A list (or e-group of some sort) or a chat room is a community. A community has all sorts of people and rules. This is not rocket science.

A list (or a chat room) devoted to fan fiction (or even gardening for that matter) is not that much different in some ways to the local choir, the army, or the gang at the local. It has all kinds of people with all kinds of personalities. The mix is always different, but the basics are the same.

Because it's on the Internet, though, you only get the written word, even if you know one or several of those who are 'there' too. So despite those cute little smileys, what's missing is the expression on a face, a tone of voice or in extreme cases the physical gestures of anger, sorrow or joy. Misinterpretation often rules OK. Again, this is hardly anything new.

So… here comes a silly guide to lists that is strictly for fun. The characters are wildly exaggerated and I think everybody's a blend of several. No doubt I've missed a few… and contributions or arguments are most welcome.

Oh, and I'm damn certain I've played every role below and more, and will no doubt continue to do so.

No resemblance to any particular person is intended, so if you don't like it, see under 'easily offended'.

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The list mum – definitely rules OK. She created it, she has the delete button and other doodads, and she can make others into moderators or make things hard for you if she feels like it and/or you deserve it. She can also keep troublemakers out who would be a nuisance. If you don't like her list or chat room, the door's over there. Don't flounce on your way out.

The moderators – are second in command and they too have interesting little buttons. To be treated with respect. Like the list mum, they taking care of filing and tidying up and announcements – stuff that a lot of us would be too lazy to do anyway.

The 'first few' – whether moderators or not – have sort of taken up their residence here. They may know something about past threads you don't or can give you a few tips. Ideally, they don't do the cyber-equivalent of a swagger and/or make newbies feel about half an inch tall.

The lurkers – are those who don't post (or chat). One presumes they read posts or other stuff in the files now and then. It's their right. Who doesn't lurk somewhere? De-lurking also happens and can be the trigger for someone to move on to another category. Little introductions usually form part of the ceremony, plus a discussion of whatever item caused them to emerge from lurkdom. A 'glad you de-lurked' response is then in order. Give 'em a chance or they'll crawl back into their hole again (or slam a door).

The steamrollers – happily fewer than the above, need to comment on everything, join in everything whether appropriate or not and generally take over. For a few topics, and now and then, it's usually OK – being bouncy is fine. Commenting (over and over) on every topic and all the time is an invitation to press the delete button or use 'block' on a chat.

The critics – criticise. The word 'criticism' can of course be positive… but one sometimes wonders if they can find anything good about the list, its members, their stories, the fandom, or anything else. They're usually not ecstatic when somebody turns the tables on them at times, at which point they mutate and often join the ranks of the 'easily offended'.

The gushers – love everything. From stories to the characters to the other members. Everyone is wonderful, life is great, all stories are just amazing. Almost as categorical as their opposites, the critics, but perhaps just slightly easier to live with... depending on your patience.

The flouncers – flounce. Often when they're heading for the door because they're angry about something – usually other people's posts. They have an annoying habit of committing 'net suicide' and then turning up again not long afterwards.

The easily offended – can take offence at anything. Closely related to the flouncers, but they hang in there, ready for the next onslaught and to be victimised yet again. Sometimes they moan publicly, sometimes privately. Every new topic is a potential threat to them. 'Indignant' usually characterises their posts or comments.

The stirrers – like to see a good bit of friction rather than a decent piece of fiction. In fact they invite it rather than put their foot in something unwittingly like others do. They're not always vicious, but they can forget others are more sensitive than they are. The easily offended are allergic to them.

The rebels – don't want to do anything like the others. They pop up to break a rule or two, play 'critic' or 'serious' or whatever they feel like as long as it's 'different'. Not team players at all, and can even stir a little at times.

The serious ones – don't like stuff about patched jeans or other frivolous things. They only want deep discussions and find mindless fluff annoying. They tend to pontificate, but can also turn into flouncers rather easily. Chat, too, is an opportunity for in-depth analysis rather than a gossip that slides into the gutter. They can also do 'easily offended' if somebody would rather concentrate on neoprene, slash, etc.

The survivors – have rhino hide after a while. They offend and get offended, but they shrug it off and remain for the good bits. They might be a tad cynical at times, as they've seen it all – probably several times. They never tire of crotch shots, or an endless re-hash of one of the regularly appearing thorny issues although they might not be particularly patient with gushers, flouncers, steamrollers or the easily offended.

The ideal list member – is a rare bird indeed. These people must be both witty and serious, have extra-strong rhino hide, know when to avoid OT stuff and when to post it, and are nice to newbies and the Powers that Be alike. They write wonderful fiction and always give feedback to the others. They know everything but don't brag about it, and even their criticism is of the positive type and leaves no room for misinterpretation. Sometimes, their halo gets a bit tight.

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The rules – are created by the list mum unless she asks for input from others. They may be long and complicated or virtually non-existent. But they are the rules, meaning that a 'no slash' list, for example, is what it says. If the rules say no OT posts, no me-too posts, no cross-posts, no on-list feedback, no this, no that, a few doors may slam loudly and permanently, but at least people know what they're getting.

If there are no rules to speak of then fine, but don't complain that there should be. Go and create a list of your own or live with it.

The unwritten rules – tend to creep up on you. If you've just joined, you might not know that MaryAnn can say what she likes while SarahJane gets jumped on for the same thing. Like all communities, this happens. So lurk, head for the door, or jump in. Your choice.

The topics – of course depend on the rules to some extent. OT posts can be fun and tolerated now and then.. New babies, new jobs etc. are usually fine, particularly if you have mates on the list (real or online). The state of your strawberry patch or your mother-in-law's bitchy comments might be less appreciated, particularly if particular if the Rules say 'no OT'. Go find another list or chat room for that.
The fun part is that a fan fiction list can mean a lot of things. The characters, the stories, the pictures, and… other topics. Not all will interest everybody. A discussion on needlepoint pictures of Bodie and Doyle, for instance, might not appeal to you personally but other equally frivolous things could strike a chord (courgettes, anyone?). Tastes differ, OK? Start a thread and see what happens.

The in-jokes – which can become OT – are quite fun. Or at least for those who are 'in'. Like 'in topics' these usually die their own death eventually, perhaps accompanied by doors slamming in fury or closing quietly in utter boredom.

The in-topics – can be anything and digress or multiply into sub-topics. Some come up over and over. Some attract dozens of reactions and things can heat up. Result? (apart from door-slamming) – at worst acrimony, at best a fascinating discussion on something to do with writing. Or patched jeans. Or whatever.

Posts – are what you say. Or what you don't say if you're fond of subtext. Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if what you saw was really what you got and nobody read anything into it that wasn't there either? But heck, people don't do it in real life so how can we expect them to do so on a list?

The off-list stuff – like a private window on chat - is where you go to avoid getting lynched, to go really OT, or in order to have a really good bitch behind somebody's back. Or perhaps to strike up a personal relationship with someone you feel you have an affinity with. Any list will grow lots of clans, cliques and groups.

One person therein might in turn create their own list and off we go again…

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Comments? Gushing praise or poison arrows are welcome at: [email protected]