Note: This story takes is my own version of how and why Tori gives his magic to Yue so that Yue and Julian could live. It also deals with a same-sex relationship. If this offends you, please don’t read it. These characters are not my original creation. If you would like to see a sequel, please e-mail me at [email protected] .

 

Dying of the Moon

 

By: A.J. Matthews

 

It’s happening again. I can feel it. I looked down at my sleeping little Mistress, who was cradled in my arms and winced. The snow blew around me, and I shivered slightly. I had wrapped her in my long robe to keep her warm. My wings blended in with the snow, as did my long silvery hair.

 

I flew through the air quickly. I have to get her there before the magic- my magic- gives out again.

 

Kero looked at me worriedly. “Want me to fly Sakura home, Yue?” He seemed… concerned, which surprised me greatly. There was no love lost between us. We argued a lot, both we both were very protective of Sakura. He was probably worried about me dropping Sakura, which I would never do.

 

“I’m fine,” I said automatically, knowing in truth I was anything but ‘fine’. “We’re nearly there, anyway. Transforming that Card took a lot out of her this time.”

 

“Yes, but Sakura will be fine in a few days.” Kero wasn’t too worried Sakura’s powers being weak for a few days. Then again, his life wasn’t in danger, like mine was.

 

“I suppose,” I said, stopping mid-swoop as pain coursed through me. I cringed, but held tightly to Sakura. She was my Mistress, and I was not going to let her down. Just a little longer, please, I prayed as I began to fly faster.

 

I couldn’t escape the facts any more- my magic powers were weakening daily now- so much, in fact, that even Tori had noticed that Julian seemed to be tired a lot lately. Then again, who wouldn’t notice? He’d been watching me strangely for the last two weeks. I knew it was only a matter of time now before I would disappear forever. But I didn’t want to. There was so much to live for- my new Mistress, Sakura, and if Clow Reed had somehow come back, it was also my duty to serve him. I couldn’t afford to think of the third reason that I kept hidden in the back of my mind.

 

“Yue?” said Kero softly.

 

“Yes?” I answered, looking at him.

 

“We’re here.” He hovered next to me, as I made a slow descent to the ground.

 

Sakura stirred in my arms and opened her eyes weakly.

 

“Yue? Where am I?” She was confused and tired- which I could relate to.

 

“Mistress, Kero and I brought you home.” I looked at her. “I have to change back into Julian or Tori will know something strange is going on if I bring you to the house. Just tell him that he was escorting you home, ok?”

 

She nodded, and then I changed back into Julian. It hadn’t hurt this much yesterday. I winced slightly before Julian’s personality took over, and I just hovered in the back of his mind, listening.

 

“Sakura? How did I get here?” Julian was confused. There were times when I thought it was inconvenient for Julian not to know that he and I shared the same body- and the same memories, and this was definitely one of them.

 

“Don’t you remember? You promised to walk me home.” Sakura tried to sound cheerful, but I knew she was worried, which felt strange to me. No one used to care if I was hurt or in trouble before. It felt kind of good. I couldn’t remember if Clow Reed had ever cared like that before, and decided to ask Kero about it later. On the other hand, who could say if that later would ever come?

 

“Sakura, there you are!” Tori came running over. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Thanks for bringing her home, Julian.”

 

“No problem,” Julian replied easily. “But I’d better be heading home myself…” His voice trailed as he cringed in pain, which I was doing inside.

 

“Oh no!” Sakura cried.

 

“Julian! Julian, are you ok?” Tori shook Julian slightly, trying to get him to respond.

 

Julian sank to the ground, his face full of pain. No, not now! Not in front of Tori! I cried.

 

“Can you hear me, Julian? Talk to me! What’s wrong?” Tori sounded very worried.

 

No…It was happening against my will…I was changing again…. back to myself. All I could see as I lay on the ground in agony was the shock on Tori’s face.

  

“What the…” Tori looked at his best friend in amazement as wings and long silvery, fine hair grew from him, his clothes changed to white… and his eyes… They were so beautiful. “Julian?”

 

I clenched my teeth. “I’m sorry, Mistress Sakura. I should have told you sooner. You, too, Tori.” I bowed my head in shame, as the agony seemed to grow stronger within me.

 

“Yue! You’re disappearing again!” cried Sakura with tears running down her face.

 

“Yue? I don’t understand this! What happened to Julian?” Tori was stunned, plain and simple.

 

“Please, Mistress Sakura… Allow me to speak to Tori… for a little while… alone. I will explain everything to him…” I whispered, growing weaker.

 

Sakura nodded slowly, and then walked inside. Kero followed, after looking back at me sadly. Nice to know you care, Kero, I thought.

 

“Who are you?” Tori asked, plain and simple.

 

“My name is Yue. I am the MoonGuardian. Julian is my human form.” I cringed again, as I struggled to stand but couldn’t.

 

“Huh?” Tori walked over to me and offered me a hand. I looked down in shame, because I didn’t feel worthy of his help. “Let me help you up.”

 

“I don’t deserve your help,” I whispered. I knew I couldn’t stand without his help, but….

 

“I’m not going to just leave you lying there like that,” Tori responded, his hand still outstretched.

 

Damn! Why did he always have to be so nice to me- no, Julian? I sighed, and reached my shaking right hand towards his left hand. He pulled me to my feet like I weighed nothing.

 

Instead of demanding answers, Tori walked around me, inspecting my altered appearance. “Now I know why Julian also raised my preternatural feelings. Because he is you. But does that mean that you- he was not my friend?” He looked slightly anxious.

 

“Yes. You were getting suspicious, weren’t you?” I looked at him, wishing that I didn’t feel like hell warmed over. “But Julian doesn’t know that I am his alter ego. We don’t share the same memories… which is why he blacked-out occasionally- because I took over. But… he truly cares for you as a friend.” Another wave of pain shot through me until I swayed slightly and blacked out. The last thing I remembered seeing was Tori’s face as I fell to the ground.

 

Tori caught me as I fell, and lowered me to the ground. He held my head and whispered, “What is happening to you Julian- no, Yue?”

 

I groaned slightly and struggled to open my eyes. “We… I… am dying.”

 

He looked truly horrified. “What? But why! Julian- you are my best friend!” And maybe more, he added silently.

 

“Haven’t you noticed that I, as Julian, am weak, pale, and tired all the time now?” At his nod, I continued, still feeling very woozy. “My magic… that sustains me… us… is fading.”

 

“But why?” He looked so sad that I longed to comfort him and reassure him. But I didn’t want to give him empty promises.

 

“Clow Reed was my creator. He also created Kero, the golden SunGuardian that went into the house with Sakura. Our mission is to protect the Master of the Clow Cards. Clow Reed used to be the Master, but he sent Kero and myself here, before he died, to Judge who would be the next Master.  The Master of the Clow Cards supports the lives of the Guardians, with magic. Sakura is my Mistress, because she is Mistress of the Clow Cards now.” My eyes opened weakly and sought Tori’s.

 

“That’s why her abilities are stronger now. But if she’s the Master, shouldn’t she be supporting you?” He sounded a little confused and bewildered.

 

I shook my head weakly. “No, Sakura is not strong enough yet to support me. You saw her tonight- how tired she was. Kero and I were bringing her home. It cost me too much magic. Kero doesn’t need her magic to support him… but I do. Without it, I am fading. It’s only a matter of days before I disappear completely.” Damn! Why do I always hurt the ones I care about the most?

 

Tori denied that statement. “You can’t! I won’t let you! Don’t you know how much you mean to me, Yue?”

 

“Tori,” I began, trying to make him feel better. “You don’t know the real me at all.” I looked at him with sadness and regret in my eyes. “I have lived so long… and seen so much. But…” and I clenched my teeth in pain, and continued speaking, “… you are one of the best friends I have ever had.”

 

“Yue…” He looked so surprised.

 

  I looked at him and reached towards his face, caressing his right cheek softly. “You were always nice to me, especially when I first came here. If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have known what a gift it was to have a friend who cares about you. Tori, you and Sakura have shown me what it feels like to know someone cares if you’re hurt or in pain. Thank you for that.” The pain tremors were getting worse.

 

Tori leaned into the caress, sighing softly in pleasure. “Yue?”

 

“Yes?” I whispered softly, as I continued the caress with my right hand, even as it wavered and turned transparent, and then reappeared.

 

I shivered in the cold, and Tori looked down at me. “You are the most beautiful angel I’ve ever seen.” His voice held an odd note in it. He caught my hand and held it, even as it began to fade again. “You’re shivering. I should take you inside so you can get warm.”

 

“No!” I denied, and hissed slightly in pain. “Aiden would not understand what-who I am. And Sakura would be devastated to see how far my condition has grown. I…I’m sorry for deceiving you, Tori.”

 

“Julian? Yue? It doesn’t matter what your name is. You are my friend, and that’s what’s important. Can’t anyone help you? Maybe Lee could-”

 

I shook my head. “He’s not strong enough, either, to support me.” Why did this happen? So I could just reveal the truth to Tori… only to die in his arms? To my surprise, a single tear dripped out of my eyes.

 

“Yue, why are you crying?” He looked at me sorrowfully.

 

“Because… because I don’t want to die!” There, I’d said it.

 

“I don’t want you to die either! Isn’t there anyone who has the magic to help you? Couldn’t I help you?” He sounded wistful… and his voice was full of longing.

 

I wouldn’t look him in the eye. He narrowed his eyes and looked down at me. “I can help you, can’t I? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

 

“The price… the price is too much,” I said, with tears in my eyes. I was not going to be selfish. “I won’t make you suffer. It would hurt me too much.” I managed to sit up, bracing myself on Tori.

 

“What makes you think I care about some price? You’re dying and I can help!” He sounded so outraged. I looked down at the ground and shook my head.

 

“You don’t understand. If you helped me, yes, I would live. However… you would lose your magic abilities. I can’t do that to you.” I turned away from him, partly in pain… and partly in sorrow.

 

“Whoa. Must take some heavy-duty magic to keep you alive, Yue. What do I have to do?” He sounded so sincere. Maybe he didn’t fully understand.

 

“Tori…” I looked him straight in the eyes. “You would never be able to see your mother’s spirit again! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

 

“I know. But, I can’t just let you die! You mean too much to me for that!” Tori grabbed my right hand again.

 

“You would give that up? For me?” I was incredulous. Did he know how much a gift that was?

 

He placed my clutched hand onto his heart. “Always. Don’t you know… that I love you?”

 

I never dreamed I would hear those words, but I felt they were too good to be true. “You love Julian- not the ‘real’ me.”

 

“No! I love you- Yue. I’ve known you- as Julian were different from other humans- but I still loved you. You are kind to everyone. And a fabulous friend to me!”

 

I gasped and turned towards him. The dizziness swept over me and I fell forward- only to be stopped by Tori, who leaned me against his chest. “I don’t deserve a friend like you,” I whispered.

 

He smiled wisely. “Yue, you are more loved than you know. Sakura, Madeline, Lee, and even Kero care about you!”

 

I looked up at him, my eyes full of pain and longing. He smiled again and leaned down. He kissed my lips gently…. which filled me with such warmth that I was no longer cold. “Feeling better,” he teased. “Now, tell me how to help you.”

 

I explained it as I best could to him, and told him that he would probably fall asleep afterwards. I tried to stifle my yawn, but it didn’t work.

 

“Ok. Yue, promise me something.” He looked at me, his eyes full of warmth… and love. “Protect Sakura, because I won’t be able to sense when she’s in danger anymore.”

 

“Oh, Tori. You didn’t have to ask me that.” I smiled at him gently. “I will always protect her. And you.”

 

He nodded and smiled back. “Do it.” Then he closed his eyes.

 

I sat up straight, and then reached out my two arms to rest on his shoulders. I focused on drawing the magical energy out of him- trying not to hurt him as I had been hurt- and ended the transfer as soon as the spell that created me was stabilized for good. To my surprise, he opened his eyes.

 

“You didn’t fall asleep? How do you feel?” I was concerned.

 

“Kind of weak. But how are you?” He stood up, and pulled me up with him. Snow clung to our clothes when we stood.

 

“I’m much better now, thanks to you.” I smiled gratefully. I reached out and took his hand.

 

He smiled back. I think he was leaning down to kiss me again, when Sakura’s voice jumped out at us, and we sprang apart.

 

“What are you two doing, Tori? Yue should go home and rest… Hey, you look a lot better now, Yue. Guess Tori was willing to help you after all,” she said. She knew I had been afraid he would not help me once he found out about the deception. Her eyes saw my hands holding his and her face turned pink. “Were you two in the middle of something here?”

 

I was too afraid to say anything, but Tori spoke right up. “Yeah, we were. But-“ he yawned, “I think it’s bedtime for all of us.”

 

“I should probably head home as well,” I said, expanding my wings. But part of me was hesitant to go. I looked at Tori.

 

“You can’t go home in a snowstorm!” he protested, while admiring my wings. “You’ll freeze!”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Sakura said. She ran over to me and handed me my long robe. “Thanks, Yue.”

 

“You’re welcome, Mistress,” I replied and sneezed.

 

Sakura let out a tiny giggle. “Yue, did you catch a cold?”

 

I yawned again. “Julian’s… my grandparents… are going to worry if I don’t come home.”

 

Tori protested, “You’re in no condition to fly home. And you look really tired again.”

 

“It’ll take a few days for my magic to raise back up to full strength.” I looked at Sakura. “You should be asleep, especially after what happened after you transformed that Card today!”

 

“What happened?” asked Tori curiously.

 

“She passed out because her magic, while growing stronger with each Card she transforms, is still weak. That’s why I was carrying her; she was asleep.” I looked at Tori.

 

He nodded slowly. “But I still think you should sleep here tonight.”

 

“I order it,” said Sakura, giggling slightly, because I was still holding Tori’s hand.

 

“Very well, Mistress.” I looked at her, and then back at Tori. “Julian and I have separate minds. He won’t remember any of this. Sakura knows this already. Tell him… tell him that he fell asleep after drinking some hot chocolate, and that it’s much too late for him to return home alone.”

 

“Why don’t you share the same memories?” Tori asked.

 

“It was part of Clow Reed’s spell. I’m not sure why, though. I haven’t found a way to lower the effects- yet,” I said, looking directly into his eyes. “But I will, as soon as I can.”

 

“But you- well, part of you, will remember everything?” He was anxious.

 

I smiled and nodded. “Of course.”

 

To be continued (maybe)