Title: Banters

Author: Foxfeather (Email)

Website: http://www.foxfeather.de

Rating: PG-13

Pairing/main characters: Gambit/Cyclops

Series/Sequel: complete

Summary: Some unknown entity decides that Cyclops has to learn a bit more about a certain Cajun.

Disclaimer: Marvel's...

Archive/distribution: Yes please, but tell me where!

Warning: Nothing graphic.

_____________________________________________________

 

Banters

By Foxfeather

 

Chapter One

Grumpily Scott Summers took another sip of his drink. Next to him, propping their elbows on one of the well-worn tables of Harry's bar, Bobby and Logan were busy watching some kind of baseball match that flickered on the screen of the TV above the bar. And at the bar itself?
How the hell did that kid do it? Two women, one brunette, one peroxide blonde, where flirting with the Cajun. And Gambit seemed to visibly enjoy it. Scott knew nobody else with so much "luck" with women as Gambit. Okay, concerning the big love of his life he seemed to be worsted, but concerning this flirtations?
There seemed to be no night in which Gambit wouldn't be able to drag some woman off, if he wanted to. "Charm power" he called these flirtations, but Scott was pretty sure that the Cajun was playing games with the emotions of these women, that he was getting them to do something they wouldn't do of their own accord.
There, now this... bastard dared to place his hand on the brunette's bottom. Scott started to fume. What did this lanky rascal think of it? He had to stop this and pronto!
Gambit was absorbed in his conversation with the two women and he was brooding over the realization that the brunette was wearing either a g-string or nothing beneath her tight jeans when a hand grabbed him roughly at the elbow and turned him around.
Scott hissed something like "We. Talk. Outside. NOW!" before he dragged the perplexed Cajun along to the exit.
"Uhm, I be right back, cherie!" he managed to whisper to the brunette, then the cold night air hit him in the face.
"Whassat, Summers? Don't ya see dat I'm busy?" he snapped at the leader of the X-Men.
"Yes, I saw it, and that's exactly what this is about!"
Gambit sensed that Scott was nearly bursting with rage.
"What did you think of it? Those women where possibly just wanting to have a nice evening and now you try to give them the come-on!"
Slowly Gambit started to get annoyed.
"First: Dat's none of your business! And second: T' wasn't me starting t' flirt. Just in case ya didn't notice, the brunette bought _me_ a drink."
"And you have nothing better to do than to take advantage of it! Your charm power has had nothing to do with her invitation, or has it?"
"Jealous? Now Jean's not at home ya could loosen the reigns, but nobody wants t' flirt with ya?"
The next thing Gambit saw was the asphalt of the parking lot.
Scott rubbed his knuckles. "Never say something like that again, hear me?"
With a lopsided grin Gambit rubbed his jaw.
"Okay", he relented, "I will not mention Jean. But ya _are_ jealous!"
Scott growled at him and grabbed Gambit's collar.
Something like an electric shock hit him, then everything went dark.
*~*~*
Inside the bar Bobby Drake looked somewhat diverted out of the window.
"Uh, if I didn't knew Storm to be away with Jean and the others, I would say there was a flash of lightning."
Logan set down his beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Thunderstorms can happen without Storm's help, ya know? And now shut
up. You are a nuisance!"
With a shrug of his shoulders Bobby turned back to his beer and the baseball game.
*~*~*
With a groan, Scott came back to his senses. Strange, how hard and cold his bed felt today. He himself felt strange, too. Stop. No bed. Asphalt. Now it all came back to him. That damned Cajun must've had charged him. That was it. But? since when was Gambit able to charge living objects?
Scott sat up and rubbed his head. Something was different than normal. Visor okay? Check. The usual headache? Check. Power control?
Check. The usual pain in the eyes? Check... Stop. Uncheck. His eyes felt? normal. Make that not normal, since they usually felt like popping right out of their sockets most of the time. But now? Nothing. Odd.
Next to him Gambit stirred.
Why had he been unconscious, too? If he had been charging him, he had to stand aside, laughing his head off about his latest trick. Scott shook his head in frustration. Something _was_ wrong here!
Gambit had managed to work his way up on hands and knees. He held his head in one hand and groaned. Then the ground beneath him exploded in red light and threw him a few meters through the air.
Pressed down by the shockwave Scott acted purely on instinct.
"Keep your eyes shut! I'm coming!"
Red light, explosion, that were his powers, that was something he could handle. Gambit needed a visor. Scott had a second one in his pocket, just in case something happened to the original. He stumbled over to the again half unconscious Gambit and pressed the visor over his eyes.
"Now you can open them again."
The quartz glass of the visor started to glow softly in a dark red light.
Gambit touched the visor suspiciously, then looked cautiously at Scott.
"What happened?"
"You have my powers..."
Now, as he spoke it out loud Scott became aware of the fact that Gambit had his, Scott's, powers. How was that possible? And, more importantly, had he himself no problems with his eyes because his power was gone?
"Gambit?"
The Cajun sat on the cold ground and stared at him. Or rather, Scott thought he did, for he couldn't read the expression of Gambit's eyes through the visor.
"Your powers?!? Merde!"
Cautiously he lifted a pebble from the ground and looked at it in concentration.
"Uhm, Cyke?"
"Yes?"
"Take dis pebble."
"And now?"
"Charge it."
"I can't... Shit!" The pebble had started to glow in his hand.
"Looks like we've had our powers changed, neh?"
"Uhm, Remy?"
"Yep?"
"What do I do with it?"
"Wid what?"
"With the pebble! It becomes hot!"
"De-charge it."
"How?"
"Uhm, how?"
"Gambit!!!"
"I don' know ´ow! I just? do it, take de power back!"
"It doesn't work!"
"Den t'row it!"
Scott whirled around and threw the stone away as far as he could.
With a thunderous boom and a fountain of earth it exploded in someone's garden when it hit the ground.
"Wow. And that was only a pebble!"
Scott was impressed.
When he turned back, Gambit was still sitting with his legs drawn up to his body on the ground and rubbed his head again. Scott could stop him just in time from putting down the visor and rubbing his eyes.
"Stop that, Cajun, you'll just burn your fingers."
"Is dis headache normal?"
"For me, it is. The constant control to not shoot the visor away from your eyes has it's side effects."
"By the way, I t'ink you can take your visor down. I want to check somet'ing."
"What?"
Scott put his visor down and forced himself to open his eyes.
"Wow!"
"What?" asked Gambit.
"Colors!"
"Oh. Cyke, look at me."
Scott turned around from his explorations of his surroundings and looked down at the Cajun.
"Oh. Thank you."
"What?"
"Your eyes, fearless leader."
"What's wrong with them?"
"Dey're red on black."
"Oh."
Gambit groaned again.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm learning why you're such a stick-up-the-ass all the time, Cyke. Man, my eyes hurt!"
"You are doing quite well. How come you can control it?"
"Training. Charm power."
Scott gulped.
"Do I have that, too?"
"Yep. And no control over it. Why, do ya think, am I sitting here like dis, eh?" He wobbled his drawn up knees and shot a lopsided grin at Scott.
"Eh... oops?"
Scott turned an interesting shade of red.
"How do I control it?"
"Dat's de problem. Ya hardly can."
"What?!"
"Normally, I try to feel? invisible, no, wrong term. I try to cage myself inside and try to broadcast that I'm unworthy to know. Ya've seen how well that works." He laughed. "And that only works when I'm concentrating, well, now I do it rather unconscious. Like thinking double-tracked. Perhaps that's why I can control _your_ powers now."
Scott gulped again. That was how Gambit was thinking of himself all the time? Unworthy and invisible? He hadn't known that.
Scott tried to concentrate.
Gambit rose carefully and wrapped his coat around himself.
"Dat's better, Cyke. Not perfect, but it should be ´nuff."
"What now?"
"Whaddaya mean?"
"Do we tell Logan and Bobby what happened, or what?"
"I t'ink we should go back t' d' mansion alone. Dey have been looking so forward to dis game, I don' t'ink we should interrupt dem. If I just t'ink of Bobby's jokes about this?"
Scott shuddered with the thought.
"Okay. Then I'll go in and tell them we're returning to the mansion and that they should take a cab. And I'll get our things."
"Cyke?"
"What?"
"Don't forget ya' visor."
"Huh? Oh, yes."
Scott shifted his visor as he entered the bar again. Without looking around he walked over to Logan's and Bobby's table.
"Gambit and me are returning to the mansion. Take a cab, okay?"
Logan waved a dismissing hand without taking his gaze away from the TV.
"Thunderstorm bad?" asked Bobby absently.
Scott looked at him in confusion. The he remembered the pebble.
"Uh, yeah."
With his jacket and Remy's backpack in one hand he turned around to the bar to pay the bills.
While he was waiting for the change he sensed a hand on his thigh. A shocked look to the left showed him the blonde from a while ago, who was now pressing herself against his side. On his other side stood the brunette.
"You want to go? What a pity. You and your friend, you could spent a little more time with us, can't you? And if you don't like it here, we could go over to our place, hm?"
Scott gulped.
"Eh, no, thanks, ladies, but we have to, really have to go!"
Without waiting for his change he fled out of the bar.
Harry looked confused after him. Strange people those guys from the mansion.
As the door had closed behind him, Scott exhaled the breath that he didn't noticed he had been holding. Those women? perhaps Gambit had been right after all and _they_ had started the flirtation. With a warm shudder he recognized, that he himself couldn't be so much despicable if they had tried to flirt with him as well.
It looked as if that charm power wasn't sooo bad a thing after all.
Scott noticed how his mood had risen just with the thought of that.
Grinning he put down the visor and looked searchingly after Gambit. He spotted him beneath a canopy nearby for it actually had started raining.
"Gambit, I think I understand why the women like you so much. This charm power is great!"
Gambit shook his head no.
"De charm power has its shady sides, Cyke!" he warned.
"What could _that_ be?" croaked Scott.
Remy started to explain, when the shady sides became a sudden reality.
A gang rather hefty-looking bikers appeared out of a side street and parked their machines right in front of Remy and Scott.
"Shit!"
"What's wrong, Remy?"
"Trouble!"
The men started to circle Scott.
"Who do we have here? So alone on the streets, boy?"
"What do you want?"
"Oooh! A polite one! How cute!"
Remy had stayed calm to welcome the gang, but they ignored him completely. They concentrated on Scott, not him.
Remy knew exactly what would happen next. And he could only hope that Scott would realize it soon, too.
But Scott stayed polite and tried to move out the gang's way. Big mistake!
From nowhere two hands grabbed his arms from behind and bent them back. Other hands grabbed his body and they started to carry him into the side street.
Now Gambit started to react. He had to find a weapon. He couldn't use his new powers, he was too afraid to hurt Scott.
Named Scott tried to defend himself against the hands that had now started to open his pants and to rip his shirt to shreds. Finally it had kicked in what happened. The charm power had stroke back. Apparently it did _not_ work only with women! With new strength Scott tried to free his arms only succeeding in nearly dislocating them.
After a dull thud the guy who held his arms suddenly let go.
With some punches and some more thuds, with originated from an iron pole Gambit used to lash out they managed to keep the gang at bay.
Only the warning howl of a police siren made the gang give up. They
disappeared with a loud roar of their bikes' motors.
"Oh, boy! They... they tried to..."
"Yes, Scott."
"Rape..." the last word the leader of the X-Men only dared to whisper. He slid down the next wall to sit in the wet ground.
"Dat's de shady side of de charm power."
Gambit sounded depressed. Tired he leaned against the wall next to Scott.
"Unwanted attention", he continued. "De charm power is hard to control, especially if one's ill or exhausted it's quite impossible. Dat little bit of control I can manage today I have paid a high price for."
Scott looked unbelieving at Remy. "Are you saying, this happened to you as well?"
Gambit moved uncomfortably. Scott could hardly understand his next words.
"When the charm power... manifested itself, I was about seven years old."
It took a few seconds before the implications of what Gambit had just said sunk in.
"Oh, God, Remy!"
The rain started to pour harder, but both men stayed where they were in an uncomfortable silence.
After a few minutes Scott asked: "How are your eyes?"
"It's okay, I'm used to the constant control. At least _your_ power _is_ controllable."
Somehow Scott didn't feel much better with that.
"Let's go home."
*~*~*
The ride back to the mansion had gone in silence. Remy was brooding over his past and Scott was still trying to digest what had just happened to him. And what he had learned about Remy. The rain was now something similar to a flood.
After Scott had parked the car and went out into the rain again something hit him and all went dark around him, again.

When he woke up this time, he knew it better and kept his eyes shut until he managed to put on his visor.
This time it had been Remy who had been awake first, and now he helped Scott to stand up again. Both men where soaking wet from the cold rain.
"Are ya all right, o fearless?"
"Yes. No. I dunno. That fight... It was a dream wasn't it?
"Don't t'ink so, your shirt is in pieces."
Scott looked down and groaned.
"Uhm, Scott, the mansion is deserted, would you like to come with me for a cup of coffee?"
Scott didn't need long to decide.
"Yes, thanks. I don't know if I want to be alone with my thoughts right now. How can you stand it?"
"Dunno."
"How far can you control that power? I mean, could something like? happen to you, too?"
"I doubt it. And concerning the control? Whaddaya feel?"
Scott shot a surprised look at the Cajun. He felt? well? in his presence. Remy was a friend. He got on his nerves sometimes, no, make that all of the time, but just now?
"I feel... secure, safe", he answered.
Remy exhaled, as if he had been holding his breath.
"I just tried to control de power completely", he explained. "But dat is quite hard to do. Normally I control it about 90%. As I do now."
Scott sensed that the pesky feeling he had whenever Remy was around was back. Now he recognized it as attraction to him, something he was
unconsciously fighting.
"And what... did I? broadcast?" he asked.
"I don't know, ya had about 50% of control. I guess."
Scott stammered around. "I? would want? well?"
"Ya want to know if it was your fault. I understand, Scott." Remy's voice sounded soothing and Scott felt safe and understood.
"I will try to demonstrate what ya broadcasted. I dunno if I can do it, my control is something so natural to me, I don't know how far I can let go?" He concentrated.
Scott felt warm. Remy was with him, he was safe. But Remy was not nearly near enough for his complete comfort and Scott wanted to feel him. It wasn't wrong to feel attracted to somebody else but Jean, to feel attracted to another X-man, to a male, to _Remy_. Scott wanted nothing more than to kiss that man next to him, to touch him. He looked at Remy and noticed how his body began to stir with the sight of that tall, lean, muscular and wet body.
"Remy..." His voice sounded hoarse.
Gambit opened his eyes which he had closed for better concentration, and found himself nose to nose with Scott Summers. He flinched and re-build his mental shields immediately.
Scott managed to catch his head, though, and kissed him hungrily on the mouth.
Scott was surprised how soft those lips where. He shoved his tongue between Remy's lips and tried to open the other's mouth. To his joy the felt Remy relaxing and starting to kiss him back.
Scott pressed himself against the hard, male body in his arms and started to pull Remy's shirt out to get his hands on the naked skin beneath. But now the Cajun freed himself and pushed him back, panting.
"Stop! Scott, do ya realize what ya doing?"
Scott looked at him in puzzlement, then his face went first pale, then dark red.
"Oh, no! Remy, I'm... I'm sorry!"
He started to move backwards. What had he thought?
"Scott! Stay, dis time it was my fault! I should've paid more attention to what happened to ya."
"I... uhm... I should go back to the mansion, now." Scott cleared his throat. "I think I need a cold shower."
"Ya can shower here. I don't want ya to be alone with that condition you're in." He blushed. "Now, dat sounded not exactly how I meant it!"
Scott grinned. "I know what you meant. And, okay, I'll stay."
No, he really didn't want to be alone with his thoughts right now.

On the last steps to the boat house Scott thoughts raced around one point.
"Why did you kiss me back, Remy?"
The Cajun stopped dead in his tracks and looked perplexed at Scott.
"I felt your emotions! I could do nothing about it!"
His eyes narrowed. "Ya haven't noticed dat I am an empath?"
"An empath?"
"Yeah. And dat doesn't make de charm power any easier to live with."
"Empathy..." Scott stopped thinking about that new fact, standing in the rain.
Remy turned around and opened the door. He grabbed Scott's arm and dragged him along.
He signed Scott to take his shower and searched for some dry clothes that might fit him. While he heard the shower running he dried himself off with a towel and changed into some pants and shirt. Then he wandered into the kitchen and prepared coffee and some sandwiches.
Scott entered a few minutes later.
"I think I did sense your empathy. But only unconsciously. Because of the constant link to Jean I'm used to have somebody else's thoughts in my head."
Quietly he added: "It would explain why I reacted so unlike me to these blonde. And to the gang." That last sentence was nearly inaudible.
Remy patted his arm, then gave him a mug of coffee.
"Hungry?"
"Uhm, what? Oh, yes."
"Help yaself." Remy pointed his head to the plate of sandwiches he'd prepared, then grabbed one with salad and cheese for himself and strolled into the next room to drop into the next chair.
Scott looked after him, then grabbed the whole plate and sat down at the couch.
"I think we have plenty to talk about, Remy."

 

Chapter Two

Here we are now. De fearless leader, Scott Summers, who had nearly been raped about two `ours ago, and me, Remy LeBeau, to whom dat has happened more times dan he can count. Who not even dares to t'ink about dat. T'ink about something else, Remy! T'ink about?headaches.
It's strange, dey vanished the moment our powers switched back. Dat means dey're part of Scott's powers. Merde! No wonder dat he is such a tight-ass! Ever to be careful not'ing happens to de visor, de responsibility for a bunch of stubborn mutants, and all dat with dat kind of headache? I know I could not to dat! By the way, he's sitting dere as if not'ing has happened. How does he cope wit' what happened?
Is it eating him up? Does he t'ink it's his fault? `Ow does he feel? His whole world just broke apart! I wished I could help `im. But `ow? I don't know how he feels now! I don't know how it feels to live a normal life! Okay, I know how it feels when everyt'ing falls apart, but not for dis reason! I didn't understand what dose men were going to do to me, then. I didn't understand it later. I only knew dat it was my fault. Does he feel the same? No. He knows dat it was my fault, my Charm Power. My fault. How can he be so calm? My fault! Whatever I do, I do it wrong. Oh, shit, now I am starting to shake. Damn, Remy! Control yerself! Hands? touch me? no! Go away! Pain, shame, damn! I don't want to remember! Go away! Don't wanna! Don't...
---
Here we are now. Remy LeBeau, enigmatic and independent, and me, Scott Summers, his teamleader. But am I that? After all that has happened? After Antarctica? Why did he come back? I'm responsible. How can he trust me? How can he tolerate me here? In his place of refuge? He has to hate me. What he has been through, why has he told me about his past? A child in the hands of men like? Don't think about it, Scott! Nothing has happened to you. You got away. He has not. A child. God! How does he cope? I have left him and he rescues
me! Why? I have to help him. But... how can I, if I can't even face my own demons? How could I possibly bear what he could tell me? What could have happened to me as well? How can he live with this damned power? Everything has to remind him of his past, every time he uses the Charm. How? How does he put it away? This lack of control would drive me insane. To always expecting to be? used. Never to be sure it's me, who's liked and not that image of me, distorted by the Charm Power. Is that why he is such a flirt? `Cause he hopes that somebody somehow will see through that image? How alone he has to be. Oh boy, I never thought about this before. Remy LeBeau, is there anybody who
knows _you_? How do you bear your memories, all alone? Hands, touches. I don't want to think about it! Remy, how do you cope? I'm falling, I have no support! Help me! What? why are you shaking? Pain? Do you remember? Can you help me? Did you only suppress it? I want to help you!
---
Scott? What... let go of my hand. I want to be alone? let me?what are? you doing? I don't want to let go. I don't want to cry like a baby! But exactly dat will happen if you go on holding me like dis. Scott, let me go! Damn, Remy, just fight, push him away! Why don't you fight, Remy? `Cause it feels so good to be held. `Cause you feel safe now. `Cause Scott understands. Scott? just hold me,
`k? Don't leave me alone... not alone?
---
Remy... come here, I need you, I need your support. I just want to hold you, okay? No ulterior motives. You don't fight. You understand me, right? Don't leave me. You are shaking so hard your teeth are chattering. Shhhh, it's okay. I'm here. Now, much too late, I'm here for you. I hold you and you support me. What? tears? You suppressed it and now it's coming back to haunt you. The memory? I don't know how it has been for you, but I can guess and I'm there for you. Let go. Show me that I'm not alone. I hold you, I hold you...
---
Dis feels so good... safe? Can I simply let go now? You will not change your mind, Scott? When you finally see what you're doing? Whom you are holding? Control your Charm Power, LeBeau! If not you will lose everyt'ing! De safety? Shields up, it is. Control your emotions. Control is everything. Oh, Scott, even if you push me away now, I t'ank you!
---
Remy, what's wrong? You have stopped shaking and now you're tense. You cling to me as if your live was depending on it and at the same time you're so tense it has to hurt. Why? I won't leave you! I need you! You understand me, do you? You are my support, here and now. Even if Jean would be here and not on Muir Island with the others, I'm not sure she could support me like you do.
"Remy, let go."
Why did you wince? You don't think I? no! Stay, don't leave me!
"Stop! Not me! Please? I? I meant your thoughts, emotions?"
Come back to me, I need you!
---
"Remy, let go."
DDere, here it comes, he's pushing me away. I knew dat would happen, so why does it hurt so much? What? What did you say? Your hands hold me? pull me back to you? Let go of _myself_? Scott? I don't know if I can do dat? wit'out hurting you. Why are you doing dis for me? `Let go' you said? I? remember?
---
You are shaking again and you are clinging to me with all your strength. I can sense how you let go of your emotional control, I can feel how your body cramps, I hear how strained you breathe?and I see your tears. What shall I do now? Hold you. Rock you. Stroke your hair like a father or mother would do. I can see you screaming without a sound. You never had parents who held you like this, who comforted you! Oh, Remy? I hear my voice, but I don't know
what I'm saying. Comfort, support? I catch me kissing your forehead and
your hair. And? it feels good. Normally I would feel awfully embarrassed.
But I don't. It feels _right_. _Now_ I'm there for you.
---
... I... had no idea... it would be dis hard. De memories are tearing me apart! But now it's better, I feel light, dizzy, like I'm drunk.
Scott? T'ank you! Scott? What are you doing? I feel your lips on my forehead. You _kiss_ me! Oh, God, no! Dis damn Charm Power! I must have lost control! No! Oh, God, I'm sorry! How could I?
---
The sobs have deceased, now you are lying silently in my arms. I'm here, Remy. You hear me? Hey! Stay! Why... panic?
"Remy...?"
"Scott, I didn't want to..."
I don't understand. What's wrong? Have I done something wrong? Why are you _afraid_ of me?
"What didn't you want?"
"De Charm... you... kissed me! I have lost control. It's better when you leave now, Scott. Before? before I hurt you."
Hurt me? Charm? You think I only comforted you because you lost control of your Charm? Damn, Remy! But what if? Then you are a damn bad teamleader, Scott Summers! Only because he's male? Stop. Remy's afraid to hurt me?
"Hurt me?"
"After all dat's happened today you should better stay away from me and my Charm, Cyclops. You better leave now."
Aha. Back to ?Cyclops', we are. Distance. If you are crawling back into your shell, Remy, I will be alone again. Alone with my thoughts, with my memories.
"Egoist."
That hit home. This strange eyes, red on black, are now wide open and stare at me in utter lack of understanding.
"W... What?"
"You had your comfort. And you needed it badly. I was there for you. And now you send me away. My day wasn't easy either, or did that slip your mind?"
Okay. That was not nice. Not a bit.
---
?Egoist'. How right you are, Scott. I had my comfort, my support. And now I push you away. But actually, I want you to stay. I don't want to be alone. Egoist, indeed. But on the other hand?
"'Ow could you possibly want to stay? Dat whole mess was _my_fault!
All dat wouldn't have happened without my Charm Power. I? don't deserve your comfort?"
What will he say now? Dat I'm right, and den he'll leave.
"As I said: Egoist!"
What?
"Now you want to take all the blame, too."
I am to blame!
---
Damn you, Remy! If you could, you would try to carry the sin of he whole world, wouldn't you? And all to? pay for that one mistake. To do penance for the Morlock massacre. Why haven't I seen that before?
Scott, you're an idiot! Remy's feeling so guilty it's driving him mad! What else could I do wrong here? What do I do now? Even if he's going to kill me now? Get up, Scott. Take his hand and make him sit down on the couch again. Talk to him. Damn Remy, stop fighting, I don't want to hurt you!
"I wasn't your fault, Remy. It wasn't now and it wasn't back then. Fate has played a very nasty trick on you. But you survived. Alone and without help. Don't you understand me? I want to be there for you. But I need your help, too! You have survived much worse then what I have experienced today, you know how to cope with it."
Should I say it? Yes.
"Remy... I need you. Your help and your support."
Don't look at me as if I've grown a second head. Help me!
"Help me!"
---
Scott... needs... me? _Needs_ _me_?
What shall I do now? How could I?? Damn, I'm starting to shake again. Do what Scott has done. Just hold him!
---
He's shaking. What will you do, Remy? Please, help me. You? you hold me! Clumsy, but tight. But can I let go, like you did?
I remember... those men? I didn't know what they wanted to do. No, I knew it, but I didn't want to believe it. And when they touched me? this feeling? I was - admit it, Scott! - aroused. But I was afraid, too. I think I only fought them `cause fighting has become second nature to me. But without Remy?
Am I shocked about what would have happened to me, or about my own feelings when they held me? I can't sort it out! Was it me, who was aroused by the thought of? - Damn, Scott, if you can't even say it! - the thought of having sex with those men, or was it just the echo of the Charm Power? The empathy?
"I don't know, Scott. Dat's what makes it so hard?"
Oh God, did I say all that aloud? But he understands? he holds me. But what if it wasn't the Charm Power? If it only freed what I could be? No! I have never thought about doing that with a male? but what if??
Remy... The kiss, out there in the rain... Remy's body? I remember what it felt like to hold him? and now I'm holding him again? and he holds me?
"Remy? Are you controlling your Charm?"
"As much as I can. Nearly 100 %"
Oh. Than these are _my_ feelings... I can smell his hair, still wet from the rain, that's his heartbeat? and he's so warm?
---
Why did he ask dat? I told him dat I don't want to hurt him! He's so quiet now. What are you feeling? Should I scan him? Should I lower my empathic shields? No, I can't hurt him, not physically and especially not mentally! What shall I do? Scott, what's wrong? Your hand on my back? are you counting my vertebrae? Or are you stroking me? Scott?
---
Warm? Why are you so tense, Remy? I want you to relax, to feel well.
You have gone through so many bad things in your life and now, when I should be there for you, you're there for me. You restrain yourself `cause you worry over me. But I think I know now that it wasn't only the Charm Power, back at the attack. I know myself a little better now. And I can accept it, if you help me to go through this. I can see your pulse at your neck and I want to kiss it?kiss
you?
---
Scott! No, please! I can't allow dat!
"Scott, don't!"
"Remy..."
"You are not yourself. If you go on wit' what you're doing, we'll both regret it tomorrow!"
Did I just admit that I actually won't mind? Do I mind? No? But anyway?
"Scott, you're not yourself! Please stop!"
Please, don't stop...
---
I don't want to stop!
"Remy, I don't want you to do something you don't want to do, but I don't know if I will ever be brave enough to think in this way about me again! Please, help me through this! Help me to find myself.!"
He's looking at me. Thoughtful. Afraid? Why? He has admitted that he wants this, too!
"Remy?"
"You will hate me tomorrow."
"Hate you? Why?"
"Because I make you something you don't want to be!"
"Remy..."
"No, listen to me. It will be hard enough to go on after what has happened now. And if we?"
"Remy, leave that to me. I promise, I won't hate you. How can I look me in the eye again, if don't use my maybe only chance? No, that doesn't sound right. I don't want to? use you. That would be like I ? as if I would do to you what?"
"Scott, you _can't_ look yourself in the eye!"
"Huh?"
"Your visor."
"Oh. Does that mean you agree?"
"I... even if you will hate me... mmpf!"
Kisses can even stop Cajuns talking.
*~*~*
"Morning, sleepyhead!"
"Hmmmpf?"
"De rain has stopped and de sun is shining! Scott? WAKE UP!!!"
"Remy? What? Oh. That."
Silence.
"Remy?"
"What do you... t'ink?"
"You want to know if I hate you."
"Well... yes."
"No."
"Uff."
"You where still afraid of that? After tonight?"
"Well, when I was a child..."
"Remy. I _don't_ _hate_ _you_!"
"Yes, o fearless."
"Don't call me that."
"What now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Jean..."
"She... will understand. I think she knows me much better than I do..."
"Will _she_ hate me?"
"Not if I have a say in that!"
"Thank you."
"Never mind."
"But... dis will stay the only time we..."
"I still have much to learn..."
"What?"
"You are a very good teacher, Remy? And I can be very curious?"
"Scott?"
"Yes?"
"Does that mean...?"
"If you want to?"
"I... yes."
"Good. Now?"
"What?! Mmmpf!"

 

END