Grass, spiders, and birds
6/22/05
Who do we think we are to play God with the grass?? Encourage it to grow with water, then mow it down. Encourage it to grow with water, then mow it down. Encourage it to grow with water, then mow it down! And grass is so persistent! It never gives up! It just keeps growing!! Well I'm going to keep mowing the grass until it gives up!!!
Have I illustrated the futility of having lawns yet? There's just no point. I mean I don't particularly enjoy the fact that my house is surrounded with grass. And yet everyone is expected to have and care for a lawn. Watering it so it will grow just so you can then mow it. Then water it some more. It's not only a waste of fresh water, it's a waste of effort. And yet we're all expected to keep and maintain lawns, if for no other reason than so the "property values won't go down." Sheesh.
Unless you live in Arizona I hear. What I hear is that they can have rock gardens around their houses instead. But not I believe because they've seen the futility of the whole lawn thing, but because there the grass has given up. Packed it in. Ain't gonna grow no more. So, rocks. I'd like to have a rock garden instead, but I wonder what weed control is like with that. Yeah, what I should do is just let my lawn return to a meadow of prairie wildflowers.
Spiders can swim! Yeah, I was mowing the lawn by the pond and I saw a spider swimming to shore. It was floating on it's body hairs like a water bug and paddling away with its eight little legs, and making pretty good time too. Its abdomen was about the size of a small grape. Amazing that it could even float.
Consulting the auguries. So I'm in Burger King staring at the Star Wars game piece. Which circle to scratch, which circle to scratch? How to decide? I did not have a coin to flip so I thought, "I'll consult the auguries! It worked for the Romans, it'll work for me." So I decided I'd look out the window and if I saw a bird I'd scratch the circle on the left, and if I did not see a bird, the one on the right. I looked out the window. No birds. I turned my head slowly until I was looking out the windows behind me. "Helping" the auguries. No birds. Slowly I turned my head back and then at the last possible moment a bird flew into view from over the Firestone! Yay! I scratched the circle in the left (with a french fry)! And... I lost. So much for the auguries. I guess I should've used "the force" instead.
