My Tagalog laureate friend was reassuring his group of Americans, "Listen, guys: I'm not lifting my own bench."
The Americans were visibly flustered and never got round to figuring out an odd-sounding idiom: (Mga pare, hindi ko binubuhat ang sarili kong bangko!) I'm not boasting!...
Anyway, that was the tamest National Language Month, that August was. The fervent national language advocates, or generally media, left the month pass almost unnoticed. (Except in Ka Sulping Frago's bukid. -- Editor.)
In congruence with globalization, most Filipinos now believe a country can better survive armed with an international language because engineering or medical textbooks and all the other doors to knowledge, like the computers, are not in Tagalog.
In the U.S., the new heroes among the minorities are the Indians, who have excelled in the manufacture of computer parts because of their proficiency in the language of the computers, my favorite ninong Ramon Binamira, who just experienced an ultra hi-tech eye surgery in America, reports.
Why, somehone has suggested that since there is King's English, Americn English, Australian English, why not Filipino English in the world's third largest English-speaking country?
But Filipino English can be circuitous like this sign on the elevator door, "When going to the second floor please use the staircase" (10 words) for "Kung tutungo kayo sa ikalawang palapag, gamitin po ang hagdanan", which could be shortened to six words and still be polite, "Please use stairs to second floor." Besides, I don't know how to use the staircase going up.
Still Filipino English is easy and more fun. With Filipino English in place, the Filipino who struggles to learn, say, the Australian English, will be turning the tables on the Australians, who will have to unlearn their English and learn what "aggrupation," "fiscalize," "studentry," "bold," "comfort room," etc. are.
The Filipino was once required 24 units of Spanish in college. So, he feels correct to assume that if there's agrupacion in Spanish the Anglicized equivalent has got to be aggrupation. But wrong.
If "fiscal" has something to do with finance, so why no "fiscalize" to watch the country's fiscal position? Also wrong.
If there is dentistry, why not "studentry" for student body?
If an actress is bold enough to show more, indeed she is "bold" in her birthday suit.
The Australians should learn to "fill out" the blanks instead of "fill in."
The accused was "framed up," not merely framed.
People should "watch out for" the next attraction instead of watch for.
They should not think it double jeopardy to "pay the tuition fee" instead of pay tuition, because it is just a manner of saying.
However, I could not find the toilet in Sydney.
It's the one marked "Convenience," an Aussie told me.
I laughed.
"What's funny?" he demanded.
"That is really the convenient place!" I said mockingly.
"Why? What do you call it in Manila?" he countered.
"Comfort room," I replied confidently.
It was his turn to let out a guffaw.
"That is really a comforting room!" he exclaimed.
The Filipinos watching the Olympics in Australia had to grapple with "gaol" for jail, "kerb" for curb, "to let" for to rent, "lift" for elevator, "flat" for apartment, "lorry" for cargo truck, "chemist" for botica. (I once wondered at the abundance of chemists there.) That "button hospital," "shirt hospital" is where you have those parts repaired.
"Labour hospital" must be for laborers, I ventured.
"No," my host replied. "It's the name of the owner."
The American, on the other hand, will have to learn the other Filipino English usage for the word "forgive."
When my car figured in a freak accident in Saigon, my driver was berated with rapid-fire slanguage by the American who was driving the other car.
My driver could not readily butt in. But when he finally had the chance, he sneaked in edgewise and shot back back shrieking, "You see me come, why no forgive me?!"
That stunned the American. "Nakita mo akong dumarating, ba't 'di mo ako pinagbigyan, anak ka ng jueteng?!"
