8 June, 2000

I can't believe how stupid I am.  I love it!
So the last few weeks I've been thinking about this girl, and last night we hung out.  I thought things were looking good; the mood was up, she said she was glad that I'd come to this party and we talked for a while.  But today I found out she got with one of my friends after I'd gone home.
Such is the price of being a moron.
Who am I to think I deserve some senior?  Who am I to think I'm ever going to get anywhere with a girl again?  I am so sick and tired of getting worked, rejected, stopped, and hurt.  I don't know how to deal with it, I don't know what my problem is, and I don't know where to turn to feel better.
But rather than sit here in my disgusting pity, I'm going to work on this one still.  I don't care that they were together 5 feet from me tonite.  I don't care that she knew I was hurt but she was with him still anyway tonite.  In the words of Trever Keith, I won't lie down while you walk away.  This one is one I don't want to regret screwing up.  Though I probably will, at least I won't be able to say I didn't try.