18 October,1999
You want to know what bothers me more than anything else? Lies.
Today at school was so boring I'm not even going to talk about it. I got home at like 3:30 cuz I stayed after to develop some pictures, then went to Bountiful to pick up our van. Vickers and Ian Graham showed up at 4:30 to go shoot for TV West. That was pretty cool, except I got a parking ticket. That was so lame.
Anyway, at like 11:30, I'm on the computer, chatting with nobody on AIM when somebody names "wahintld" starts talking to me. They asked who I was, and I told them I was a punk rocker, and they called me a poser. That pissed me off. A lot. Then Dana asked IM'd me to ask who "wahinetld is", and I realized it must be somebody that I already knew. I started asking who it was, and like half an hour later I find out it's Nathan, Bronwen and Lizzie. They were at Lizzie's house doing homework or something.
Nathan got the bright idea that he should try and patch things up between Dana and Bronwen since they have to deal with each other at art. Not that that was bad; Nate was just trying to be a good guy. But Dana will forever hate Bronwen, so I feel it was a futile effort. Anyway, during the course of my attempting to obtain knowledge of my fellow chatter's name, I said that I hated Lizzie. That didn't go over so well, and we ended up arguing for like fifteen minutes about why I hate her, why I'm trying my hardest to keep Nick away from her clawed grasp of pain and anguish, etc etc. During this time, Dana is getting more angry by the second that they'r trying to bond with her or something.
Needless to say, an evening of being decieved and argued with has left me unhappy. I'm mostly unhappy with Lizzie. I don't want to explain why I hate her. I have my reasons that have to do with how she treats everybody, how conformist she is, blah blah blah. But mostly it's because I was seriously in love with her for so long, and she treated me like crap. Sub-crap. It sucked. And it still does.
So I can already tell, tomorrow is going to be LOADS of fun at school. I'll try not to leave the building if at all possible. I don't want to talk to anyone about this. I don't care. I hate all of this. I can't believe my friends would lie to me over someting as stupid as this. Maybe they don't understand my honesty-enforcement policies. But why would they lie? Why not just say hello to me, and try to work things out with Dana? Leave me out of it; it's not my problem. I said that to Dana, and she agreed.
I'm not mad at Nathan. He was just trying to be a good friend ot everybody. I'm not too mad with Bronwen. She appears to have good intentions. But I'm very wary of Lizzie. It's not every day that she makes a 180 degree turnabout like this. Why would she suddenly want to patch up our tattered friendship? Why would she want to do anything with Dana? Like three days ago, Lizzie was saying "what a slut she is" and all that crap that she knows nothing about. Dana's down. Lizzie needs to have some respect. Maybe she does now, but I doubt it. I don't care, either. I'm going to bed.
