What can I say about why I write?
How can I show you what its like?
It's violent sex you don’t forget
It's those voices in your head
It's those things you cannot say
It's those games you cannot play
It's the days spent in your room
It's a junkie finding his spoon
It's the needle finding a vein
It's singing in the rain
It's Silent All These Years
It's holding those you hold dear
It's the Invisible Man
It's finishing the master plan
It's flying over the cuckoo's nest
It's finding out who's best
It's the Story Of My Life
It's how you stay alive
It's cheating death one more time
It's going ninety in a forty-five
It's forgetting everything for a moment of remembrance
It's my one true romance
You see when I have nothing
I create something
We attach ourselves to situations we know we
can’t control
Hopelessness and helplessness are things we
don’t outgrow
Like a high school love or something similar
to that
Or maybe just a situation in which we'd like
to fall back
But falling back is something that I know I
cannot do
Cause the way I used to be would scare yes even
you
But, if I could fall back to the way I used
to be
I'd fall in love another time and hope you'd
fall with me
When doors are slammed
When they start to talk back
When they’re staying out late
They’ll never come back
God's in the living room telling me who I am
I’m in my bedroom with my Bible
A Bible no one can read without permission
A Bible God will never read
I’m trying to make God proud of me
But I wrote the Bible he’ll never read
He doesn't have permission
He's happy that I'm writing the Bible
But hates that he’ll never read it
In his eyes, my not letting him read it is secrecy
And if you have something to hide it must be
a sin
I’m hiding from God
Because I failed God
But I'm still writing the Bible
My Bible
I am the passenger
You are a chauffeur
I ride behind you
Actually I make you go places
Sometimes lovely
Sometimes hideous
Either way I take you there
I may just be a passenger but I control you
I’ve rode many people before
And some I continue to ride
And some I ride frequently
Merely things on the side
A trip in the bedroom
The lights are dim
Praying to god
The parents don’t come in
To see the chauffeur
In that position
Then parents assess
The current situation
Then the ride is over and done
It's been surreal and it's been fun
But a new chauffeur will surely come
With money to spend he thinks it's fun
But then he says that I'm a whore
But he should have known that before
And now you're heading towards that place
And problems will soon start to take place
1999 © Jesse Menn all rights reserved