A wooden desk, sat at the foot of the ring, two chairs placed snugly behind it. In the first chair was Candi Kane, official BRA correspondant. The small woman, with the short red hair sat wearing a black blouse and white jeans with small tennis shoes. A half consumed bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey sat in front of her, as well as a pack of cigarettes. Next to her sat the tall, buxom nurse from the Dentonvale Clinic. The crimson haired nurse sat looking at papers, with her long hair coming to the square of her back. Liker her counterpart, Ms. Kane, Nurse Ansalong seemed only half interested. Nurse Ansalong had on her small nurse’s hat and her tight-fitting white uniform was open at the chest, almost exposing her well-rounded resume. In front of both of them were microphones for them to call the match.

Candi Kane, looking angry as usual, looked into the camera. “Here we are, on this God-forsaken day, in this God-forsaken event. I’m Candi Kane, along side Nurse Ansalong.”

Nurse Ansalong giggled. “Hi.”

Candi rolled her eyes. “The good nurse was kind enough to let me stay in her suite this week since I seemed to have been locked out of mine. In any event, folks, the match up we have planned for you today is Ms. Tiffany Lane versus Wendy ‘Wildcat’ Jones in a, um, catfight. Let’s be frank, everyone. There is one reason why most of you are watching. Its for the T&A. There’s no dening it. I should have been at the main arena, but, I drew the short straw. Going into the event do you have any predictions, Nurse A?”

The busty nurse, who had been looking off camera, jolted around when she heard her name. “Predictions? Well, the weather man said it was going to snow but . . . “

Candi groaned. “Oh, never mind. Here comes Tiffany Lane and the spectators are going wild. The male ones, anyway.”

Tiffany Lane the strikingly beautiful blond bombshell is the first to arrive at the chalet. She steps out of the white GMC Yukon Danali and briskly walks into the chalet to escape the biting chill of the below twenty temprature.

Once inside the chalet, Tiffany walks into the living room and stands by the fire place and tries to warm up. She turns her back to camera crew and opens the coat to warm herself. The tiara that adorns her head sparkles in the light of the fire. She turns back to face the crew and slides the coat down over her shoulders teasing the crew with visions of what attire may be concealed beneath the mink.

Candi fumes in jealousy over the tall, well-endowed blonde. “Well, now that Ms. Lane is here, maybe we can ask her a few questions about the porno pictures that have been floating around about her. Why don’t you see what she has to say, Nurse?”

Nurse Ansalong shakes her head. “No way! I don’t wanna get punched or anything. This IS gonna be a catfight, you know. Besides, I heard that she already got some practice in with Yvette Malreaux the other night.”

Candi takes a swig of thw whiskey and coughs. “Yeah, I heard about that, too. It looks as if the Sisterhood of Seduction is in for some wild times ahead.”

Outside the chalet the snow begins to whirl as the down wash from the rotorblades from the Bell Jet Ranger pound the snow into submission. The black and silver chopper lands a safe distance from the outside crew, and they quickly begin to cover up and curse the pilot and its occupants for adding more windchill to the white blanketed landscape.

As the blades slowly spin to a stop and the jet engines wind down the door on the passanger side opens and out steps the other combatant of the event. Dressed in a ski suit the statuesque Wendy Jones walks to the chalet oblivious to the scene that surrounds. She unzips her jacket and discards it in the snow. The outside crew is amazed to see the Wildcat expose her scantily clad body in the frigid conditions. Despite the liberal amount of cloth that covers her breast it is evident to all that the effects of the cold air on Wendy.

Candi moans. “Arrogant bitch! The least she could do is cover herself. Those aren’t even real, I bet.”

Nurse Ansalong, busy with mouthing some words to a man off camera, does not even hear her counterpart.

Wendy Jones opens the door. She quickly slides off the mukluks and the skin tight ski pants revealing her attire, a black combo sport bra and bottom under a sheer, semi-seethrough version of her usual bodysuit. The suit should rip quite easily as it is only made of the strongest chiffon and lace. Barefoot Ms. jones steps into the living room and stares down her rival.

"It's time to spay this Alleycat" says a somber Tiffany as she stares holes through her opponent.

Undaunted by the verbal smack lowered on her by her equally statuesque opponent, Wendy stands with her hands on her hips. Tiffany begins to slowly and seductively remove her mink.

Without any warning Wendy attacks Tiffany while Miss Bra is in the middle of her striptease, trapping her arms inside the jacket. With two handfuls of hair, Wendy begins to pull Tiffany around the living room. Tiffany lets out a scream mingled with a steady stream of profanity as she fights to free herself from her jacket.

Candi looks shocked. “Wow! Things have gotten started! A handful of blonde locks appear to be held by the other dumb blonde. It looks like a case of the blonde leading the blonde!”

Nurse Ansalong laughs after a slight pause. “Oh, I get it! Ha!

Tiffany looses her footing in the thigh high stiletto boots and falls to her knees as Wendy without showing any signs of letting up continues to drag her opponent around the living room.

Nurse Ansalong, who seems to have never seen anything like this before, widens her eyes at the event. “This is something else! I mean, what is the point to all of this? Is there a winner or something?”

Candi, who is rethinking her deal with the nurse, bites her lip. “Well, gee, honey, maybe aliens will come down from the planets above and interfere. Have ya ever thought about that?”

Puzzled, Nurse Ansalong seems to think it over. “I never thought about that. However, there is a patient back at the clinic who thinks he is from Pluto.”

Wendy trips over the stone tile located in front of the fireplace and falls backwards into its flaming entrance. The fireplace is covered by a black metal screen that sears the flesh of Wendy. Wendy lets go her rival and lets out with a blood-curdling scream. She rolls away from the fireplace and the pattern of the metal screen is seared into her flesh. She leans forward and grits her teeth in pain as tears begin to well in her eyes.

Candi laughs. “Well, blonde plays with fire and blonde is bound to get burned.”

Nurse Ansalong looks over at Candi. “Nice alliteration.”

Candi glances back. “I am surprised you know the word.” Candi takes another drink.

Taking this moment to regroup, Tiffany removes her coat to reveal her catfighting attire, a sexy, black, satin and lace outfit and black, leather thigh-high boots. She removes the tiara from her mussed hair and places it gently on top of the TV.

Getting back down to the business at hand Tiffany grabs a handful of Wendy's blonde hair and jerks her to her feet and send her back down to the floor with a vicious back hand. Wendy tries to clear her head as Tiffany offers the Wildcat no time to clear the cobwebs and once again pulls her to her feet and sends her flying across the room by virtue of a hair mare. Wendy grabs her back and arches in pain as she bounces off the hardwood floor.

Candi leans back in her chair. “This is at least getting interesting, everyone! I have never head a skull impact with the floor and make quite that sound before. It appears that the impact has taken a toll on the Brit.”

Nurse Ansalong cranes her neck to get a better view of the action. “I am not sure why you said earlier that this was gonna be T&A. I mean, they appear to be really going after one another. It is like they aren’t even trying to give the guys a good show.”

Candi takes another drink. “Oh, I suspect things will get pretty wild. Besides, I imagine this will be the match everyone fast forwards to when it comes out on video!”

Tiffany runs at Wendy and digs the heel of her right boot into the seared flesh of the Wildcat. Wendy shrieks in pain and claws at the air trying to get to her feet. Tiffany removes her foot and delivers a devastating kick deep into the spine of Wendy forcing the breath out of the Wildcat.

Nurse Ansalong winces in pain. “That was damn rude!”

Candi tilts her head. “Its gonna get a lot ruder.”

With Wendy laying in a fetal position next to the entrance of the dining room. Tiffany grabs hold of the chiffon and lace bodysuit of Wendy and begins to tear it from her body

Candi sighs. “This is where the naughty bits come in, Nurse Ansalong.”

Wendy bounces almost lifelessly at the clothes ripping assault from the blond vixen. Tiffany finally satisfied that she has ripped just the right amount of cloth from her adversary takes a piece and wraps it around the neck of her British opponent strangling her and dragging her around the floor of the dining room.

Nurse Ansalong looks shocked. “Is that choking thing legal?”

Candi shrugs her shoulders. “Do you see an official breaking it up?

“Nope. I don’t even see an official.”

Candi shook her head sadly. “Precisely!”

"Wendy, don't you realize that you're no match for the Queen of Catfights?" Taunts the feisty blond.

Lifting Jones to her feet Tiffany hoists the Wildcat over her head and delivers a vicious body slam dropping Wendy onto the hard oak dining table like a cadaver. Jones lies there stunned and wondering where she is, what is happening and who is the identity of her attacker.

The coldness of the table brings a welcome relief to the charred skin on the shoulder of the fallen Brit. She lightly begins to stir as she is brought slowly back into reality by the sound of cutting. Scissors cutting into something... the sound of something being shredded.... the sound of people laughing and gasping. Suddenly reality comes a step closer as the feeling of her hair being cut and sawed becomes unmistakable. Real.

Candi’s eyes widen with satisfaction. “Yes! Yes! Finally there is some justice in the world! That nasty bitch will get what is coming to her!”

Nurse Ansalong gulped. “I guess you have a favorite, Candi?”

Candi scowled. “Yeah, I have a favorite! Me! I want to see these two dizzy blondes obliterate one another!”

Wendy’s eyes begin to focus and she sees Tiffany lane standing over her dropping her blond locks onto her face and chest. Letting out a banshee like shriek Wendy becomes enraged and pushes Tiffany aside and rolls off of the table. She staggers forward and falls onto the floor by the only door of the chalet that leads to the outside. She sees Tiffany coming closer, taunting her with the opening and closing of the scissors. Wendy runs her hands through her hair and clumps of her blond mane fall to the floor. She frantically moves to her feet and in the process knocks open the door to a storage room. She is knocked back down to the floor by skiing equipment as it tumbles out of the small room. With cat like speed Wendy is on her feet and armed with a ski pole.

Swinging like a chain gang member clearing a path through south Louisiana brush and swamp with a sickle, she backs up Miss Bra. Tiffany drops the scissors and tries to cover herself up as she backs into the kitchen counter and begins to scream as the ski-pole-wielding Wildcat begins to hit home.

Giggling, maniacally, Candi gets to her feet. “This is getting great! Skiing anyone? Heh!”

Nurse Ansalong seems concerned. “There should be a medical person nearby!”

Candi gives the nurse a strained look. “Aren’t you one?”

Nurse Ansalong laughs. “Oh, duh! That’s right. I am!”

Tiffany ducks and dodges as the pole continuously finds its mark on her back and her head, and runs into the adjacent bedroom and tries to slam the door shut. Wendy is however to quick and throws her shoulder into the door driving Tiffany sprawling across the room.

Wendy charges in and delivers two vicious cracks to the head and shoulders of the arrogant blond bombshell. Tiffany scurries across the floor like a retreating crab and finally makes it to her feet. Wendy in pursuit of her target swings the pole wildly and misses Tiffany. Wendy swings back and connects to the right side of Tiffany. As the pole lands into the ribcage of Tiffany, Miss BRA grabs hold of the pole and a wrestling match for the weapon ensues. The combatants pull and jerk each other across the room and back into the kitchen where Tiffany eventually is able to wrest the pole from her adversary.

Candi frowns. ‘It appears, ladies and gentlemen, that Tiffany has got the pole!”

Nurse Ansalong nods. “I guess this means Wendy is gonna get the shaft!”

Tiffany looks at Wendy with hate in her eyes as the chest of both women rise and fall in the desperate effort to gather much needed oxygen. Wendy backs up and runs aground of the kitchen counter. She is able to steal a quick glance behind her and quickly places her hands behind her back.

Just as Tiffany swings the pole Wendy's arms come from behind her back and with catlike speed and accuracy she deposits an open salt shaker into the face of the rich little blonde girl. The shaker spills its contents into the face and eyes of Tiffany and the blonde bombshell drops the pole.

Candi squeals with delight. “Ha! Ms. BRA has been aSALTed! Ha! Ha!”

Wendy charges and slams Tiffany's head repeatedly into the oak wood of the table. She feels the fight begin to ebb in her nemesis and she lifts her head up from the table by her blood stained blond locks and looks at her. Tiffany's eyes are shut tight from the stinging and burning sensation of the salt.

"GIVE UP BITCH" yells the British Wildcat.

"N-N-N-No, I'll never give in to you" sneers her blinded opponent.

"Very well" says Wendy as she drags Tiffany over to the counter.

"Have it your way, sweetheart" says Wendy "I'm like Burger King I aim to please."

Candi quickly cuts in. “We have no endorsement with Burger King. It is a registered trademark of the Burger King Corporation!”

Nurse Ansalong rubs her stomach. “I could really go for a Whopper right now.”

Candi throws her a nasty look. “Shhh!”

Wendy jerks back on the bloody blond mane of Tiffany and demands that the blond open her eyes. Tiffany struggles but she does manage to open her eyes, not because Wendy demanded her to do it but to try and restore her vision.

Tiffany opens her eyes just in time for the drops of Tabasco sauce to hit target. She screams bloody murder as her eyes slam shut once more. Screaming in pain she pushes Wendy away and staggers to the floor. Wendy, ever quick on the attack, stays with her and rolls her onto her back.

Candi screams in pain, but laughs, enjoying every minute of the fight. “Wow! I bet Yvette Malreaux is really loving this!”

Wendy sits on the blonde's chest and shoves the Tabasco bottle into the mouth of the screaming, caterwauling blond, force-feeding her the contents of the Louisiana product.

"GIVE UP" screams Wendy "OR YOU"LL NEED ONE HELLUVA DOSE OF TAGAMET!"

With her arms and legs flailing about on the floor Tiffany signals her surrender to Wendy.

Wendy ever the good sport stands up grabs the mink coat of the blond and walks out of the chalet, leaving Tiffany regurgitating the contents of her stomach onto the kitchen floor.

Candi snaps her fingers in that ‘gee-darn’ sort of way. “Damn! It was just getting good. Well, folks, this one is over! The Queen of the Catfights has been dethroned by newcomer, Wendy Jones. If anyone doubted the talents of ‘Wildcat’ before, now is the time to rethink.”

The nurse who seems shocked at what she has seen, gulps. “I hope I never have to be in something like that!”

Candi, watching Tiffany Lane trying to regain her bearings, turns to the nurse. “OK, now is the time for the post match interview. You go over and talk to Tiffany Lane. I don’t interview losers!”

Nurse Ansalong smiles as she gets up. “Um, OK.”

Candi, followed by a camera crew takes a microphone and follows Wendy out the door who is approaching her helicopter. She turns with deep anger in her eyes as Candi shouts out her name. “Wendy! Wendy Jones! Love your new haircut, by the way! Now that you have successfully trounced Tiffany Lane in the catfight, do you have any future plans to do this kind of thing? They do call you ‘Wildcat’ and all.”

Wendy approaches Candi, towering over her. She offers a fake smile. “Oh, you like my haircut, do you?”

Candi, suddenly realizing she may have said one snide comment too many, takes a step back. But it is too late. Wendy clocks her with a slap to the face, sending her falling into the snow. Frowning and rubbing her face, she looks into the camera. “Um, strong words by Wendy Jones. Over to you, Nurse A.”

The camera cuts over to the Nurse, who is standing over Tiffany Lane. The blonde has bloodshot eyes and is drinking a glass of water. Nurse Ansalong, with a cheery giggle, bends down to eye level. “Ms. Lame, I was wondering if you have any comments about the match. You did so well until Wendy opened up with the Tobasco offensive. Any thoughts or comments?”

Tiffany, still shaking her head replies to the busty nurse. “Yeah. One. You’re an idiot!”

Nurse Ansalong, seemingly unfazed by the comments, as if she did not even hear, turns back to the camera and gives a cheeky smile. “There you have it. Back to you, Candi.”

The camera clicks back over to Candi, who is screaming obscenities towards an ascending helicopter. When the cameraman tells her she is back on, she turns to the camera and growls. “Yeah, well, the catfight is over. Sending you back to the main arena to Sandra and Garry, this is Candi Kane, for Nurse Ansalong signing off.”