This idea just wouldn’t leave me alone. I like Aya. Really, I do, but somehow all of my ideas seem to either exclude him completely or have him being a real bastard. This time it is the latter. I’ve never written a lemon before and I’m not sure I ever will again so please be kind. Comments are very much appreciated.
Author: samuraiheart Email: [email protected]Title: Bed of LiesType: one-shotRating: NC-17 Spoilers: noneWarnings: yaoi, lemon, sex, PWPish Keywords: bed of lies, AyaxKen
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by samuraiheart
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Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their respective owners (Project Weiss, etc.). The song is by Matchbox Twenty and I don’t own them either.
Notes: This takes place during some indeterminable time after the series, but there are no spoilers. I don’t know where Yohji and Omi are. They’re probably around somewhere, but you don’t need to know for the story.
Italics indicate lyrics.
Warning: This is a yaoi fic and it is lemony. That means SEX. In this case it is between two guys so please do not read this if that offends you or you are underage. Also, this is not a happy fic. You have been warned. If you’re still brave enough to continue, enjoy!
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[No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out
and turn in
And there’ll be
no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it
down to learning
I am]
Ken let the glass of water fall from his grasp and shatter on the tiled surface of the kitchen floor as he heard the words of the answering machine message. It was a girl and the message was for Aya and she had said that she loved him. Ken gripped the edge of the counter top and tried to take a deep breath. His voice shook as he called out to his lover in the next room.
“Aya, do you know someone named Rika?”
Aya raised an eyebrow as he poked his head out from the doorway. “Yeah, did she call?”
Ken’s eyes widened and he felt a lump forming in his throat. Not again. This couldn’t be happening again. “Yes.”
Aya nodded and walked toward the machine to press play. Ken started to protest, but it was too late. He heard the familiar beep and her voice again. “Hi, Aya-kun. This is Rika. Is tomorrow evening good for you? Call me. I love you.”
The words stung even more the second time and Ken had to bite his lip to keep calm as Aya nodded and headed back to the bedroom without saying a word. Ken stood there staring at the answering machine in disbelief. How could Aya do this? Doesn’t he even care? Ken shook his head and took a step towards the bedroom. He hesitated for a moment. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this was just some sort of misunderstanding. He took another calming breath and decided to give himself a few minutes to relax before he asked Aya about the girl. That would be best.
Ken knelt down beside the broken glass and picked up the largest jagged pieces before finding a broom and sweeping up the tiny sparkling splinters that were left behind. He dumped the mess into the garbage can and walked swiftly toward the bedroom door. His heart beat quickly in his chest and he felt a growing sense of dread and familiarity rising in his chest. How many times had they had this fight? How many other girls? How many other guys? Too many. This couldn’t go on. Ken nodded purposefully as he knocked firmly on the wooden door separating him from his lover. This would be the last time. Somehow he would make sure of that.
[Don’t think that I can take another empty moment
Don’t think that
I can take another hollow smile
It’s not enough
just to be sorry.
Don’t think that I could take another talk about it.]
“Yes?” Aya called through the closed door in response to Ken’s knock.
Ken swung the door open resolutely and walked over to the window where Aya was standing. “Who is she?” Ken asked sullenly.
Aya shook his head and turned toward the dark-haired man. “Does it matter?” Aya replied nonchalantly. His eyes were dull with boredom and this only added to Ken’s sense of outrage.
“How could you?” he choked out as he felt the tears threatening to show themselves again. His throat ached at the effort to suppress them. His voice rose in anger, but he couldn’t keep from raising the pitch of his voice as well. The squeakiness near the end seemed to mock the intentions of the next few words. “Damn. How could you do this to me again, Aya?”
Ken’s eyes widened with sorrow and pain as Aya shook his head and his lips curved upwards in a faint smile. He reached out and ruffled Ken’s hair playfully. “You’re so cute when you’re angry.” He answered noncommittally and turned away from Ken’s gaze.
Ken clenched his fists and tried to find the best way to phrase his next question. “Do you love her?” He tried not to let the bitterness seep through, but it dripped off his words like a sugary syrup.
Aya’s eyes danced with mischief for a moment, but they could not mask the venom in his response. “Does it matter, Ken? I don’t give a damn about you and we still sleep together.”
[Just like me you got needs
And they’re only
a whisper away
And we softly
surrender
To these lives that we’ve tendered away]
Ken opened his mouth and started to say something in response, but he couldn’t find the words. Something inside him seemed to shatter as he fought to understand what was happening. He stared straight ahead and tried to sort out everything he was hearing. It didn’t make sense. How could he be so cruel? After all this time, doesn’t this mean anything to him? “But…” Ken shook his head and looked down at the floor. “You said you loved me.” His voice sounded pathetic even to his own ears and he couldn’t find the strength to look up into that cruel gaze again.
Aya let out a soft breath and shook his head. He placed a delicate finger under Ken’s chin and raised his head to meet his gaze. Brown eyes peered up at him with a mix of emotions. “I lied.” Aya said in an even tone. He let go of Ken’s chin abruptly and circled the young man glancing over his lover’s form in mock curiosity.
[No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out
and turn in
And there’ll be
no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it
down to learning
I am]
Aya’s words cut through Ken like a knife and he fought to stay in control as their meaning set in. Aya was staring at him now and he felt more than a little uncomfortable. Tears stung the edges of his eyes and he blinked back the salty droplets before they could stain his cheeks. He wandered over to the bed and sat down carefully on the edge near the wall. He leaned his head against the cool surface and stared ahead of him without seeing. The dim outline of the bedroom faded away as images and words danced through his memory and he found it more and more difficult to keep the tears at bay.
He closed his eyes and felt one warm tear slide down his cheek followed by another and another. He couldn’t stop them now. Soon they were accompanied by bitter sobs and he brought his hands up to his face to wipe away the moisture there. He felt so ashamed and so sad. He wondered how he could have ever believed the lies. He wondered what he was going to do now. He wondered why he had stayed for so long.
The younger man gasped at the feel of a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Aya sitting beside him with an unreadable look on his face. There was a mix of many emotions there and it was difficult to determine his true intentions.
“Leave me alone. Just go away.” Ken whispered sorrowfully as he brushed Aya’s hand away from his shoulder and turned back towards the wall.
“Come on, Ken.” Aya purred as he inched closer and kissed a tear-stained cheek.
Ken felt the warm breath on his cheek and pulled away. “I said leave me the hell alone!” He shouted angrily. He stood up and tried to walk away, but Aya grabbed his hand tightly and refused to let go. Ken sat down reluctantly and turned to face the redhead. “What!?” Ken said gruffly. He couldn’t look him in the eye. He stared at his lap as he waited for a response.
“Why are you so upset, Ken? Isn’t this what you wanted?” Aya responded with threatening coolness.
Ken glared at his lover and twisted away from his grip to move further away. He stopped with his back against the headboard and fury burning in his brown eyes. “How the hell would you know? You never even-“
[Don’t wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don’t wanna be
somewhere where I just don’t belong
Where it’s not enough just to be sorry]
Ken stopped in mid-sentence as Aya leaned forward and pressed his lips against the younger man's mouth. Strong, graceful hands gripped his shoulders and pushed him back against the headboard as he felt Aya's tongue thrust between his lips. He squirmed away from the sensation at first and struggled to pull away from the kiss, but Aya moved with him and would not let their mouths part.
Finally, Ken gave in to his desire and began to return the kiss. He parted his lips a little more and moved his mouth against Aya's. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the protests in his mind.
Aya broke the kiss for a moment and piercing violet eyes glittered in the dim light of the bedroom. “I knew you couldn't resist.” He whispered seductively and leaned closer to place a row of teasing kisses along Ken's neck and then came to nibble on the other assassin's ear. Aya's tongue flicked along the edge of Ken's ear lobe playfully and then he sucked on the delicate piece of flesh. Ken leaned into the touch and bit his lip in an effort to keep from moaning. He closed his eyes and arched his back as Aya's hand slipped under his shirt and found one taut nipple to caress. Ken's hands clenched the bed sheets tightly as his breathing began to come in short gasps. His fingers twisted the silky fabric beneath them.
“Aya, please...” Ken said breathlessly.
“Please what?” Aya answered. He lifted his head slightly to look up at Ken. A devilish smile played across his lips as he began unbuttoning Ken's shirt.
“Please... stop...”
Aya pursed his lips and shook his head briefly. “Now why should I do that?” Aya slipped off Ken's shirt and ran his tongue over one of Ken's nipples. The small dusky area of flesh hardened at the tender touch and Ken clenched his teeth. He closed his eyes and felt wetness began to form at the edges of his eyes. Not enough to spill over. Tears born of frustration and want. He needed this, but he did not want it. He wanted it, but he did not need it.
“Aya...” Ken pleaded again but it was no use. His crimson-haired haired lover would not listen and Ken felt the tightness in his jeans that he could no longer ignore.
“You know you want me.” Aya whispered menacingly.
[Don’t you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more
than me
And I gave ‘til
it all went away
And we’ve only
surrendered
To the worst part
of these winters
That we’ve made]
It was just so much easier to give in. Easier to forget and let his body take over. Reluctantly Ken nodded in agreement and brought his hands up to Aya's shoulders. Why did all of their arguments always end this way? He leaned forward and kissed the other man passionately and tried to ignore the knowing look on Aya's face. He knew all along that it would come to this. It always did.
Ken pressed his lips against his lover's with unrestrained passion as he gave way to his desires and ran his hands through Aya's hair. His fingers moved through the silky strands with ease as he ran his tongue along Aya's lips and began to trace a path of kisses along Aya's jaw line and down to his collarbone. He slipped off Aya’s shirt and then paused to run his tongue along the creamy white skin of the swordsman's shoulder and his heart beat faster as he felt Aya respond to his touches.
“Mmmm... Ken...” Aya moaned as he reached out to loosen Ken's jeans and pull them off. Ken complied and slipped out of the stiff fabric with a little effort. He let his hands run down Aya's smooth strong back and gasped as Aya's hands found his growing erection. Aya's fingers ran along the tip gently teasing the sensitive area. Ken closed his eyes and bit his lip.
“Aya... please...” He whispered huskily. Aya gripped Ken's length a little tighter and began to stroke it rhythmically for a few moments. Ken rocked his hips to the touch and moaned in pleasure and need. He could feel the desire building in his groin as he came closer and closer to release. He opened his eyes wide when Aya let go and pulled away.
“Do you still want me to stop, Ken?” Aya asked. Ken felt the stinging at the corner of his eyes again, but he bit back the tears and shook his head.
“No, please Aya, don't stop...” He felt so helpless. He felt so dirty. He felt so alone and worthless. This was wrong, but why did it feel so good?
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! Please…” Aya bent down and ran his tongue along the length of Ken's desire and flicked it gently along the tip. His tongue pressed harder and moved faster as Ken gripped Aya's shoulders and pulled him closer to him. Aya pulled away briefly. “Do you love me, Ken?”
Ken's eyes widened at the question, but his mind was swimming with want and need. “Yes. Aya. Always. Please!”
Aya nodded and seemed satisfied with himself as he bent closer to Ken and took his length into his mouth. He sucked gently at first, but with more and more pressure and passion as Ken reached the edge of climax. Ken thrust into the warmth of Aya's mouth and tried to fight off the doubts and sadness in his mind. His universe consisted only of Aya and nothing else mattered. The world was not important right now or right here. It didn't matter what had been said or what had been done. He wished he could believe it.
His hips seemed to move of their own accord as he tried to tell himself that he was not here and he was not doing this again. He opened his eyes and looked into Aya's violet gaze as he cried out and came into Aya's sword-calloused hand. “Oh Aya!”
Amethyst eyes smoldered with passion and desire of their own as Aya pulled himself closer to Ken and kissed him fully on the lips again. Between breathless kisses he ran his hands along Ken's sculpted chest and up along his strong shoulders.
[I am all that I’ll ever be
When you – lay
your hands over me
But don’t go weak
on me now
I know that it’s weak, but god help me I need this]
Ken shuddered at the touch. It felt so good. Aya’s exquisite touch could melt away all of his doubts and all of his worries. He could exist here in these moments of passion and almost believe that Aya loved him. Ken could almost believe that he would see tenderness and compassion in those amethyst eyes, but he dared not look for fear of breaking the fragile fantasy.
Words weren't necessary as Aya's hands moved lower and brushed against Ken’s entrance. Ken fished for the lube in a drawer near the bed and Aya coated his fingers with the glistening liquid quickly tossing aside the tube and rubbing them inside of Ken until he could slide his length into him.
Ken whimpered and arched his back closer to Aya as he felt the warmth of Aya's desire near his entrance. He gasped slightly as Aya eased himself inside him and then began to thrust deeper. Ken clung to the bed sheets again and moaned softly as the initial pain melted away into pleasure and the two men began to move in unison as Aya thrust in and out of Ken's tight warmth and Ken arched closer to the redhead. Aya brought one hand up to fondle Ken's erection at the same time.
Both men got caught up in the dizzying heights of passion and finally, Aya's lust spilled into Ken's crevices and he cried out his lover's name at the moment of release. “Ken!” At nearly the same time, Ken felt the same pressure and building pleasure empty from his length. A pair of hands circled around Ken's waist as they moved close to each other again and lay beside each other in the bed.
[I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out
and turn in
And there’ll be
no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it
down to learning
I am]
Aya's head fell against the pillow as his eyes fluttered shut and he whispered goodnight to the dark-haired young man in his embrace. Ken laid his head against Aya's broad chest and listened to his lover's heartbeat and even breathing as the stars twinkled in the darkness of the late night sky.
His wide eyes glittered in the darkness as a single crystal tear fell down his cheek and traced a path along his jaw line and on to Aya's chest. Weariness tugged at his soul that had nothing to do with physical exhaustion. He was tired of these games, but desperately afraid of what life would be like without them. It was a horrible unending paradox.
He stared at the closed door a few feet away and wondered what would happen if Aya woke up to find him gone. Could he really sneak away so easily? He shivered in the cool night air and nestled closer to the warm body beneath him as Aya’s grip on him tightened in his sleep and he pulled Ken nearer to him.
Ken let out a deep breath and turned his gaze away from the darkness and back towards the bed. He laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. If he was lucky, maybe sleep would find him somewhere in the darkness of his own thoughts.
~Owari~
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samuraiheart: I don’t know who you can blame this time. <shrugs>
Ken: Maybe we should blame Aya.
Aya: <icy glare>
Ken: <Sweatdrop> Maybe not.
Aya: Maybe we should blame the person who wrote the story.
samuraiheart: <sweatdrop> I like you, though. I really do. And I love AyaxKen as a couple (not as much as YohjixKen or KenxYohji for that matter, but I still love them). Why can’t I just write a happy AyaxKen fic? The only other idea I have for them is a death fic that I will probably never write.
Ken: Who dies?
samuraiheart: I don’t think you want to know.
Ken: What does she mean by that?
Aya: <puts his arm around Ken> Let’s not worry about that right now. <whispers something into Ken’s ear>
Ken: <blushes> I’m sleepy. I think I’ll go to bed now.
Aya: Hey, wait for me!
samuraiheart: But it’s only 2 o’clock in the afternoon! <sighs>