Lisa Dream vs. Veronica Millions
Kenny: Welcome, fans, to another edition of the Battling Ring Angels! We have an incredible card for you tonight!
Cari: I just can't wait to see that too-sweet-for-TV Lindsey Locke to get splattered all over that cage!
Kenny: How could you say something like that? Lindsey Locke is probably one of the nicest people to ever exist, what with all of her charity work and . . .
Cari: Can it, nerd boy! I know what the fans want. Anyways, it's about time for the first match, with the Image of Human Perfection herself . . . and some other washed-up Body Shopper.
Kenny: You mean Veronica Millions? I think 'washed-up' is hardly the right word for her. She's an excellent competitor . . . and speaking of that . . . here she comes!
(The crowd starts to fire up as 'Shimmer' by Fuel starts to play over the loud speaker and out steps Veronica Millions. She stands at the top of the ramp wearing a black t-shirt and black low-cut boots. Once she makes her way to the ring pyros go off all around her and Veronica takes off the t-shirt to reveal that she is wearing a pink satin bikini.)
Kenny: Nice entrance by Millions!
Cari: Ha! Just wait until the Dream comes out. She never fails to amuse me.
(All of the lights in the arena dim as the sounds of twinkling stars and awe music fill the stadium. The blood red letters 'THE DREAM' spin and solidify on the large jumbotron monitor located above the exit from the dressing room area, as smoke fills the entrance ramp. Then, there is a burst of pyrotechnics, the music shifts to the opening cords of 'NOOKIE', by Limp Bizkit, and Lisa Dream exits the dressing room area. She arrogantly stands on the entrance ramp, surveying the sell out crowd as they show their appreciation for the concieted woman. Wearing her black leather halter top and black leather pants combination, Lisa blows a kiss to her adoring fans, and then arrogantly struts down to the ring like a supermodel walking on a runway. She sweeps into the ring with an arrogant smirk, and struts around the perimeter of the squared circle for the benefit of her adoring fans. Lisa then orders someone at ringside to hand her a microphone, which she quickly gets, and, when the crowd finally quiets down, she raises it to her black painted lips.)
Lisa: All you lucky little DREAM-o-phobics are, most certainly in for a treat tonight! That's right, not only do you get to feast your eyes on this league's Ultimate Image of Human Perfection, but you also get to see her teach this young little imperfect imposter a true lesson in humility! I know how bored you all were, watching the matches before this one, watching these pretenders in the ring and counting down the minutes until your All American Sweetheart chose to grace you all with her luscious presence, so you can all now feel redeemed! The BRA Icon has entered the squared circle, and all you lucky little ticket holders are praising the gods for your good fortune!
Veronica Millions, you Body Shop leftover, you truly believe that you can contend with me? With the single greatest force that this league has ever known? Baby Doll, I have been a former champion, and, if management ever grew a couple of brain cells, they would know that nobody deserves that belt more than me! Who in this league could possibly drive in more business than myself? Whose waist is more luscious and deserving of gold than my own? Veronica, you pathetic little rag doll, I am going to toss you from one corner of that ring to the next like the rag doll that you are! I could beat you with both hands tied behind my back and a paper bag over my head...I know it, you know it, and all my loyal fans know it! So, this massacre is going out to all my loyal DREAM-o-phobics...those that wish that they're as Cunning as the Dream, as Talented as the Dream, as Gorgeous as the Dream! You are going down, baby doll, and you're going down with style! Because, when you oppose the All American Dream...you're going to get persecuted!
(She then tosses down the microphone, and does a little bump and grind dance for the benefit of the audience. Lisa then takes up a reclining position on top of a turnbuckle, arrogantly awaiting the beginning of the match.)
(Lynette Le Brie, the referee for this match, calls for the bell. Both Veronica and Lisa moves out of their corners and start to circle, Millions looking cautious and defensive, while Lisa keeps up her cocky airs. After a few seconds of sizing up, they both go for the lock-up . . .)
Kenny: Here we go! Both ladies look to be going for a slow start, but wait!
(Just before the two go to lock up, Dream suddenly slides forward to thrust her knee up into Veronica's crotch for an early low blow. However, Millions, apparently expecting some sort of tactic like this, manages to shift her knee up to intercept the blow.)
Kenny: It looks like Veronica was expecting trouble in this match!
Cari: I think Lisa Dream is just lulling that has-been into a false sense of security . . .
Kenny: Have you no shame?
(Lisa looks a bit shocked her attack was blocked, enough shocked to give Millions a chance to latch onto an arm and Irish Whip the Dream into the ropes. She readies herself as Lisa bounces back towards her and unleashes a fast clothesline at Lisa's throat. Unfortunately, the Dream's momentary shock has faded as she swiftly ducks the clothesline, rebounds off the opposite ropes, and catches the confused Millions with a quick knee lift, sending her sprawling to the mat. While her opponent is down, the BRA Icon takes the time to arrogantly pose for her adoring fans, pointing at her head to show off her obvious intelligence.)
Cari: See what I mean. You just can't beat Human Perfection, you know.
Kenny: Maybe, but Lisa is taking an awful lot of time to show-off to the crowd. My computer says that showing-off like this is 74.6% likely to lead to retaliation . . .
(True enough to Kenny's words, while Lisa applauds her brilliance, Millions gets quickly to her feet and grabs the Dream around the waist. With a look of sudden surprise, Dream is hoisted up and over with a grunt for a pounding German Suplex. Not hesitating for a moment, Veronica hauls up the pained Dream and whips her again into the ropes, setting up this time for a dropkick right to Lisa's face. The Dream doesn't find a save this time and takes two feet right in the face, which sends her sprawling to the mat.)
Kenny: Kenny - Great turnaround by Millions! If she can keep up this kind of pressure, I calculate she has a 64.3% chance of taking this one home! And rising!
Cari: It was a big fuss with the administration when you lost that computer at the last PPV, right?
Kenny: Well, yes. I certainly hope nothing happens to this one.
Cari: Then I think we've had enough percentages, catch my drift?
Kenny: Oh . . .
(Back in the ring, the Dream rolls away from her opponent, clutching her face. As she hits the outside, she gently prods it, looking for any damage.)
Lisa: Oh, my face! My Beautiful Face!
(Millions, not looking to let up for a second, hops out of the ring after Lisa, who is far too preoccupied with her face to worry about her opponent. She is brought back to reality, however, by a sudden Irish whip into the steel guardrails, sending shooting pain into her spine. The Dream is left hung over the guardrail by her arms, her worries about her face replaced by worries about her spine. Referee Le Brie seems to have no objections to this last turn of events, even to the point of having forgotten to start to count the ladies out.)
Cari: Maybe Millions isn't hopeless after all. Maybe all of those brawls with Zantara Underworld taught her something.
Kenny: That's quite possible! Lynette Le Brie seems to have completely discarded the idea of a count-out. We might be in for something big here . . .
(Sensing a chance to get a big advantage here, Veronica charges forward, looking to crush the BRA Icon between the rails and her body. Almost at the last moment, much to her and the fans' surprise, Lisa pulls up on the guardrails, flipping over them and out of the way as Millions crashes at full speed right into them. With the loud crash of flesh on metal, Millions flops off of the guardrail and into a heap on the ground. The Dream hops back over the rail, avoiding the undeserving touches of the front row fans, pulling out her legs in mid-leap to land butt-first on Millions' chest, eliciting a loud groan as Lisa wraps her legs around Veronica's neck.)
Lisa: Feel honoured to be this close to perfection, you Peon!
Cari: Like I said, Lisa has been in total control the whole time.
Kenny: But you just said that Millions may not be hope . . .
Cari: The computer. The floor. That's all I have to say, nerd boy.
(Dream starts to gyrate her hips as she grins in the head-scissors hold. Millions lets out a loud groan as she searches for a way out of the hold. After a few moments, Le Brie, apparently having her fill of the out-of-the ring antics for now, begins to leisurely count out the wrestlers.)
Kenny: Lynette Le Brie finally trying to take back control of the match! And about time, I say!
Cari: Who asked you? I personally like Le Brie's style. She doesn't let rules get in the way of entertainment for the fans!
(As the count reaches 8, Dream untangles her legs and hauls a bedraggled Veronica Millions to her feet, pushing her back into the ring before mounting the apron. Lisa struts for a moment as she climbs into the ropes, blowing a kiss to the fans.)
Lisa: Whose your greatest DREAM, and her greatest Nightmare?
(Many of the fans shout back the answer. Veronica takes these moments to try to recover, slowly pulling herself back to her feet, her chest and neck on fire. The Dream herself seems to favour her back a bit as well as she finally makes her way through the ropes. She begins to get Millions the rest of the way up courtesy of her hair, but Veronica fights back with a quick series of punches to Lisa's gut, causing her to recoil violently. Getting the rest of the way up, Veronica moves to grab Dream in a waist lock but . . .)
Kenny: Vicious rake of the eyes! Just when Millions was making another come-back!
Cari: You can never count out the former champion . . . she always has something up her sleeves.
(Again, Le Brie makes no motion to warn either woman about closed fists or raking the eyes. Millions staggers back, hands trying to comfort her pained eyes. As she staggers around blindly, Lisa takes the opportunity to hop up to the second rope, bounding off of it for momentum, and bringing her foot around in a spinning Springboard Kick, which catches Veronica square in the jaw, sending her reeling for a moment before falling over on her side, clutching her jaw.)
Kenny: Great show of athletic talent by Lisa Dream . . . it's just too bad she has to break so many rules to show it off.
Cari: Millions hasn't been Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes herself with those closed fists. Lisa was just defending herself.
(Lisa mounts the top turnbuckle as Millions languishes in the ring. She takes a moment to do a little 'bump and grind' for the courtesy of the fans, finishing by blowing them a kiss. Meanwhile, Veronica has shown a bit of fortitude and pulled herself up to her feet, getting her bearings. The Dream takes this as an opportunity and hurtles at Millions, spread out into a full Body Splash. Flesh meets flesh for impact and . . .)
Cari: I can't believe it! Millions actually caught the Image of Human Perfection!
Kenny: All of that pounding from Underworld must have paid off in the toughness department! And the follow-up . . .
(Veronica stumbles from the impact of catching Lisa, and, with a loud grunt, sends her over with a Power Slam to the mat. The effort leaves Millions spent as well, rolling onto her back to try to recover. The Dream, meanwhile, is a crumpled heap on the mat, her back lit up with fiery pain.)
Kenny: They're both down! Le Brie starts to count both of the wrestlers out . . . with the match they've had, this could be a double disqualification . . . in fact my computer says it is . . . .
Cari: . . . time for you to stop quoting statistics or I will follow through with my threat.
Kenny: Good point!
(Le Brie continues her count . . . it's certainly not exciting to watch two wrestlers flop on the mat. The two ladies begin to stir, both seeking the support of ring ropes to aid their ascent. By the count of 7, the two fighters have recovered their feet. Millions takes the initiative, as Lisa tenderly probes the pains in her back, charging forward and grabbing the Dream by the wrist, sending her Irish-whipping across the ring, taking off after her a split-second later for one fierce collision. However, as Lisa nears the ropes, she suddenly flips into a front handstand, her legs hitting the ropes and bouncing off with increased momentum. She uses that momentum to speed up her backflip onto her feet, then springs into a lightning-fast Flying Elbow, which catches the unaware Millions straight in the face.)
Cari: Dreamcatcher by Lisa! One of the many trademarks of the All American Sweetheart!
Kenny: Veronica has taken too much punishment so far to see that one coming . . .
(With a cocky smirk on her face, Lisa pulls the stunned Millions to her feet. Veronica looks badly dazed as the Dream brings her back to reality with an echoing backhand slap.)
Lisa: Stay awake, Imperfect Imposteur! I want you to see Perfection in action!
(With that, Lisa leaps up, catching Millions in a vicious standing headscissors. Lisa signals to the crowd, as Millions tries to pry the BRA Icon off of her neck, but to no avail, as Lisa suddenly drops into her brutal modified DDT. Veronica bounces from the impact and lays still.)
Cari: One Day-Dreamer, signed, sealed, and delivered!
Kenny: Looks like this one's over!!
(Trying not to show how hurt she is herself, Lisa goes for a straight pin, motioning to herself while Le Brie drops for the count.)
-1-
-2-
-3-
(The crowd sparks to cheer for the winner, as Lisa gets up to sit on Millions' face, doing a seated bump and grind as 'Nookie' by Limp Bizket fires back up. As she starts the humiliation, however, the All-American Sweetheart doesn't count that she hasn't entirely taken out Millions as she manages to flip Dream off of her angrily.)
Kenny: Uh-oh! The action may not be over with quite yet! Millions looks angry!
Cari: Oh no . . .save me from the big bad Body Shopper! Puh-leeze!
(However, Ms. Trammel isn't entirely right. Lisa looks totally confused that Millions isn't completely out. With a look of pure anger, Millions hauls the shocked Dream up, scoops her up, and delivers a big Scoop Slam, sending her bouncing in the center of the ring, followed up by a big Leg Drop. The Image of Human Perfection twitches from the impact and clutches her throat. As Millions goes to pick her up again, discretion takes the better part of valour as Dream rolls rapidly to scoot outside the ring, making good her retreat. Millions glares past the ring ropes after the retreating Icon and angrily makes her way out of the ring.)
Kenny: I think Millions feels cheated by Dream's dirty tactics . . . this may not be the last of this!
Cari: We're talking about the Ultimate Image of Human Perfection here, not some low-grade peon. I think Dream has as little to worry about any retaliation as I have of worrying about old Puss-Face Trask from harming me.
Kenny: I don't know about that . . . on either count. Anyways . . . let's go to the next match . . .
WINNER - Lisa Dream, by pinfall