Reasons Why Beer
is Better than Cucumbers
- You can't get drunk, no matter how many
cucumbers you eat.
- Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides.
- Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow moldy if
you leave them in the fridge for a month.
- Beer is always in season.
- Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on
the person you're looking at, if you drink enough of it)
- Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.
- Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.
- You can't peel (open) a cucumber using only
your teeth (well you can but doesn't look nice)
- You can't defend yourself in a fight with a
cucumber skin.
Reasons Why Cucumbers are
Better than Beer
- Cucumbers have fewer calories.
- Your wife won't complain about you sitting
around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers.
- You can grow cucumbers without buying lots of
equipment.
- Your wife won't complain that your breath
stinks of cucumbers.
- You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and
drive home later.
- Having your face slashed with a cucumber
doesn't hurt (much).
- You can eat the whole cucumber, skin 'n' all.
- A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the
ground.
- You can shake up a cucumber, and it won't
explode when you bite it.
- You don't have to worry about getting cucumber
stains on your clothes.
[The cucumbers seem it on numbers. So why do I
prefer beer?]