Dear Bunghole~
I got a penny stuck up my butt cuz someone told me to put it in my crack and squeeze so my butt wont stick out!!!! Den i lost it! Now what i supposed to do?
~Stuck
Faithful Citizen, Stuck~
Well, Stuck, if you're stupid enough to put the penny up ur butt in the first place, then you deserve what you got. To get the penny out, take some Gas-X� medicine. That will give you gas, and you will fart the penny out. ENJOY!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
I'm a 14 year old bi crossdresser. I want you, Dorky.
~Treavor47
Faithful Citizen, Treavor47~
Well, Treavor47, I know I am *oh so beautiful* but you must face it, I am a bunghole. Bungholes and humans must not mix. And for your bi crossdressing thing, just make sure your pantyhoes dont get runners, that really sux!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
I AM CORNHOLIO! eheh I NEED TEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!
YOU MUST GIMMIE TEEPEE SO MY BUNGHOLE DOES NOT GET
ANGERED! IF YOU ANGER MY BUNGHOLE, IT SHALL GET REVENGE
SO GIMMIE TEEPEE! AND PICATTA FOR MY BUNGHOLE! IGSHFIAEW
WOIAHTIYEAIHF BOW DOWN TO DA ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE,BUNGWHORE!
uhmm and uhh DIS FRIENDS SONG IS IRRITATING MY BUNGHOLE!
HOW DARE YOU IRRITATE MY BUNGHOLE! GRRR!! YOU SHALL DIE DIE
DDDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!! AND YOUR BOYFRIEND,HE SUCKS!
SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS! U SUCK TOO! NOW GIMMIE TEEPEE AND
PICATTA FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!!!
Faithful Citizen, Cornholio~
Cornholio, since you are Bunky's bunghole, I guess I should be nice to you, right? But shouldn't you be asking Bunky for advice? I mean, since both you and I are bungholes, we can't get advice from other bungholes, it just doesn't make sense. I apologise for the friends song, you'll have to talk to Bunky about that one though, she put it on here. I think she likes it. And about my boyfriend, I think you mean Dorky's boyfriend. You'll have to complain to her about that one. If you want some Picatta, go to an italian restaurant, you should be able to find some there. As for the TeePee, go to your local food store. I hope you're feeling better, fellow bunghole.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
One day was walking and dis person came up to me and goes MMMMM taco and tried to take a bite out of me!! Well I tried putting REALLY SPICY hot sauce on me so it wouldn't happen again but that didn't work!! WHAT EVER SHALL I DO?
~Taco
Faithful Citizen, Taco~
Well, Taco, you know that you shouldn't be in public without a safty shell! Yesh, that's right, a safty shell. If you don't know what that is, it's a metal-coated taco shell that you wear when you go out in public. You need to get one, badly! Also, if the same person trys to bite you again, you might consider buying an electric shell, so you can electricute the person trying to bite you!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
A while ago, Cybz' sis turned me into a cat. And now I live with Cybz. When it happened I followed her dad home. I have a little problem because, I got a piece of poop stuck on da fur by my butt.. and it wont come off. PLEASE TELL KITTY! TELL KITTY! She smart.
~Bula
Faithful Citizen, Bula~
Well, it would be 100% easier to answer your question if you actually made sense, but I'm going to try anyways. I'm guessing that you want to know how to get the poop off of your fur. Well, if you feel up to it, take a bath in the toilet. All you have to do is lean over, stick your butt in, and flush. It should remove the poop. Be sure not to get flushed down the toilet though!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Bunghole, I lost my foot fungus and now my chest won't talk to me
~SuX
Faithful Citizen, SuX~
It is such an honor to be able to talk with you! You are one of the few people who get a chance to talk to their chest while having foot fungus. But, eventually, all foot fungus goes away, as in your case, and your chest will stop talking to you. I apologise for this, but it's just the path of nature. If you really miss talking to your chest that much, you can always paint a smiley face on it. In some cases, if you paint a smiley face on your chest, it will come back to life and talk to you! Good luck!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Do you ever get the feeling that cheese is watching you while your eating grape jelly???
~ChEeSe BoY
Faithful Citizen, ChEeSe BoY~
Well Cheeseboy, I regret to tell you that I've never had that experience. Although, there is one time when I was making a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. When I was spreading the jelly, I felt like the peanut-butter was jealous! So then I started spreading peanut-butter, but then I felt like the jelly was getting jealous! Well, to make a long story short, I ended up using up 2 whole jars of peanut-butter and jelly. Well, ANYWAYS, here's a solution to your problem. If the cheese starts to get on your nerves when you're eating grape jelly, eat the cheese too!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Uhh, I'm an ice cube, and I'm melting. Hurry it's important. Oh yah, and the freezer is closed and I have no arms to reach the handle. I'm rolling on da keyboard. HELP I drippin in da kracks.
~Ice Kube
Faithful Citizen, Ice Kube~
Well, since you can't get the freezer open and this is such an emergency, how about running outside? It's cold enough, trust me. I hope that solves your problem! (if you haven't melted by now)
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
I don't like your page. What should I do?
~The Great Honorable *TeckBitch
Faithful Citizen, Tech Bi*gasp*tch~
Well, first of all, you need to refrain from using such harsh words in your name. My poor wittle kitty kat is crying because of you! You should be ashamed! If you don't like our page, there's a simple solution. Don't come back! It's that easy.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
uhmm Bunghole...dere's no one else I can talk to..I think
you're prolly da only one who understands dis kinda thing..
okie well anyways, My head always hurt, Im ALWAYS tired,
and I poop too much...can u relate? And uhm..what should
I do about dis?
~Owie
Faithful Citizen, Owie~
Hmm.... well, for your head problem, take some aspirin. If you're always tired, maybe you should sleep longer, like 12 hours a day. For your pooping problem, maybe you should QUIT EATING SO MUCH. *duh* a simple solution to your problem.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
DORKY I WANT YOU! I WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME IN CERTAIN PLACES! OVER THE INTERNET!! like: *touch's there* OH YEAH
~STALKER
Faithful Citizen, STALKER~
*ahem* CYBZ... I'm starting to wonder about you.. and anyways, I really don't want to know about your obsession with Dorky. Maybe you should tell HER this, not me. I'm just her bunghole.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Uhh, I'ama peenut and buttar sandewidge and (sorrya foru thy akcenti probalem) asomaone isa trying to eata me! What sheud i deu? ALLPP MEA! HERA THEY COM!
~Sandy
Faithful Citizen, Sandy~
Poor poor Sandy. Well, since you're a peanut butter sandwich, maybe you should LET them eat you. It's the only logical thing to do. If you REALLY don't wanna get eatin, get a dog to pee on you. Trust me, they'll back off.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
AHH! I have a prob. Ok see here, I like this one guy a lot, and we flirt ALL the time, but any time i actually get to talk to him, my friends come up to me and start yellin at him and they don't like him at all, and his friend's don't like me because they are PREPS and i am a Slacker but i think he likes me cuz we always talk to each other but they're trying to take over the world. HELP
~Lepadina
Faithful Citizen, Lepadina~
hmm... well.. I know this is gonna be hard, but could you possibly IGNORE what your friends are sayin? They obviously have no idea what they're talkin about, so maybe you should tell them to back off. Don't worry about his friends not liking you, they're prolly jerks anyways (who needz 'em)!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Bitch isn't a harmful word. It simply means female wolf, fox, dog, or any other canine. Heh hEh. My problem now is that i still don't like yer page
~TeckBitch*
Faithful Citizen, TeckBi*gasp*tch~
Well, maybe YOU don't think that bi*gasp*tch is a harmful word, but it IS! And if you're calling yourself a bi*gasp*tch, does that mean you're a dog? If you'd like, I can treat you like one. *kick* Oh yesh, and uhh DONT COME BACK.. please.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Hey Kristin's bunghole!!! Your page is awesome!!! Your friend is nice too!!! Love the ideas love the bunghole!!!!! Catch ya later babe!! I love Bryan Ross
~Carrie
Faithful Citizen, Carrie~
*bows down to almighty one* You truly are a faithful citizen.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
AAAAHHHHHHH!!! MOMMY SAID SHE NOT GONNA GET ME A GLASS
OF WATER CUZ I GOT A 66% IN LANGUAGE! I NO WANNA GET
UP AND GET IT! grr i gonna die of thirst!!!!!
~Thirsty
Faithful Citizen, Thirsty~
Well.. hmm.. maybe you need to bring up your language grade. I mean, how is it humanly possible to have a 66% in LANGUAGE? As for now, you'll just have to peel your butt off your chair and get a drink.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
foidgasioads Okie..I have dis problem..I've been sick
for a while, and strange things keep happening to me.
Like, pencils start chasing me around the house, my kat
has learned how to fly, and my dog got a face lift. A lot
of other strange things have been happening too. Walls
keep getting closer and closer, closing in on me. And I've
even tried warning the walls to stay back. I threaten
to kick them in da nads, but they just don't listen. So when
I kick them, I end up hurtin myself cuz the walls grab
my leg and twist it back and then start biting me and and and
uhm I THINK IM GOING CRAZY! IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME AT ALL?
~Cornfused
Faithful Citizen, Cornfused~
You poor poor child. I'm sorry, but there is absolutly nothing I can do to help you. Maybe you should try moving into a different house. Make sure you buy one with padded walls, so you don't hurt yourself. If the walls give you any more trouble, threaten to put flowered wallpaper on them.. that should make them stop.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Sick! I DON"T WANNA TOUCH DORKY!
YUCK YUCK YUCK!
That was NOTETH MEITH!.
It was my bro in law hehe.
he's a fag (cute, but fag)
~Cybz
Faithful Citizen, Cybz~
Suurreee... I believe you... I really do... *whatever*
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
B*tch also means an OPINIONATED WOMAN
~TeckB*tch
Faithful Citizen, TeckB*tch~
Well, maybe you're just a little too opinionated...
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Where is your picture? You have a great and interesting page.
~Hank
Faithful Citizen, Hank~
Hmm... good question. The answer is, I have no picture. I'm a bunghole. No one is worthy of seeing me.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
The other day I was playing with my pet weasel and my cat came in the room and started chasing the weasel. Well round and round they went till finally the weasel ran right up my bunghole! Well anyways my problem is that I cant get him out. All day and night I can feel him scratching in there. I'm starting to wonder if my Weasel is gay and likes it up there! Please help me get him out! And this stupid friends song is irratating him! Ouch! Damn it stop......stupid weasel! Do you think i should try a plunger???
~Buttweasel
Faithful Citizen, Buttweasel~
*gasp* That must be dreadfully painful! ouch! Ok, what you need to do is find a girl weasel, stick her at the entrance to your butt, and hit her really hard. The male weasel will run out of your butt, bite you, take the girl, and then run away.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
i dont like talking to your bunghole, because it's ddddddddddiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! And if you think about it, a bunghole is a butthole, so if you're a bungwhore, that makes you a buttwhore. Just thought I would inoculate that to you. Byeeeeeee!
~Lauren and Lynn
Faithful Citizens, Lauren and Lynn~
If you don't like talking to my bunghole, then why do you keep doing it? I'm not forcing you to. And yes, if you are a bungwhore, that would make you a buttwhore. Thank you for that analogy. Feel free to clean out my bunghole at any time if you'd like, since you think it's so dirty.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Your dragon tried to eat me so I killed it....but he came back and now vows for vengence. I'm scared..what should I do??
~Trixie Durst
Faithful Citizen, Trixie Durst~
Well, for starters, you shouldn't have messed with the dragon. You should've just let it eat you, the world would've been much better off without another dragon-killer. But, since you messed with the yittle dragon, you shall die now. Sorry.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Wow, this site sucks da' shit. This is the most stereotypical geocities pile of horse poo poo I've ever seen. You girls are some pretty big morons. Valley girls isn't even a term that begins to describe how dumb you people are.
~Steve
Faithful Citizen, Steve~
Dude, calm down. There's no need to get all huffy with the bunghole. And FYI, we're not morons. We're actually pretty smart, or we wouldn't have been able to make this site in the first place. Bunky could be considered a moron though...
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
Hopefully you can help. My situation goes like this, my girlfriend let me
give her a 'rim job', and she came when I gave it to her. I want to do it again, it really turned me on, big time. Problem is, the girlfriend is now weirded out by the whole (no pun intended) thing. What is wrong with showing a bunghole a little love?
~Rim and Licky
Faithful Citizen, Rim and Licky~
Dude... that's just nasty. Sorry, but I have no advice for you. We bungholes do not like to be licked. If you want to show a bunghole some love, please, PLEASE stay away from it.
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
How does one properly care for a bunghole? Do you trim
the hair, do you shave the hair around it? What about
'dingle berries' (you know hangers on)? They are
painful to pull off you know. Then what about anal sex,
or 'rim jobs', my boyfriend is now interested in my
bunghole (and he does not want to talk to it). Wad ya
think? How does Dorky care for you, would she let a
boy play with you? I need advice, my bunghole is
counting on you!
~Anna to his Freud
Faithful Citizen, Anna to his Freud~
To properly care for a bunghole, you must keep all boys away from it. Bungholes do not like to be played with. As for dingle berries, maybe you should try taking a shower... it helps. Dorky is very nice to me, and she keeps all boys away. I like to have my privacy, and that means NO BOYS. Sheesh people.. whats wrong with you all? Stop molesting bungholes!!!
~DoRKYZ BuNGHoLe HaS SPoKeN~
Dear Bunghole~
How does it feel to be a complete loser?
~?
Faithful Citizen ~
Well now.. you obviously dont think I'm a COMPLETE loser or you would've left your name or something. I personally dont think I'm a loser.. I think I'm quite talented. Do you know of any other bunghole who can talk? I think not.
