Several weeks ago I received a complaint about the conspicuous absence of cigar blurbs in THE CHURCHWARDEN. There is legitimacy to the gripe, but I am afraid little can be done to redress the situation. The problem is matter of fact: stability in the stogie market is disintegrating rapidly. The fad is leveling off, if not declining, with the result that today's best selling brand could be tomorrow's bargain bin special. It hardly seems right to recommend something possibly impossible to purchase. After all, what good is a review that has no value upon the next visit to your favorite cancer shop. Fortunately the rants and raves about tinned pipe tobacco have been well received and will continue for a few more months. In the spring, however, I will be checking out the pouched possibilities found in drugstores and discount cigarette joints. Therein lies a fascinating cache of options for the fly fisherman who does not want to risk dropping a ten dollar tin into a trout stream. For this month, though, the status quo will be maintained by a critical look at two really miserable canned concoctions.
The first is YALLER DAWG manufactured by Cornell & Diehl, Inc. The manufacturer's write-up says, "A Full English blend. Contains Syrian Latakia, Turkish and red and bright Virginia ribbon." There are certain adjectives in the English language eminently suited to an accurate description of this garbage. Thankfully, none of those words can be published in a Christian periodical. Yaller Dawg is so terrible in every respect, the only reaction it deserves--short of being thrown away--is to be given to an unsuspecting son-in-law. Since the man who married my daughter prints this publication at a reduced rate, I shall make no further observation regarding the preferred method of disposal.
The second is SCOTTISH BLEND by Mac Baren, a ho-hum change of pace from Latakia and Perique. Key ingredients are Virginia, Burley and Cavendish. Straight from the canister the mixture smells like damp hay, although while burning its odor defies definition. My wife says the aroma is pleasant enough, but she is unable to define it also. The flavor of the draw tastes sweet, but indistinct. Slow puffing is essential if you value your tongue.
Boring commentary, I know, but here is why: Both samplings lack the characteristics necessary to stimulate one's imagination. Pipe smoking should be a visionary experience, capable of elevating a thinking man's mind to new vistas. Sadly, neither blend has the juice to power anybody's thoughts much beyond their own living room ceiling. Thus, nothing really interesting can--or should--be said about either.
John 14:6
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
�copyright 2001, Perry S. Fuller
