Grandpa and granddaugher were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"

"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"

"Yes, He did," the older man answered.

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.

At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

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Bill Gates Bought Apple Stock??

A report from the fly on the wall . . .

Bill Gates to his CFO:

"You idiot, I said SNAPPLE!"

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A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told,

"You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."

The frog said,

"That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," said the psychic, "Next term--in her biology class."

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I understand they're replacing "Tickle Me Elmo" with

"Bite Me Marv".

[ Do I hear a lot of GROANS????? ]

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For your Birthday, I fed all the facts about you into a computer and asked if you're really as good and wholesome and pure as you seem . . . and here's what I found out
Computers can Laugh!!

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What little song does Santa sing
to make his reindeer behave?

"My bologna has a first name,
it's C...O...M...E...T,
My bologna has a second name it's . . . "

~~~

Music for the Costco parking lot . . .
"Sleigh bells ring,
are you listening?
You better be or
you'll get your butt run over!!"

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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner

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