5 June, 2000

I'm not feeling so hot lately.
Like, for a little while, I was sort of stoked with the way everything was going.  I've kind of come to realize that I'm just not the type of guy who's going to have lots of girlfriends, and my real friends are going to be few and far between.  That's cool with me; that says something about who I am and how I choose to always be the same person for everybody or at any time.
But today, man.  I'm just feeling like trash.  Listening to that "Stan" song by eminem isn't helping, either.  I just feel so worthless.  Like, none of my friends called me this weekend.  I don't think this summer is going to be too exciting; I've got nothing going on, my friends are all drifting apart and leaving me sitting here in the center.  I don't understand what I'm supposed to do.
Last night me and Preston had some choice words with Jane, and then we went to 7-Eleven at like 1 in the morning until 3:30, and they were talking about girls and girlfriends and stuff and whatever, and I realized what a complete moron I am when it comes to dealing with members of the opposite sex.  But the stuff they were saying made me realize I don't care about anyone enough to be a good boye to a girl.  I'm too selfish and wrapped up with James to worry about anybody else.
I guess that's a start, but I don't feel like getting any better at public relations.  I'm happy with the way I am now.  Oh well.