1) Wear clothes of two colors: your choice of black or white
2) Own an alphanumeric pager with a built in answering machine
3) Own a cellular phone
4) Have only Asian friends
5) Speak only in Asian languages
6) Dress as though you're headed for party when you're actually going to class
7) BE SURE TO SOUP UP YOUR ACURA INTEGRA
8) Smoke even if you don't know how to, especially if you're with friends
9) Travel only in droves of 10 and above to parties
10) Go to all the cool Asians "intercollegiate parties"!
11) Refuse to dance to anything but techno music
12) Whenever in droves of 10 or more Asians, stare menacingly at all other Asians
13) Dance in circles at all parties and clubs
14) Wear only designer labels
15) Make aure designer labels are exetremely visible. Better yet, make sure that the make is emblazoned on the front of it
16) Own a pair of Doc Martens
17) Be very good at pool ... Own a cue stick if you can, even if you know nothing about them
18) Make sure your parents are doctors, or better yet, grocery store owners
19) BELIEVE IN BARN JACKETS, J. CREW, AND TOMMY HILFIGURE
20) Make sure you install every possible option you can in your car
21) Own a sports car
22) Be an officer in the KSA/CSA of your respective school
23) Be a Christian pretending to actually care about the religion
24) If you're a guy, make sure your hair looks like the head of a cabbage
25) If you're a girl, make sure your hair is colored with tinges of brown or red for optimal "coolness"
26) Two words: Manhattan Portage
27) If you're a girl, weigh no more than 75lbs
28) If you're Korean girl, haev eye surgery done so you can look like a golfish
29) If you're in a group of 10 or more friends, stare menacingly at all interracial couples you see
30) Have a sports car that is lowered that it scrapes the road when you drive it
31) Believe in credit cards ... especially when they belong to others
32) Make sure the clubs you go is predominately asian: that is 96% asian and the other 4% are the whites being beaten up for trying to dance
33) Make sure you talk to all your Asian-American friends about how traditional you are in spite of being born in Missippi or something and then make fun of FOBs!
34) Join a Viet gang and get the same haircut, the same baggy jeans, and wear a white T-shirt & curse in Viet all day
35) Join a Korean gang and get the same haircut, the same baggy jeans, and wear a white Tshirt & curse in Korean all day
36) Join a Chinese gang and get the same haircut, the same baggy jeans, and wear a white Tshirt & curse in Chinese all day
37) Curse about how you are Japanese-American and can't join any of these gangs cause there aren't any Japanese around in the first place
38) If case (37) is true, move back to Japan and go to Ueno park until you become a Junior Yakuza
39) If a girl, drag your heels when walk
40) Before you smoke, spank your cigarettes really loud for at least 30 seconds
41) Guys: always laugh in a high pitched voice
42) Girls: say "lke,""um," and "and" alot
