Title: TAG

Author: Lornadane (Email)

Rating: G

Pairing/main characters: x-men

Series/Sequel: complete

Summary: Sillyfic. The X-men train.

Disclaimer: Marvel's. Not mine. If I could just have Alex I'd be a happy girl.

Date: Feb 2001

Archive/distribution: Sure. Just let me know where.

Warning: Not a one. Sillyfic. Enjoy.

Notes: Feedback. Always welcomed. Helps me write more. Feed the author.

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TAG

By Lornadane

 

Warren flew fast and furious close to the ground heading into the woods, certain he'd evade his pursuer. In the woods he could maneuver with speed and grace, his wings just touching the branches, but avoiding the trunks. He knew the woods. He'd practiced over and over to perfect his agility in the roughest of settings. And his speed had increased triplefold in the last year without the metal wings. He was as fast as the wind.
"I believe the correct word in these types of situations is "tag"." Storm smiled as she grabbed Warren's leg just before he entered the forest. Well, not quite as fast as the wind. "Damn." Thought Angel as Storm slipped away
laughing. Now he was "it". He made a tight loop looking for a new victim as Storm headed back toward the mansion.
He spied Wolverine running low to the ground at the edge of the woods trying to blend into his surroundings. Most of the other X-men would have missed him up here, but Warren's keen eyesight could pick out a pearl in a pile of rocks from a hundred and fifty yards away. He zipped down behind Logan and grabbed him under the arms before Logan's super heightened sense of smell could pick up his scent. Wolverine popped his claws in a threatening gesture and tried to turn toward Warren. Warren just laughed and flew higher. About sixty feet up he spoke, "Tag, you're it." Then he let Wolverine go, knowing he'd survive the fall with little more than a scrap due to his newly laced adamantium skeleton and excelerated healing factor.
Wolverine hit the ground hard with a curse on his lips. He knew Warren knew he'd survive the fall, but he also knew Warren knew it would hurt. He jumped quickly to his feet and began a slow lope out across the open field looking
for a new victim as Angel flew back toward the mansion.
"Damn flamin' flying mutants," he muttered to himself. "Shoulda said they couldn't play if they're gonna fly." Rogue flashed by with a laugh at that moment. "Sugah took a big fall, did 'ems?" She hovered above his head just
out of his reach. Or so she thought. She was busy taunting him as he moved slowly, waiting for his healing factor to finish. Suddenly he made a leap into the air grabbing at Rogue's boot. He hit his mark with little effort,
satisfied with the shriek of surprise he heard. "Ya didn't!" Now she was "it". "Did 'ems think flying would save her?" He asked hands on hips. Rules of the game kept her from making him "it" again. She scowled at him and flew
off down toward the lake.
"You can come outta the tree now, Gumbo. She's gone. She may be able to fly, but that doesn't beat this sniffer." Logan tapped his nose as Remy poured himself down from the branches just over his head.
"You got her pissed now, eh mon ami." he said lighting up a cigarette.
"Her own fault fer distracting herself with gloating. She shoulda taken this exercise more seriously." Logan moved off toward the mansion calling over his shoulder. "Ya better watch it though. She's probably lookin' fer ya now."
Gambit took a drag off his cigarette and said mostly to himself, "Ain't no exercise, mon frere. Jus' fun n' games wit' de X-men." Just like Logan to take a simple game of TAG so seriously.
Suddenly a shriek caused Gambit to whirl around bo-staff miraculously opened in his hand as he watched a sprinting Jubilee come toward him from the mansion, terror written on her face. "Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez...."
"Jubilation, I mean you no harm." A voice called out behind her. An attempt at civility was heard in the tone, but the voice couldn't quite mask the evil villain drawl. Gambit froze.
Suddenly out of the sky, the woods and even the ground, G-men sprang forth to circle Jubilee's attacker.
"Sinister!" They cried in unison and disbelief.
"Yes?" He straightened in their midst, one arm with hand balled in a fist behind his back and one hand in a fist perched on his belly, looking quite the civilized charming Southern dandy.
"What the flamin' hell are ya doin' here?" Wolverine asked extending his claws menacingly, crouched and ready to spring at the evil standing so close.
"Well....um..." Sinister began, almost looking embarrassed, a purple tinge coloring his blue features. He swallowed. "Well, I was at my secret research base watching you X-men as I do on a regular basis." He paused looking around
at the group who in turn were looking suspiciously around the grounds for secret cameras. "A satellite." He informed them as they all nodded in unison. "And well I saw you playing TAG...and...ah...it...well you see...it looked like fun."
A shocked silence came over the group. Then Sinister continued to shock them even more. "Well...I was wondering if I could...you know...join you?"
Without warning a cacophony of voices began to rise in disbelief and horror. Protests were shouted. "No flamin' way!"
"You have to be out of your gourd!"
"Non, I say, non!"
"Geez, are you crazy or what?"
Sinister's voice, a bit petulant, rose above the din. "Oh come now. I never get to have any fun. All I ever get to do is think up crazy evil genetic experiments and perform evil operations in the name of science. You'd think once in a while I'd get a break from being the bad guy and get to enjoy myself." Everyone rolled their eyes in unison.
"Oh, puuuuleeze!" Jubilee spoke everyone's thoughts. "I thought doin' all those experiments was your idea of fun."
"Well of course I enjoy some of it.." Gasps all around with more protests against his joining the game. "But it tends to get old after awhile. All that screaming can wear a man's nerves thin." Many X-men were now shaking their
heads.
"Come on." Did Sinister sound like he was pleading? "I promise to be on my least evil behavior. Please." He was definitely whining now.
Rogue motioned to the others to huddle up. "Just a moment, sugah?"
Tense whispered voices came from the huddle. Occasionally a "non", or a "no flamin way" or a "you've got to be out of your gourd," distinctly came from the group. Finally they walked back to Sinister.
"Okay, sugah." Rogue drawled. "You can play. But first, no cheating, ya hear."
"Of course. I never cheat." Eyes rolled again. "Except maybe that time during Inferno..."
"And you can use your powers. But NO, absolutely NO, killin', hear?"
"Certainly."
"And NO stealin' DNA samples while our backs are turned."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"And one more thing, sugah..."
"Yes?"
"Tag. You're it." Rogue leapt for the sky after punching Sinister in the stomach and headed back toward the mansion, as the rest of the X-men scattered.
Sinister, barely feeling the blow, sprang after them with an evil smile. (It was just so hard for him not to have some evilness in every gesture he made, seeing as that was how all the writers characterized him.) He caught Jubilee
with a tentacle just as she darted into the woods.
"Tag. You're it." He laughed maniacally and ran back toward the mansion. This was going to be fun. Jubilee scowled, cursing his name. "Stupid evil freak." She ran into the woods to hunt for the others and came across Gambit as he headed toward the lake. "Pafting" him with one of her fireworks momentarily blinding him, she ran up and tagged him before he could spring away. A slew of French and English curses flew from his mouth.
"Hey! Watch your mouth, Gumbo!" Jubilee grinned at him with her hands on her hips. "I'm just a kid."
Gambit snorted. "Sorry, petite. Caught me off guard. But cha better watch out next time." He ran off into the woods as Jubilee headed back toward the mansion.
Angel was flying low to the edge of the woods wondering who was it when suddenly the Cajun leapt from a tree branch tackling the winged mutant to the ground. He grinned his devil may care grin as he kissed the feathered man on the lips. "You're it, mon ami." Angel pushed him off with a snarl wiping his lips. "Damn you, Cajun!" He hollered at the X-men, but the man had vanished back toward the mansion.
Suddenly all the intercoms came to life as a squeal came over them. "Guys..." came the terrified voice of Jubilee. "I think we have a problem."
Wolverine growled over the com. "What is it darlin'? If Sinister's not playin' fair, I'll gut him."
"It's not Sinister." Jubilee replied. "Why are all the evil mutants picking on me. Get up here to the mansion, pronto."
Once again X-men came out of the woodwork with a swiftness that defied physics, unless you happened to be a mutant, to find Jubilee caught by the collar of her uniform and struggling in the air kicking her legs about wildly.
"Magneto!" The X-men shouted in unison. Even Sinister joined in.
Magneto dropped Jubilee on the ground. She yelped and turned on Magneto ready to give him a face full of "pafts", but realized quickly his magnetic shield would prevent any injury. Instead she crossed her arms and stamped her foot. "What's the big idea?" She asked furiously. "Can't you evil guys pick on someone your own size?"
"I mean you no harm, Jubilation Lee." Magneto told her.
"Riiiiiighhht. Like I've heard that before."
"I was merely scanning your estate, as I do every morning in Genosha, for any signs of a threatening nature..."
Voices rose in protest once again, joined by Sinister who even said, "They're the good guys. They never take the initiative. They don't have to." Eyes rolled.
"In any case," Magneto continued, "I watched you allow Sinister join your game of TAG, and well I couldn't see why I shouldn't be allowed to play."
"Oh for crimeny's sake, this is gettin' flamin' ridiculous," Wolverine growled. "Are all the evil bad guys takin' a day off? Who's next? Sabertooth?"
A hand came out of the crowd of X-men suddenly grabbing Jubilee once again by her collar. "Ya wanna make somethin' of it, runt?"
Jubilee just hung there in his grasp putting her hands to her face. "This is gettin' really, really old." She sighed.
"No flamin' way!" Wolverine howled. "Magneto maybe. But no Sabertooth. He doesn't know the meanin' of the word "fair"."
"Oh come on, runt." Sabertooth whined. "I won't even use my claws. Come on. Please. I never get to have fun."
"I thought killing and gutting people was your idea of fun?" Jubilee spoke everyone's thoughts' once again.
"Well, now that you mention it..." Sabertooth grinned as eyes rolled back again threatening to freeze that way. "But I swear, I just want a day offa the killin'."
All the X-men looked at each other. Then Storm said, "Okay, you both can play. But the rules are the same."
The two evil villians nodded in unison, "We can use our powers, but no killing," Magneto said.
"And no cheating," Sabertooth continued.
"And no stealing DNA samples while our backs are turned," Sinister added, wagging his finger at them. Then he stopped. "Oh that's just me. Never mind."
"I have one question, though." Magneto said. "Why does the person who was "it" run back to the mansion after they tag someone?"
"Oh, yeah." Wolverine replied. "That's the beer resurrection run. Ya gotta chug a beer after ya tag someone ta get back in the game. My rule." He grinned malevolently. (Not all the evilness had come out of him since he'd
been The Horseman Death.)
"That doesn't seem quite fair," Magneto said. "After all you have your healing factor. You won't get drunk."
"It's why it's my rule," Wolverine answered, his grin turning even more evil (if that was possible). "Ya wanna make somethin' of it Maggie?"
"Humor him," Jean telepathically told Magneto. "If you don't want to drink, he won't know."
Magneto smiled. "Well it sounds like it makes the game more interesting."
"Ja." Kurt said hiccupping. He'd been tagged quite frequently earlier in the day and was now completely soused. Of course he'd chugged a lot more than one beer on his resurrection trip.
"Oh we forgot to tell you the most important rule." Warren said coming up behind Magneto and tapping him on the shoulder. Magneto turned not realizing he'd been caught until Warren said, "Tag. You're it." Once again the X-men
scattered. Magneto roared with laughter and took to the sky to seek out his victim. It wasn't long before his senses, tuned to the electromagnetic field, spotted a hidden Jean Grey. Unable to pick up his thoughts due to his psy
dampening helmet she was tagged immediately and Magneto headed back toward the mansion to chug his first beer of the day.
Once again a high pitched squeal broke through the air. Then across the comlinks came a frantic voice. "I don't believe this! I just don't believe this!"
The X-men quickly ran to her defense.
"Cyclopalyse!" They sang in unison.
"Oh, for pity's sake, can't you stop doing that?" Sinister asked shaking his head irritated by the way the X-men seemed to do everything in unison. "Don't you have the least bit of individuality amongst the lot of you?"
"We don't have to," Storm replied. "We're the good guys. We don't have to take initiative."
"A lot like Lemmings," Jean said in all seriousness.
"What the hell are you doin' here?" Wolverine growled, once again extending his claws in a threatening gesture. "If ya bother Jeannie, I'll gut ya."
"I was just hoping to join your game," Cyclopalyse answered. Eyes rolled back again, some even freezing. "It just looked like a lot of fun. Of course that could be the Cyclops psyche trying to exert control." His one red eye turned
on Jean. "You know he's still alive. You people just never die."
Jean's eyes grew wide, but Rogue pushed her away pulling out a long legal-looking document from one of the secret pockets of her uniform. "Of course we don't die, sugah. It's all in our contract. You think the fans want us to die?" She narrowed her eyes at Cyclopalyse. "'Course, you villians don't seem to die that easy either."
"What do you take us for?" Sinister answered her. "We're evil, not stupid." He looked over at Sabertooth idly picking his tooth with a claw. "Well some of us aren't." He pulled out his own legal looking document. "We have
contracts too."
"Well, ya'll, does Cyclopalyse get to join?" All the X-men looked at each other an nodded in unison.
"Stop that!" Sinister hollered. "If you do one more thing in unison, I'm out of here."
"Okay." They said in unison. Sinister vanished. Even the smoke left from his teleporting looked miffed.
"You know the rules, sugah?" Rogue asked the villian.
"Yes. I've been watching for several hours now." Cyclopalyse answered. "And I'm afraid, Jean, I'm well aware of the last rule." He sprang away from the telepath and ran into the woods.
"Damn!" Jean shouted as she ran after him. "Give me back my husband!"
Logan scratched his head. "This is gonna take awhile. Anyone up for a beer?"
"Yeah." The others said in unison except for Kurt who had passed out just after Sinister had vanished.
"We really need to stop doing that," Storm said.
"Doing what?" The X-men asked in unison.
"Never mind. Let's go get that beer."
All the X-men headed back toward the mansion.

 

END