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Assertiveness:

How to be Assertive - Successful Confidence.

Assertiveness has to do with self confidence and competence.  Assertive people get what they want; they know how to assert themselves to acceptably influence.

Assertiveness is getting what one wants. Being assertive is having the confidence to influence another or a situation acceptably, privately or in business getting what one wants -it is success, being successful in life.

Assertiveness is not only having self confidence. It is also knowing how to apply self confidence with competence. Only acceptably exerted influence succeeds.

Assertiveness confuse many. Many want to be assertive but can't assert themselves. Assertiveness is valued. Assertive people can apply confidence competently to acceptably influence others and circumstances to get what they want.

Many read books, attend personal development courses on assertiveness, get a psychological analysis of it, confused; attempts at assertiveness fail, backfire, some are laughed at. 

Assertiveness isn't inherent, it's rules -anyone can be assertive.

Assertiveness is the knowledge of advantageously to one agreeing or disagreeing with another. People who are not assertive can be exploited. Assertive people often can not be. Being assertive is asking for something from another, in a specific and clear way, directly, and getting what one wants. That is being assertive. Assertiveness is noting more.

Asserting involves successful communication. Assertiveness, being assertive, is about how one communicates. Many are hopeless in asserting themselves. They have self confidence, but are not competent in applying it their dealings with others to assert acceptable influence to get what they want. People usually use two ways, or fret between them unassertively.  Asserting oneself, the way of the assertive is different.

Assertive people are few. Many are not simply aggressive or passive, but in a limbo. To be assertive one need not be aggressive or passive, but simply know how to be assertive.

If one is not assertive, whether aggressive or passive, one has no, or hardly any, control over how one is treated in relationships. One unassertive is in a no win situation: if aggressive, does not get co-operation, tries being passive; if passive, faces exploitation, tries being aggressive; Fails in asserting oneself, gets considered a bully or meek. One becomes a pushover or disagreeable, people become uncooperative, one gets treated so always, feels frustrated and inadequate -looses self confidence. Not so, if one learns assertiveness, to be advantageously agreeable, assertive.

Assertiveness begins with a simple but important realisation:  that anyone with average self confidence can be assertive.

To be assertive, you need only ponder on this: We are passive or aggressive indirectly or directly. If we are not assertive, we sit at the desk to write something, silently suffering the loud noise of the television the kid/s are watching while we are trying to concentrate; or we visibly and exaggeratedly scratch our head, hoping the kid/s will notice and lower the sound, or we exaggeratedly and visibly bang the pen on the desk loudly exclaiming 'Oh, this is difficult!' hoping the message will get through; or yell 'Hey, turn that off!' That is innocence of assertiveness, how to be assertive.

On assertiveness one can be one's own teacher, experiment; if one instead says: "Please turn the sound down a little -I have some work I need to concentrate on..." People will be more co-operative than one expects, one will get what one wants. Isn't that what is about to be assertive?

Assertiveness, the realisation needed for assertion, to be assertive is simple; that one is ignored, or resented, is to do with assertion: People have neither the time, nor necessarily the interest, to guess what one wants; they ignore the passive and also the aggressive.

Assertiveness is communicating advantageously. Asserting oneself is knowing how to be considerately polite, direct, specific and clear. It is psychological: people love to be considered worthy to be asked if social, like to be avoided waste of time if formal. Knowing how to competently apply self confidence to acceptably influence and get what you want is assertiveness -it is influencing advantageously to you, pleasingly to others.

To so influence others is to assert oneself, being assertive. If one tries, one finds that that's all there is to assertiveness.

May interest -a teacher's assertive influence TEACHER of TEACHERS