30 October, 1999

Here in Utah, today was Halloween.
And tonight was incredibly scary.
It's been a good week, though.  Laffingstock recorded our first original song on Thursday, and it rocks.  I can't wait to get it burned like fifty times and distribute it amongst the peoples of West and such.
I got a lil hint from her website that things could happen with Laurie.  This is something of which I can't be certain, however, as I don't know her very well yet.  But as much of her as I DO know already, I like. So that's a plus.
I think I did fairly well in all my classes this term.  Which is to say I was all sorts and types of lucky, and I need to work a lot harder for term 2.
I took pics of some insanely good BMXers and rollerbladers at Real Ride today.
Yearbook requires me to sell $200 of ad space this year...I did it in one stop.
One thing happened that sucked, though.  Dana like freaked out at me in some e-mail and basically told me why I deserve to die.  That wasn't so cool....I feel like me and Dana is just like Lizzie and me, respectively.  Dana hates me cuz she thinks I'm fake, I hate Lizzie because I think she's fake.  But Dana dislikes me because she misinterpretted a lot of things.  At least, all the reasons on the note she sent were just misunderstandings.  I think.
I'm all depressed again.  I wasn't like twenty minutes ago, but now I am.  Something funny-peculiar:  Even though I'm seeing a shrink because I'm sick of being pissed/sad/suicidal etc, I'm more content when I'm mad than when I'm happy.  I feel so fake and stupid when I'm just smiling and enjoying the day.  I'm much happier when I'm in some bitter, contentious mood.  Does that make sense to anybody?  No.
The thing that blew about today was this:  I was SUPPOSED to hang out with Laurie.  She said she was going trick-or-treating with Lauren, then she'd call me, probably before 8.  I left my house at 8:30, and she still hadn't called.  I took my mom's cell-phone in case she did call.  She called my house, my mom gave her the cell number, and Laurie...didn't call.  I was all sad, cuz I wanted to kik it with her tonite.  I don't know what happened; did she just not feel up to it?  Did she forget?  Does she actually hate me and think I'm some weirdo?  I may never find the answer to these questions.
Tonite was scary.  We went to Bronwen's "new" house that is actually over 100 years old.  It's been a home, a boarding schoo, and orphanage, and possibly some other stuff.  Apparently two lil girls died and were buried beneath the home.  We sat in the attic for like an hour, scaring ourselves.  I'm still feeling that.