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Save the FFML! Part 19
By Schala
So apparently the ebonics suggestion worked...for some crazy reason...
Trystan: Hey, it's not the "Final," it's the "FANTASY," remember!
Schala: What does that have to do with anything?
Trystan: I dunno, it just sounded good at the time.
Schala: Deja vu.
Tritoch, Marie, Locke2, and Morandan sit up...they shake their heads, trying to clear their minds and figure out just what went on...
Morandan: Hey! My ears are unstuffed! That ebonics popped my ears! (looks around) And I'm not split anymore!
Marie: Yee-ha! We're not Magicite anymore!
Locke2: YES! I can walk again!
Tritoch: The power of ebonics is truly frightening...
Shadow: My suggestion WORKED! (dances around)
Locke2: Whoa, I have a miniature picture of Kaitlin in my bellybutton!
Kaitlin: So THAT'S where you got it!!
Locke2: No, wait, Kaitlin...AUUUUUUGH!!
Sephiroth: MY MATERIA!! (runs to the Rubber Chicken and cradles it) Mother, don't worry, we'll still find the Promised Land!!
Locke2: Oh crap, we forgot about Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: (turns to Morandan) You used the Materia and summoned Mother from her resting place! This cannot be forgiven!
Morandan: Uh...
Eric: I did not realize your mother was an oversized Rubber Chicken...
Kain: Actually, she looks a lot like a de-feathered Chocobo...
Magus: That's EXACTLY what an FF7 Rubber Chicken IS!!
N64 Man: Wait, so if she's your mother, does that mean YOU'RE a Rubber Chicken too?
Sephiroth: We are NOT Rubber Chickens! We are THE ANCIENTS! WE WILL RULE THE WORLD!! HA-HAAA!! As it is, we already rule this FFML!!!
Aaron C.: Ya wanna BET?!?
Sephiroth: (pulls out his sword) We DUEL!
Kaitlin: Oh, jeez. (casts Warp)
Morandan: Good move.
Locke2: With all this excitement, I wonder how John's doing?
Tritoch: Yeah, I wonder if he got his luggage back...
Cut to an airport somewhere in Canada...
John: Whoo, whatta flight! Am I glad to get off that plane!
He goes to the baggage claim area, where he waits patiently for his luggage...
John: All I gotta do is grab my luggage and go home...
Five hours later...
John: Damn, it's not here! Where'd they go?!
So John goes over to the airline counter to complain.
John: My luggage never came! You guys lost it!
Counter person: Sir, I assure you, we have NEVER lost ANY of our
passengers' luggage.
John: Well, SOMETHING happened to them!
Counter person: May I suggest someone stole them?
John: I waited FIVE WHOLE HOURS by the baggage claim!
Counter person: Well sir, it *cannot* be OUR FAULT.
John: grrrrblmlostupidvabradumbidiotsfrialvjfjb@$$holes...
Counter person: What was that, sir?
John: NOTHING. (storms out)
He is defeated...
John: Nothing else to do but move in. I might as well leave.
So he hails a taxi and goes to his new home.
John: At least I've finally gotten a house I've always wanted. Ocean view, the beach right below...aah. Bliss.
He is happy for a minute, then darker thoughts cloud his mind...
John: Stupid airlines, losing my luggage and then trying to blame it on ME. Sheesh. What a lousy way to start things off. I might as well go to sleep.
He dozes off...
Seven hours later...
A deep rumbling is heard...it seems to come from both above and below him...it shakes his house so violently he wakes up...
John: What IS that?? (looks out a window) Hmm...big flash in the sky. I wonder if the military's doing some kind of crazy testing.
As he watches, the flash gets bigger and bigger and brighter and
brighter...
John: WHOA! It's a huge comet! And it's headed STRAIGHT FOR ME!!
He runs to the opposite side of the house, hopefully away from the comet.
The comet crashes through the wall and ceiling of his house, blinding John with its intensity, lingers for a few seconds, then crashes on through the floor, through the ground...
He is stunned, shocked by the light...
Soon he comes to his senses...
John: DAMN COMET!! IT DESTROYED MY HOUSE!! First my &^%$#@ luggage, now THIS!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
He stares out the hole the comet has made...he looks at the crashing waves below...in a furiously anguished state of mind, he leaps...
*****************************
He jolts awake...
He is in his house, which is still intact, but empty.
John: (shakes his head) Whoa, it was all a dream! Man...scary. But my lost luggage isn't a dream! Crud. )=l
Suddenly, a loud rumbling is heard...
John: Aw S#IT!! Don't TELL ME....!!
A whole bunch of boxes and bags crash through his roof and land on his head.
John: (digs his way out) Whoa...it's all my LUGGAGE!! YEEEEE-HAAA!!!!
He's so happy he does a dance of joy.
John: I think I'll unpack my TV first.
He unpacks it, sets it up, and turns it on. After the day he's had, he's glad to sit mindless in front of the TV.
John: I hope the FFML had a better day than *I* did...
Soon he dozes off...
Just as he does:
"NEWS BULLETIN: This just in...an enormous comet has just crashed through northern Canada. The comet was extremely unexpected and scientists were surprised by its appearance. 'It looked weird,' one scientist commented after an initial analysis. 'It had a blue tint and its composition is one we have never encountered before...' "
----
John got his luggage back and ebonics caused the FFML members to return totheir normal selves, but it's not over yet! Tune in for the conclusion to "Save the FFML!"
Save the FFML! Part 20
Go to the FFML fanfic page, my main fanfic page, my Final Fantasy page, or my main page (dang that's a lotta pages! ^_^)
Send little ole me your comments! I'm big on typos, too, so if you spot one, e-mail me!
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