Hello, my name is Anna, I am 21 years old and I live in the Northwest of England. If you asked people who knew me to describe me they would probably say I was a nice person (I hope), a little quiet at times, a little loud at times, definitely not a morning person but overall pretty normal. Nothing about my life is extraordinary or different; Pretty dull actually, lol. I work two jobs and rent my own house.

I'm not crazy or psychotic or a danger to anyone else but I do self-harm � I cut myself.

At the moment I am what I describe as recovering. I haven't cut since July 2000 and I don't plan to ever do it again, but I have thought that before and been wrong.

UPDATE! I cut again :-(, on 6th April 2002. First time for a 21 Months. I didn't think I would ever do it again. I only did 6 cuts and when I did I hoped it wouldn't make me feel better and then I would never want to do it again. And I don't honestly know if it did make me feel any better but now I keep looking at my arm and wishing there where more cuts, lots more, and then when I looked at it I would feel reassured. God does that make any sense? I hate my scars yet the thought of them going away scares me.

UPDATE 2!!! Cut again (sigh) April 25th, 11 cuts on my left lower arm, not very deep at all. Trying not to do it again.

The longest I have been without cutting was nearly two years and I thought that I was "cured". Know I don't think that will ever happen. I think its like being an alcoholic in a way. An alcoholic who doesn�t drink is still an alcoholic because they could have that one drink that would tip them over the edge into addiction at any time. Personally I don�t seem my self harm as purely an addiction to me, it's my coping mechanism and despite how irrational it must appear too others, I doubt I would have survived my life so far without it. It's like an old friend and enemy at the same time. Something I am trying to escape, while I am not quite sure I am ready to give it up. So I am trying to find out all I can about this condition, affliction, whatever it is??????

This website hopefully will help me to understand myself as well as others who self harm. I hope it will offer hope to others like me that they are not alone and give an insight to those on the outside into this bizarre little community of damaged human beings.

I hope you enjoy your peak into my world, if you have any comments, suggestions or would like to contribute please email me.

Take Care

Anna

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