Ring announcer: LAAAADIEEEES AND GENTLEMEEEEEN! Tonight's match consists of a first for the Battling Ring Angels. A three on one handicap match, with The Three Cherubs vs. Laura Parker. The special guest referee for tonight's match is SAAAABRINA PEREZIIIII.

(Sabrina enters the arena from the wrestlers' entrance. She is greeted by cheers from most of the fans but there is a large contingent of I TAPPA KEG that boos her loudly. She smiles at the frat boys and their hearts melt, stopping the boos in their throats. Sabrina wears a black and white ref shirt with black shorts and black wrestling boots. Sabrina waves to her fans as she takes her place in the center of the ring.)

Sandra: Archangel did a smart thing having Sabrina referee this match. At least we know the officiating will be honest.

Garry: Honest? Who are you kidding? I'm sure that she brought along her good friend Gabrielle to make sure that Laura loses.

Sandra: Gabrielle is no friend of Sabrina's. She doesn't want or need his help to win matches.

Garry: Yeah right. That's why she always brings him along.

Ring announcer: LAAAADIEEEES AND GENTLEMEEEEEN! Introducing from Malibu California, standing at 5' 8" and weighing in at 125Lbs, one pound too light for the Celestial Title, LAURAAAA PAAAAKER!

(The lights dim as Randy Newman's "Short People" begins to play through the sound system. A spot light picks up Laura Parker as she emerges from behind the curtain of the wrestler's entrance. Laura is dressed in white skin tight spandex pants, with over the knee black boots and a white bikini top. She ignores the cheers, jeers and catcalls of the audience as she charges straight into the ring. Laura walks past the contingent of I TAPPA KEG and doesn't even acknowledge them. Willie Wienersnitzel, her Hollywood agent, runs behind Laura trying, unsuccessfully, to keep up. Laura grabs the mic from the ring announcer's hand.)

Garry: WOW! Laura is hot H-O-T hot!.

Sandra: She is angry about something.

Garry: That too.

Sandra:  She didn't even do her usual "beauty queen" parade routine. And you know what?

Garry: What?

Sandra: I didn't miss it all.

Garry: QUIET! Laura is about to speak.

Laura: I have had enough from you, Archangel. Last week I won the BRA Celestial title but you took it away from me on some made up rule about me being too skinny to qualify for it.

(Laura strikes a seductive pose for the crowd.)

Laura: Does it look like I need to put an ounce of fat any where on me?

(The crowd roars out with whistles and catcalls.)

Laura: Am I big enough to wear the Celestial title?

(Another seductive pose by Laura brings forth another avalanche of whistles and catcalls)

Laura: Do you like the decision of Archangel?

Crowd: NO!

(Laura looks up toward a darkened sky box and smiles.)

Laura: Are you listening to the many wonderful fans of BRA, Archangel? Those wonderful fans that pay your salary? We wouldn't want to get them angry, would we Archangel?

(The fans boo Archangel's name. Laura smiles broadly.)

Laura: Who do the fans of BRA want as their Celestial Champion?

(The Crowd seems to be somewhat divided in its answer)

Crowd: Yvette Malreaux! Sabrina Perezi! Lisa Dream! Evonne Carmikel!

(Laura stomps her feet in anger when she doesn't hear her name mentioned even once.)

Laura: SHUT UP, YOU MORONS!

(Willie signals frantically to get Laura to stop but she ignores him. The crowd boos her roundly. Laura sneers at the crowd.)

Laura: I can beat the big girls. They have less skill than me. The only thing they have that I don't is fat. Now you won't even let me fight them to prove my point. Instead you arrange matches with me having to fight midgets. Archangel, it was bad enough that you changed the rules at the last minute to rob me of MY title belt, but now you really insult me by making me fight midgets.

Sandra: I think they prefer to be called little people.

Garry: Who cares what you think? I agree with Laura.

Laura: I have a surprise for you, Archangel. I'm not going to fight them. You have embarrassed me once too often. I want to fight the so-called heavy weights.  I will not fight the midgets. Get someone else to . . .

(Laura is interrupted by the  lights dimming and the crowd cheering. From the loudspeakers, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Fourth Movement begins. As the lights rise, the large curtain at the top of the ramp parts, and two familiar faces appear: Celeste and Angelique - the two 'angels' who assist Gabrielle, underling of the ArchAngel. They carry, what appears to be, sacks of goodies. The crowd cheers, pleased with the sight. Celeste, the brunette and Angelique, the blonde, are dressed identically. Each wear tight fitting, white bikinis and large, feathery, angel wings on their backs. They have small bootlets and on their heads are crooked halos. With a sinister glance, bouncing in time with the music, they each hold back a section of the curtain, and with their free hand, twist them, in unison, gesturing toward the opening, like assistants on a game show. The figure of Gabrielle, spokesman of the ArchAngel steps through, dressed in black robes from the hood over his head, to parts that cover his feet. He wears black gloves and a golden mask. Clutched in his hands is the coveted Celestial Belt. Not one feature betrays him as everything is obscured. He could be old, young, ugly, attractive, black, white, red, green - it is a mystery. He walks slowly to the ring as Celeste and Angelique bounce behind him, pulling out T-shirts, posters and memorabilia from the top stars in the federation, throwing them all to the crowd, immediately gaining endearment - however fleeting it may be. Gabrielle enters the ring. Laura smiles at him and reaches out her hand to be given the Celestial title belt. Gabrielle doesn't give it to her.)

Laura: I see Archangel came to her senses and decided to give me what is rightfully mine.

(Gabrielle turns his masked face toward Laura but does not reply. Laura looks into the mask in hopes of seeing some reaction. She sees none.)

Laura: Well! Give me the title belt.

Gabrielle: No.

Laura: No! What do you mean, no? Didn't Archangel order you to give me the belt?

Gabrielle: Oh no. Archangel stands by the decision she made last week.

Laura: Then why ae you here and why did you bring the belt with you?

Gabrielle: (Waiving the belt, just out of Laura's, reach.) I just like showing the belt off.

(Laura screams in rage and runs at Gabrielle. He backs away as Celeste and Angelique step between him and Laura. The two fallen angels smile at Laura and waive their finger back and forth as if saying ah ah aaah. Laura thinks better of taking on the two fallen angels. She stomps her feet in frustration and walks away.)

Laura: You and Archangel are the meanest people I have ever met.

Gabrielle: Laura Parker, the all powerful, all knowing and all merciful ArchAngel has heard your complaints. In her infinite wisdom, she has decided to grant your request. You will not have to fight the three cherubs tonight.

(Laura squeals in delight. The crowd boos, thinking it has been cheated out of a chance to see more blood shed. Laura begins to leave the ring.)

Laura: Well, since I don't have a match, I might as well get dressed and party with my friends in the Sisterhood.

Gabrielle: I didn't say that you didn't have a match. Archangel agreed that you should not have to fight THREE minis in one match. The all powerful and magnificent Archangel has decreed that you shall fight ONE opponent.

(Laura looks suspiciously at Sabrina. Sabrina looks surprised at this turn of events.)

Laura: I'll be glad to beat this fake Miss America. Anytime any place.

Sabrina: I pinned you once and I can do it again.

(Sabrina and Laura move toward each other, ready to fight. The crowd goes wild in anticipation of this match up.)

Laura: (furious) You never pinned me! I had my shoulder up at the count of three. That stupid ref was only looking at Princess Pig. Besides the legal person in the ring was Princess Pig, not I. You cheated and you got that crooked ref to give you the win. I can take . . .

Sabrina: When I'm through with you, you can get a job doing something you are good at. Like being an audience member for an infommercial.

Laura: I'll tear that bottle blonde hair of yours out by the roots.

(Gabrielle steps between the two grapplers.)

Gabrielle: I think you both misunderstand the Archangel's intentions. Sabrina will not be Laura's opponent tonight.

(Laura looks relieved at this, but Sabrina looks disappointed. The cheers of a moment ago are turned into more boos as the crowd is once again disappointed in not getting to see what they think will be a good  match. Laura tries to cover her relief by smiling sweetly at Sabrina. Sabrina refuses to break eye contact with Laura. Laura finally turns away.)

Sabrina: Perhaps another day.

Laura: The sooner the better. (Looking at Gabrielle) Who is my opponent?

Gabrielle: A special wrestler. (Sounding exactly like the regular ring announcer) LAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEEEEN! Introducing the newest Battling Ring Angle Superstar. From parts unknown. Standing 7' 6" tall and weighing more than FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS! GAAARGANTUAAAAA!

(The crowd looks in horror at the wrestlers entrance to see this monstrosity  as "Alzo Spracht Zorathustra" pounds through the sound system. The curtains part and out steps the largest female wrestler any of the fans has ever seen. There is a collective gasp as she moves toward the ring. The drum beat of the music is so loud that the arena seems to shake at every step the giant takes. Gargantua is dressed in a large and flowing cloak that cover all of her body, except her impossibly small head. The head has bright red hair cut in a pageboy and a big smile on its face. Laura looks horror stricken at the approaching behemoth.)

Garry: OH MY GOD!

Sandra: (In awe) I have never seen anyone that big before. Where did archangel find her?

(The crowd is silent as it stares in wonder at Gargantua. Laura is quaking in her boots at the thought of wrestling this goliath.)

Laura: NO! THERE IS NO WAY ARCHANGEL CAN MAKE ME FIGHT THIS MONSTER!

Gabrielle: What's the matter Laura? Didn't you just say that you can take on any of the big girls?

Laura: I meant normal big girls. Not this freak.

Gabrielle: Laura, dear Laura. How can you expect Archangel to grant your wishes when you are not sure what you are wishing for?  You want to prove you are worthy of the Celestial Title, even without meeting the weight restriction? Now is the time to prove it. The match has been set. It can't be changed now.

Laura: I won't do it! I refuse to fight this monster.

(The crowd begins to boo as Laura starts to walk out of the ring. Gabrielle reaches into a hidden pocket in his cloak and pulls out a large sheaf of papers.)

Gabrielle: Before you go I have something I think you should read. It's the production contract between William Wienersnitzel and Battling Ring Angels to produce the movie "Plan 10 From Outer Space".

(The mentioning of the movie she is set to star in stops Laura in her tracks. Gabrielle begins leafing through the pages of the contract.)

Gabrielle: (As he scans each page) Piffle  . . . twaddle . . . flummery  . . . Ah! Here is the important part. " For valuable considerations paid, the party of the first part covenants and agrees to cast only women under contract to the Battling Ring Angels in any starring roles. No exceptions will be allowed."

(Laura looks worried. She glances at Willie who sheepishly nods his head yes. Gabrielle reaches into his cloak and pulls out another sheaf of papers. Through all of this Sabrina has been leaning against the ropes laughing at Laura. She begins to make chicken sounds at Laura. Laura stares at her in anger. Gargantua has reached the ring area and is standing at the bottom step to the ring.)

Gabrielle: Look what I just happen to have with me. It's your contract Laura. (He grips it in both of his hands and prepares to tear it in two.) Do you end your movie career before it starts or do you fight Gargantua?

(Laura storms over to Willie and begins to argue with him. He throws up his hands helplessly. Laura turns toward Gabrielle and throws her mic to the floor.)

Gabrielle: I take that as a yes, you will fight. A wise decision.

(Gabrielle and his two cohorts leave the ring. Sabrina smiles at Laura, savoring the beating Laura is sure to get. Laura sticks her tongue out at Sabrina. Sabrina is shocked at this childish display by Laura. Gargantua begins to climb the steps to the ring. Before she can climb the stairs, Laura runs across the ring and vaults the top rope, deliver a suicide planca to the monster.)

Garry: Laura on the offensive has made that daring move before the bell even rang.

Sandra: I'm surprised. I thought that someone that large would catch Laura but it seems to have taken Gargantua by surprise. She fell to the concrete floor of the arena.

Garry: There was something odd about the way Gargantua fell.

Sandra: It did look strange. Let's see if the camera can get in close and show what is going on.

(The camera closes in and it looks like Gargantua has been broken into pieces. The cloak still hides the whole body but it seems to be spread about. Laura stands and smiles at her handiwork, raising her arms in victory.)

Garry: I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! LAURA HAS BROKEN GARGANTUA INTO AT LEAST THREE PIECES! So much for Archangel's plan to destroy Laura. Laura just proved that she can beat the biggest wrestler BRA has ever had. She should be given the Celestial title just for that.

Sandra: Wait a minute! Something is happening under that cloak.

(Laura's look of triumph turns to one of disbelief as the cloak begins to move in strange ways. Gargantua's head disappears into the cloak. Suddenly three heads appear from inside the cloak, followed quickly by three bodies.)

Garry: What is going on?

Sandra: I don't believe it. Gargantua is actually just the Angel Minis. Mary, Jo and Curley Cherub. The Cherub sisters are identical triplets.

Garry: How can you tell who is who?

Sandra: You can't. That's why they are called identical.

(The crowd roars with laughter as the look on Laura face changes from shock to anger.  Laura turns toward the departing Gabrielle and screams at him.)

Laura: YOU TRICKED . . . OOOOFFF!

(Laura speech is cut off by a head butt to her stomach by Jo, or it could have Mary or Curley for that matter, no one can tell them apart and they are dressed in identical costumes. Gabrielle ignores Laura as he makes his stately exit from the arena. Celeste and Angelique both turn toward Laura and smile as they blow her a kiss. Laura doubles over from the impact of the head butt and is driven to her knees as the other two Cherub sisters drive their shoulder into the back of her knees. Two of the Cherubs sit on Laura calves while wrapping their arms around Laura's thighs trying to hold her in place. The third one begins to punch Laura in the face. Sabrina yells at all four wrestlers to get back into the ring as she signals for the bell to start the match. Laura uses her longer arms to punch Jo in the gut to make her back away. Laura then begins to pry the hands of the one holding her right thigh free. She succeeds but while she is doing this Jo delvers a drop kick to Laura's chest causing her to fall backwards onto to the other two Cherubs. Laura is quickly on her feet but so are the three minis. They space themselves in a circle around Laura. Forcing Laura to keep turning to prevent any sneak attacks. This strategy of Laura's proves to be a complete fiasco as this only allows each in turn to get a punch to her kidney (the highest spot they can reach) or a kick to her calves. Sabrina begins to count them out.)

Sandra: HAHAHAHA! It looks like Laura can't even fight the little people. How can she claim any right to the Celestial title?

Garry: This is an outrage! How can the Archangel insult such a lovely young woman as Laura by making her fight these brutal midgets? This is just Archangel being spiteful,

(The cell phone in Garry's pocket rings and he answers it.)

Garry: Hello? . . .OH! (Garry begins to sweat profusely) . . .  Sure, I was only joking. (Garry runs his finger around his shirt collar, for some reason it has become incredibly tight.) . . . Sure, no more comments about Archangels being biased.

(Garry puts his phone back in his coat pocket and smiles sickly at the camera)

Sandra: Who is calling you during a match?

Garry: It was nothing. Let's get back to this exciting match featuring these highly trained and skilled luchadore minis.

Sandra: I thought you considered them jokes.

Garry: I never said that. I have always said that this is a brilliant idea of Archangel's to provide a different form of sports entertainment.

Sandra: That must have been Archangel on the phone. Did she threaten your job again?

Garry: I don't want to talk about it. Let's get back to the match.

(Laura and the Cherubs are outside the ring. As Laura tries to punch or kick one of them they roll out of the way and Laura is attacked in the back by the other two. Laura decides to change her tactics. She fakes a kick at one then spins and grabs another. The aspiring actress throws the one she has grabbed at a second one and jumps onto the ring apron. She prepares to enter the ring as the third Cherub scampers up the steps and into the ring. Laura is about to enter the ring by ducking under the top rope when her legs are pulled out from under her by the two Cherubs on the outside of the ring. Laura falls with her stomach across the middle rope. The cherub inside the ring grabs a double handful of Laura's hair and pulls her into the ring, giving her stomach a nasty rope burn. Before she gets all the way into the ring, the two Cherubs holding her legs pull her out of the ring, with her weight being held by the middle rope. Laura screams as she is given another rope burn. Sabrina warns the Cherub pulling Laura's hair to let go of it. The cherub ignores Sabrina and pulls Laura back toward the ring, stopping when Laura's hips reach the rope.)

Sabrina: Let go of her hair. There won't be any cheating in a match that I referee.

(The Cherub still ignores Sabrina as the two Cherubs outside the ring again pull Laura out stopping when the rope reaches her ribs. Laura screams as the rope dig into her already tender midsection. The Cherub in the ring as refused to let go of Laura's hair. In an effort to break the illegal hold, Sabrina slaps at one of the Cherub's hands, causing a sharp tug on the already aching scalp of Laura. Laura wails in pain. Sabrina begins to count so the Cherub lets go of Laura's hair.)

Mary: (The Cherub in the ring) If I can't pull her hair, can I do this?

(Mary reaches down and grabs Laura's right wrist and pulls her over the ropes again, stopping at the same spot.)

Sabrina: No! You can't do that either, She's in the ropes so you have to break the hold and let her get away from them.

(While Sabrina is lecturing Mary, the two outside the ring again pull Laura toward them. Rubbing her toned abs across the rope in the process.)

Mary: Can I do this?

(Mary quickly grabs Laura's left wrist and pulls her over the rope again.)

Sabrina: It doesn't matter which hand you use, it's still illegal and I'll disqualify you if you do it again.

Mary: You're taking all the fun out of this.

(Mary begins to argue with Sabrina as the two outside the ring pull Laura over the rope. Laura screams and this gets Sabrina's attention. She walks to the ropes.)

Sabrina: You two let go of her or I am going to disqualify you right now.

(The two Cherubs look at each other and slam Laura's legs down, causing her knees to crash into the side of the ring. Laura manages to grab the ropes to keep from being flipped on her back onto the concrete floor. The two Cherubs run up the steps and into the ring. All three begin to argue with Sabrina as she explains in no uncertain terms that she won't allow cheating. Laura is on her hands and knees waiting for the sting caused by the rope burn to subside.)

Garry: These minis are cheating. Sabrina is doing little to stop them.

Sandra: Sabrina is doing all she can to keep this match clean. She stopped them from doing that hold, didn't she.

Garry: Laura really was hurt by that rope burn.

Sandra: I guess that's what they mean when they say Laura has a fire in her belly.

Garry: That's so funny I forgot to laugh.

(Laura is attempting to enter the ring by crawling over the bottom rope. Her hands are inside the ring but her knees are on the apron. The cherubs have continued to ask Sabrina questions about what is allowed or not allowed. Sabrina turns to answer a question posed by the Cherub behind her. With her back to Laura, one of the Cherubs takes the opportunity to grab Laura by the hair and pulls her into the ring. Laura shrieks as her entire body is subjected to the rope burn. Sabrina turns to see what is happening, but the deed is done. Laura lies in a ball on the mat while one of the Cherubs smiles innocently at Sabrina. Sabrina looks at the other Cherubs but they merely shrug their shoulders. Laura slowly and painfully gets to her feet. She glares at Sabrina.)

Laura: Are you going to call this match fairly or are you going to cheat me out of another victory?

Sabrina: I AM being fair. Quit your whining and start wrestling.

Laura: Only one AAAAHHHH!

(Laura's scream is caused by two of the Cherubs grabbing both of her arms and sending her crashing into the ropes. She hits the ropes and rebounds backwards. Before she can stop herself, the third Cherub launches a cross body block to Laura's knees that cause her to crash on her back to the mat. The other two Cherubs jump up and land on Laura with splashes. One across her midsection and the other across her shoulders, pinning Laura to the mat. Sabrina jumps to the mat but is only able to count to one before Laura throws off the Cherubs and lifts the shoulder.)

Laura: Only one of the . . . OOOFFF!

(Laura's complaint to the ref is cut off by a Cherub leaping into the air and bringing both of her feet down onto Laura's tender midsection. Laura sits on the mat holding her stomach. Sabrina looks at her.)

Sabrina: I don't understand what you want. What's a the . . . OOOFFF?

(Laura is about to answer this when her head is sent crashing to the mat by means of a clothes line delivered by one of the Cherubs. Laura attempts to yell at Sabrina again but all that comes out of her mouth is a croak. Sabrina can only shrug her shoulders as a Cherub jumps on Laura's shoulders in a school boy pin. Laura easily gets out of this pin attempt. Another Cherub leaps into the air and extends her leg in a leg drop. Laura sees it coming and rolls out of the way. Laura continues to roll across the mat until she comes to the ropes. She uses them to get to her feet. Sabrina stands protectively by Laura preventing further attacks by the Cherubs while Laura is holding the ropes.)

Garry: Laura seems to be trying to say something to the ref, but she still can't speak because of that clothes line.

Sandra: Thank God for small favors.

Garry: Hey! That's not nice. I think Laura has a lovely voice.

Sandra: All she does is whine. Whenever I hear her speak, I get a craving for cheese.

Garry: Laura is mad about something. Look how red her face is.

Sandra: It's almost as red as her belly.

(Laura finds her voice and begins to argue with Sabrina)

Laura: Only one of the midgets can be in the ring at a time.

Sabrina: No. Gabrielle said that Gargantua is ONE wrestler. So they are really only three parts of the same wrestler. Therefore, they can all be in the ring at the same time.

(Laura moves away from the ropes toward Sabrina. Sabrina response by taking a stance with her feet apart, ready for anything Laura tries.)

Laura: Your just interpreting the rules in a way that will make me lose.

Sabrina: A GOOD wrestler would have no trouble beating all three of the Cherubs.

Laura: Are you saying I'm not a good wrestler?

(Laura raises her arms and advanced toward Sabrina. The Cherubs huddle together and plan their next move)

Garry: Laura should stop arguing with the ref and just beat these midgets. She isn't using her brain.

Sandra: That assumes that Laura has a brain.

(Any attack that Laura has planned on Sabrina is ended when a Cherub runs between Sabrina's legs and gives Laura a head butt to the groin. She scampers between Laura's legs and rejoins her sisters in the huddle. A strangled gasp comes from Laura's mouth as her face contorts in pain and her hands cover her wounded area. She slumps to her knees as Sabrina chases after the rule breaking Cherub. Sabrina grabs one of them and points her finger toward the locker room.)

Sabrina: I warned you about breaking the rules. You're out of here.

Jo: (For that is the one Sabrina has grabbed) You can't throw me out. I'm not the one that did it. Curley is the one that did that head butt.

(Jo points in the general direction of the other two Cherubs. Sabrina goes to them and grabs the nearest one.)

Sabrina: All right Curley, you're out of the match.

Mary: I'm not Curley, I'm Mary.

(Sabrina looks back at Jo and sees that she is now standing with Curley.)

Garry: Sabrina can't tell which Cherub is which.

Sandra: She wants to throw one of them out for that low blow, but she doesn't know which one did it.

Garry: She should just throw one of them out. It doesn't matter which one.

Sandra: She can't do that. It wouldn't be fair if she threw out the wrong one.

(Sabrina realizes the futility of trying to find the one that committed the misdeed. Instead she decides to read the riot act to Mary. Unfortunately for Laura, Sabrina has her back to her. Laura is now on her hands and knees, trying the ease the pain in her pelvic region. Jo jumps on Laura's back facing forward and Curley jumps on her back facing backward. Jo begins digging her heels into Laura's ribs as Curley begins to spank her rear.)

Jo and Curley: Giddy up horsey.

(The crowd roars it's laughter over Laura's predicament. Laura rears up trying to shake the Minis off her back. In doing this she does a pretty good imitation of a bucking horse. The Cherubs hold out one hand out waving imaginary cowboy hats. Jo's other hand has a firm grasp of Laura's hair, while Curley's hand has a tight grip on her pants. )

Jo: YEEE HAAAH!

Mary: Ride 'em cowgirls!

(Laura makes a violent move that shakes Curley off her back. At least Laura has stopped the embarrassment of being paddled by someone half her size. Unfortunately for Laura, Jo has managed to hang on, by tightly gripping Laura's neck and choking her. Mary is busy keeping Sabrina's attention away from the actions of her two cohorts. Laura's face begins to turn blue as Jo tightens her choke. Curley runs around until she is in front of Laura. Laura tries desperately to loosen Jo's grip. Curley begins to deliver a series of right and left jabs to Laura's unprotected stomach. Laura had almost pried Jo's fingers from her throat when the first punch landed on her already sore midsection. Laura manages to get one gulp of air before her hands drop to protect her from Curley's onslaught. Jo takes the opportunity to tighten her grip on Laura's throat. Laura manages to block some of Curley's punches but then tries to pry Jo's hands from her neck. This gives Curley some more free shots at Laura. Laura manages to get Jo's fingers far enough from her throat to breathe again. She takes two quick gulps of air before lowering her hands to block Curley's punches. Finally Laura punches and connects squarely with Curley's chin. Curley spins around before falling to the mat. Laura then pries Jo's fingers from her throat and throws her to the mat. Mary stops arguing with Sabrina and lets her see what is going on.)

Garry: Those little runts are cheating!

Sandra: They are employing tactics that I wouldn't approve of.

Garry: And Sabrina is letting them cheat.

Sandra: She isn't letting them cheat, but I believe that FOUR rule breakers in the ring are too much for one referee.

Garry: Laura hasn't cheated.

Sandra: Laura hasn't done anything but whine to the ref.

(Laura staggers to her feet and leans in a corner of the ring. Normally she would avoid a corner, but with the three Cherubs this is the best way to protect her back. Laura tries to complain to Sabrina but her throat is too raw to speak. Mary charges at Laura and leaps attempting a splash. To Mary's surprise, Laura catches her and holds her. Laura moves toward the center of the ring holding Mary. Laura then changes her grip so that she is holding Mary's right hand and ankle. Jo and Curley move toward Laura but then quickly dive out of the way as Laura begins spinning. Mary's body flies around in circles as Laura spins faster. Laura moves toward the Cherubs but they dart out of the way of the IFC (Identified Flying Cherub) Laura releases Mary and she spins through the air. Mary's flight is stopped when she comes into solid contact with Sabrina. The ref is stunned by the sudden attack. The force that Laura threw the Cherub with is enough to cause her to fall on her back with Mary on her chest. Jo leaps to the mat and hurriedly slaps it three times. She raises Mary's hand in victory as all the three Cherubs dance around the ring celebrating their victory. Jo signals for the bell.)

DING!

(Sabrina gets to her feet and waives off the bell)

Sabrina: I'm the referee, you idiots. To win the match you have to pin her.

(Sabrina points at Laura, who is leaning against the ropes having made herself dizzy during that airplane spin. The Cherubs look at Sabrina then at Laura and then back to Sabrina.)

JO: Darn! All you big people look alike to us.

(Sabrina looks at Laura. Her normally pleasant face takes on a snarl.)

Sabrina: You take that back!

(Laura backs into a corner as the three Cherubs advance toward her. This forces the Cherubs to only attack from the front. One of them makes a rush toward Laura to deliver a head butt. Laura dances out of the way, but this puts her in the center of the ring. Before she knows it, the other two Cherubs drop her to the mat on her back with shoulder blocks to the back of her knees. One grabs Laura's right leg and the other her left. The push them toward Laura stomach, rolling her up in a match book pin. Sabrina drops to the mat and slaps it once before Laura manages to get a shoulder up. The two Cherubs push back even harder as Laura thrashes her legs in an effort to get them to release her. Her shoulders touch the mat again and the ref slaps the mat once before Laura gets her shoulder up. The third Cherub, Curley has climbed the turnbuckle and is now on the top one. She poses for a second before she leaps off.)

Sandra: I didn't know these Minis could do high flying moves.

Garry: It's a flying elbow drop right to Laura's . . . OOOUUUCH!

Sandra: I felt that.

(Laura's legs had been spread by the two Cherubs in an attempt to pin her. Curley's elbow lands at the juncture of Laura's legs causing her to scream in agony. Laura curls into the fetal position, her hands between her legs, as she rolls on the mat. A steady stream of curses flowing from her lips. Sabrina, being a rookie ref, was out of position to see exactly what happened, but she knows it was something bad. She gets to her feet and runs at the Cherubs screaming at them.)

Sabrina: Which one of you did that?

(The Cherub's don't answer the question, Instead they start running around in a circle around Sabrina in the hope of making her dizzy. Sabrina catches onto the trick and stops turning around to talk to one of them. Laura, in the meantime, lies on her back in the ring hoping that the pain will go away soon.)

Sabrina: STOP THAT!

(Surprisingly enough, they do stop running in circles. They still pay no attention to Sabrina as they run to the corner nearest Laura. Jo is the first to climb the turnbuckles. She leaps off and nails Laura with a flying moonsault. Next up is Mary, who nails Laura with a guillotine leg drop, seconds after Laura pushed Jo off her. Before Laura can even react to the leg drop, Curley smashes into her stomach with both feet after leaping from the top turnbuckle. Laura gasps as she sits up involuntarily from the stomp. Jo's elbow flies through the air, with Jo attached of course, and lands on the top of Laura's head, causing her eyes to glaze over. Laura moans as she falls back to the mat. She attempts to roll away from the aerial  onslaught. She only manages to move a little before the leg drop aimed at her chest hits her on the shoulder. Laura keeps slowly rolling away and turns the splash aimed at her stomach into a head butt to her back. Laura continues to roll until she reaches the ropes. She holds the bottom one for a moment and then decides to roll out of the ring.)

Garry: Smart move by Laura, getting out of the ring to collect herself.

Sandra: That would be the only smart move she's made all night. Those minis have beaten Laura from pillar to post.

Garry: It's all just part of Laura's strategy.

Sandra: I see. It's Laura plan to hurt their fists by hitting them so hard with her face and body.

Garry: Yeah  . . . I mean  . . . well, you're just too dumb to figure out the brilliance of Laura.

Sandra: I don't think Laura can take any more of this. Her legs are giving out on her. She has to hold on to the ring apron to keep standing.

Garry: Don't count Laura out.

Sandra: I won't have to. Sabrina has already started counting.

(Laura stands at the side of the ring, holding onto the apron to keep from falling down. The ref begins the slow count to twenty. Laura's legs are wobbly, her once perfect hair is now a rat's nest. Her perfectly tanned abdomen is now one large bruise. She gulps in large breaths of air. The Cherubs are huddled in the center of the ring discussing some new plan. Two of the cherubs run out of the ring on the side opposite from Laura. They run in different directions around the ring. The third one runs to the ropes near Laura and bounds to the top rope. She springboards off that into a flying drop kick aimed at Laura. With surprising quickness Laura leaps out of the way. Causing the Cherub to crash into the floor. Laura smiles and bends over her preparing to scoop her up into a body slam. Laura smile turns into a roar of pain as another Cherub runs behind her and wraps her arms around Laura's waist. The Cherub, Curley again, sinks her teeth into Laura's perfectly proportioned posterior. Laura flails her arms in an attempt to reach Curley. The audience is laughing at these antics. Even Sabrina is forced to stop counting she is laughing so hard. Laura leaps into the air sticking her legs out in a sitting position. She lands on top of Curley on the concrete floor of the arena. The arena is filled with the sound of a loud CRACK! As Curley's head hits the unforgiving concrete. Laura gets to her feet rubbing her rear. Curley lays unmoving on the concrete. The last Cherub rushes Laura and attacks her viscously. Kicking her shins and punching her in the stomach, as this is as high as she can reach. Laura brings her foot up, landing a low blow of her own. Mary, the last standing Cherub, doubles over as she screams in pain. Sabrina yells at Laura about the low blow, but there is little she can do, since Laura is out of the ring. Sabrina continues to count all the wrestlers out. Laura pushes Mary's head between her luscious thighs. She wraps her hands around Mary's waist and raises her into the air. Mary crashes to the concrete as Laura executes a power bomb on her. Laura puts her in a head lock and raises her from the floor. Laura drops back down driving Mary's head into the concrete with a DDT. Mary flops once on the floor then lies still.)

Garry: What did I tell you? Laura had it all planned out. She really cleaned house. All of the runts are out cold.

Sandra: She was really nasty. I think she may have really hurt those little Cherubs.

(Laura wearily rolls under the bottom rope. She lies on her back in the ring trying to recover from the beating the Cherubs have given her. The crowd begins to cheer. Laura thinks it's for her and waives her hand weakly to her adoring fans. Sabrina has stropped her count at less than twenty. The significance of this takes a few seconds to seep into Laura pain wracked brain. Laura's eyes open in time to see Jo, the cherub that missed with the flying drop kick, leap off the top rope in a moonsault. Laura raises her knees to protect herself and Jo's stomach impacts on them. Jo seems to have impaled herself on Laura's knees as she remains on them for a few seconds. She finally slides off and curls into a ball. Laura rolls on top of her and pins her shoulders to the mat. Sabrina drops to the mat and slaps it.)

ONE

(The crowd begins cheering loudly again. Willie is screaming something at Laura. Laura is too exhausted to pay attention to what Willie is saying.)

TWO!

(The crowd cheering reaches a feverish pitch just before Laura feels the impact of two small feet on the back of her head. Curley, has somehow survived that smashing to the concrete floor. She had climbed to the top rope and leaped off delivering a flying double foot stomp to Laura's head. Laura face is driven into the mat and bounces up. She stares at the crowd for a moment, then her eyes roll back into her head and her head collapses onto the mat. Laura is out cold. Unfortunately for the Cherubs, this doesn't help Jo as Laura is still laying on top of her.)

THREE!!

(Sabrina lifts Laura's hand in victory, but it flops to the mat when she releases it. Sabrina rolls Laura off Jo. Laura lies on the mat out cold to the world.)

Garry: I knew she would win. Laura has what it takes to be the Celestial champion.

Sandra: And what is that? The ability to rollover on a downed opponent? Or her incomparable skill at whining to a referee?

Garry: Quiet, you Philistine.

Sandra: On that note we will go to commercial.

(The camera shows a final scene of the ring. The three Cherubs are walking angrily out of it as Willie helps Laura to her feet.)

The Winner: LAURA PARKER, by pinfall.

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