“Shun, you have a visitor.” Shinobu said while poking his head into the room.

“Oh. Who is it?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t say.”

Shun walked down the hall anxiously. He seldom got visitors and he couldn’t even remember the last time a girl had come, but his smile faded when he saw who it was and he glared at Shinobu for getting his hopes up. It was a girl, but it was only an old friend from junior high that didn’t mean much to him anymore.

“Hi Sumiko. What are you doing here?” Shun said as he entered the room and the girl stood to greet him.

Shinobu, Mitsuru, Hasakawa and others drifted away and back to what they were doing when they realized nothing interesting was going on, but at dinner that night everyone was curious. Mitsuru, Shinobu and Hasakawa sat together near Shun and immediately began the interrogation.

“So who was she?” Shinobu asked.

“Oh, don’t worry about her. It’s kind of sad really.”

“What do you mean?” Hasukawa asked in between bites. He had to get to his food before Mitsuru did.

“Well, we were really good friends in junior high, but I guess she wanted more. She told me she loved me and I tried to let her down gently, but I just never thought about her in that way. The friendship was never really the same after that.”

Shinobu winced slightly as he saw Mitsuru drop his chopsticks. Mitsuru closed his eyes as his thoughts leapt back to a day about a month ago. The similarities were startling. Mitsuru had poured his heart out to Shinobu not really knowing what to expect. Sometimes Shinobu was so distant that he could never really tell what he was thinking, but as soon as he said those three words he knew it was a mistake. The look on Shinobu’s face made it clear that he did not feel the same way. Shinobu had apologized and said he hoped they could remain friends, but Mitsuru’s heart had shattered and it was only now that he was getting over it. For days after that Mitsuru and Shinobu had barely spoken, but today had been different. They had even teased Hasakawa together like old times, but then Shun’s visitor had brought it all back. Feelings of regret, anger and sadness swirled around Mitsuru’s soul as he struggled with his chopsticks. He just couldn’t seem to concentrate. Shinobu watched with a twinge of guilt as the chopsticks shook in Mitsuru’s hands.

“Shinobu… didn’t you hear me?” Shun said staring at Shinobu.

“What… I’m sorry what did you say?”

“What would you have done in that situation?” Shun repeated.

“Oh… I don’t know… probably the same thing… I guess.” He tried to avoid looking at Mitsuru as he said it.

The brown haired boy was only half listening, but he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. Abruptly he stood up, took his tray and left the cafeteria. The three others stared after him with concern and disbelief.

“What was that all about?” Hasakawa said.

“I don’t know.” Shinobu said innocently.

They both had different ways of dealing with the situation. Mitsuru sank into his own little world while Shinobu put up a false exterior. Neither approach was helping the situation and at this rate it could only get worse.

Mitsuru wandered the streets around the school for several hours trying to figure out what he should do next. The city seemed so empty and cold, but he did not want to go back to his room. He could picture Shinobu’s smirk as he came in and now it was so late that he’d have to sneak in through the window. Would Shinobu even let him in? How would he explain what had happened?

“Everything was going so well… but I guess I’m not over you yet. I’m not sure I ever will be. Damn you Shinobu! Damn you!” Mitsuru thought to himself as he sank onto a bench and let the tears fall.

A cold wind blew the autumn leaves around and Mitsuru shivered. He wiped his eyes, stood up hesitantly and headed back to the dorm. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he knew he couldn’t stay out here all night.

Shinobu lay in his bed staring at the bunk above him. It was empty and despite all efforts to conceal it, that worried him. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Mitsuru’s face and that piercing look in his eyes accusing him.

Shinobu got up when he heard a noise at the window and looked out just in time to see Shun open his window and Mitsuru crawl inside. Shinobu breathed a sigh of relief. At least he was safe, but he couldn’t help glancing at the empty bunk above him and wishing Mitsuru was there. As his thoughts centered on his friend he put his hand on the wall that joined the two rooms.

“Mitsuru…” he said softly and rested his cheek on the smooth wall. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers over the surface. At least he could feel his presence. He’d always been able to do that and even though it wasn’t as close as he would have liked it to be, he was finally able to fall asleep knowing Mitsuru was nearby in the next room.

“Mitsuru… what’s this about?” Hasakawa said annoyed.

Mitsuru answered with a blank stare and a pleading look at Shun. Shun laid some blankets on the floor.

“There… Mitsuru you can sleep here.”

“Thanks” he said softly as he settled into the makeshift bed.

“But… I’m the dorm president – I deserve to know…”

“Hasakawa!” Shun said sternly. “Let’s just let him sleep.”

Mitsuru smiled ever so slightly and looked at Shun gratefully “Thanks.” he repeated before drifting off into a restless sleep.

To be continued…