Get your own Free Home Page Disclaimer: The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement is intended.
Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission.
******
Summary: Josh/Donna fluff with a sappy song thrown in too! You have been warned.
Notes: (1) I understand a term of office would end in the winter but I wanted to set this in the summer so excuse my taking dramatic license. (2) Congresswoman King is a fictional character. (3) In this story President Bartlet only served a four-year term because he decided not to run for re-election.
******
Josh left the cacophony of the ballroom behind in favour of the relative tranquility of the outside terrace. Inside there was a mixture of the merriment to be found when close colleagues got together blended with a melancholy as those present knew that evening meant the end of an era. It was a final gathering for the staff of the Bartlet administration, a celebration and a farewell to mark the end of the president's four-year term of office.
The broad flagstone terrace ran the length of the ballroom and then some. A few groups gathered at tables enjoying the evening's warm breezes and the peacefulness of the outdoors. But it was not quiet or solitude that Josh sought. Rather, he was looking for someone.
He spied the lone figure standing at the railing where the terrace dissolved into darkness. He would not have seen her down there at the end of the walk if not for the pool of light cast by the floodlit fountain a bit below and beyond where she stood.
Donna was leaning with her arms on the railing, a champagne flute held idly in one hand. The slight wind toyed with tendrils of her hair and fluttered her light summer dress around her knees. She stared pensively off into the distant darkness.
Josh joined her at the wooden railing, standing close enough so that their elbows touched. He also looked out onto the hotel's well-manicured grounds.
"So," he began casually, like he hadn't been specifically seeking her out. "Wassup?"
"I'm just...thinking." Donna sounded oddly reserved.
He turned his gaze upon her. "Thinking about what?"
Donna sighed. "About how it's over. It's all over and I'm going to miss everyone so much."
"Even me?" Josh asked straight-faced.
"Of course you." Donna playfully swatted at him and cracked a smile for a moment, but then the smile faded. "I'm going to miss you most of all," she said quietly.
Josh turned to look toward the fountain and they were silent for a moment until he spoke up, still keeping his gaze from hers.
"You don't have to miss me, you know. We could...stay together."
He looked back at her then, his expression showing both hope and uncertainty.
Donna was puzzled. "What do you mean? You want me to come work for you while you're on the lecture circuit?"
Josh took a breath. "No Donna, I don't want you to come work for me," he said slowly, softly. He reached down to take her hand in his own. "I just want you to be with me."
Realization dawned and Donna's jaw dropped. She stood staring stupidly at him for a moment before she closed her mouth and gave her head a slight shake.
"Josh, I'm leaving for California tomorrow morning to begin work running Congresswoman King's District Office. This is not the time to be telling me if you have some sort of deep feelings for me." Gently, she extricated her hand from his grasp.
"I know my timing is off," Josh said quickly, "but I didn't have the nerve before to tell you how I feel about you. It didn't seem appropriate before, anyway, for me to feel this way about you when you were working for me. But now, I can't let you go without trying to stop you, without letting you know that I've been half in love with you for years now."
Donna gasped. She reached out with a shaking hand to place her half-empty champagne glass on the railing in front of her.
"Your timing isn't just off. It's too late." With that, she whirled around and ran past Josh and down the nearby staircase. She marched off at a brisk pace along a pathway that led around the fountain.
Josh didn't stop her. He exhaled a long breath, ran a hand through his hair and cursed himself soundly for being the biggest fool in creation.
While he'd recognized his feelings for some time, this information was coming out of the blue for Donna. He was certain that she reciprocated those feelings to some extent as what he felt wasn't all for her. He sensed something between them as well.
However, he'd never felt pressed to make those feelings known to her. Donna had always been there and he'd simply believed that somehow they'd remain together. Plus he'd been hesitant to jeopardize their working relationship with intimacy. He'd felt he could wait, that the time would come for that.
Now he feared his hesitation might have jeopardized any future he might have had with her.
~*~
How can I convince you what you see is real
Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel
I was always reachin', you were just a girl I knew
I took for granted the friend I have in you
~*~
He'd been so careful to keep Donna at arm's length with respect to his deeper feelings for her. Hell, he'd even paraded a few girlfriends around in front of her. Not that any of those relationships had been long lasting. In retrospect, he knew he'd begun each of those relationships knowing they would never last.
Work was always a convenient excuse for not becoming too attached to any of the women in his life. He had claimed he was too busy to give the time and care to a relationship, and it had been true. He had thought briefly that he and Joey Lucas might have gone somewhere. Working together would have been beneficial rather than detrimental to the relationship as far as time spent together went. But it was just after Joey arrived on the scene that Josh began to realize what Donna was coming to mean to him.
~*~
I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever, the search is over
You were with me all the while
~*~
When those deeper feelings stirred, however, he was afraid of them. They worked so well together and he was reluctant to ruin that relationship, and more importantly fearful of losing their friendship if they entered into a romantic relationship and it soured.
Yet those anxieties did not stop him from falling headlong in love with her.
Josh suspected, no, he knew Donna returned his feelings to some degree. She was far more dedicated to her work, dedicated to him than even the most conscientious employee would be. He felt a bit of a cad for allowing her to have watched him stumble through a couple ill-fated relationships even after he realized she felt for him as more than a friend.
When he had dated, Donna had always seemed more amused by it than anything. She was the one who had consoled him when he and Joey had broken off their relationship. It was almost as though Donna knew that eventually he would realize that the perfect woman for him was right in front of him. That the woman he was meant to be with was Donna herself.
~*~
Can we last forever, will we fall apart
At times it's so confusing, these questions of the heart
You followed me through changes and patiently you'd wait
Till I came to my sense through some miracle of fate
~*~
He remembered with complete clarity the moment that he'd first recognized how he truly felt about her. The realization had stunned him.
It had been at another staff function, though that one a bit smaller in nature than the one they were at tonight. There had been music; people were dancing. An old disco number was playing and Donna had been up on the dance floor trying to teach Zo� and Charlie how to do the Hustle - evidently Donna had been retaining arcane knowledge since her childhood - much to the hilarity of all three.
Josh had watched Donna, her smile radiant and her eyes sparkling with enjoyment. It had occurred to him suddenly then that he wanted nothing so much as to be able to walk onto that dance floor, take Donna in his arms, draw her body against his and kiss her soundly and thoroughly.
Then it had hit him that he didn't just want to kiss her the once. He wanted to do it again and again every day from then on. He wanted to awaken to her voice every morning and have her touch be the last thing he felt as he went to sleep each night.
He had gone up to the dance floor. Not to kiss her but to show Zo� and Charlie his version of how the dance should be done. Donna had looked at him in surprise when he had joined them, and then she had grinned with delight.
At one point Josh had twirled Donna around and into his embrace. Upon having her that close to him he had not quite been willing to let her go right away. They had both been laughing as they danced, but at that moment their laughter faded. They had found themselves no longer dancing, no longer moving, instead standing still with their arms wound around each other, each gazing into the other's eyes. Something had passed between them then.
Josh would have kissed her, but Zo� and Charlie unwittingly picked that point in time to playfully bump into them. The moment had passed and nothing more had come of it. Except that Josh had gone home that night knowing he would no longer have to wonder if he'd ever find a woman with whom he could spend the rest of his life.
~*~
I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever, the search is over
You were with me all the while
~*~
Now he feared he had waited too long, that he was going to lose what he had finally found. However, Josh had never been one to give up without a fight. He turned away from the railing, sprinted down the stairs and strode off determinedly in the direction Donna had gone.
He found her seated on a bench on the other side of the fountain, hidden from view of the terrace by the fountain's massive base. She didn't look up at his approach but remained focused on her hands that were clenched together in her lap.
Josh sat down beside her. "I'm sorry, Donna. I...this is something I should have told you before."
"No kidding," Donna muttered.
"I'm making a mess of things but I need for you to know how I feel about you. I don't want to lose you." The last words came out in a whisper.
She finally looked up at him. "Josh, are you telling me that you're in love with me?"
"Yeah, in my own poor and roundabout way."
Donna closed her eyes for a second and then focused on him again. "How long have you felt like this?"
"I don't know. A couple years maybe," replied Josh.
"A couple years? A couple years?" Donna's voice rose in volume. "And you're telling me NOW?" She jumped up and took a couple steps toward the fountain, gazing at the dancing waters as she wrapped her arms around herself.
Josh leapt to his feet as well. "I was afraid to tell you before!" He felt the same fear now, only now he had something to fight for. "God Donna, you if anyone know my track record with office romances. Mandy, Joey... When I finally realized how I felt about you I was scared that if we got together I'd ultimately end up adding you to that number." Josh gestured as he spoke but it was to a blind audience as Donna still had her back to him.
"I even tried to forget I had feelings for you," Josh continued, his tone a bit softer. "It didn't work. I couldn't tell you how I felt but I couldn't stop loving you either."
~*~
Now the miles stretch out behind me
Loves that I have lost
Broken hearts lie victims of the game
Then good luck it finally struck
Like lightening from the blue
Every highway leading me back to you
~*~
Josh stepped in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She wouldn't meet his gaze. He placed his other hand to her chin and gently turned her head to face him before dropping that hand to her other shoulder.
"I know I'm an idiot," he told her quietly, yet in earnest. "But I also know that there could be something truly wonderful between us."
"I'm moving to California tomorrow, Josh," Donna said dully. "We've missed our chance."
"Donna, if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you don't think there could be something between us now then you can get on that plane tomorrow morning and I'll wish you well. But if you can't tell me that then you owe me the chance to prove that I love you."
~*~
Now at last I hold you, now all is said and done
The search has come full circle
Our destinies are one
So if you ever loved me
Show me that you give a damn
You'll know for certain
The man I really am
~*~
Donna looked at him, her eyes considering. Then she spoke.
"I'm going to California tomorrow."
Josh felt the blood drain from his face and a knot tighten in his gut.
"You'd better go home and pack," she added.
"What?" Josh voiced his confusion.
A smile slowly began to pull at the corners of Donna's mouth. She stepped up against him and twined her arms around his neck.
"If you want to prove that you're in love with me you're going to have to come to California to do it."
"Yeah?" Josh answered, a big grin transforming his expression from one of misery to one of jubilation.
"Yeah," Donna whispered in reply, her smile only inches away from his own. "But between you and me, I don't think I'm going to be a hard sell."
~*~
I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style
Then I touched your hand, I could hear you whisper
The search is over, love was right before my eyes
~*~
| Back to Three Insomniacs | Send feedback to: Vicki |
Copyright 2000 |
|
This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page