Sandra: Welcome back! As always, it’s me, Sandra…

Gary: and me, every woman’s dream!!

Sandra: You mean nightmare!

Gary: And speaking of dreams, let’s talk about another!

Sandra: Please, yes! There is no love lost between these two incredible talents here tonight!

Gary: If only there was a way to find out for sure!

Sandra: Whaddya mean?

Gary: Just how “really” talented they are!

Sandra: That’s grosser than that donut you tried to feed me last week!

Gary: Try to be nice to someone and what do you get! Sheesh!

Sandra: Lisa Dream and Yvette Malreaux! I expect anything can happen tonight!

Gary: Oh please! Let that be so!

Sandra: Looks like a good turnout from Mother’s Opposing Pornography tonight! They should have a wild time with this match!

Gary: You mean Peggy Christian’s sewing circle! They look pretty ugly tonight, heck, they always look ugly!

Sandra: Uh oh! Look at this! A sign of things to come tonight!

Gary: You just KNEW someone in the Sisterhood had to make an appearance tonight!

Coming quietly down the ramp was La Petite Marquise, Jennifer Christian. No fanfare or pyrotechnics accompanied her as she came down the ramp and took a place around the edge of the ring, a very serious look on her face.

Sandra: It looks like Yvette is hedging her bets!

Gary: With the Little Marquise! She’s had one match!

Sandra: She won!

Gary: Wow, She beat Eden “falling” Starr! Big deal!

All of the lights in the arena dim as the sounds of twinkling stars

and awe music fills the stadium. The blood red letters ‘THE DREAM’ spin and

solidify on the large jumbotron monitor located above the exit from the dressing

room area, as smoke fills the entrance ramp. Then, there is a burst of

pyrotechnics, the music shifts to the opening cords of ‘NOOKIE’, by Limp Bizkit,

and Lisa Dream exits the dressing room area. She arrogantly stands on the

entrance ramp, surveying the sell out crowd as they show their appreciation for

the conceited girl. Lisa is wearing a black leather halter top and black

leather pants combination, and she walks down to the ring like a supermodel on

an entrance ramp. She sweeps into the ring with an arrogant smirk, and struts

around the perimeter of the squared circle for the benefit of her adoring fans.

Lisa then orders someone at ringside to hand her a microphone, which she quickly

gets, and, when the crowd finally quietens down, she raises it to her lips.

“Feast your eyes and Fantasize, because your Battling Ring Angels Icon has now

decided to grace all of you with her ever so luscious presence! I know how badly

it is, having to sit through all of those previous matches, showcasing boring,

untalented slobs that all of you could not care less about! I feel your pain, I

feel the exact same disgust as yourselves when I am forced to watch the Nina

LaRue’s and Sherry Ann’s of this federation! But do not fear, because the whole

reason for your presence has just walked through the gates of Heaven…. You’re All

American Sweetheart promises to put on a good show for all of you, her loyal

DREAM-o-phobics! This is all going out to those of you who wish that you are as

TALENTED as the Dream, as CUNNING as the Dream, as GORGEOUS as the Dream!”

“Yvette Malreaux, you insignificant peon, I once had great respect for you. I

once found you to be an admirable woman…but that all changed when you dared to

confront me while in France! I am *perfection*, darling, and I do what I want,

when I want! You, and all the rest of these fools had best learn to live with

that! You think that you have what it takes to challenge the ultimate image of

human *perfection* in that very ring? Honey, you aren’t fit to clean my shoes,

and I am going to toss you from one corner of that ring to the other like a

little rag doll! For everyone knows that, though I am all of these fans

greatest DREAM…I am your greatest NIGHTMARE!!!”

“I have to apologize right now, to all of my loyal fans, those that came here

in the vain effort for just a little glimpse of *perfection*! I always hope for

them to give me a good match, just so that you can gaze upon me for as long as

possible, but in this case…well, you all know that I could beat this French fool

with the snap of my fingers! I will try to drag it on as long as possible,

however, for all of you, my loyal fans. But for you, my dear Marquise, you had

best close your eyes…. and fantasize…because that is the ONLY way you will EVER

top….*perfection*”

Sandra: Well, if marks were given for conceit, she deserves to be a champion!

Gary: Did you see the way she looked at me! Like she had love in her eyes!

Sandra: Or maybe sand in her eyes! I think it would be a very close battle between you and Lisa!

Gary: What? You mean in good looks?

Sandra: No, in overblown egos!

The lights go out, as the fans boo, expressing their

hatred of one of the most detested athletes in BRA.

However, this does not deter her as she walks intently

towards the ring. Explosions and pyrotechnics erupt.

Fireballs shoot into the air. As the first few bars

of the French National Anthem play, the crowd is

worked into a frenzy of anger, then suddenly the

traditional music is cut off. A voice, in a French

accent, with a seemingly innocent tone speaks out.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Then there is the sudden

and streaking sound of a whip cracking and the same

voice laughs cruelty. The Angeltron explodes to

life, showing scenes of terrorism, violence, sex, and

clips of some of Yvette’s greatest moments, followed

by the Lords of Acid’s ‘The Most Wonderful Girl.’ The

lights again dim, and a figure appears at the top of

the ramp, dressed in a heavy black cloak. On her

shoulder rests a large black crow. Behind her, the

curtains open and black birds fly into the arena,

soaring towards the ring, enveloping all around in the

darkness of the flock. The robed figure slowly makes

her way towards the ring, pointing ominously towards

Lisa. Walking slowly, the eerie figure walks in time

with the music. Upon reaching the ring, the figure

approaches Lisa and gets closer to her.

Sandra: Wow! These entrances get better and better! This is a new approach for Yvette

Lisa stands in the ring with her arms folded, almost daring Yvette to come closer.

Gary: This looks very tense….uh oh…something’s happening!

Yvette stops right in front of Lisa Dream, facing her for a moment. Then opening the robe, “Yvette” pulls out a small club and quickly lets fly at Lisa. The perfect one ducked and was lucky to catch it on her shoulder, but it sent her falling back to the ropes.

Sandra: Wait a moment!! That’s not…

Before she could finish, a flash of white brushed past the announcer’s table and the real Yvette moved quickly to the side of the ring where Lisa was on the ropes. Yvette grabbed her ankles and pulled hard, sending Dream face first to the canvas! Meanwhile, the first “Yvette” managed another blow with the club before the referee, one of the younger, keener new refs hired by BRA for just such matches, pulled her away and ordered her from the ring.

Gary: I wondered why Merci had not accompanied her master to the ring!

Sandra: Yes! She was already there!

As Jennifer helped Merci from the ring, Yvette had moved as quickly as a cat into the ring and got to her feet before Lisa recovered from the shock! The Marquise smiled as she quickly stomped the back of Lisa’s head several times, threatening to push it through the mat!

Sandra: The cruelty in that woman is amazing! Does she know no boundaries?

Gary: Lisa Dream is the Celestial champion. You have to do what you have to beat someone that beautiful…..er….good!

Sandra: Yvette's got Dream up! Owww!!! Spinning kick to the face! Lisa’s back in the ropes!

In the ring Lisa seemed more concerned with her looks than her injuries. Covering her face with her hands, she turns to the ropes, trying to hide the face!

“Oh my face!! My beautiful face!” she sobbed in despair!

Gary: A little vanity showing up there! If anyone has the right though!

Yvette tries to grab Lisa but is met with an elbow that strikes the Marquise in her left eye, causing her to stagger back cursing!

“Mon Dieu! You must have a death wish to confront me like that! Now you will feel the sting of the Marquise!”

As she approached again though Lisa ducks under the ropes and scampers around to the far side of the ring, but is met by the Little Marquise blocking her way.

Gary: That’s pretty typical tactics of Lisa! Run and hide, but this time she looks like she has nowhere to go!

Sandra: I don’t think Jennifer is going to touch her, but Lisa doesn’t know that!

Lisa backs away and as she sees Yvette leaving the ring quickly stops and grabs a chair and turns back again, wielding it at Jennifer! Yvette sees the threat to her protégé and screams at Lisa as she sprints to her aid, but is caught as Lisa quickly reverses herself and slams the chair into the charging Yvette instead!

Gary: Oh my god!!

Sandra: Oh that was brutally cunning! Lisa used Yvette’s protégé against her.

Gary: Turnabout is fair play I guess!

Lisa stands over Yvette who is lying stunned on the floor and turns to the audience, tapping her head!

Sandra: Now that’s cocky!

Gary: Nonetheless, it WAS a smart move! That’s how you become the champ!

Lisa strikes a pose, yelling to the crowd,

“Feast your eyes and fantasize!”

Then turning to a fuming Jennifer<

“Young pup, look at your master now! Who does she think she is to challenge perfection in such a manner!”

Lisa then turns and drags Yvette up by the hair; rolling her back in to the ring and following close behind. She then hauls Yvette up to her feet and half drags her to the center of the ring. Bending her opponent over, Lisa locks Yvette in a standing head scissors, squeezing her legs as she strikes a muscle pose with her arms, smiling to the crowd.

Sandra: Have to give her an “A” for showmanship!

Gary: I guess when you’re the champ you gotta…..

Before he could finish the crowd erupts as suddenly with a mighty effort, Yvette hoists Lisa up and over, dropping her solidly on her back! Lisa groans as the unexpected move winds her.

Sandra: Great counter!! That took a lot of effort! Ohhhh!! Elbow drop by Yvette! And ANOTHER!

Gary: Oh how the tides turn! Look out, bulldog lariat!

Yvette scowls as she drags a suddenly stunned Lisa around the ring before throwing her under the top rope and to the floor, right in front of M.O.P. As she lands and tries to get groggily to her feet she is faced by a very irate woman from the group in a lime green polyester pantsuit.

Gary: Now the crowd is really getting into it, especially those members of the Peggy Christian fan club! That one old biddy is really getting on Lisa Dream’s case!

Sandra: Her fashion sense I think is making a case on its own!

Gary: Hey, I kind of like the suit! Lime green is very fashionable! Hey! What’s happening? Why is she grabbing her chest!!

Sandra: Oh no! It looks like the poor dear is having a heart attack! Call the medics!

The old woman was indeed clutching at her heart with one hand, but resolutely holding on to her mop with the other. Suddenly she stumbled forward and as she fell to the ground, the mop seems to strike a still groggy Lisa in the head with an almost “clang!” Lisa crumbles to the floor again, grabbing her head as the medics arrive on scene, putting the old woman quickly on a stretcher.

Sandra: Something is very fishy about that old woman! I think I’ve seen that leopard print hat before, and so has Peggy Christian!

Gary: Yeah, Peggy probably loaned it to her!

Meanwhile, as the old woman is stretchered off Yvette has come out of the ring and pulled Lisa to her feet, dragging her to a corner and slamming her head into a post! The ref fails to see it as he suspiciously looks for the broom that struck Lisa on the head, but is headed off swiftly by the quick wit of the Little Marquise who flashes her melt-your-heart smile at the ref and picks it up herself. Promising to take it to the poor woman, she turns on her heels and runs out of the arena with it before the momentarily taken ref can inspect further. When he finally turns Yvette has rolled Lisa back in the ring and has her bent over and set up for a piledriver.

Gary: Uh oh! That’s the same mistake Lisa made before!

Sandra: I think Yvette knows what she doing! Look!

Yvette grins evilly, then proceeds to spank the bent over Dream on her behind!

“Are you feeling the sting now, Dream! The sting of the Marquise!”

Sandra: That has to be terribly humiliating for Lisa!

Gary: She should know! That’s her move! Hehe!! But not for long! It’s up and!…..

Sandra: Piledriver!!

Gary: Its time for Dreamland now! Look at Yvette, it looks like the Third Estate!

Yvette has Lisa up again, planting her hand in Lisa’s crotch this time as she slams her down hard with the tombstone piledriver! Outside, a jubilant Jennifer Christian has arrived back in time to see her mentor’s punishing move! But she is so caught up in the match she fails to see a small figure of a woman creep up behind her. She turns but is too late as a chair swings from the arms of the stranger and catches her in the side of the head, dropping her stunned to the floor!

Sandra: What happened there! Who was that and why has she coldcocked Jennifer Christian!

Gary: I have a hunch, but I don’t want to think it!

The gothic looking little creature smiled at her handiwork, but was brought up sharp with a yell from Yvette!

“LOURDES!! Mon dieu!!”

Gary: Thought so!

Then a lot of things happened at once. Lisa lay stunned on the mat, having rolled to the ropes but not managing to get any farther. Yvette had got to her feet beside Lisa, and was having a heated conversation in French with the newcomer as the little Marquise finally stirred beneath them. Then to the side, another figure slid quietly and quickly from the crowd and darted to the side of the ring where Lisa was trying to stir, still dazed from the Third Estate. As the figure, garbed in a ninja style suit, got to the ring a vicious looking set of metal nails appeared on one hand. With a quick slash at Lisa’s face the figure ran stealthily away before anyone could stop it! Lisa screamed as the nails made three perfect scratches down her perfect face!

Sandra: What in blue blazes is going on here! This is getting out of control! The referee has to stop this or something!

Lisa got to her knees and a look of horror spread over her face as she pulled her hand away and noticed the blood stains on it! Screaming loudly, she reacted swiftly and balling up a fist, drove it hard up between Yvette’s legs as he still argued with her sister! Yvette turned pale and dropped to her knees groaning. The referee, finally getting a grip waved to the timekeeper, signaling for the bell.

DING DING DING

Gary: Well, you got your wish. The referee has stopped the match!

Sandra: He’s disqualifying Lisa! After all that has gone on he’s disqualifying her for that low blow!

Gary: Hey, I’m a guy and I felt that shot!

Lisa got to her feet and covered her face, looking around in shock like she could not believe what happened! The referee confirmed everything by raising Yvette’s hand in the air! Jennifer had just found her feet again and Lourdes was gone, and out of the back came Laura Parker, helping the little Marquise up and then assisting Yvette with the aid of Merci, who had also arrived again. Lisa, meanwhile continued to wander around the ring slowly in a state of shock.

Sandra: These matches are getting wilder each time I come! In a wild and crazy match, Yvette Malreaux defeats Lisa Dream to move on to the next round of the featherweight tournament!

Winner: Yvette Marquise DeSade Malreaux by DQ