
- There's no use running if you're on the wrong side.
- When your cup of love is full, I'm begging you to pour it all on me.
- Layin' here, lyin' in bed.
- I can't find you anywhere but gone.
- I'm ashamed to be here, but not ashamed enough to leave.
- It's morning and I still love you.
- You must think my bed's a bus stop, the way you come and go.
- She stepped on my heart and stomped that sucker flat!
- The bridge washed out, I can's swim and my baby's on the other side.
- Forever, for us, wasn't nearly as long as we planned.
- Just in time to be too late.
- I'm afraid to come home early without warning.
- If you can fake it, I just might make it.
- The work we done was hard; at night we'd sleep 'cause we were tard.
- He made me dance before the music started.
- I've been a long time leaving, but I'll be a long time gone.
- What it is my woman can't do, can't be done.
- If you keep checking up on me, I'm checking out on you.
- The eyes I'm looking in at, ain't looking back at me.
- Don't tell me you're sorry, I know how sorry you are.
- The older the violin, the sweeter the music.
- How much more can she stand and still stand me?
- I gave up "good morning, darling," and "we love you, daddy," for this.
- A woman a day keeps my man away.
- It's not love, but it's not bad!
- She's just too good to be true, but she is.
- I feel better all over more than anywhere else.
- Don't come home a-drinkin' with lovin' on your mind.
- Do what you can, but behave yourself.
Jim Eason - KGO Newstalk Radio
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