Match by: Lord Pumpkin (The spotlights flash back and forth. The crowd erupts with cheers and
excitement as the show has returned from the most recent series of commercials -
advertising tourist rates to Baghdad; action figures of the Sisterhood of
Seduction; T-shirts for Sabrina Perezi; Kentucky Fried Chicken spots with the
adorable Colonel Sanders character; and 1-900 girly phone calls. The camera
floats down to Garry and Sandra. They seem to be smiling broadly, putting on
their best faces for the camera. Sandra is about to speak but Garry rudely
interrupts her.) Garry: Welcome back, folks! We have for you a rookie against a hardened
veteran. We will be seeing the first showing of Gwen Jeru, a hot tamale if I do
say so myself! She’ll be locking up with Alexandra Parker, one half of the
recently dethroned tag team champions, Simply Devine! Sandra: That is true and - Garry: Shut up. Here they come. (The lights dim and Gwen Jeru appears with her friend Gloreu. Gwen happily
waves to the crowd and blows them kisses as she slowly comes down the ramp. They
cheer back with a receptive appreciation, happy to greet the newcomer. As she
approaches the ring, she extends her hands and flips to the ring, using a
gymnastic spring, and follows through with another jump over the ropes. The
cameras pan onto the full view of Gwen, showing her in her crimson bra, long
baggy white pants with a black sash in the back and red sandals.) Sandra: Here’s Gwen she looks - Garry: Shut up! Less of you! More of me! (The Angeltron comes to life, flashing in large red letters ‘Bitch.’
Pictures of Alexandra Parker flash to the screen, showing some of her greatest
moves, concluding with a montage of her flipping of the audience, scowling at
‘fans’ and screaming at officials. In short, being a bitch. An explosion
occurs from the back and the lights go off, with fireworks as the next visual
treat. Heat pours over the first few rows by the ramp. The lights come back on
and she is seen with hr head thrown back in dramatic laughter. She is wearing
black, form fitting pants with he image a flame embossed on both sides. A black,
sheer shirt covers her upper torso with the same flame image on her full chest.
Standing next to her is her valet and assistant, Ms. Vanity, holding a full
length mirror. As Alexandra approaches the ring, she points to Gwen and begins
yelling a series of obscenities and rather rude comments directed towards the
Spaniard’s weight. Alexandra’s long red curls cascade down her back bouncing
with every firm step she takes.) Sandra: Here she comes. The ‘Rich Bitch’ herself, Garry: Did I give you permission to speak? (Before Sandra can react, as she is stunned by the offensive actions from
Garry, the official begins explaining things to the two women. Alexandra,
however, is seething mad at the Spaniard for some unknown insult and begins
shouting and screaming at the top of her lungs. The redhead, with her fiery
temper is incensed at some aspect of Gwen’s life. Gwen finally becomes upset
with something and lashes out with a slap across her face, sending the crowd
into frenzied cheers. The bell rings and Gloreu cheers for Gwen on one side
while Miss Vanity cheers for Alexandra on the other side.) Miss Vanity: Gwen, you looser! Pack it now before Alexandra kicks your sorry
ass back to . . . um . . . wherever it is you’re from! (Both women in the ring are hammering away with lefts and rights, working out
their fury and frustration. Within moments Gwen has gotten the upper hand of the
situation, and placed Alexandra in a side headlock, flexing her biceps, choking
the life out of the sparkplug redhead. Suddenly, Gwen slams Alexandra to the
mat, face first, and the redhead bounces off with a pained look as her reaction.
Gwen rolls over and tries for an early pin, but the fury inside Alexandra allows
her to kick out after a count of one, slamming her fist into the side of Gwen’s
head. As Gwen reacts, Alexandra rolls out of the way and bounces to her feet.
The redhead gets up and moves away from Gwen, who is still rubbing off the shock
from the hit to the head. Alexandra reaches out, seizes Gwen by the arm and
throws her into the ropes. On the way back, she kicks Gwen in the stomach and
slams her to the mat with a DDT.) Alexandra: There you go, brat! Welcome to BRA! (The veteran throws herself down on Gwen and begins to deliver rights and
lefts to her downed opponent. Gwen reels with each shot until Gloreu protests to
the official about closed fists. Shrugging his shoulders, the official stops
Alexandra’s attacks. She gets up, stomps to Gwen’s midsection and screams at
the official, in defiance of his actions, however, he seems most disinterested
in her. Another stomp from Alexandra is cut short as Gwen grabs her ankle,
twists and throws the sparky redhead back on the mat. Both women crawl away to
get some advice from their seconds. Within moments they are back on their feet
and prepared for battle. Like a truck, Gwen plows into Alexandra, smashing the
busty beauty into the corner, crushing her before she can react. The redhead
screams in pain as Gwen begins to deliver rabbit punches to her stomach,
midsection and chest, each blow impacting with more force than the last. With
every hit, some Spanish phrase is uttered, much to the joy of the Spanish
speaking audience at home.) Sandra: The rookie is showing her power and strength here, Garry! Garry: You are a troll! (Alexandra stumbles forward as Gwen moves back, allowing the redhead to fall
forward. Gwen latches on to her spandex bottom and hoists her into the air for a
suplex. However, Gwen shows her strength by holding Alexandra upside down and in
the air, and after what may be thirty seconds, dropping the redhead to the mat
with extreme authority. Alexandra bounces close to a foot into the air as the
crowd cheers. Gwen rolls over for a pin, but Miss Vanity is prepared. She dashes
over and places one of Alexandra’s legs on the ropes without the official
noticing. He stops his count at two. Gwen notices the foot and grows furious.
She slams her fists into Alexandra’s stomach and brings her to her feet by her
beautiful red hair. With a whip from Gwen, Alexandra goes sailing into the far
ropes. On her way back, Gwen attempts another power move, but Alexandra slides
under her feet, between her legs. On her way through, she grabs Gwen by the
shorts and tugs, bringing the big girl backwards, slamming her to the mat, hard.
Alexandra, still slightly stunned, makes her way to her feet and stomps away at
Gwen’s throat, causing the Spaniard to thrash around in pain. She drops
herself on Gwen, scratching away at her face in some frenzy. Gwen screams in
pain as lines of crimson appear on her face and the crowd boos at Alexandra’s
cruelty. The official comes to get her off, but Miss Vanity springs to the ropes
pointing into the crowd claiming that Jenny Anderson is coming. He turns to
look, which, of course, she is not. Alexandra takes the opportunity to produce
from her pants a small bag of salt that she uses to rub in the eyes and
scratches of her fallen opponent. Gwen screams in terror, totally at the mercy
of Alexandra.) Alexandra: Give up! Give up now, brat! (Alexandra pulls Gwen up by her hair who is still moaning and screaming in
pain from the salt and the scratches. Gwen gets thrown into the corner and
Alexandra mounts the second rope and begins delivering a series of hard punches
to the girl's head, yelling obscenities and terrible insults with each hit.
After punching the Spaniard ten times she jumps back and allows her to fall.
Alexandra then climbs the top rope to drop. She lands with her leg on Gwen’s
neck, in a perfect guillotine, impacting with her. As Alexandra gets up to
showboat, flaunting herself to the crowd, Gwen still sputters and chokes, her
eyes puffy with the salt wounds. Alexandra merely cackles and shouts, parading
herself around the ring, and now preparing for her final assault on the rookie.) Sandra: What has gotten into Alexandra? She is even more vicious than normal! Garry: Yeah, well, she lost the belt, ding-dong! I would be pissed too! Sandra: Your belt is always lost under that gut! (Alexandra pounces yet again but Gwen’s vision has returned slightly,
allowing her to swing out wildly. She connects with Alexandra’s jaw, stunning
the redhead for a moment. Gwen gets to her feet and grabs for Alexandra, who
ducks several times and manages to land several fists to the Spaniard. However,
Alexandra finds herself in trouble as Gwen finally manages to catch her. The
redhead is overcome by Gwen’s strength as the larger women hammers Alexandra’s
head into the turnbuckle over and over again. She reels in pain and slumps
backward with blood on her forehead as Gwen seemed to unleash her fiery passion
and Mediterranean rage upon Alexandra. She falls back and into the waiting arms
of Gwen who lifts her into the air with a another suplex. The Spaniard turns it
into a Northern Lights Suplex, bringing the redhead down to the mat hard. Gwen
covers Alexandra but despite being out of breath and worn down, she manages to
stick a finger in the eye of Gwen who howls in pain, getting Gwen off of her.
The official begins lecturing Alexandra on the unsportsmanlike conduct but she
manages to blurt out some four letter words and flip him off.) Sandra: Hey! There are kids watching! Garry: All the more reason to keep you off the air! (Alexandra waits for Gwen to rise, still woozy, and she begins to use her
long legs to kick out at Gwen, hoping to take her down. A strike to the head and
a strike to the back has the villainous redhead in dominating control, using her
legs as lethal weapons. Gwen suddenly catches one of her legs and drops her to
the mat, rolling on top of her and hammering away at her. Alexandra manages to
get a few punches is as the fight has degenerated into a nasty brawl. The two
roll around on the mat, punching and jabbing. The official tries to maintain
some control but his authority has loosened as the two seem to be in a rage,
disregarding rules and regulations in every manner possible. Alexandra manages
to thrust her knee, sharply into Gwen’s stomach. Then she places her other one
firmly in Gwen’s gut, flipping the Spaniard over on her back, with the crowd
screaming in displeasure. Alexandra bounces to her feet and offers a swift kick
to Gwen’s side, eliciting a scream of pain from the woman.) Garry: Ha! Maybe Gwen could be Alexandra’s ‘side kick!’ Ha! Get it? Sandra: Ugh. Get me a bottle of Maalox. (Gwen’s stamina had worn down, and Alexandra has taken advantage. She goes
low, smashing her fist into Gwen’s crotch, causing the Spaniard to scream in
pain, but the nonchalant official seemed to be more interested in Miss Vanity
and Gloreu than the two fierce competitors. As Gwen’s head is lowered,
Alexandra applies a swinging neckbreaker, smashing the Mediterranean beauty into
the mat. Within seconds Alexandra goes for the pin, with the official counting
to three. Alexandra leaps up happy with the results, and the crowd booing,
thinking that the count was too fast. Alexandra looks down with the intent of
putting on more punishment and humiliation but the might Gwen has arisen from
the mat, furious at Alexandra’s dirty tactics. Alexandra looks shocked and the
shock is translated into physical pain as she delivers a hard right to Alexandra’s
jaw. Alexandra shouts an order, angrily, to Miss Vanity. Behind Gwen, Alexandra’s
assistant has climbed the steps with the large mirror but Gloreu shouts
something in Spanish, causing Gwen to turn as Miss Vanity swings. Ducking out of
the way and using Alexandra as a shield, the mirror crashes over the redhead,
causing her to slump to the ground, blood coming down her face.) Sandra: Ha-ha! Now she has something to match the color of her hair! Garry: You are terrible! (As Miss Vanity rushes in, cursing herself for her miscue, Gwen offers her a
punch to the gut for her troubles. As she slumps next to her boss, they both lay
in an area of broken glass. As Alexandra comes around, she sees Gwen ascending
the ramp and turns to Miss Vanity, screaming. The tirade is completed as
Alexandra whacks her with her closed hand, offering an example of her extreme
displeasure.) Sandra: Well, it seems like the blind leading the blind. Garry: Grrrr. Shut up! We’ll be right back, folks!