“Miss America”
Sabrina Perizi

 

Vs.

 

Cyra Min

(A camera starts to pan around the arena of the most popular ladies federation in the known universe, the Battling Ring Angels. Another packed house starts to raise the rafters as they realize the show is about to start! Enthusiastic fans begin to hold up signs with sayings such as “Fear the Underworld”, “Michelle is my third favorite Anderson” and “I want to live in the fast Lane.” As the crowds cheering rises to a crescendo the camera settles on the announcers table where Sandra and Gary have just arrived.

Sandra: Welcome again to another stimulating night of wrestling action here at the BRA arena! Once again we have an exciting line up in store for you tonight!

Garry: Yeah! I can hardly wait to get through this other fluff to see the real action later!

Sandra: Watch your tongue! Every wrestler here tonight is deserving of respect, a word not found in your dictionary I guess!

Garry: Dictionary…..?

Sandra: Starting off tonight we have one of the rookies of BRA in her first match squaring off against a wrestler marking her return to BRA after a long layoff.

Garry: Is that the book thing with lots of words in it…?

Sandra: (rolling her eyes) Oh never mind! Just announce the matches!

Garry: Oh boy! Another patriot Americana wannabe! Miss America, Sabrina Perizi takes on my idea of a wrestler, Cyra Min in the first match.

Sandra: Don’t take anything away from Sabrina! She may be a rookie in professional wrestling but she has a strong amateur background and shows a lot of promise!

Garry: A lot of promise to fall flat on her face against a real wrestler, you mean!

Sandra: Get on with it!

Garry: Old and lame vs. young and babe, Americana takes on Miss Bra, Tiffany Lane.

Sandra: Americana is a good wrestler, she has only lost one match in five, Tiffany may have her work cut out for her!

Garry: Next a woman every man would like to meet.

Sandra:..You mean Amanda Sinclair?

Garry: Duh! I mean Yvette Malreaux.

Sandra: Quit drooling! Anyway, this looks like a good match. Amanda looked really good last week in her debut as a tag team defeating Motherhood. Let’s see if she can give as good a performance as a single.

Garry: Why bother! Even if she does manage to cheat and win, it’s a non-title fight!

Sandra: She may surprise you! The Cheerleaders take on Michelle Anderson and Rebecca Diewert next.

Garry: I may have to give the teenagers the hand here, Michelle and Rebecca have never worked together, and they don’t exactly have stellar singles records.

Sandra: For once doughboy, you actually make some sense!

Garry: I always make sense, for once you understand it!

Sandra: L’il Alexandra and Wendy Jones, both proven top wrestlers…a great matchup!

Garry: The gorgeous Laura Parker will win her match tonight.

Sandra: You just don’t want to give any credit to someone who doesn’t look like they’ve just come off the stage at your favorite strip joint, do you! Peggy Christian is the heart of wrestling!

Garry: And you’ve seen how many wrestling matches’ heart has won!

Sandra: She’s a winner every time she steps in the ring! Now, our last match tonight has a lot of heat behind it!

Garry: If you mean from the Underworld…you’re right! Although she could handle two wrestlers herself with ease, she doesn’t need the hag Sherry Anne to hold her down, not that they have a hope against Carmikel and Dream!

(Suddenly the lights dim slightly and the Angeltron beams out an image of the American flag waving proudly in the wind as the Star Spangled Banner plays in the background. Then, a hand with a lighter comes into the picture. Its flicks a zippo twice before a spark from it ignites the flag and it bursts into a bright, ugly flame as the sounds of the classic “Disco Inferno” drown out the anthem. Immediately Cyra Min bursts in through the entrance, waving an American flag- the fabric sizzling and popping as if coated with a little amount of gunpowder. As she runs, Cyra holds up her index finger chanting “USA USA!” As she enters the ring, a look of horror spreads on her face, “How did that catch on fire!!” As she throws the flag to the mat, she exclaims, “I’d better put that out!”, stomping and spitting on it until the fire dies.)

Sandra: What total disrespect for the flag! I…I’m shocked at what I just saw!

Garry: What an entrance! That was the entrance of a pro! I think the rookie is in for a shock!

(“Through the Never” by Metallica comes over the PA, and Miss America Sabrina Perizi, accompanied by wrestlings favorite mother Peggy Christian make their way down the aisle)

Garry: What is poppin’ fresh doing! Her match isn’t until later! I guess senility has finally set in.

Sandra: Shows what you know, fat boy! Sabrina and Peggy have been working together and Peggy is here to support Sabrina in her first match! I think that is just so wonderful!

Garry: The blind teaching the blonde! There go her chances of winning!

(Sabrina is dressed in a blue one-piece suit with red and white stripes across the top half, white boots with her initials on them, red knee savers and a light blue sash with the words “Miss America” on it. Flashpots explode as with great zeal she high fives her way down to the ring where Peggy Christian sits on the center rope and lifts the top one to let her in. Sabrina hands her the sash and Peggy leaves after whispering a few words into Sabrina’s ear.)

Sandra: So much for Cyra Min’s tactics, Miss America looks completely unfazed by her antics!

Garry: We’ll see! It’s not over until Princess Piggy sings!

SLAP!

DING DING DING

(Both women come confidently from their corners. Perizi circles fast, then bounces from one set of ropes to another as Min stands in the center watching. After the third bounce Sabrina suddenly comes off quicker and throws herself at Cyra)

Garry: A flying body block by the rookie! Cyra Min is down!

Sandra: 1……..2……….

Garry: NO! Kickout! She’s not going to get her like that!

(Both women spring to their feet but he speed of her opponent catches Min again as Perizi latches on quickly and hip tosses her to the mat.)

Sandra: Wow! The speed of this woman is incredible!

Garry: Speed will only get her so far……OH MY!!

(In the ring Sabrina drops to her knees groaning while the referee cautions Cyra)

Sandra: That was disgraceful!! Cyra was getting outwrestled and delivered a low blow to Sabrina! That’s not wrestling!

Garry: It is in my book! Great move!!

(Cyra pushes the ref aside and while her opponent is still on her knees, drops an elbow smash to the back of her neck. Sabrina falls forward and rolls around in pain, but is forced to her feet by Cyra who yanks her up by her hair.

Garry: Time to go for a ride!

Sandra: C’mon Sabrina!

( Cyra scoops up her opponent and with one swift motion bodyslams her to the mat. She follows quickly with a legdrop across her neck, causing Sabrina to clasp both hands to her neck. Cyra gets up to her feet and holds up her index finger to the crowd)

Sandra: Listen to the crowd! They don’t like her antics at all!

Garry: What are you complaining about! Those are great wrestling moves!

Sandra: Like the cheap shot she used to get the advantage!!

Garry: That!…is professional wrestling!

Sandra: Looks like Cyra may try that again! She’s dragged Sabrina to her feet again!

Garry: Another body slam……..no!!!

(As Cyra stoops to deliver another bodyslam Sabrina quickly blocks it and rolls her over.)

Sandra: Small package!! 1……….ohhhhh!!

Garry: Kickout!

(Sabrina quickly recovers and wraps Cyra in a front headlock. She forces them both away from the ropes to the center of the ring as Cyra tries to tear herself free)

Sandra: Good move by the rookie. She’s trying to wear her opponent down.

Garry: She’s just delaying the inevitable. Cyra Min knows how to get out of those!

(At that moment, Cyra raised her hand up and rakes Sabrina’s eyes with her nails! Sabrina screams as she releases the headlock, covering her eyes with her hands. Cyra ignores the protest of the referee and steps right up to her opponent and wraps her in a face to face bearhug before twisting quickly and suplexing her to the mat.)

Garry: OWWW! Great wrestling by Cyra Min! She’s sure giving Miss Goody Goody an introduction to real wrestling!

Sandra: Amateur wrestling IS real wrestling doughboy! And Sabrina was very accomplished at it!

Garry: Fat lot of good its doing her now! Look at her!

(In the ring Cyra had got back to her feet and was stomping Sabrina’s stomach several times, causing her to gasp hard for air.)

Sandra: Typical Cyra! Resorting to brawling instead of wrestling!

Garry: If you cant stand the heat…wha…..?????

(Sabrina reacts out of instinct and grabs Cyra’s foot in mid stomp, wincing as she pulls it hard. Cyra is caught by surprise and loses her balance, falling backward awkwardly to the mat. She lays there groaning, apparently hurt. Sabrina gets to her feet and seeing her opponent out on the mat, climbs the turnbuckles with surprising speed and turns around.)

Sandra: What is she doing! I don’t think Cyra is that hurt!

Garry: Quiet and watch!

(Sabrina raises one finger to the crowd then springs off.)

Sandra: Somersault dive!!

Garry: Yesssssss!!!!!!!

(Sabrina performs a perfect somersault in the air and spreads herself…splashing onto…nothing! Cyra had played possum and easily rolled away from the rookie as she smacked hard into the mat face first where her opponent had been scant seconds before!

Garry: I’ll bet old poppin’ fresh taught her that move! It didn’t work on Laura Parker when she tried it!

Sandra: It wasn’t a somersault, it was a splash, but you’re right. A big rookie mistake by Sabrina there!

( Cyra easily gets to her feet as Sabrina struggles to her knees. Cyra spits on her and says, “Just like the American Military, when you’re attacking a primitive you’re all high and mighty. But now that you see you are tangling with a super power, you’re on your knees!)

Garry: Such wisdom from such a young girl!

Sandra: Oh shut up! It looks like Sabrina is in real trouble now!

(Sabrina has been dragged to her feet by her hair and groans as her face is driven hard into the turnbuckle not once, not twice….but three times! She staggers out of the corner, dazed by the blows but is quickly brought to her knees by a double axe handle to the back. A quick hard boot by Cyra and Sabrina tumbles under the ropes and out to the floor. )

Garry: This is Cyra’s kind of match now!

Sandra: What’s she doing!…Oh no, she’s got a chair!

(Cyra has jumped to the floor and grabbed a folding chair as Sabrina, still dazed, tries to struggle to her feet. As she approaches she raises the chair above her head…)

Sandra: I can’t watch!

Garry: Now this is getting interesting! We’re finally going to see some blood……..eh!!!

(Just as Cyra is about to hit Sabrina with the chair, she feels herself overbalance backward as the chair is being wrenched away!)

Garry: OH NO! What is she doing here!!

Sandra: It’s Peggy!! She’s stopping Cyra from using a foreign object! She’s protecting the rookie!

Garry: She’s got no right interfering with the match! It’s a fight between the other two and….

Sandra: the referee is turning a blind eye! But they’ve got to be careful, he’s still counting and they could both end up losing! He’s already at ten!

( As the two women struggle with the chair, Sabrina takes advantage of the moment and rolls back slowly into the ring)

Garry: Cyra’s got to stop fighting with that old woman and get back in the ring!

( As she still struggles Cyra turns and quickly and brings a knee up sharply into her tormentors soft belly, dropping her to her knees. The chair clatters to the ground as Cyra glares down in surprise at who has dared to stop her. The count reaches fifteen…)

Garry: What’s she doing! Why doesn’t she get back into the ring! She’s dropped the old hag and Little Miss perfect is at her mercy!

Sandra: She seems a little disoriented! Almost concerned!

Garry: This is crazy!! What’s she doing now….??

Sandra: I don’t believe it! Cyra’s actually forgotten the match and is helping Peggy to her feet!

( The count reaches nineteen as Sabrina has finally found her feet, but leans a little unsteadily on the ropes. The ref raises his hand for the twentieth time….)

Garry: GET BACK IN THE RING!!….WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!…….NOOOOOO!!

Sandra: Yessssssssss!!!!!!!

(Cyra finally seems to get her senses back and realizes what is happening, turning back to the ring and reaching for the ropes…)

DING DING DING

Garry: Noooooooo!!!…..she’s too late!!

(Cyra climbs in the ring with a black look on her face as the referee raises Sabrina’s hand in victory!)

Sandra: Maybe not the best way to do it, but a victory for Miss America in her debut!

Garry: Wait!! What’s Cyra doing now??

(As Sabrina turns to the ropes Cyra reaches down into her boot and extracts something. She then turns Sabrina around and in a flash the rookie is down on her knees clawing at her eyes and screaming as the effects of pepper spray work on her! Cyra stomps at Sabrina, driving her to the mat as the referee scrambles over and tries to drag her away!)

Sandra: This is terrible! Cyra has lost the match, but wont stop fighting!

Garry: She’s going to get her pound of flesh one way or the other! Gosh!…she’s relentless!!

( As security arrives to drag Cyra away, the crowd breaks into a chorus of boos)

The winner by countout: “Miss America” Sabrina Perizi