Title: Raise and Call
Author: Wyrd ([email protected])
Pairing / Main characters: It's a party!
Summary: Boys' night at the Mansion. With a crossover guest star. Slash implications. (BtVS/X-Men)
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Wish I did... Then they'd always be naked.
Archive/distribution: Ask. I'm easy.
Notes: Xander is Logan's son and a mutant in this story. Though his mutant power is not relevant to the story, and the rest of the mansion is unaware of his exact relationship with Logan.
Raise and Call
~A quiet night at the X-men mansion.~ Logan mentally snorted to himself. The beer was flowing. He had a stogie to chew on. He broke even at poker. Taking another draw on his beer, Logan felt momentarily content. He looked around.
Head in his arms, Kurt was passed out sitting next to him at the table.. Hank, Warren and Remy were arguing over something. He hadn't really been listening that closely to what. Instead, he had been watching the newest member of the household play pool with Bobby.
He smirked, or rather, watching the new kid clean Icecube's clock on the pool table. His smirk faded as he contemplated Xander. His son. He still couldn't get use to that idea. His son. Physically, he guessed you could see it, if you looked hard enough.
Same chin. Same nose. Dark hair. Kid was taller.
Though the muscle mass was there. Just not as obvious with the added height. His inventory was interrupted when the two younger mutants made their way back over to the table. Drake was talking a mile a minute as usual.
"Where the hell did you say you were from again? Let me guess, your mutation has something to do with angle vectors... You're a mutant pool shark! Say, you ever play for money? I know this bar..."
Bobby verbally stumbled at the soft interruption. "Huh?"
"Speed kills man."
Logan looked back at the table. The poker game had pretty much degenerated into a serious beer drinking bullshit session hours ago, but even that seemed to be winding down. ~ Kids today. No stamina.~
"Well, mon ami. I tink I win." Gambit drawled as he reached for the pile of bills.
"What's the bet?" Bobby asked distractedly.
Gambit looked up and smirked. "Most... ah in'terstin..." He waved his hand as if trying to grasp the most appropriate word. "Date?"
"What did the Cajun sex god win with?" Bobby asked as he swigged from his beer, now paying full attention.
"Triplets," Warren said with a combination of envy and disgust.
"Hold it right there, your divinity. Male or Female?"
The entire table, those who were conscious anyway, went quiet at Xander's question. Astonished, it was the most any of them had heard the kid voluntarily say, since Logan showed up on the doorstep with him.
Gambit looked up at Xander still smirking. He took his hand of the money and leisurely sat back taking a long draw of his cigarette. "Femme. Homme tink he can top ol' Gambit?"
Xander looked at the men sitting around the table. He pulled out his wallet with a smirk, mirroring Gambits', and laid a three twenties on the pot. "Big bad mutants and you can't beat Triplets? Tsk. Tsk."
Xander pulled a chair around and sat facing off Gambit.
"High School biology teacher. Wanted me..."
"Dat' non beat triplets..."
"Hey! Still talking here- Did I mention I was a high school student at the time?"
"Did I mention she wasn't human? Bug demon. Looked like a huge preying mantis when the glamor came off. So, unless those triplets weren't human. I'll just take this..." Xander reached for the money.
"Non." Gambit shook his head. He fished some bills out of a pocket. Put three twenties on the pile and said, "Zombie Queen."
"You're joking, right? There's no such thing..." Warren sputtered.
"You had sex with an animated corpse?" Hank looked like he couldn't decide if this was fascinating or horrifying.
"Oh. That's just gross." Bobby put down his beer looking more than a little green.
"What! She war belle! Didn't know until after, she warn't exactly livin'."
"Defensive much?" Xander asked laughing softly. "Bet she told you, didn't she? After she got you in the sack."
"Oui," Gambit answered surprised.
"Yah. They're like that." Xander looked lost in a memory.
"And you would know how?" Warren asked.
"Your mother was a zombie?" Bobby asked.
"No. M-U-M-M-Y. As in curse of. God, I thought I was in love with her. My beautiful Incan Princess. She didn't tell me she was bandage-girl until after I found out she ate a couple of my friends." Xander frowned slightly, and then reached out, nonchalantly snagging what was left of Bobby's beer.
"I think that makes us even, Homme..." Gambit drawled.
"Yah. Dead even," Bobby snickered.
"Not quite." Xander emptied out his wallet matching Gambit's sixty and putting another sixty on the pile. "You gonna call?"
"Oui. Whatcha yah got?"
"Uh uh. Money on the table. "
Remy quirked an eyebrow in Xander's direction, with a "yah don't trust little o' moi" expression.
"Not as far as I could throw you. Money on the table or I take the pot." Xander tapped the table and shot a raised eyebrow right back at Gambit.
The bills seemed to appear in his hand, as Remy put another sixty on the pile. "Call."
"Vampire," Xander said softly and took a swig of beer.
"Male or Female?" Bobby quipped remembering Xander's earlier question.
Xander glanced quickly at Bobby, and then with little expression said, "Both."
"You slept with a vampiric hermaphrodite?" Bobby blurted out. Hank and Warren just stared open mouthed.
Xander rolled his eyes. "No. Both male and female vampires." He looked back at Remy. "Well?"
"Non. Yah don't win with that, homme." Remy drawled, "Bin der, done dat."
"Didn't Storm say something about you guys running up against Dracula a while back?" Warren asked the group then looked appalled at Remy. "You didn't."
"You slept with Vlad?!?" Xander interrupted.
Remy shrugged. "So?"
Xander startled everyone with his laughter. "That slut! Is there any one bat-boy hasn't slept with?"
Remy glanced around the table at his fellow X-men. "At this table? Oui. I think just moi... and-"
"Me," Xander confirmed still laughing. "You haven't slept with any of the 'Scourge of Europe', have you? Angeleus, Spike and/or Drusilla Oh, or Darla?"
"Good. That would just be of the weird."
"And of course, this conversation is no where near weirdness..." Bobby broke in sarcastically.
"Non. Not yet, n'est pas." Remy continued, "Tink we be even again, homme." Remy paused and tilted his head back as if mulling the issue over. "Mutant assassin? She head de Assassin guild in Nawlins. Tink she and I still married..."
Several voices interrupted and intermingled. "Married? What? You're married? Does Rogue know?"
Remy looked at his fellow teammates amused. "Oui. Arranged marriage. Pere's idea. Didn't work out. Rogue..." He looked away uncomfortably. His rather public breakup with Rogue was still a sore spot, and he'd really didn't want to poke at it, especially with this audience. Looking back with a gallic shrug, he concentrated instead on Xander. Unlike the others, there was no look of shock or recrimination on the boy's face. ~Well, not Logan either. But can't ever tell with that homme.~ "Well?"
"Nope. Psycho Slayer. Took my virginity and then tried to kill me." Pausing Xander mused aloud, "You know that happens to me a lot. I must have heat activated tattoo or something. 'After sex- please kill'."
Attention swung back to Xander.
"We could check it out. Come down to the lab and..." Hank said seriously, trying to be helpful, more than a little drunk.
"And what? Play doctor?" Raising an eyebrow, Xander grinned at the serious blue mutant.
The tension broke at the table. Bobby giggled, and the others smiled. Even Logan smirked a little.
"Uh. No... No! That's not what I meant... I..." Hank stumbled into silence blushing furiously.
"Relax, Henri. Yah gonna burst a blood vessel or somtin'... Homme just funnin' yah."
"Must be falling down on the job, if you can't recognize a snarky comment there, Blue." Bobby's eyes glinted with mischief. He moved, draping himself across the older mutant fluttering his eyelashes. "Oh Hank! Is it over already? You brute. You said I was the only one!"
The erupting laughter only increased, when Hank dumped the squirming Bobby to the floor on his ass.
Bobby bounced up clutching his hand to his chest dramatically, appealing to his audience. "Where's the love!?!?"
"It's an Xmen kinda love. Instead of flowers - icepacks and aspirin," Warren snickered.
"Instead of breakfast in bed - bandages and neosporin...?" Xander inquired.
"Romantic getaways mit you choice of terrorist interruption..." Kurt blearily said moving his head slightly.
"Thought yah war passed out, Misfit..." Logan drawled.
"Uhmm, you guys are too loud?" He looked up blinking. "M'going to bed." With a loud yawn, he smiled and teleported out of the room. Leaving everyone at thetable choking on his sulfurous goodnight.
"Oh, God. That's vile!" Xander gasped and made a ewww face.
"You get used to it.." Warren paused at the incredulous look on Xander's face. "No really! Well except for Logan." He glared at Logan. "Kurt never teleports around you, unless he's drunk or it's important, because of your delicate nose..." Warren pushed on his own nose in illustration. "Poor wolvie..."
"Worthington..." Logan's voice was a low growl.
"So, where were we..." Xander interrupted the beginning fight. "Assassin-Slayer match."
"How bout immortal sorceress?" Remy chimed in. "Tink she war immortal. Been 'round long time."
"Nah. Thousand year old plus ex-vengence demon. Telling me about exploding male genitalia was her idea of pillow talk."
"Tink we just even, Homme... Match and Match," Remy concluded.
"Yeah. You're both sluts!" Warren slurred.
Ignorring Warren completely, Remy suggested. "What you say we split de pot and call it even den..."
Xander nodded and started divvying up the money. "Works for me."
"Hold on. I got it. You shits were setting us up! You planned this!" Warren drunkenly slammed the table with an open hand. "What bullshit!"
"They're not lyin..." Logan's voice wasn't loud, but seemed to cut through Warren's tirade.
"And how the hell would you know?" Warren angrily glared at Wolverine. Logan tensed and leaned forward.
"Are you really that drunk? Or did those wings come with a bird brain?"
Xander once again interrupted. He looked at Logan. "Enhanced senses, right?" Not waiting for Logan to confirm, he shifted his gaze to Warren. "Built in lie detector Shit-for-Brains."
Logan looked at the boy inquiringly.
Xander shrugged and said, "Vampires. Same deal." He handed half of the divided pot to Remy. "Here."
"Warren. Come on. Think it's time for you to crash. Give me a hand, Hank?" Bobby stood and moved to his friend's side. Nodding, Hank moved to the opposite side of the winged mutant.
"Let's go, my pickled friend," Hank said gently.
Warren struggled to his feet. "You had just as much as me." Oh not good. Warren had shifted gears from aggressive offensiveness to defensive whining. Bobby rolled his eyes and shared a meaningful glance with Hank.
Bobby muttered. "Yeah, but WE didn't invite Wolverine to rip our faces off." The two half carried, half dragged their friend out the door, tossing 'Good Nights' over their shoulders.
"Well, I'm gonna take a walk and clear my head. Night." Xander rose and walked out the door.
Remy took a last draw on his beer, and watched the younger man leave with a speculative look, not noticing Logan watching him.
Logan growled softly at Gambit. "Leave the kid alone, Gumbo."
"What? Warn't you listenin'? Not exactly a kid. And you not de homme's pere, Logan."
"Actually. Yes, I am," Logan said as he stood. "Leave the kid alone, Remy."
Logan unsheathed a single fist of claws examining them minutely, as if for flaws, and then fixated on Remy again. "We never had this little talk, eh, Gumbo?"
"What talk, mon ami?" He watched in wide eyed astonishment, as Logan smiled wolfishly, turned and left. ~Sacre... Logan a 'Daddy'?~