Alexandria Parker vs. Samantha Staffer
The arena is going crazy for the BRA action. Row after row of fans on their feet all the way to the top of the arena. The camera pans across the wild and rowdy sea of humanity, taking a moment to stop on a few of the more interesting signs present in the crowd. The more entertaining ones say� �Janus fears Phil.�, �Sisterhood is just that good!�, �Smoking Kills!� and �Shut up and wrestle!.�
Kenny: Cari, up next we have a battle of wills. Alexandria Parker, a longtime stalwart of BRA will be facing Samantha Staffer. You have to think that Samantha will be looking to make a mark here, and maybe elevate herself in the eyes of the bookers.
Cari: Who are the bookers this week?
Kenny: I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
The Angeltron comes to life, flashing in large silver letters, RICH BITCH.' Pictures of Alexandria Parker destroying opponents flash onto the screen, showing some of her greatest moves, concluding with a montage` of her scowling at 'fans', and the smashing the infamous mirror over the head of Janus. An explosion occurs from the back and fireworks falling from the ceiling are the next visual treat as LiL Kim's Queen B*tch blast over the house speakers. Standing poised with the tag title held high in the air is Alexandria Parker. Alex wears a attire consisting of a black, skintight cat suit with matching boots and kicking pads. Her strawberry blonde hair cascades down her back.
Cari: Here comes one of my favorite wrestlers in this, or any other federation.
Kenny: She's been awfully quiet this week. That's not like Alexandria to have nothing to say.
Cari: She's going to do her talking in the ring.
Kenny: Interesting entrance montage. With Janus promising to hurt someone every week Alexandria might be daring her to come and try.
Cari: She's not afraid of anyone. Never has been, never will be.
Kenny: She took on the entire Hit Squad on her own last week. Coming to the aid of Mixie Locke.
Cari: I think she just wanted to get her hands on Porsha Pembroke. I mean, her mirror on Porsha Pembroke.
The lights go dim and Samantha struts out to Queens 'Another one Bites the Dust'. She is dressed in a skin tight short suit in shiny black with tall black leather boots, her hair is braided in a single braid down the back to keep it out of the way. She wears a baseball cap with Thirtysomething on the front She looks cool and confident and greets the crowd with a wave and a smile. Behind her on the jumbotron are glimpses of her past fights, both with Peggy and solo fights.. The crowd roars it's approval.
Kenny: Samantha Staffer is always a fan favorite.
Cari: I'm told she tested well with the over 50 crowd. The same people who watch �Diagnosis Murder� and �Touched by an Angel.�
Kenny: That's�just�Cari, have you seen some of the fans this company brings out? Check out the two in the front row with the long black robes and hoods on.
Cari: Weirdos. Must be Janus fans.
Kenny: Anyway, we have the bell and we have action in the ring as Samantha Staffer and Alexandria Parker go to a collar and elbow tie up. Both women looking for a way to start�and it's Samantha who gets out of the gate first. Twisting Alex into a standing wristlock. Trying to get her under control.
Cari: And she moves that into a pretty solid hammerlock. I'm not a fan of Samantha, but she does have some pretty good amateur skills. Not great, but�
Kenny: Look at that picture perfect take-down by Samantha on Alex. Alex is a stronger woman and she's keeping Alex down and restricting her movement.
Cari: I'm told Samantha has been boxing a bit lately.
Kenny: Boxing?
Cari: Yeah, she works at a warehouse putting things in boxes.
Kenny: You're horrible. Samantha pulling Alexandria back to her feet�and watch this perfect belly to back suplex that plants Alexandria on the mat. Roll up�
Cari: Only two! Samantha can't take it that easily.
Kenny: Staffer getting back to her feet. She's lifting Alexandria�here we go�No!
Cari: Yes! Alexandria just drove her knee into Samantha's groin. Good use of the low blow.
Kenny: Is there such a thing?
Cari: Yeah, and you just saw it.
Kenny: Samantha goes down and Alexandria immediately starts to kick her.
Cari: Good follow up on the attack. Kenny, those two in the robes are starting to creep me out.
Kenny: Just ignore them. Alex with the boot scrape to Samantha's face. That has to hurt.
Alexandria: What a pretty face!
Kenny: And a few more shots to the face. Alex standing Samantha up. Hooking her for a perfect tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Samantha goes down to the mat hard and she could be in some trouble right now.
Cari: Alexandria starting to take control of the match right now.
Kenny: Alex has her up, and here we go, spinebuster! Alex nailed that move. She moves in for a pin as the ref drops in for the count. We have 1 � 2 � thr�no!
Cari: Slow count!
Kenny: Samantha got a foot on the rope. Alexandria is beside herself. She though that was it and she's in the ref's face. Bad idea.
Cari: You need to pay attention to your opponent.
Kenny: Samantha slowly getting back to her feet. Alex sees her and both run at each other. Look out! Double clothesline! Both women are down on the mat. The impact put both of them on their backs. Neither one looks in the best of shape.
Cari: I'm told Samantha likes to spend time on her back.
Kenny: Ohhh! You need to cut it out! Ref is starting to count both of them out.
Cari: Kenny, the two robed women are standing and jumping the guardrail.
Kenny: The ref sees this and is distracted. They're going to drop the hoods. It's�It's�
Cari: Jessica Estrella and Paula Pembroke. Paula's sister has her problems with Alexandria Parker. Where is big Porsha? It would be hard to hide her.
Kenny: Other side of the ring! It's Porsha! She has a mirror.
Cari: I don't like this one bit! Get up Alexandria!
Kenny: She's starting to stir. The ref still taken in by that weird look in Jessica's eyes. She's almost hypnotizing the ref. Alex is up�Oh no! Mirror to the head!
Cari: She delivered that Mirror right to the noggin of Alexandria and The Rich Bitch is down! Porsha drags Samantha over and puts her on top of Alexandria. This is a scam!
Kenny: The ref turns around and sees the pin! 1!
Cari: No!
Kenny: 2!
Cari: Kick out!
Kenny: No! That's three! Samantha Staffer gets the match. And here comes Porsha and Jessica to attack Alexandria. Jessica pulls her up while Porsha puts one finger in the air and slowly points down.
Cari: It can't be?
Kenny: Jessica shoves Alexandria to Porsha. She sets her up. Look out below�The Iron Lung powerbomb! Alexandria is out.
Cari: The Hit Squad said tonight was their night and this looks like it's part of the plan. Look at Paula Pembroke writing �Loser� on Alexandria's forehead in black marker. Now both Jessica and Porsha kicking Alex.
Kenny: This is a mugging. But the numbers are about to change, here comes�Mixie Locke?
Cari: And she has a Kendo stick. She's hit the ring and she's chasing away the Hit Squad! I guess she's returning the favor to Alexandria. The Hit Squad members are on the run back into the crowd as members of The Sisterhood finally make their way to the ring.
Kenny: This is strange. What is Mixie's relationship with the Sisterhood?
Cari: I think she was just paying Alex back for last week.
Kenny: We'll be back with more Battling Ring Angels, but first a word from our sponsors.
Winner � Samantha Staffer