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JOKES & QUOTES by Women and for Women Alone we can do so little; Don't Compromise yourself. together we can do so much. You are all you've got. ~Helen Keller~ ~Janis Joplin~ We women talk too much, nevertheless we only say half of what we know. ~Nancy Astor~ Laughter for the heart: Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men? A: Government bonds mature. You Know You're A Mom When: You use your own saliva to clean your child's face. You have time to shave only one leg at a time. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend. You can't bear to give away baby clothes...it's so final. Ways To Drive Men Crazy Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations." Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.) "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book together.