Humor

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My mother told my father to tell me about the birds and the bees. He took me to Coney Island, pointed to a couple making love under the boardwalk, and said, "Your mother wants you to know that the birds and the bees do the same thing." __George Burns

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Extreme Bumper Stickers

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learners permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
White water is over when the First Lady sings.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...or something like that.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect.

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Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

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DustBunny Facts

Where to find them or " The Natural Environment"
Dustbunnies have been around for centuries and are an untouched resource of easy-care pets for our busy life styles. They have lived quietly alongside us and have already been domesticated. You probably have one or two which have "adopted" you and you wouldn't even know it. The Dustbunny seeks out spaces that receive little traffic, and preferably dark - although some do become curious of the outside world.

DustBunny Defenses

Dustbunnies have their own paratrooper squads that one must be on the look-out for. However, since the Dustbunnies do not have their own Airforce they depend on fan blades to transport them, so invasions usually take plan during warm summer days. There are also small legions of foot soldiers that parade across the floor when the ventilation units are turned on. When heavy objects are moved they will scurry for cover. This is the best time for capture.

DustBunny Social Life

Dust Bunnies are very prolific. There is no such thing as ONE DustBunny. Left to their own vices, dustbunnies will reproduce at alarming rates. Dustbunnies like to use stereo-systems as their own personal Singles Clubs. Dancing usually takes place on the older models with a LP turntable, as the laser show of the CD drives have been linked to Fur Cancer in studies conducted at DBU (Dust Bunny University). Believe it or not DISCO is still their favorite music. If you find any dancing on the head of you needle, please remove gently and place off to the side so they can catch their breath.

DustBunny Care

Care for dustbunnies is very low maintenance. Feeding: Dust Bunnies will find their own food. They have a tendency to turn vegetarian - if you do not wish them to eat your houseplants you may wish to gently wipe them off the leaves with a gentle but firm "no". Dustbunnies need a quiet, dark place to make a hutch or home, under beds and dressers are the ideal spots. If you wish them to find their own space, don't be surprised if you catch them crawling the walls and hanging from the chandeliers. Dust Bunnies prefer small hidden places where no on looks.

DustBunny Health Care

Unlike many pets, Dustbunnies do not need inoculations or veterinary visits. If your Dustbunny begins to look peaked, build it a nest of laundry lint and in a few days your pet will be looking fine and frisky.

Making Your Home DustBunny Friendly

If you are missing an item, check the Dust Bunny hutch. Unlike Raccoons who will actively look for goodies, Dustbunnies will only take what they can get easily especially anything left on the floor near their home.

Natural Ememies Of The DustBunny

Giant sucking machines (i.e. Hoovers, Kirbys, Dust Vacs, etc.) keep them as far away from your Dustbunny if you don't want to scare them.

Glossary Of Terms

How to speak Dust Bunny
Underground Railroad: Air ducts
Express Lane: Using the air ducts while furnace or AC is in use
Caribianne Vacation: Dryer lint screen

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